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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yeah IRON WILL TEACHES.
Awesome world building
Interesting background you gave to AJ about norfolk blood running in her veins.
Iron Will is fun. He's an interesting blend of barbarian warrior, eccentric body builder, professional trainer with all the one liners too match, and a history/philosophy buff. I know it was ages ago, but I cracked up at that line about Ayn Rand and Nietzche. Anyway, that was an interesting diversion but I'm hoping for a more substantial chapter soon.
This fic is still going great, but I happened to notice a little discrepancy...
Iron Will must have some Norfolk magic to use chalk on a whiteboard...
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Wow. I love big comments like these!
Firstly, thank you kindly for giving my fic a chance--I love seeing fresh faces in the comments.
It's kinda funny that you mention how I'm sometimes overusing adjectives--I've always felt like I have a very bare bones writing style, so sometimes I go back and edit lines to have more flavor text because I feel like it's too dry. It almost sounds like I should just keep a lot of my stuff taciturn and blunt, haha.
Though it is a bit saddening knowing that it's not popular due to having two tags people don't like, and even worse in my view is that most of the humanized that gets exposure is either a 2nd person fic or a clop. Ah well, I'll just take heart in knowing that I'm doing a halfway decent job at making a humanized that doesn't have to rely on those gimmicks, I guess. Thanks again, and I'll try to keep up the good work!
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Don't worry, next chap is going live by Sunday at the latest, and it's got a bit of heft to it.
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...Wow. How did I miss that? Don't mind me, I'm just totally
i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee222/merc_the_jerk/pants-on-head-retarded_zpsd78b7164.jpg
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Probably really childish of me to say, but I flipped out when I saw my question amidst the others. Thanks for using it!
Man, I really do enjoy Iron Will This was a fun chapter and the little map on the whiteboard was a neat idea too.
All right, I've seen enough, Merc. I've stood all I can stand, and I can't stands no more!
STOP.
DOING.
THIS.
Is Jack being a tall woman important in the context of this sentence? Does Jack being blonde have anything to do with her sleeping patterns?
No.
Don't put in these descriptors. They're fluff. They up your word count and clutter up a sentence when all you really need to say is "Jack", "she", or "her". Only include details of her person when it's relevant.
This announcement brought to you by the Pronoun Society. Pronouns. Fucking use them.
That was a great change of pace Merc...and I feel so bad for getting behind in this story. Curse you IRL responsibilities!!
But anyway, you keep mentioning 2nd person writing. Now, I'm pretty sure that what your talking about, and what I'm thinking about are two completely different things. Mostly, because 2nd person is used for writing cook-books and instruction manuals not stories. Any chance you can provide an example so I can see why you hate it so much?
I want Iron Will to be my teacher because of reasons.
Hooray for world building!
Dude. Iron Will is slowly getting into being my fave teacher in this story. It was sad to hear about his wife.
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In a way that's not hard. He's the only teacher that's gotten any development or characterization beyond a sentence or two.