Interlude: Mysterious Stranger
What a strange pony… I don’t believe I’ve ever met such an unusual individual. Luna thought to herself as she sat on her bed. I couldn’t even understand him! Why did he panic? And what was he even doing all the way out there? She was getting nowhere with her questions and decided she’d need some help to solve this mystery. If there was anypony who might know something, it was her older sister.
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The alicorn of the night slowly trotted through the corridors. The events that had just transpired were still fresh in her mind… and there was only one other person she felt she could talk to about it. Luna eventually reached her destination and hesitated before entering. She gently rapped on the door to her sister’s bedchambers, somewhat doubtful she would be awake this early.
“Tia? Are you awake?” Luna asked as she slowly opened up the massive door to the bedroom. “I’m sorry if I’m waking you, but there was something I…” Her words trailed off as she noticed Celestia wasn’t in her bed… or even in the room. Even through darkness of the private room, she could see as though it were day. Luna slowly inspected the main room, bathroom, and walk-in closet; all with no sign of the solar alicorn.
Where could she have gone off to?
She heard a slight noise that immediately drew her attention to the glass door that led out onto a balcony. Luna reached the door and was just about to open it when she saw a flash of white in the top corner of her eyes. Celestia set down on the balcony and folded her wings back against her coat. She had her back to the door, staring at the grand view, lost in her thoughts.
Luna just watched her sister for a minute. Celestia bowed her head, almost in an expression of defeat it seemed like. This puzzled the younger princess greatly, her sister being awake this early, and in such a visibly poor mood was quite the oddity. She was about to open the door before Celestia turned around.
“Luna!” Celestia’s eyes went wide for a moment as the shock registered she wasn’t alone. Luna had slightly jumped at the sudden exclamation. “I’m sorry if I startled you,” She comforted as she quickly magicked open the glass double-doors. “I wasn’t expecting you to come by… is something wrong?” Celestia hesitantly asked as she strode over to her sibling and gave her a warm, almost motherly smile.
“Yes, no…not exactly, Tia.” Luna stuttered as her intended conversation from before slowly came back to her. She decided to question her sister in the meantime. “It can wait. Where did you go? It’s very early in the morning, even for you,” Luna tilted her head in bewilderment. She had a feeling something wasn’t right.
“I was going to ask you a similar question,” Celestia chuckled to herself. “Why are you here so early? By this time you usually take your nightly stroll.”
“I asked first, Tia. You know the rules.” Luna winked as she recalled their millennium-old ‘sister rules’. “So you answer first,” She finished with a light poke to her older sibling’s sides.
“Oh fine then,” Celestia smiled and rolled her eyes in reluctant acceptance. She looked back to Luna and blinked before speaking again. “I was up early and decided to go on a short flight. It’s been much too long since I’ve stretched my wings.” She finished with a quick smile.
“But, Tia, I fly places much less than you do, and my wings are just fine,” Luna raised an eyebrow, suspicious. Celestia smiled and blinked a few times before replying.
“Well, you always were the better flyer out of the two of us.” She remarked with a playful jab at her younger sister’s muzzle. “I just have to fly more to make up for it, you see.”
What is she talking about? Tia’s a fantastic flyer… she did the first Sonic Rainboom even! Something wasn’t right here… but she decided to tackle that issue later. Her original topic of discussion practically screamed to be heard.
“I suppose you’re right,” Luna smiled and waved a dismissive hoof in front of herself. Celestia silently smiled and walked over to her bed, getting atop it and quickly tucking her legs together into a comfortable position.
“Now, what was it you came down here to talk to me about?”
“It’s about a stallion I ran into earlier, a unicorn to be precise,” Luna stated as she took a place next to her older sister.
“Is my little Lulu developing a crush on somepony?” The white alicorn flashed an evil smirk at the end of her question, earning an un-amused look from the recipient.
“No.” Luna deadpanned. She never did like being teased. “I stumbled upon him during my nightly walk after I raised the moon. I wasn’t too sure what to make of it at first to be honest, Tia. I noticed an orange figure lying in the grass and quickly ran up to find a stallion lying unconscious in the middle of the ground!”
“Really?” Celestia arched an eyebrow, truly interested in her sister’s retelling of events. “And where exactly did you find him?”
“It was in the palace gardens, in the labyrinth actually. He awoke shortly after I found him and he panicked and was practically hysterical at the sight of me. And he spoke such a strange language I did not comprehend. I tried talking to this stallion anyways, but he panicked and fell unconscious again. I really did not know what to make of the situation at first…” Luna trailed off as she looked out the glass doors leading to the balcony, lost in her memory of the unusual event.
“What happened next, Luna?” Celestia gently nudged her sister to get her attention.
“I decided to take him to the Canterlot hospital after alerting the guards I would be leaving. I thought he may have needed medical attention, so I teleported us both to the emergency room. After he was situated and tended to, I left and came here.”
“That was a good thing you did, my sister. If you hadn’t acted immediately, something could have happened to him,” Celestia remarked with a wide smile. “I’m proud of you, Lulu.”
“Thank you,” Luna smiled back up at her sister. “The doctors gave him a private room and said they’d send word if anything changed. Tia? Have you even seen an adult pony without their Cutie Mark? The unicorn I found was fully grown, yet... he did not have one. Have you ever heard of such a thing?” Luna asked, completely lost at the concept of an adult ‘blank-flank’.
“Now that you mention it, that is strange…” Celestia rubbed her chin with a perfectly-tended hoof as she tried to recall something. “I haven’t heard of something like this for quite some time actually. I believe it was a pegasus I met a few centuries back. It was the first time I’d even heard of something like that.”
“Really?” Luna perked up; somewhat relieved her sister knew what she was talking about. “What happened to this pony? Did they ever get their Cutie Mark?”
“Yes, she received it not long after we met actually,” Celestia answered as she drifted off back into her memories. She couldn’t believe how quickly those centuries had passed. She mentally shook herself back into reality. “It’s not important right now though. What are you going to do about the unicorn you found?”
“Like I said, I’m going to wait for word from the doctors on his condition and then check on him.”
“You seem awfully worried about him, Lulu,” Celestia smirked.
“Should We not be worried about the health of our subjects?” Luna asked with a confused tone.
“Just saying, it seems you have taken a liking to this particular stallion is all,” The solar alicorn teased with a light prodding of her sister’s wing.
“You know we are only interested in mares, Tia,” Luna deadpanned with an un-amused expression, now getting up from her position on the bed and dropping to the floor. “I’m going to return to my stroll. Thank you for talking to me, Tia. It is greatly appreciated.”
“Any time you need me, dear sister,” Celestia smiled warmly to the now leaving alicorn. Luna left the bedroom and shut the large golden doors behind her. Celestia just stared for a few moments, allowing herself to freely think. Wordlessly, she dropped to the floor and slowly trotted into the bathroom. Using her magic to turn on the faucet and splash some cold water on her face, she frowned as a thought kept repeating itself in her head.
This is going to be interesting…
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Luna sat at her throne with a bored expression that had become all too familiar, looking over her manicured hooves for probably the one hundredth time that night. Being a princess certainly did have its drawbacks. Nopony ever came to night court, but it was still required for her to spend the proper amount of time in the throne room. She usually brought a few books to pass the time, but they were proving of little interest lately.
It had been nearly three nights since she had first encountered the mysterious orange unicorn. Luna was somewhat surprised she hadn’t heard anything in that time. She looked over to the ponies charged with her protection at either side of the room.
Wouldn’t be the first time my guards scared somepony off… She thought sourly, remembering the piercing golden eyes and bat-like wings each Lunar Stallion possessed. Even if it was just an enchantment, they still were a bit unnerving, if not intimidating to many ponies.
Celestia had been rather busy the past couple of days, and had little time to talk with Luna. Although, each chance she got, she asked the younger alicorn about any news from the hospital, each time she would get a shake of the head and a negative answer.
Luna started mentally debating with herself whether she should just go on her own and check on the status of the peculiar pony, but not before a knocking at the doors ripped her from her thoughts. She eyed the throne room’s colossal doors eagerly; any visitors would be a warmly welcomed escape from her boredom.
“Enter,” Luna commanded. The doors slightly parted, revealing a Lunar Stallion who quickly bowed before speaking.
“Your highness, somepony wishes to see you. Shall I send them in?” He asked before returning to a crisp attention, waiting for an answer.
“Yes, please send them in right away, thank you,” Luna slightly smiled to herself, glad for some company, however long or short it may be. The guard passed back through the door, quickly being replaced by a white mare with a purple mane and a nicely-kept horn. The lunar alicorn smiled at the sight and her mood immediately took a positive turn.
“How may the princess of the night assist you, miss…?”
“I’m Nurse Soothing Song from Canterlot Memorial. I’m here about the stallion you brought in a few days ago.” The nurse simply stated, she seemed surprisingly unafraid of the princess or the guards who watched her every move like a Hydra.
“What is his condition?”
“About that…” The mare’s demeanor changed and she rubbed the back of her neck as she prepared her next words. “There was an… ‘incident’ concerning the patient.” This made Luna’s blood chill for a moment.
“What are thou talking about? Is he alright?” The princess asked, afraid of the answer that would leave the mystery of the orange stallion forever unsolved.
“He’s fine, for now. We had to sedate him after he awoke in an agitated state and was afraid of myself and the other pony assigned to look over him.” The nurse flashed an awkward smile to the princess, trying her best to comfort the worried look on Luna’s face. “Don’t worry, princess, he will be just fine after some more rest. We were merely concerned he might have hurt himself in his panic.”
“Thank you.” Luna breathed a slight sigh of relief.
“I should be getting back in case something else happens, your highness,” Soothing Song bowed before turning to exit the throne room, once more leaving the princess to the silence of her thoughts.
Why would this pony act in such a strange way? Surely he would be thankful and glad to be in caring hooves? Perhaps I could visit him, it’s not like anypony will miss me here… Luna stood up on her hooves, having quickly made up her mind.
“Guards, I will be leaving for Canterlot Memorial. I do not require an escort; I will make the trip on my own. You are all dismissed for this shift.”
The half dozen Lunar Stallion positioned around the large room quickly nodded. They were used to the younger princess going off in the middle of the night on her own. Not to mention, silently happy about getting off work a few hours early.
“Very well then, I shall see you all the next night.” Luna said as she strode over to the doors, and out towards the city.
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Luna soared through her night as swift as an arrow and silent as a barn owl. The hospital was quickly coming into view. She located the window she believed that led to her destination, and silently opened it with a flick of magic and landed inside.
It was dark and silent in the room as the princess silently strode off to her objective. She looked over the unicorn as he lied partially under the covers, and was tossing and turning in his sleep; his eyes clenched shut and face contorted in pain. Luna blinked and continued to watch him for a few moments, curious as to what could be bothering the poor pony.
After a few minutes of silently arguing with her consciousness, she decided to delve into the unicorn’s dream and seeing what was the source of his fears. She felt an almost academic desire to know more, and right now there was only one way she could do it. The princess of the night drew in a quick breath, and closed her eyes, joining her consciousness with that of the sleeping stallion.
It seemed…’chaotically disorganized’ was the best phrasing Luna could describe it as inside the dream. She stood in a mostly white area that seemed to stretch endlessly. It was like no other dream realm she had ever seen before. All around here were large, floating shards of glass easily the size of herself. Most of them were clear and revealed nothing, except for one as Luna glimpsed something on the other side of one near her position. Curious, she walked over to one and followed it as it slowly spun on an invisible axis. She was surprised to see something was happening inside of the glass, almost like a portal to some event. She watched with great curiosity.
She saw some strange creature standing in the middle of a black, hard packed soil with evenly-spaced yellow lines in the middle. The creature was seemingly tall, with a strange pink and white color of skin. She noted it stood on two legs and had two arms coming from its upper body, ending in hands and fingers.
Odd… is this some strange form of dragon? They are sometimes bipedal. Luna thought to herself as she continued to watch the creature.
Suddenly these strange enclosed, metal carriages sped past the creature and spun it around, giving Luna a better look at it. Atop its head was brown curly hair, and covering the top half of its legs were some white, loose clothing of some sort that had an assortment of pockets. Its torso wore what Luna surmised to be a light garment that covered the entirety of its chest and arms, but left the hands bare.
The strange metal contraptions were getting closer and closer to the creature, each one got louder and closer as the fearful subject barely dodged them. Luna could make out basic details in the ‘carriages’ as they passed her viewpoint. They were mostly smooth from the front to the back, and were as tall as the chest of the panicking creature. At the front and back of each metal carriage were identical pairs of dark windows, obscuring anything within from view. Luna noted strange black wheels that propelled these along their speeding course.
The bipedal being jumped to the side and barely avoided being run over by the vehicle. As it picked itself up off the ground another vehicle quickly sped up and was on a direct collision course with it. It must have known it would never move in time as it raised its arms in defense and screamed a blood-curdling noise.
Suddenly the glass pane Luna watched the scene from shattered and the pieces defied gravity and floated away towards the ‘sky’.
“Well, this is most unusual. What is happening to this pony—?” The alicorn was interrupted by some sound not far away. She turned her head to see another scene in a nearby floating shard of glass. She quickly trotted over to see what would happen this time.
It was the same creature from before, wearing the same clothing and looking the same as before. What is this pony’s fascination with this strange being? Luna silently wondered. The scene before her was much different. The bipedal creature stood on a ledge and a blue sky dotted with a few clouds were behind it. Its arms were raised in what looked like some sort of begging position. Luna’s view panned over to what the creature was looking at. In front of it were three similar, though very different beings.
One was a darker skin and had no hair and was not as tall as the one before. The ones on either side of it were also different. One was significantly skinnier than the others and had long black hair that went down to its chest. The other was a pink color and had closely cropped hair that was a dark shade of brown. All three of these creatures were holding small, metal contraptions in their hands, directly pointed at the first being Luna saw.
She couldn’t make out what the small, dark metal objects were. They had a handle big enough for one of these creature’s hands and extended outwards a short distance. Why they were pointed menacingly at the creature on the ledge was beyond the alicorn. They did not appear to be dangerous at all, just oddly shaped, small pieces of metal, yet the subject of the nightmare seemed utterly terrified of them.
The thinner, pale creature on the left side of the trio said something Luna could not understand, directed at the one on the ledge. Its eyes went wide with fright as it slowly looked behind and below itself. Luna’s view panned over the side of the ledge. They were very high up in the air. More black roads and distant carriages sped far, far below them. The one standing on the ledge halfway dropped to its knees and seemed to take a begging tone of voice toward the trio in front of it. Luna suddenly heard an incredibly loud booming noise and saw a magical flash of fire from the tip of the object. A small wound simultaneously appeared in the center of the pleading creature’s torso, with a crimson liquid quickly pouring out. Its lip quivered and face contorted into silent, shocked horror.
The entity was wounded once more by the seemingly magical object. The sound was almost too loud for the princess, who lowered her ears and momentarily looked away, only to look back and see the wounded creature slowly falling backwards off the ledge. Luna silently watched as it toppled over the ledge, and fell the almost impossibly long distance to the ground, its arms and legs faintly flailing helplessly as a faint scream reached the top of the structure. Just before Luna saw the creature come in contact with the ground below, the glass pane she witnessed this event through shattered and quickly dissipated just like the other one showcasing the terrible fate of this being.
Luna continued a pattern like this for some time. Each time she would watch the same pale-skinned, curly haired creature be killed in some truly horrible way. He was hung, dropped off a cliff, brutally stoned, even set on fire before the alicorn couldn’t bare to watch it anymore.
Luna stepped back from the latest horrific scene and just tried to figure out all these strange scenes.
What is this pony’s fascination with this creature? Why are his dreams plagued with repeated, horrific deaths? The princess just couldn’t find any connection. Having decided she wouldn’t figure anything out by staying there, she left the dream realm and returned back to the hospital room.
The orange unicorn still had a pained look upon his face while he slept. Luna frowned at the sight, she felt bad for the poor pony. His dreams were too chaotic and disorganized she doubted she’d be able to help him even if she tried.
Luna decided it would be best for her to leave and let the object of her curiosity get some more rest.
I’ll come back and see him in a few hours, he may be awake by then. The princess of the night quickly opened the window and took back to the skies, forgetting to shut the window on her way out. Little did she know, that he would be very much awake upon her return.
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Celestia had woken a few minutes earlier than she usually did this particular morning. Knowing this, the princess decided to simply lie in her bed for a while; silently enjoying the comfort. A knock was heard at her bedroom door, interrupting her ecstasy. Most ponies assume Celestia was a morning pony, she was not. She enjoyed little more than your average pony being woken up early.
“Come in,” The princess said after a moment to magically snap her mane back into its usual, tidy self. The door quickly opened to reveal Princess Luna, looking almost excited. “Lulu! How nice to see you. It’s been a few days since we’ve had time to talk,” Celestia stated with a warm smile, genuinely happy.
“Yes, I have been rather busy myself as well,” Luna remarked as she went over to the bed, stopping just short of actually getting on it. Celestia noticed her ears were somewhat splayed downwards, signaling there was something on the lunar princess’s mind.
“Is there something you wish to talk about? You seem… troubled, my dear sister,” The white alicorn moved aside and motioned with her wing for the younger princess to join her, which Luna quickly and happily accepted. She always did love snuggling up to her big sis.
“It is about that stallion I mentioned a few days ago. Do you remember?” Luna asked with an uneasy frown. Celestia immediately pushed her other thoughts aside, this was important.
“Yes? Have you heard anything about him? Is he going to be alright?” Celestia quickly asked.
“I was approached by a doctor early into my night, she told me he awoke in a highly agitated and nervous state and they were forced to sedate him. Don’t worry though, he’s…ok,” Luna slowly mouthed.
“Whatever do you mean by that? He wasn’t harmed, was he?” Celestia worriedly asked, her eyes wide.
“No, not physically at least,” Luna answered, shifting her hooves uncomfortably.
“I get the feeling you are leaving something out…” The solar alicorn trailed off.
“I…” Luna stuttered, unsure of how to proceed. “After I heard of the incident, I went to visit him. He was still asleep when I went there, though he seemed greatly pained,” Luna bit her lip, remembering what came next. “Out of curiosity, I entered the unicorn’s dreams to see what else I may learn about him, or his origins.”
“What did you find?” Celestia asked.
“It was… it was like no other mind or dreamscape I have seen before.” Luna rubbed her front hooves together, searching for the right words. “It was a place of countless nightmares, all of which ended in the death of some creature I could not identify. There were many unfamiliar things in that pony’s mind.”
“Perhaps the sedative the hospital staff used was to blame?” Celestia offered, slightly shrugging her shoulders.
“I know the minds of beings much more than you do, Tia. The drug that caused him to sleep can only cause the events of the nightmares, not the subject of them,” Luna corrected. “This creature, this… alien that is in this pony’s mind is not like anything I have seen or heard of before. I believe this stallion is insane, there is no other explanation, Tia.”
“Oh Luna, there is always an explanation,” Celestia wrapped her right wing around the lunar alicorn. “…we just have to find it is all.”
“Well…” Luna started. “The dreams weren’t all that happened…” Celestia gave her sister a puzzled look that slowly turned into a dirty smirk. “It wasn’t like that, Tia,” Luna lightly nudged her sister with a hoof in the abdomen. “I went back a few hours later to see if he was awake… and he was.”
“Really? What happened?” Celestia arched an eyebrow, surprised.
“He was… less than ecstatic at my presence, even attempting to jump from the fifth floor before realizing I wasn’t there to hurt him. It took quite some time, but a peaceful understanding came between us.”
“So, he told you who he was and where he came from I assume then?” Celestia asked, eager for an answer.
“Actually, when he spoke it was that strange language he spoke when I first found him. I tried communicating with pen and paper, but this only confused him more. The pony can’t even read our language!” Luna exclaimed.
“That is very peculiar indeed,” Celestia rubbed her hoof on her chin. “How did you and him ‘talk’ then?”
“Sign language mostly,” Luna answered before huffing to herself. “…it was not easy. But, that wasn’t the strangest part. The stallion did not seem to know he was even a unicorn. When I ‘questioned’ him why he wasn’t using magic, he seemed completely lost at the concept, as well as the horn atop his head.”
“So what you’re saying, Lulu, is there is a grown, adult unicorn who has no verbal communication skills within our comprehension whatsoever, can’t use magic, and wasn’t aware he even had a horn? Not to mention, no Cutie Mark?”
“Umm…” Luna trailed off at the question. “We know it sounds strange, but—“
“If it was any other pony but you, I wouldn’t believe them,” Celestia interrupted. Luna only stared at her sister, mouth agape.
“Thank you, it means a lot to me, Tia.” Luna nuzzled Celestia back and smiled to herself. After a few moments of quiet, content comfort between the princesses, the younger of the two spoke. “What is going to be done about this unicorn? He does not seem dangerous… just confused, from what I could tell.”
“Perhaps I could meet him after raising the sun?” Celestia offered. “I may have an idea or two to improve the situation, and answer some of the questions raised by our guest.
“Is that really a wise decision? Leaving the castle for your own curiosity?” The lunar alicorn asked.
“I could ask you the same thing, my dear Luna,” Celestia countered with a smirk. “Besides, I’m confident Equestria will be fine without its princess’s for one hour at the most.”
“If you say so, Tia. I shall meet you for breakfast after you raise your sun, then we can leave for the hospital,” Luna said as she got up from the bed and stretched her wings.
“A sound plan. I will see you soon, Luna.” And with that, Celestia watched her younger sister depart, leaving her alone for a few moments before raising the sun and bringing forth the day.
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The princesses walked through the automatic opening door of the hospital and were met with the warm, comforting rays of the sun. Having just learnt about their peculiar guest through their first ‘real’ conversation, both alicorns were in pretty high spirits as they walked through Canterlot.
“Tia, if I may ask you something?” Luna looked to her side, seeing her sister nod. “How did you do that spell earlier? I wasn’t aware you could do that.”
“Oh? It was just a little trick I picked up back before the griffons adopted our language,” Celestia answered nonchalantly. “Perhaps I will teach it to you sometime.”
“We see…” Luna trailed off, looking down at the street in thought. They both continued walking for a few minutes in silence before she spoke up again. “I have another question, Tia. Do you really believe ‘Edward’s’ story, that he’s a… ‘human’?” Luna disbelievingly asked.
“I will admit, it is a strange tale, but I believe him,” Celestia replied. “I take it you are not so easily convinced?” She asked, looking over to the skeptical princess.
“At first, I thought he was a changeling, but when I touched my horn to his, I found no evidence of their filthy influence,” Luna stated, not bothering to look back at Celestia with her answer. “He may be a pony, but I still do not believe his story. An alien from another world coming here? It is a preposterous idea!” Luna frowned.
“Have stranger things not happened before, dear Luna?” Celestia questioned. “The crystal civilization disappeared for more than a thousand years. Entities like Discord have survived millennia encased in stone, and we both control celestial bodies many countless miles away while being nearly immortal…” She trailed off, letting the facts sink in. “You yourself viewed his dreams and saw these aliens with your own eyes. Is it really too difficult to believe such a being stumbled into our world of magic?” Celestia asked the skeptical princess.
“I…” Luna trailed off once more, trying to formulate a response. “I do admit the dreams would be proof enough for most, but they were not beyond what an insane mind could conjure. I do believe him when he says he is not naturally a pony, but he is natural to this world,” Luna slightly huffed and pointed her muzzle towards the sky.
“Are you really so certain?” Celestia raised an eyebrow at her younger sibling.
“I am sure. This is simply not possible,” Luna nodded while still looking forward, seeing the castle growing closer and closer with each step.
“Oh, Luna,” Celestia rolled her eyes and brought her wing over her sister’s side, stopping them in the street. “There is still much to learn of our own world, even for us,” Celestia smirked. “I will make a deal with you, if you will listen.”
“A ‘deal’? What kind of deal do you speak of, Tia?”
“Do you remember how I told him you would search for his family whilst I find him a home?” Celestia asked.
“Yes, you were quick to appoint me such a difficult task,” Luna grumbled as they both resumed walking towards the castle.
“It is no secret you have already grown bored of your nightly duties, you could use a vacation,” Celestia genuinely smiled, earning a positive look from her younger sister. “Now, back to the deal I spoke of. If you do not find sufficient proof to convince you he is a human, then I will both find him a home, and find his family if they are here. You win either way, Luna,” Celestia smirked. She always knew just what to say to get her stubborn sibling to do something.
Luna thought over the terms of their agreement for a few long moments, eventually turning and stopping in the middle of the street once more. “You have a deal, Tia. But what if he does prove dangerous? And it was our fault he ever left the hospital?” She worriedly asked.
“Do not worry, he won’t harm anypony unless he is forced to do so,” Celestia confidently smiled.
“How can you be so sure?” Luna curiously asked.
“While I was performing my language spell, I performed, another…” Celestia slightly trailed off. “It is a variation of your natural dream abilities; it allows me to read a pony’s heart when I touch my horn to their bodies. It’s funny really, my language spell could have been cast from across the room,” Celestia chuckled to herself and turned back towards the castle, leaving a confused alicorn a few steps behind her.
“You… read their hearts?” Luna disbelievingly asked. “Pray tell, how does that even work?”
“It’s simple to explain, but complicated to perform. Essentially it lets me read a pony’s, or any sentient creature’s true intent, or motives.” Celestia stated, quite proud of herself for creating such a powerful spell on her own.
“That… is that even legal?” Luna asked, still trying to grasp the concept of ‘heart reading’.
“Well… technically nopony besides you and I know about it, so I really don’t have an answer for you,” Celestia shrugged. “I never thought about it. I haven’t had to use the spell for quite some time, I usually forget about it.”
“Fair enough,” Luna simply said, noticing they were both nearly at the castle now. “Tia? How do you suggest I go about finding the proof I require?”
“Infiltrate his dreams once more, and do not leave until you are thoroughly satisfied,” Celestia simply replied.
“Do you really think that will work, Tia?” Luna cocked an eyebrow. “I did not learn much last time…”
“We could always have him dragged off to the torture chamber instead,” Celestia smirked along with a slight chuckle. “It hasn’t been used in far too long.”
“Er… I would prefer to not harm the stallion without good reason, dear sister.” Luna cast a somewhat worried look. Sometimes her sister’s jokes were a bit disturbing.
“Very well then. If you will excuse me, I shall go and make living arrangements for Edward then,” Celestia opened her wings, about to take off.
“Wait!” Luna called, just stopping her sister in time. “Where do you plan on him staying? At the castle?”
“Oh no, I had somewhere much different in mind,” Celestia winked as she took off and hovered a few feet off the ground. “And I know just the pony to watch after him.” She smiled once more before turning and flying off towards her tower. Luna watched her sister go, letting their conversation replay in her mind and sink in.
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“But… but you Pinkie Promised you’d be there, Twilight!” The pegasus’s wings flared in exclamation.
“I’m sorry, Rainbow, but something has come up and I can’t go. I’m sorry,” Twilight frowned to the pegasus across her living room while she packed a few things in her saddlebag. Twilight promised to go with the rest of the girls to The Wonderbolt’s 300th Anniversary Air Show! a month ago. In all honesty, the librarian saw the event as nothing but a way to earn money.
“Well…” Rainbow Dash trailed off, letting her wings fall limp at her sides. “Can I at least know why you can’t come?” The pegasus pleaded. “You already sent Spike off to Rarity’s, can’t I know at least?”
“Rainbow, I…” Twilight stuttered, quickly glancing over to her desk where a partially rolled scroll lay, next to her half-eaten dinner. She shut her eyes for a moment, remembering a line from the letter. Remember Twilight, this is a matter that may jeopardize national security, come alone, and tell nopony.
That sentence repeated in the unicorn’s head dozens of times since she’d read it. “I’m terribly sorry, Rainbow, but I don’t really even know. Princess Celestia herself said it was urgent and I needed to be in Canterlot immediately.” Twilight nodded affirmatively. “You’ll tell the others, won’t you?”
“Fine,” Rainbow Dash huffed and turned towards the front door to her friend’s home, hesitating as soon as she opened it. “Just, be careful whatever it is,” Rainbow called over her shoulder to the packing unicorn. “I don’t want to have to leave the show early tomorrow to come save your flank.” She finished with a playful smile before lifting off and soaring into the sky.
“Phew, glad that’s over,” Twilight smiled to herself before packing the rest of her bags, placing the scroll from Celestia in a side pocket.
Oh, who am I trying to fool? I feel horrible for going back on my Pinkie Promise, even if it was something important... Twilight’s eyes went wide in epiphany. Oh Celestia no, I have to break a Pinkie Promise... may that party pony have mercy on my soul... She stared at the wall for a few moments, her mind conjuring all the torturous acts her pink friend would surely inflict upon her.
Twilight shook her head after a few moments, dispelling the unpleasant thoughts.
She ran up to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, making sure she was at least presentable. Running down the stairs, she glanced at the clock and nearly felt her heart stop.
If I don’t leave now I won’t make the train! Twilight internally panicked before quickly grabbing her bags and simultaneously closing and locking the front door. She ran down the street as quickly as her hooves would carry her, irritated by the fact she couldn’t teleport at the moment.
Of course I had to be practicing an actual age spell all day when I got the letter, now I’m not going to have hardly any magic for the rest of the night... Twilight sourly thought to herself as the train station came into view. She levitated some bits out of her saddlebag as she approached the ticket counter, practically yelling at the poor pony behind the booth.
“One evening express ticket to Canterlot!”
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
The princess of the night glided over Canterlot, being silhouetted by her moon that had risen to the center of the sky. She followed the path she had previously taken to the hospital, and Edward’s room.
If we keep leaving during the night like this, my guards may become suspicious. She thought to herself as the familiar building came into view. Just like the night before, she silently flicked the window open with her magic and stealthily landed inside. Luna looked over to see Edward sleeping, somewhat more peacefully than the previous evening, but still uncomfortable looking.
Luna drew in a breath and let her consciousness travel over to the sleeping stallion’s mind. After a few moments of darkness, she felt around for the dreaming part of his thoughts, she materialized in mid-air with no ground beneath her hooves. With a startled yelp, the dream-walking princess quickly unfurled her wings and steadied herself before seeing her surroundings.
There were only dark, motionless clouds above her and a seemingly endless expanse of water below her. Luna noted distant flashes of lightning off in the distance. Seeing as how those were the only remarkable things within her view, she quickly took off in their direction.
After a quick flight, Luna arrived in the middle of a terrible storm, the winds threatening to send her into the roiling depths below.
Wait… this sounds familiar. He said something about a storm that caused him to come to Equestria. Perhaps he is around here somewhere…
Luna carefully lowered her altitude, looking for any poor ponies trapped in this dark place. It did not take long before some distant noises caught her attention. She quickly found the source of the distressing sounds… it was the same mysterious creature she had seen before.
The princess could scarcely believe her eyes.
This pony must be insane to still be dreaming of this pink, fleshy being. Time to get some answers. I will not just stand by and watch this time!”
Luna dived through the air and stopped just short of the swimming creature, its face white with fear.
“Halt! Who are you? Why does the stallion in the real world continue to dream of you?” The princess shouted to be heard above the sounds of thunder and crashing waves. The creature ignored her and continued swimming, occasionally slipping beneath the surface before returning to the tiring exercise.
“We ask again… Who are you!?” Luna demanded once more. When she did not receive a reply, she flew in front of the creature in an attempt to at least be acknowledged by its eyes. “Do you even hear me?” She asked, once again eliciting no response from the still-swimming being.
Curious, Luna carefully flew even lower and closer to the creature and stuck her hoof out, trying to get its attention by a touch to the shoulder. The princess silently gasped when her hoof passed through the creature’s body as if it were not even there. She withdrew her hoof and tried again and again, each time she passed right through the being.
Wait… something is not right here. Luna flapped her wings to gain a few feet of altitude. She closed her eyes and concentrated her magic, feeling the air around her. Luna quickly opened her eyes at the surprising discovery.
This is not a dream… this is the pony’s actual, unaltered memories! The princess looked back down to the swimming, bipedal creature with her mouth agape in shock. She continued to stare as the being grew noticeably tired, his movements becoming slow and lazy.
He… he was really telling the truth the whole time… Luna focused her magic once more, and in a blink of her eyes, was back in the hospital room. She took a step back from the bed in disbelief. Oh, what this poor soul must have gone through… Luna silently gasped to herself. After a few moments of letting the facts sink in.
“Tia was right the whole time...” Luna quietly whispered to herself before flying out the window and latching it shut. She had a sister to see, and admit her suspicions of simple insanity were false.
<><><><><><><>
Twilight nearly vaulted off the train as soon as it pulled up to the Canterlot station. She’d hardly slept during the night, too worried about Celestia’s letter. As was reflected by her untidy mane and tale, coupled with an occasional twitch of her left eye. She glanced over her side to make sure her bags were secure, and took off towards the castle.
Having been born and raised in the Equestrian capital, it didn’t take her long at all to find the shortest, most efficient route to the castle. Twilight saw a few ponies along her route who recognized her and offered a polite greeting or a friendly wave.
“Sorry can’t talk gotta go bye!” Was all most of them managed to hear as she continued along her speeding journey. Twilight was so focused on the task at hoof, she didn’t notice as a white unicorn with a red mane with violet highlights stepped right in her path. She collided with the white mare in a surprising, though thankfully not painful, heap of tangled limbs.
“I’m so sorry!” Twilight apologized as she righted herself and offered a hoof to the pony she’d run into. Of all the ponies she could have run into, she never expected to see this particular mare’s face looking up at her. “Moondancer?” Twilight slowly asked, almost thinking an illusion spell was at play.
“Hey Twilight,” Moondancer greeted, her similarly-shaded violet eyes met Twilights, whose were brimming with surprise. “I wasn't’ expecting to bump into you today, well, not quite so literally.” She laughed and used her magic to pick up her friend’s saddlebag and quickly deposit it on her back. “So, what brings you to Canterlot? I heard you moved to Ponyville,” Moondancer asked with a tilt of the head, her red and violet mane slightly falling off to the side.
“I’m here to see Princess Celestia,” Twilight replied while making doubly sure her bags were secure this time. “I’m kinda in a rush, actually...” She trailed off, glancing towards the now nearby castle gates.
“Oh, ok then,” Moondancer frowned and looked slightly down to the street. Twilight looked at the downtrodden mare in front of her, feeling a familiar feeling of guilt. Suddenly, Moondancer perked up and seemed her usual cheery self. “Well, make sure to come and visit me sometime!” She smiled and resumed her walk down the street. “Oh, and bring Spike too!” The mare called, although her lavender friend was already a fair distance away by the time she turned back around.
Twilight ran up to the golden gates that separated Canterlot from the entrance to the throne room. The Solar Stallions quickly opened the gate with their magic upon seeing who was running towards them, not slowing the unicorn down in the slightest except for a quick ‘thank you’.
The guards in front of the massive throne room doors weren’t as quick to let Twilight through. They gave the untidy unicorn in front of them a curious glance before one of them spoke up.
“We’re sorry, Lady Sparkle, but the princesses are not in at the moment,” The bleached-white pegasus stated in a honed, flat voice.
“Oh,” Twilight’s ears fell flat, not expecting to be stonewalled like that.
This makes no sense! Why wouldn’t Princess Celestia be here?
“However,” The other guard pony started. “We were given instructions to escort you to the royal study if Her Highness was not present during your arrival.” This instantly raised Twilight’s spirits.
“Thank you sirs, but you don’t need to escort me, I know where it is,” Twilight beamed as she took a step off towards a corridor, before a white wing shot open and blocked her path. She looked over to see the guards giving her their usual, emotionless face.
“Be that as it may, it is protocol that somepony of your importance be given escort, Please follow us, Lady Sparkle,” One of them stated before they both took positions in front of their temporary VIP. The guard on Twilight’s right let out a quick, sharp whistle. Almost instantly two unicorns flashed out of thin air, and took the pegasi guards place where they were before.
Security is really tight nowadays... Twilight silently thought to herself as she followed the Solar Stallions in front of her. Surprisingly, they were quick in their task of escorting the Equestrian hero to her destination, getting her there nearly as fast as if she were on her own.
They arrived at a set of perfectly polished, wooden double doors at the end of a long corridor. Twilight was quite familiar with the room, the princess had let her study there when the library was closed or she needed help. It surprised her there weren’t any guards posted outside the doors like before.
That’s strange. Did Celestia order them away? Twilight thought before her guards quickly turned and left her alone momentarily. She knocked on the door and slowly went inside, noting the somewhat dark atmosphere.
“Ah, Twilight Sparkle,” A voice called out, causing her to jump. suddenly all the lights in the room lit and the shades lifted, revealing Princess Luna lying comfortably on a couch.
“Oh, hello Princess,” Twilight smiled, her adrenaline tapering off from just before. She took a few steps further into the room, letting a momentary feeling of nostalgia take her over.
“How many times must We tell you,” The princess chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Call us Luna, Twilight.”
“Sorry, Pr—Luna,” Twilight sheepishly smiled. “I’m here to see Celestia, do you know where she is?”
“Ah yes, she is at the hospital,” Luna replied as if it were nothing.
What. That statement had set off nearly every alarm in Twilight’s mind. Anypony looking from the outside would have noticed a totally blank expression as what she heard registered.
“Celestia’s in the hospital!?” Twilight shouted, her mind still racing. “What happened to her? Is she going to be ok? Is she—.”
“We did not mean it like that, Twilight,” Luna quickly interjected, she’d heard what the violet unicorn’s mental breakdowns could do to her health, not to mention anypony within a 5 mile radius. “Celestia is visiting the hospital,” She comforted in a soothing voice as she stood up from the couch and walked over to the distressed mare.
“Why do you need to see her though?” Luna quizzically asked.
“She sent me this letter yesterday...” Twilight used a bit of her magic to bring the scroll she’d received the prior day from her bags. “...and said I needed to be here as soon as possible for an urgent matter of national security!” She finished my floating the letter over to Luna, who quickly took it and scanned its contents.
“Oh... oh! We see...” The princess mumbled to herself as she continued reading. After a few moments, a surprised look surfaced on her face as her eyes went back and forth between the scroll and Twilight. “It would seem Tia has... ‘chosen’ you for an important task, the nature of which I do not feel at liberty to discuss.”
“What are you talking about?” Twilight was baffled. “I was chosen for something about the security of the country?”
“About that...” Luna bit her lip as she thought of the best way to explain. “It seems my sister may have intentionally exaggerated on some aspects of your unexpected trip. It is important, Twilight, but she felt you needed to be in Canterlot as soon as possible.”
Celestia, tricked me?
“Why would she do that?” Twilight slowly asked, still letting it sink in.
“Like was said before, she wanted you here as quickly as possible, so she... altered the facts of the matter to, speed things up?” Luna shrugged. “I wish more could be said here, but I am not the one to tell you.”
“...but I am not the one to tell you.” Those words repeated through Twilight’s mind, trying to discern some meaning from them.
“Is it about my brother? Are my parents ok? Is something wrong with Cadan—!”
“Twilight, calm thyself,” Luna laid a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Everypony is fine, nopony is hurt,” she comforted, eliciting a relieved sigh from her violet friend.
“I guess I should be getting to Celestia then?” Twilight smiled a bit sheepishly. “But I don’t know where she’ll be exactly... the Canterlot hospital is the largest in Equestria!” She exclaimed, feeling a miniature panic attack beginning to brew.
“She will be in room sixty-two on the fifth floor,” Luna informed.
“Thanks, Luna. Well, I’ll get going so I can see what she needed then,” Twilight turned back to the door and took a step forward before turning to say goodbye. “It was nice seeing you again.” And with that, she turned to leave once more.
“Wait!” The princess said, stopping Twilight in her tracks. She stared at her friend for a few moments, mentally debating the best course of words for the next thing she would say. “Perhaps you should brush your mane before leaving?” Luna smiled sheepishly while summoning a brush. The two shifted their gaze to Twilight’s disheveled mane, stray ends going every which way.
“Perhaps you’re right.”
<><><><><><><>
After a quick, but desperately needed moment for herself, Twilight happily trotted to Canterlot Memorial. Her mane, tail and coat were all back to their normal selves. She was glad Luna suggested she brush herself before departing. Twilight certainly didn’t want her mentor and friend seeing her in such a frazzled state a second time.
Twilight trotted up the decorated walkway that led up to the main entrance. She’d only visited here a few times but was relatively familiar with it. She was heading up the stairs before she decided to simply teleport herself to the top of the landing to the fifth floor. Twilight opened the door and stepped out into a hallway teaming with various hospital staff.
She saw a sign pointing to the direction of the sixty and seventy block of rooms, and promptly followed it until she came to where she needed to be. Twilight had a strange, almost unnoticeable feeling something was ‘off’ in the air around her as she reached the proper entryway, but shrugged it off as exhaustion. She focused her magic on the door and enveloped it in her signature colored aura, quickly opening it and allowing her to catch the tail-end of her mentor’s voice from the room within, speaking to somepony else.
“... Twilight Sparkle.”
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Please read this comment, it contains vital information... if you don't, Fluttershy will be sad
Here is a really quick list of suspected FAQ's from readers that relate to this specific chapter. (no spoilers, so you can read this comment first, if you so wish.)
1."How many will there be/how often will you have these interlude chapters?" I plan on them after every 4th (give or take) chapter in Edward's point of view.
2. "Wait! Does that mean the story is already 1/4 of the way through?!?!?" Nonsense! This story is going to be at least 80K words, possibly even 120K or moar! Trust me, this is only the beginning
3. "When will next update be?!?!?" A lot of you ask me this and it should be pretty darn quick just like the chapters before this were. This one only took a while cause... ya know, the holiday season is a busy one with little time for writing
Plus, this chapter was really difficult to put together. I nearly had a Twilight T-level disaster trying to organize everything. There are a ludicrous amount of things to keep in mind with this story. I had to tread very carefully with this one
Seriously, there's a lot of things I have to make sure connect and fit with past/future scenes as seamlessly as possible. It is very tedious and difficult, but the quality speaks for itself
4. "Why aren't you using that awesome new 'author's notes' feature we just got?" Because it's buck-ugly.
5. "Woah! What's with that crazy new line break you're using between scenes???" Well, since the new text-shading options, the default horizontal rule Fimfiction had (and I used) is difficult to see in the "Medium Light" option, and I didn't want those people (like me
) to have difficulty seeing them. This is just an attempt to help the readers better tell the difference between scenes
6. WOAH! Where did you get the idea to bring [REDACTED] into the story?! Nobody ever writes about him/her! Is he/she going to play an important role in the story now!?!?" Where did you get the idea for his/her colors/breed!?!?!?? I've always wanted to bring [REDACTED] into a story, but couldn't really find a way for it to work without seeming overly forced. The character in question is little more than a slight shoutout, and he/she will only be in the scene above, and a few mentions much later in the story. I got the idea for his/her colors from 85% of the fanart having that same color scheme. So, I just ran with the idea like a madman, and that short run-in was the result
As per my usual fashion: I believe this chapter has stuck to my norm of bringing up 2 questions for every 1 answer
But don't worry, everything shall be explained at one time or another. It's all part of my Master Plan™ (Literally, that's the name of the file I use for TLAL's notes
)
A big thank you to my friends Azu and Darastrix for their help in pre-reading/editing and putting up with my impatience. Seriously, love you guys
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbB1sHOgZmSSIrMjAxMi8wOC8yMS8wNF8xMV80M183MTlfNzkwMjVfX1VOT1BUX18GOgZFVFsIOgZwOgp0aHVtYkkiDDI1MHgyNTAGOwZU/79025__safe_princess-celestia_cute_hug_cutelestia_irrational-exuberance_artist-parttimebrony.png
As usual, please, please, please comment. The more feedback I get about what people like, the better the story will be!
1857895
Holy wall of text, Batman! That's probably my longest comment ever!
Well, I'm liking this so far
I'm just eagerly waiting for the romance part to kick in
Thanks for a great fic, mate!
1899698
It'll start in the next chapter. But seeing as how this will be quite a lengthy story, expect it to be slow development, but a nice kind of slow
My first question would be, are you aware that the text suddenly goes into full italic around the half?
As for reviewing this story, it was not as smooth as i wanted but i agree that this would be a hard chapter to write so nothing on that.
There were a few times i was a little bit confused but nothing major.
I had a fun time reading this chapter and i am eagerly awaiting for more.
Happy writing and happy new year.
Alright, I'll roll with this. Still trying to figure out the foreshadowing, though.
1899736
The one time I forgot to check
Thank you soooooo much for pointing that out
What were the points you were confused at? I might be able to help
1899752
It was mostly about the days that had passed, i didn't really knew when that happend.
At the beginning of the story I was like
funny-pictures-blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/MEME-Slow-down.jpg
And now thanks to your comment 1899707 now i'm like
assets.diylol.com/hfs/f30/1e8/cfb/resized/suspiciously-evil-sloth-meme-generator-move-slow-kill-fast-21cc03.jpg
1899763
Oh
I guess I could have been a bit more clear about that
Again, thanks for pointing out the italics thing. When I write chapters the italics don't carry over so I manually have to do the [i*] bracket thing [/i*]
1899773
Yeah that's indeed a pain.
But yeah we can't really do a lot against it.
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
Ooo more, *can't think up of anything to say*. So Ill edit this sometime later, or add new comment entirely later on!
But I can say, good work and I can't wait til next chapter. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! (belated to both)
Liking the story, seems to be going in a well-paced manor. Wait. Used Wicca magic to turn into a dear? Oh shit, this is just the goddes following through with the magical request. Welp stories over.
Conscience perhaps?
I was in an editing mood. And damn this was long.
imageshack.us/a/img33/5764/likethischapter.jpg
1900968
Hehe... lemme' just uh, change those.
Thanks for having my back
Umm I kinda feel bad for this but I never favorited this story. Oops
1902370
wat
Just kidding
1902655
Don't worry I've favorited it
Please don't murder me
1899779 "one link to rule them all"
it's like 1/4 of the comment page.
1903139
Well a lot can be said with an image.
1902750
Murder you?
Oh ho ho ho ho..... I'll do much, much worse... I'll fire you
1903827
th03.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/i/2012/213/6/e/nooooooo______spike_by_toruviel-d59f478.jpg
wow.....
.........
this is nice
1910004
Why the sad face?
1910374oh God... i just read /hat last line then saw your pic...
1899744
Which foreshadowing were you thinking about before?
And sorry I got to your comment so late, thought I already asked
well lets see, Luna is bored as all hell of not doing nothing while in court, this young and new creature appear and got her attention, she apparently can't take him off her mind and now fell bad, because of his situation (I bet, she kind of understand, because is kind of banishment), and her sister just give her some vacations for as long as she want…yyeap, even if she was originally gay, this fellow just got her interesting, and he didn't even try, returning to his home or not, this man, forever will be remember in Equestria as the stallion that managed to turn a freaking goddess, and who now what will happen if he DO try to win her heart.
1922319
A most interesting deduction
I was wondering if people would think that exact same thing with Luna playing such a large part in his introduction to Equestria
But will the romance be between Edward and Luna? Or will another pony catch his eye? Only time will tell
And judging by how the next chapter is already at 4,815 words, it shall be very, very soon my friend
1922371
Awesome, and for the question, Will be a love triangle in his future? Will some power sibling will join the mix? Will this young fella will attract the eye of other species such an infamous griffin or some well renowned healer zebra? Only you will tell in time. (sorry I couldn't resist)
Anyway I can't wait to read how this story will progress
1922413
In response to your questions, I have compiled a short list of answers
(In order of asked)
Possibly.
Join the mix of a love triangle? Unlikely. Join the mix as a future character in the story? Absolutely!
Romance with a griffin or zebra or other non-pony? Unlikely, though possible.
1922453
To answer your question, I meant that she will have some attraction to him in some point, the part when she mention the pegazus without a cutie mark, make wonder if that was some clue that Edward wasn't the first human, that reach Equestria, and Celestia has something with same pegazus. Also, she maybe pretend a little to tease Luna, by…oh I don't know, kissing him or something (you do mention that she has an unusual sense of humor) thats all.
The first one I admit, have a huge problem, so is more unlike, but you get my point
1922505
You're quite the insightful one aren't you?
It's people like you who really think about a story I love to have comment
Of course I still like all the "This is a good story!" comments, but it's the conversations with people like you who really think about all the little things in a story I appreciate.
You... I like you
Also, Celestia kissing Edward? Kinda reminds me of this picture. <---- Totally random pony who just happened to look like him//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Celestia.png
Given the strong premise and promising first chapters, I dared to hope that this story could actually be a fresh take on the worn out Human in Equestria archetype. Sadly my hopes were dashed upon reading chapter three, where a convenient Deus ex machina brings the entire narrative back into horribly familiar territory. Retraining the aspect of a language barrier would have at least been an interesting spin. Without this key plot device, little new or daring can likely come of this.
A good effort, well writen and possibility started with the best intentions at heart, but beyond the blurb presents nothing we haven’t seen before. I shall keep watching for now, lest the so far entrancing writing vindicate your abandonment of a unique premise, but I’m afraid the thumbs down will remain ticked for the time being.
1927880
While I'm not exactly happy about it, I respect your opinion and am thrilled somebody actually had the courage to tell me why they downvoted my stories for once
1927891
Believe me when I say that this is no knock against your abilities as a writer, in fact I find your use of sinuous description within Luna’s dreamscapes to be quite enthralling.
But there was something great in that blurb that drew me to this tail. Something that screamed ‘I’m different!’ and dared one to think beyond the confining box placed around such fan fiction.
Perhaps it was a little harsh of me, but my frustration remains. Do keep up the good work though, from viewing numbers alone there are many who are hanging upon your every word and thoroughly enjoying themselves to boot
1928162
Thank you
If you ask my pre-reader, it could have been much, much worse though
Finding new stories is always fun and this is good so far.
I'm sorry I have to ask but...what in the world is he doing with his right eye in the cover pic? Did he have a stroke?
1931231
It's kind of a "derp" face
Well, Derp mixed with a healthy serving of WTF
Still, having Sinrar take the time to make it is still pretty cool, nobody really read this without a picture.
1928162>>1928171
You don't want to know... *eye twitch* I had to save him form hismelf
The irony is my HiE I will be writing will ahve a language barrier and maintain it for a good 80% of the story. I 'd Brony2893's idea, and wanted to take my shot at it. But due to his plotline, the barrier needed to be dropped.
1941711
Quiet you
I don't appreciate an empty dungeon, do not give me reason to fill it
An interesting way of showing what us the other side of things. Clever, I like it!!
Also, just out of curiosity, did you use Aegis Shields idea for the Lunar Guards enchantments? A lot of stories seem to be doing that recently.
Wait...
*rereads dreamscape description*
Since when did ponies have the technology to build an Animus?
so are ponies gonna be thinking the human race is not good enough from the get go soon from this guy? just asking it annoying how some bronies have no problem bashing there race and only point out the bad and never look at the good things it a repeated ignorant view all together hope this story doesn't fall for it.
2959649 Yeah.
“You know we are only interested in mares, Tia,”
Hello, hot character trait!
Ah usually hate interludes.
But ah think this one was decent. :P
Makes the earlier chapters seem less... not-nice.
TLAL, interlude chapter, looks like this is meant to explain events that occurred from one other than Edward’s point of view. Let’s see if some mysteries get solved or if he throws a whole lot more into a pile of “wtf” for us.
… “still fresh in her mind… and there” – Replace the ellipsis with a comma, as this section of the narrative is third-person, so the narrator shouldn’t be capable of pausing for dramatic effect.
… “as the shock registered she” – Place ‘that’ between ‘registered’ and ‘she’.
… “she did the first Sonic Rainboom even!” - … I won’t tell you this often, but… keep the shit-coated theories out of serious scenes like this, PLEASE!
… “earning an un-amused” – ‘unamused’ is a word, according to the Oxford dictionary.
… “a stallion lying unconscious in the middle of the ground!”” – Replace ‘in the middle of’ with ‘on’, as it doesn’t make sense as it stands.
… “And he spoke such a strange language” – Change ‘such’ to ‘in’.
… “That was a good thing you did, my sister.” – Please edit this to sound more genuine.
… “deadpanned with an un-amused” – Again, ‘unamused’ IS a word.
… “to the now leaving” – Place a hyphen between ‘now’ and ‘leaving’.
… “probably the one hundredth” – Place a hyphen between ‘one’ and ‘hundredth’.
… “The half dozen Lunar” – Place a hyphen between ‘half’ and ‘dozen’.
… “dozen Lunar Stallion positioned around” – ‘Stallion’ should likely be ‘Stallions’.
… “and seeing what was” – ‘seeing’ should be ‘see’.
… “seemed…’chaotically” – Remove the ellipsis, as it’s the narrator speaking. Also, the apostrophe should be facing the other way.
… “could describe it as inside the” – Remove ‘as’.
… “standing in the middle of a black” – Remove ‘a’.
… “black, hard packed soil” – Place a hyphen between ‘hard’ and ‘packed’.
… “these strange enclosed” – Place a comma between ‘strange’ and ‘enclosed’.
… “curly haired creature” – Place a hyphen between ‘curly’ and ‘haired’.
… “couldn’t bare to watch” – ‘bare’ should be ‘bear’.
… “Most ponies assume” – ‘assume’ should be ‘assumed’.
… “without its princess’s” – Assuming you mean ‘both’, ‘princess’s’ should be ‘princesses’.
… “leaving her alone for a few moments before raising the sun and bringing forth the day.” – I thought it would be a while longer before Celestia raises the sun, but it seems rather fast in terms of when it occurs, here…
… ““We see…” Luna trailed off” – Did you mean ‘We’ll see’, or “I see”?
… “While I was performing my language spell, I performed, another” – Doesn’t she mean ‘before’ she performed the spell? Also, remove the second comma.
… “read their hearts” – ‘their hearts’ should be ‘his heart’.
… “some time, I” – Replace the comma with a semicolon.
… “worried look. Sometimes” – Replace the period with a semicolon.
… “I’m sorry, Rainbow, but something has come up and I can’t go. I’m sorry” – Change the first ‘I’m sorry’ to ‘I know’.
… “and I needed” – Place ‘that’ between ‘and’ and ‘I’.
… “be careful whatever” – Place a comma between ‘careful’ and ‘whatever’.
… “went wide in epiphany” – Change ‘epiphany’ to ‘realization’.
… “an actual age spell” – Did you mean ‘aging’?
… “still uncomfortable looking” – Swap ‘uncomfortable’ and ‘looking’.
… “Luna silently gasped to herself. After a few moments of letting the facts sink in.” – That second sentence needs a proper ending of what happened after she let the facts sink in.
… “letter. As was” – Replace the period with a comma, and place ‘As’ in lowercase.
… “As was reflected by her untidy mane and tale” – ‘tale’ should be ‘tail’.
… “eyes met Twilights” – ‘Twilights’ should be ‘Twilight’s’.
… “I wasn't’ expecting to” – Remove the second apostrophe in ‘wasn't’’.
… “the now nearby” – Place a hyphen between ‘now’ and ‘nearby’.
… “Oh, ok then” – When used in a full sentence, ‘ok’ should be ‘okay’.
… “pegasi guards place” – ‘guards’ should be ‘guards’ ’.
… “room, the princess” – Replace the comma with a semicolon.
… “jump. suddenly all” – Change ‘suddenly’ to ‘Suddenly,’.
… “to be ok” – ‘ok’ should be ‘okay’.
… “within a 5 mile radius” – Single-numbers should be written as text, so ‘5’ should be ‘five’.
… “mare.
“Why do you need” – It’s the same speaker, so make it part of the same paragraph.
… “She finished my floating the letter” – ‘my’ should be ‘by’.
… “Are my parents ok?” – It’s not ‘ok’, it’s ‘okay’!
… “see what she needed then” – ‘needed’ should be ‘needs’.
… “hallway teaming with various” – ‘teaming’ should be ‘teeming’.
This is getting progressively interesting, though Celestia’s lie seemed pretty ridiculous. I mean, the idea of ‘national security’ is farfetched enough when there’s no easy means of information being sent to other parts of Equestria, let alone information getting out of Canterlot without the Princess allowing it.
Twilight’s actions seemed very cliché, like some anime-girl or something, rushing out of her home to catch a train, locating her mentor, running down halls and up streets, etc. Her character doesn’t seem to have much depth right now, but I’m hoping that changes as things continue with this story. The errors seemed much more prominent in her scenes as well, so I can also only hope you cared more for the writing in later chapters.
Celestia has a “reading hearts”-spell? Well, isn’t THAT convenient. Ugh… What the heck happened to just basic ‘trust’? This IS Equestria, after all, where once trust is broken, you’re pretty much banished in some way… or put into a stone statue… or whatever you wanna call it.
Celestia’s actions seemed pretty messed up, and her state at the beginning of the chapter as absent, but then trying to explain things away, make her even MORE suspicious, and this was the chapter meant to explain things for us! I already know we won’t get to go back to the past any time soon during this story, so… was that just a moment of “nothingness”? It’s a massive blemish when this chapter was meant to produce answers, rather than just more questions.
Luna’s scenes were very interesting, particularly how the dream sequence seemed so much stranger, with regards to it showing several dreams for one individual, rather than just one solid dream. The emphasis on death MIGHT mean something, or you just liked killing ‘yourself’ several times; hard to say which is the case. Celestia was just a means of answering questions with minimal insight, which was pretty much her entire purpose so far, so it doesn’t feel TOO strange compared to, say, how Twilight was portrayed. The Luna scenes just seemed so much more mature and refined than Twilight’s scenes, and that’s the biggest issue I had with this chapter.
Otherwise, well… let’s see what’s ahead!
i think celestia caused him to be brought here
stayclassy