Recall
(Warning, heavy dialog.)
Recall
"Spike, just send the letter." Sin groaned rubbing his gazed foreleg.
"I will if you tell me the truth!" The dragon shot back in a rage.
Sin rubbed his forehead with his right, uninjured, leg. This couldn't be going any worse if he'd planned it. First he gets surprised and mauled by two guards, something he should have been expecting in the first place, runs for almost two hours on a cut leg then drags Spike another two to this abandon cottage, tends to the laceration on his leg, which hurt something fierce, with inadequate medical training to a poor completion at best.
And here he was now. Ever since Spike woke up, he hadn't been anything but unresponsive. Feeling it best to give the dragon a bit of comfort; he wrote up a letter informing Celestia that Twilight and the others were clear to return. Personally, he'd rather hold off on them coming back, but Spike needed support and comforting. Neither of those things he knew how to give with any kind of adequacy.
The first letter Spike sent with out an issue, the drake was still melancholic and distant. But when that return letter came... By Strong-Arc, he'd thought the letter contained something along the lines of his dog being put down, the way the drake reacted. He wasn't out of it anymore, now he was livid beyond reason. When asked questioned about his sudden burst of rage, the dragon demanded to know if Sin lied to him on if he killed the griffin or not.
"What difference would it make?" Sin asked genuinely confused, though he shouldn't have been. Spike was a great deal smarter than he gave him credit for.
"Don't play bucking games with me!" Spike yelled, his claws gripping the parchment tight. "Did I or did I not kill her!"
Sin gave an exacerbated sigh, he'd have to know sooner or later, than nodded in the affirmative. Spike demeanor change from one of rage to sadness and guilt. Sin's body tensed at the familiarity of the feeling. He knew what it was like to confirm your first kill, it was one of the most soul slashing experiences he'd ever felt. One that he never recovered from. "Now send the letter."
Spike looked up at him with teary eyes. "I can't."
"Do it."
"NO!" He shouted throwing the parchment across the living area of the cottage. "How am I supposed to do that huh? How am I suppose to face Twilight after this?"
Sin tried to ease the dragons frustration by explaining that his act was in self defense, not out of hate or anger. There was no reason to beat himself up as much as he was. Spike didn't respond well, claiming that he was a murderer, he killed a sentient being just like himself.
Tears ran freely down the drakes face. "I can never go home." His eyes trailed down. "How can she ever love a killer, huh? You saw how everypony reacted when you killed that Triple M. pony! Those scornful and hateful looks we gave you, I can't..." He sniffled. "I can't face that. I can't face her hating me."
"She wont hate you." Sin replied calmly. For some reason; this was hard for him to say. "Ms. Sparkle loves you deeply, I've seen it with my own two eyes. She would walk through a lake of fire for you."
"That's different." Spike said barley above a whisper. "I didn't kill anypony back then."
The two continued on, the baby dragon's emotions swinging from heated yelling near tearful sobs and back again. He went over all of his friends, how Fluttershy would probably never speak to him again, AJ and Rarity would be to appalled to even tell him off, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie would probably disown him outright. Sin tried everything in his power to talk down the emotional twister, but to no avail.
He repressed the urge to slam his head into the wall. How could he have allowed this to happen? He knew the possibilities, he knew the chances, he should have sent Spike with them. He didn't have any business here, none of them did. And here was a baby dragon with blood on his hands: scared, alone and confused, all because he allowed it. But his feelings would need to wait for now, his friend needed help.
"Spike." he called, gaining the attention of the mentioned from his stupor. His eyes were red, his face was stuck in a pathetic look of misery. "You killed someone, yes. There's no helping that now, but you need to send that letter to Celestia." The dragon weakly shook his head.
"Listen to me. I know how you feel, I know the self hatred and degradation you're putting yourself through. You shouldn't have had to do it, and I take responsibility for that. If Twilight will hate anyone it will be me. But right now, you need her."
"How do you know what I need?" Spike replied, his eyes hardening.
"You don't want to handle this alone." The stallion shot back with venom. "Shame is a powerful Master emotion. It can drive you to do some pretty stupid things. Driving your friends away, giving up on self respect and esteem, and soon enough, you start to think yourself unworthy of happiness and," He looked to his bandaged wing, "Hurt yourself. To try to make up for it"
Spike frowned at him, an expression a mixed with anger and begrudging admittance. He tried to eye the pony, though the emerald orbs simply couldn't keep contact.
The stallion gulped. "Take a look at me." He gestured to himself. "Do you really want to be like me?" Spike's eyes shot wide with surprise. It was a cheap move, but he couldn't let Spike suffer the way he had. "It's not my place to put you in this position and I know that, I am a stallion of freedom of choice. However, I'm also a stallion of informed decisions, if you don't accept the help you need, this is what you will become."
The drake didn't respond, just looked on dumbly.
"From what I understand, dragons live for thousands of years at a time." He removed his goggles and looked Spike dead in the eye. His icy blue retina's glaring into the dragons soul. "That's a long time to live, when you spend every day hating yourself."
The look of shock didn't leave the hatchling's face, but after a long pause he began walking over to where he threw the crumpled parchment and studied it. He looked one last time to the pony, who gave him an affirming nod before replacing his eye wear, and the dragon blew the familiar green flames and the scroll turned into the typical magical puff of smoke. After a quick feel about of the area, the cloud traveled out the window.
"What have I done?" Spike yelped. He wordlessly slugged past the pony and into the sleeping quarters of the hut.
Sin sat in silence, he felt bad about his pressuring, however, he had to do it. He only hoped that Twilight and the others would be able to help and comfort him.
A few minutes passed of contemplation, than, finally, the familiar white flash and pop executed in front of him. There stood the ever graceful Princess Celestia and the seven ponies he had been expecting.
"SIN!" Pinkie exclaimed pouncing on him and hugging him. "I missed you sooo much!" The stallion pushed her off with what little strength he could muster, and hissed as he inspected his injured foreleg.
"OHMIGOSH!" The party mare exclaimed gently grabbing the appendage and examining the bandaged wound, "What happened? What meanie meanpants did this?"
Well, she's back to her old self at least.
"It's nothing." Sin spat retracting his foreleg. "Twilight I think-" He stopped as his eyes befell Star Shade wrapped in a straight jacket and muzzle. "Alright, what did he do?"
Yea, it was imperative that They tend to Spike, but right now... He just had to know what he did to get that kind of treatment.
"Well." Celestia growled, her tone far from friendly. "He managed to ruin a perfect good royal feast after fasting to tend to Discord for three days, assaulted my nephew Prince Blueblood as well as a one of his body guards, entered into his room in the middle of the night, snapped off his horn and then proceeded to eat it."
Sin sat silently eying the Alicorn... "What, that's it?" He asked genuinely surprised.
Celestia frowned in reply. "That's it?" She asked equally bemused.
Sin drew his gaze to Shade. "That's really all you did?" Shade smiled and nodded happily. "Wow, you really were on your best behavior. I'm impressed." Shade giggled joyfully while Celestia and Twilight stood wide eyed. "Trust me, it could have been a lot worse."
"Right, so Where's Spike?" Twilight chirped looking around.
Sin bit his lip, 'Well, at least I tried to lighten the mood;' He took a breath. "He's in the other room, Ms. Sparkle before you go in to see him, there's something you should know."
After he was sure he had everyone's undivided attention, he told the story of how they crossed the border. How they were hiding from a patrol and a scroll from a certain unicorn mare, not naming names, came forth in a belch that drew attention to their position.
After came the hard part. He explained about the border patrol agents had found something that compromised their preferable inconspicuous approach and he had to take action to stop the patrol from reporting back with their findings for fear of the wall being put on lock down. Thus killing any chance of getting past it within a month's time.
Everyone listened with great anticipation, to them it was probably like hearing some kind of fictional tale of jumping the castle wall to save the princess. He chastised himself for the little bit of pleasure he took in knowing he was going to crush their feelings of hope, and finished up with Spike shooting and killing a griffin.
There was a collective gasp at the mention and he nodded once to affirm they heard correctly. "After that, we had a minor scuffle with another pair of guards and made it here. I've been trying to get him to send for you for he past twenty-four hours." He looked to one very stunned Twilight. "And that's why I wanted you here as quickly as possible. The longer he lacks the support he needs, the worse off he'll be."
"Dear Celestia..." Twilight whispered, her trembling form betraying her fear.
"I take full responsibility for his actions." Sin growled. "If you're mad at anyone, it should be me. It's my fault."
"No, It's my fault." The lavender mare replied, more to herself than anyone else. "If I hadn't sent that letter, none of this would-"
"Now is not the time for blame Twilight." Celestia cooed, nuzzling the unicorns cheek. "Spike needs you now, more than ever it seems."
Taking a quick breath to focus her confidence, Twilight exhaled solemnly and walked to the door Sin mentioned, slowly poking her way in.
Silence took the room again, it wasn't the awkward silence of waiting for someone to say something; it was the kind of silence that came before something terrible was about to happen. The air was tense and Sin didn't dare to look any of them in the eye. He didn't know how they would react to his admission of responsibility. Even if they did accept what he had done, would Spike? Could Spike ever forgive him? He wouldn't blame him if he failed to.
"Dija make him do it?" He heard a familiar voice ask. The injured stallion looked up to see Big Macintosh looking down at him with indifferent eyes.
"Have I ever made anyone do anything?" Was his reply, a bit more seething than he intended, but being accused of forcing anyone against there will was a bit of an insult.
Mac nodded, his eyes never loosing their neutral glance, than he too wandered into the room where Twilight and Spike were.
"How is your leg?" Celestia asked.
Sin shrugged, mentioning how it wasn't as bad as she thought. The Alicorn nodded before she too went to comfort the dragon. Sin motioned for the rest of the girls to head in with her, best to have all his friends there and what not. Each nodded and followed Celestia in.
"So... What now?" Ace stated, trying to break the tension. Sin replied with a questioning sound. "You alright?"
The stallion sighed, "I don't know Ace. I'm- I'm tired."
Ace laughed, before he teased about how skipping the border and fighting five patrol agents must have worn him out. The oak pony attempted to rise, though his leg caused him to fall back down and humph. Ace and Shade shared a chuckle at the injured ponies expense.
"Ah, c'mon Sin, you know we're just messing with ya." Ace managed. Though their victim seemed to have faded out of consciousness. "Wow, he's more exhausted than I thought."
Shade nodded in agreement.
Sin found himself within the empty confides of the Senate building.
"What?" He asked aloud as his head darted left and right, trying to find anyone who could explain how he ended up here. He scratched the side of his head in thought when he missed the all to familiar duel straps that held his eye wear in place. Matter of fact, upon farther inspection, he noticed all of his apparel was missing. No scars or scratches, and his wings weren't bandaged either.
"Strange." He wondered the Senate building for a while longer, the air seemed... heavier than he remembered, the lights casting a more grey/blue color across the scape. "Weren't those gold?" He thought about how the gold light seemed much warmer and more inviting, the cold silverish blue only made the place seem more alien than the first time he'd ever entered the building those years ago.
He kept the discrepancy in mind, but found no farther use in being there. He walked outside to the familiar streets of Unitas. "Ok, what's going on?" He asked, the streets heald the same grey tone and were bare, not only of life, but of food stands, carts, steam engines, there wasn't even the familiar litter of flying newspapers or stray puddles of water. Now he was starting to get a little unnerved.
He walked forward against his will. He didn't know why he was walking up the street, but something told him he'd figure out why he was here along the path. Besides, standing around here probably wont do him much good anyway. He passed by the familiar shops, the baker's, the fortune teller's, the smith's, a couple of restaurants.
As he turned the corner, his eyes went wide. What he was seeing was impossible, it couldn't be real. "What?" He asked in utter dismay. There, where the Triple M. sky scraper was supposed to be was his childhood home. A quaint little white and yellow house with a grey roof and small chimney. It was a lot smaller than he remembered, though he hadn't seen it since he was young.
Shaking the shock of it all away, he began to approach the structure. He didn't want to, he knew something was there he didn't want to see. There was a gut wrenching pull in his stomach that warned him not to go in, but he couldn't help himself. As he stepped onto the porch, the door swung open slowly, as if the house itself was expecting him.
His stomach dropped completely upon the sight within the small living room. There, on the small haysewn rug was a very young grey earth colt, smiling and playing with a train set. "Malich?" Sin asked. "I must be dreaming. This isn't possible."
The young colt's merriment was interrupted by a clopping of hooves. "Islander!" He exclaimed standing up and rushing out of Sin's view.
"Here we go..." Sin growled, begrudging the fact he would have to follow after the colt. And as expected, his dream forced him to walk inside and stand in the archway right outside the living room. He stood looked to his right and found his brother siting patiently by another colt, this one a brown pegasus with bandaged wings.
"Malich," The colt called. "Haven't we talked enough?"
"Aww c'mon Islander. Just one more." Malich begged with huge eyes.
Sin's body tightened, no, no don't tell him anything! Shut up! Just shut the fuck up! Don't you realize what you're doing you sick bastard?!
Islander sighed, "Alright, but this is the last time." Oh no... Where he was sitting, where Malich was, the book in his hooves, this was it. This was the day he really messed up his brother's head. "Remember what I taught you about ignorance and stupidity?"
Malich placed his hoof to his mouth and thought. "You said: stupidity and ig-nor-ance is the cause of all suffering."
There was no stopping it, this scene would play out as it had before. Sin viewed the world with great disdain during his adolescence, opting to bury himself in more intellectual studies and arrogantly thinking himself better than his peers for, what at the time, thinking he saw the world for what it was. History class spoke of the revolution that lead to the mass beheading of the heads of the states, but unlike his classmates who saw the execution as the end of evil, he couldn't let go of the fact that everyone at the time was actually willing to go to war and sacrifice lives. Believing with out question what ever their government's told them until the Ride of the Centaur, where the truth was reviled.
Though, two hundred and some odd years later, here the Citizens were again; believing what ever the state told them. They were in the middle of a recession when he was that age, a recession that spanned to the present, and since he was the kind of child to want to know how the world worked; he frequented a local library, and spent most of his time reading up on said subject. First came money, after that, purchase and revenue, than cost and taxes, than finally, the Economy as a whole.
He tried to bring up the topic on several occasion to different figures: his teachers, his father, his councilor, but they all shrugged him off, the only help to be had was from the librarian himself. It infuriated him to a great degree, being ignored while he tried to address something he thought was important, all because of his age. But he knew he was right. Even if he wasn't old and wise with time, he thought he knew the numbers added up... Or didn't, rather.
But there was one who would listen to him and his teaching, and that was his little brother.
"Very good." Islander affirmed. "Now do you remember what I told you about the Economy?"
"That's what makes money work!" Malich replied, a grin of pride on his face over remembering it.
"Excellent. Now, what happens when the economy dies because there's no money?"
Malich pressed his brows together, trying to piece the puzzle correctly. "When the economy dies and there's no money, nobody can... buy anything?"
Islander smirked. "Exactly."
Sin wanted to jump onto his younger self and beat him senseless. That smirk, that smirk was the same his brother had now. That self serving and pretentious, smug smile made his blood boil. He stood by and allowed the scene to play before him, the initial shock of it all finally over. He didn't hate it any less, but at least he wasn't as worked up as he was initially.
"What do you think a smart pony would do in this situation?" Malich chuckled before giving his answer. How obvious it was that any smart pony would buy stuff to help them survive in the wild. Islander's smile grew. "And what will happen to the stupid ponies?"
"They die off!" Malich chirped.
"Yes. they die off and get out of the way of we who saw it coming." The older brother set his book down on the couch. "Citizens these days think they know better than back then, they think they are better and smarter, but they aren't." He looked down to Malich. "They do the same exact thing, and that makes them stupid and ignorant."
Sin gritted his teeth, why was he seeing this? There was no point in reliving this memory other than to anger himself. His mind was drawing blanks to what little knowledge on dream interpretation he had, not surprising; considering his entire function of critical thinking couldn't be accessed either. None but shallow thoughts were available to preoccupy him now, thanks to the dream haze as he called it.
"And all stupid people deserve to die!" Malich jumped up and down. Even when put into context, a small child jumping up and down happily over the concept of death was nothing short of unnerving. How could he have felt proud of this? 'How could I ever have seen this as a good thing?'
"They don't just deserve to die, Malich." Islander corrected with his eyes closed and his nose up in the air. "They deserve to suffer."
As much as Sin regretted these scenes that made history flesh, he had to admit, his inside view hadn't changed. He still believed in the suffering of others for their stupidity. But the way he explained it here, it was as if it were something to be hunted and killed, not to pitied and educated.
"They all deserve to suffer. Every last one of them."
The dreaming pony sighed, back then, he wasn't talking about the country as a whole. He was more talking about those who ignored him. Such a childlike mentality, blame the world for the few who hurt you. Still... A child being able to see the economic problems of the country, yet nobody else could? Or nobody else addressed it? Was it really so foolish to label them all stupid for failing to stop what was all too obvious to come?
It really wasn't difficult: More money is spent than what one has, so they borrow, but can't pay back the money that's borrowed... How freaking difficult was that? Sure he went on and became more educated about the intricacies of the state's capital system, as well as different economic systems and theories, but at that point in time, he thought it simply: Pay your debts and live, or fail and don't eat.
Two knocks at the door caused Sn to look behind him confused. "What?"
"Yay! He's here!" Malich sprang to the door. His brother questioned the colts doings, jumping through Sin as if he wasn't there, the colt halted at the door "My friend's here. He wanted to hear what you had to say too."
Wait, friend? This wasn't part of the memory.
The colt opened the door and Sin's mouth gaped. There in the doorway stood a very young violet and green reptile he knew all to well. "No..." Spike wasn't the adolescent self he was now, no; he was the young and pudgy baby dragon that he'd met back in Ponyville, maybe a bit younger.
As Spike entered the home, he and Malich stepped through Sin and walked back to the living room. "It's good to see you again Spike." Islander called.
'See you again?'
"Are you ready for me to ruin your life too?"
"WHAT?!" Sin barked.
Sin snapped his head up and winced. He looked back down at his injured hoof and heaved a sigh of relief; he was awake again. He looked around to find Shade and Ace and Shade sleeping on the floor on the other side of the room. How long was he out? The sun was down, so it must have been a few hours at least.
He looked back to the door and stood, his body trembled, but he ignored the pain and limped to the door and peaked inside to find Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Big Mac sleeping peacefully on a rug, Twilight was coddling spike and tenderly brushing her hoof over his head. Her eyes were red and puffy. Pinkie lay on the other side of the old bed, she could only look on helplessly to the poor dragon.
Strange, her mane wasn't poofy or wild as it typically was. For some reason it was bone straight... Did she straighten it or something?
"How's he doing?" He asked.
Twilight looked up at him with, to his surprise, sad eyes. No anger, no hatred, not even malicious, just despair. "He's been through alot." She replied finally, before looking back down to him. She told how he cried for a while, confessing everything to her. How terrible he felt, how he thought he failed her and that she wouldn't love him anymore, even topics that she thought burred years ago had been weighing on the dragon's mind.
Twilight was in just as much pain as Spike was by the look of it. She winced and sniffled back a tear. "What am I suppose to do?" She asked looking back at Sin. "I- I don't know how to help him."
The survivalist sighed. "You have to make him forgive himself." His words seem to have caught the mare off guard, not surprising, all things considered. "Killing another tears at the soul, Ms. Sparkle. And for a soul and heart as sensitive and caring as his, such a thing can eat at him for the rest of his life. He will never be the same, but his need for you hasn't changed."
Twilight didn't respond, she just sat silently than nodded before returning to her motherly affection. Seeing his business here was done, the survivalist took his leave and walked back outside.
"How's the leg?" Twilight called.
Sin shot her a quick smirk than left the room. He took his spot back on the boarded floor and waited. He guessed Celestia had returned to Equestria, and the others decided to stay. Why? He wasn't sure, but right now he didn't matter. The main concern was his dream and the dragon. Why was he there?
He heard his name called and looked up to see Pinkie looking down on him in concern. "Yes?"
Pinkie lowered herself down and looked at his injured leg before offering her own. The stallion tried to calm her concerns, claiming he was fine, though the party mare wouldn't accept that answer.
"Quit being so stubborn and let me see it." She demanded sternly.
"It's fine."
"Is that why it's bleeding?"
Sin looked down, it did surprise him to see a bit of crimson seeping through the bandages. 'well shit.' He was about to ask for Pinkie to bring him his saddle bag, though a low grumble from his stomach seemed to have decided it's complaining was more important.
Pinkie giggled. "Sounds like somepony's hungry." She smiled softly, "How long has it been since you've eaten?"
"Hmm... About two or three days."
The mare's eyes bulged in shock. "THREE DAYS?!"
"Shh." Was she trying to wake up Spike? Well, if she didn't know, that probably meant Twilight didn't either, and by consequences, Spike was probably as famished as he was.
Inquiring if the returning ponies bore any food, Pinkie nodded and wondered over to a group of saddlebags and sacks. She grabbed one in her muzzle, brought it back, and pulled out a couple of dandelion sandwiches. "I figured you guys would be hungry."
Sin took the sandwich with a word of thanks. He scarfed the morsels down in two bites. He looked more like a wild animal eating it's fresh kill than a pony enjoying a sandwich. Offering him another, She tried again to tend to his leg. She stepped back in surprise when he back away from her.
She scolded him about how stupid he was being and the possibility of the wound being infected. The amount of blood starting to come out due to his movements and stress, was becoming a little sickening.
One last failed attempt to help tend to the stallions injuries, and party mare wondered back into the room. After, Sin limped again and retracted his medical kit from his bag.
"Dude, you're an ass hole."
Sin didn't bother looking over, "I said I didn't want her help. She didn't listen."
He heard Ace sigh. "You're going to need to stop being like this, or you're going to have trust issue for the rest of your life."
"And?"
"You're young. Far to young to be acting like some angry old hermit." Ace shot, it wasn't often one saw the golden pegasus agitated, but when he was, he was as pushy and assertive as they came. Luckily, Sin was more than a match.
"Go back to sleep Ace." He returned to his spot and retracted a bottle of sterilizing alcohol. "We'll be moving out tomorrow."
Stats
Page generated in 0.03 seconds
Total duration
915 users online
1,201,615 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
And I was right
Though I have to ask what was in that letter he got that made asking for the truth
And in all honesty Shade could done worst seeing what happened to that one village that Shade decided to visit
1823707 It was more or less the thought of seeing Twilight again with the thought that he might have killed someone fresh in his mind. The letter was basically saying that they were coming back. It was implied that he wanted a definitive yes or no before he could talk to her again.
1823773
Eh, that makes sense. Lets just hope he gets over this quickly. If something big and bad happens he will not be of much help to the others or himself.
1824125 Oh, I assure you, what is next to come will be a hot button for all involved...
On a personal note, thank you for commenting. Those always encourage me to write more.
No prob. I'm a sucker for a good story involing Spike.