Interlude
'Dear sister... I want to see you so badly... You don't understand how I miss you...' I thought as the door finally closed. The mare finally left, and I was once again left alone with other teachers in the same kind of fashion as what happened earlier...
"May I ask, why do you think she can be trusted with this?" Orion asked me with his brow raised.
Why indeed... I think I don't have a choice right now, there are things in motion that might lead to something great... And 'this' happening was not one of them.
"Master Orion, I understand your concerns, but my decision is final. There are things I need to focus on, and that filly... Is not what I need right now, but I can't risk anything regarding this... Her development." I said, looking out of the window, observing the filly with her mother leave the premises of the school.
'It's not always an easy choice, but always the right one...' I thought.
A thousand years of waiting... Why now?
"I will be leaving now, I think I already have twenty-four students selected. Thank you all for being so nice to allow me this, while I can't share details regarding this, it's really important." I said, looking at the teachers who even though they were tired, smiled at me.
Everything I do, I do for you... my little ponies.
"Emmm... Your Majesty, one last thing... Your appearance?" Crystal Glass, History teacher commented.
Oh, right. Old age finally caught up to me, huh? Or is it the rush of emotions today has brought?
"Of course. Thank you my little pony." I said, shifting the spell and dropping the illusion of Strict Quill.
Sometimes I wish I could stay like that... Be free to think, and act however I want... But alas... Being a princess comes with a cost, that cost is making the right decisions, and most of the time, it's the opposite of what you want to do.
"I will take my leave. I shall see you at the opening ceremony in a week." I smiled, as they bowed and collected their notes before leaving.
Do they really need to bow every single time? I'm a headmistress here... I should really think of a law that forces them to treat me like one... At least foals don't bow...
Right... Foals...
Now I have to sort their references and sign them into groups... If only I could just focus on Twilight...
After teleporting back to my room, I took the exams to my desk, making sure to separate them into three piles. First were those who were simply good enough. Then there were exceptions. And then... Those two...
Everything needs to be perfect if I am to succeed in ten years... Twilight needs to learn, discover herself, and make friends. I have to see where I can find five potential candidates...
I dismissed everything and everyone for the evening. I want to make sure I have a backup plan, I don't want a second Sunset Shimmer... Even though I wish she would come back one day... It's been two years already...
No... I can't think of that right now. The plan was good, the problem lay in executing it. I already corrected those mistakes, and this time it will work... It has to...
Looking into the first exams, it became rather obvious that there were some more brilliant foals this year, but they lacked skill in time management, and only a few got to the seventh question. None however got any correct answers in the last ten, even if they cared to look there. Disappointing.
Every ten years, I change the format. Searching for some kind of basis I could grow another generation on, I want everyone to be brilliant schoolers and scientists, but often those who lack vision even at a young age, stay in the same place all their lives. I need to change my ways of teaching every so often, to make sure they expand their knowledge and use their creativity.
The last sixty years were... Not great... No major advancements, not a single new culture forming... Hopefully, this time there will be different results...
Who am I kidding... Every ten years, I make questions easier and easier... And somehow, the score stays the same... The last ten questions haven't been changed for the last hundred years, and no one could answer all of them even once since then.
I feel like I'm making my ponies more stupid... But at the same time... Safe...
It's just an illusion. A lie to make them think I'm making sure that they are all brilliant, cared for, equal... And while I'm trying to do that... It's still a lie.
I know I can't compare my ponies to those who lived hundreds or thousands of years ago but... They lack instincts. They live comfortably all their lives. But they don't realize the world hasn't changed that much outside Equestria.
Everywhere you look, North, South... Even across the sea in Griffonia(*) the world is still covered in blood and gore. Creatures live poorly and without the magic of harmony.
For how long can I keep this up?
What would I do if the Griffonian Empire attacked right now? They already showed their aggression in the past, raiding villages, making me sign treaties that don't benefit Equestria... And their recent actions towards border patrol...
How long can I hold the peace? How long till I have to take my spear in my hoof again, strike and kill...
No...
I can't think like this. Believe in harmony, believe in magic... Believe in Twilight...
She will succeed, she will defeat Nightmare Moon. And she will become a princess. I just need to stick to my plan. Everything will work out. I can delay, I can adapt. Everything will be fine.
I looked down at the 'exception' pile. Tender Seed, Shining Scarlet, Cloud Skip, Top Shot, Soft Hooves, Moon Dancer. Those few have either good scores or were clever enough to answer at least one or more questions for the ten points correctly.
Tender Seed... Even though he has good magic handling and a decent score, he definitely has anger issues, his actions in the kindergarten speak for themselves. I will need to make sure he doesn't create problems during off-school hours.
Shining Scarlet... I feel like she doesn't want to be here... Perhaps her mother forced her to apply? I will try to make her plan easy so she can adapt well and learn to love being at CSFGU.
Cloud Skip is the only foal that managed to lift more than a hundred balls into the air. Definitely should keep an eye on that one. She could prove like a good asset later on.
Top Shot. Very cocky, and will need a lesson about losing early in his education. But other than that, he will definitely become one of the best students this year. If he is as good in magic as he is in alchemy, he will become one of the best in the field.
Soft Hooves... That filly has potential, but she is scared of others' opinion of her. I will need to reach out to her personally, invite her to speak up, and try to make friends, it would definitely be good to persuade Twilight to be her friend... Or is it still too early for that?
Moon Dancer... Dancer's family has been scientists for over seven hundred years, I believe that won't change since she had the third-best score on the test.
Stamping their files, I looked at the clock. It was already late, and I only had a little more time before I had to lower the sun, however... There's still one pony I need to... Inspect...
I moved the Twilight file to the side and focused on the one in front of me.
Aurora. Aurora Moonlight...
A flash of her face on the cover made me frown. Why does she look like that... Mutation? Perhaps... After all, magic can't exist without a rainbow...So she might have colors in her DNA, but her organism doesn't produce them for some reason. She has magic, definitely. But why does it feel... Different? Alien? I don't understand it...
If only Luna were here... She was always better at understanding such things...
I have to make sure that she won't grow up to be a problem. Even if it means that I have to lie and cheat to achieve that.
A few hours earlier...
'I can't believe my eyes!'
'What is this?!'
'This... can't be?!'
I had to make her lose connection fast!
"AAAAHHHHH!" I screamed, making her drop all the glass balls to the floor. I hoped that nothing bad would happen to them when they touched the ground. And to my relief, they simply bounced before settling down.
'That was close...' I thought.
I saw Master Orion look at me, he understood instantly what I wanted him to do. He approached the filly and started to talk to her while I moved back to the desk to inform the teachers what was happening.
'I can't lose my temper. She can't be... his foal right? No... No, Sombra... Never had any children... But her eyes... So... Bloody... In all my years I never saw a filly look into my eyes, and try to penetrate them the way she did! I thought only brilliant strategists and leaders were able to do that on this level...' I moved to the other teachers to explain the situation, I didn't want them to panic over my reaction... They know I'm here in disguise, but they will protect me nonetheless if they need to...
'And that magic... Red, but that can be a coincidence. But that spell! I know that spell! That's not levitation! That's advanced object manipulation! She could tear those balls apart if she wanted to! Change them into any shape, mend, forge, and transform them! How did she learn that spell? Is it an illusion? No, can't be... I would know...' I thought as the filly began to move out of the room, Orion Comet instructing her to go to her mother and ask her to wait.
"Everything is alright, stay here, I will explain the situation to her mother. Continue with the examination." I whispered to the teachers. Moving to the hallway I explained to the parents that the exam was not over. Moving to the filly mother next... One of the two mares that caused chaos in the hallway earlier. That can't be a good sign...
"Please stay after we evaluate other foals please, I will need to speak with you and the other teachers." I whispered in her ear, feeling her shiver, panic... She nodded. I also asked about her name, but I haven't recalled anyone named Pearl Moonlight before...
I moved back into the room. Master Orion continued the examination as I stood beside him, keeping track of the scores, and observing the foals. In my mind, there were questions I wanted answers to, many questions...
'Who is Aurora Moonlight...? Or the better question is... What she is?'
'The only other ponies beside me that know that spell are a few brilliant scholars over the years, Star Swirl, and... Luna. While it's a simple spell once you know the basics of how it works... One mistake... And...' Images of the young colt trying to impress me long ago flashed in my eyes... 'So much blood...' I cringed at the memory.
Is there a possibility she could've learned the wrong spell by accident? No... It had to be a fluke, some kind of... Magic mishap... The only way to learn that is to use a levitation spell with two other spells together... 'Atomic Distribution' and 'Similarity'.
Both were created by Star Swirl during his studies on matter and anti-matter. But those spells are lost in time, there are no records left. The only logical answer would be she knew how to use both 'Atomic Distribution' and 'Similarity'. But how?
She is just a filly...
Right...?
...
I feel sick. Everything was going so perfectly... Twilight Sparkle proved that she is the chosen one, the sonic rainbow... Everything... Why then, do I have to watch out for this filly now?! Is this life's way of punishing me for banishing my sister!? Haven't I had enough!?
HOW MUCH MORE!?
*Crush*
The pen I was holding fell to the ground in two pieces. Master Orion's eyes became small pins in sockets as he looked at me. I felt fury in my body.
I wanted that filly de-...
...
...
No... Celestia... Stop...
"It's okay Master Orion, please continue." I said, trying to maintain my positive expression. Taking the pen back, and fixing it with a spell.
That was not only embarrassing but also immature of me. I can't let the same thoughts my sister had change and corrupt me. I'm better than this... I'm Princess Celestia. I will get my sister back, but not by sacrificing the lives of others.
...
It's just that sometimes... It's too much...
Fillies and colts finally left, and there was only 'her' to deal with... I noted the students that proved satisfactory so far, and reviewing their papers also made me sure that this... Aurora... Isn't a normal filly...
Eighty-nine percent... Either she cheated... Which I know isn't possible... Or she's hiding something. No one, not even Twilight Sparkle got past seventy percent... And she is the most brilliant foal I met in a few hundred years...
Opening the door, Master Orion invited Pearl Moonlight into the room. I felt mixed, but I had to make sure I knew exactly what I was dealing with. This can be dangerous if left alone.
"Please sit down, we will explain everything in just a second." I said, making Orion Comet move out of the way and stand behind me.
The mare sat down, not saying anything. But I sensed she was uneasy. I didn't want to resort to this again... But I had no choice... Everything.....
Needs....
To...
Be..
Perfect.
For her. For me. And for Luna.
I dropped the illusion of Strict Quill, making Pearl Moonlight's eyes shrink. Immediately she took off from the chair and bowed before me.
Unnecessary, but a good sign. Maybe it's a fluke after all...
"I'm so sorry for my behavior earlier! Please! Please don't make Aurora pay for my mistakes! I beg you, Your Majesty!" She said with tears in her eyes bowing before me in such fashion she could hurt herself soon.
"Do not fret, my little pony. That's not why I called you here. It's about your daughter Aurora." I made her stand up, using my hoof to help her. "Please sit down Pearl Moonlight."
The room was soundproof and locked, so I didn't need to worry about the filly looking inside. But I still had a feeling that she might try to... So I went back to the form of Strict Quill... Just in case...
"Is it a-bout how s-she lo-oks? I swear she is a normal pony!" She asked frightened, stuttering.
"No..." I said, which made me frown internally. It was part of the problem, but I wasn't going to tell her that... "It's about her abilities."
"A-Abilites?" She asked, confused. "I don't understand Your Majesty..."
Taking the glass ball jar from the corner I took the balls out and explained. "Those are glass balls, normally, a filly should be able to lift twenty to sixty of them easily. A hundred means the filly is exceptional at magic handling and more means they are a protege. It is possible to lift all the balls of course, but it requires a great deal of magic." I showed her by making all the balls float. However, some on the edges started to either spin or shake.
"Three hundred and twenty balls being lifted into the air is something even I find hard to achieve. But there are ways to make it happen without raw magic." I explained while the balls got closer. "Spells like 'Entity Segregation' for example make them float in groups." The balls were segregated into four groups as I used my magic to sort them.
"Or link them together using 'Chain Object'." I demonstrated by making the magic to chain them together in a way they stayed afloat even though I only used magic to lift ten of them.
"But your daughter used something completely different." The balls started to line up as I poured my magic into them, making them form the shape of a giant ball.
With perfect symmetry and distance from each one they stayed in place, some might even say... In time. "She combined 'Atomic Distribution' and 'Similarity' to create a spell called 'Advanced Object Manipulation.' Which simply makes you change the way particles interact with each other." I made the balls form a single giant sphere. They changed shape to a triangle and then melted together.
I dropped the melted glass triangle onto the table with a thud, making the magic disappear. That was the safe way of using the spell.
"While the spell is not complex and can be achieved with enough training... There is a catch..." I stated, grabbing the triangle glass shape again. "If I were to... touch something else than I intended" I demonstrated by making the triangle touch a chair in the corner of the room and using the same spells as before.
It instantly absorbed itself into the molten glass, and as I closed the connection, the chair had now a triangle of glass inside it, falling to the ground as it couldn't balance itself anymore.
"Do you realize what I mean?" I asked Pearl Moonlight, who by now had a terrified expression on her face.
"If... If that would've touched a living being..." She said, scared.
"Yes, it can be considered a dangerous weapon. But I managed to stop your daughter before she had a chance to touch anything." I said, still observing her reactions. She was on the brink of collapse, she was not only stressed to the bones but also terrified of what I showed her.
I moved closer and put my hoof on her chin. "My little pony. Please, calm down. I'm not here to take Aurora away or harm you or her in any way, I'm here because I need answers. How did she learn that spell?" I asked.
She was still scared, but by gesture definitely calmed her down a little bit. "I... I don't know your majesty! I swear I never thought of her anything like that! Even when I was still learning as a student here I didn't know such advanced magic!" She said honestly. I could feel her search for answers the same way I did.
"You were a student of CSFGU? I do not remember you, unfortunately, but I see that you are speaking the truth." I cooed, hoping for an answer regarding this.
"Y...Yes, I was, but well, I don't believe we had a chance to meet, I was accepted during a period when your majesty had been away. Annexation of northern Staliongrad I believe it was..." She answered, making me remember this pitiful place. Truly, if there was any other choice of saving those ponies from starvation...
"Yes... Yes. I remember. Let's... Let's go back to your daughter. Can you tell me more about her?" I asked, looking directly into her eyes. I hated to use that spell, but it was very efficient...
As she spoke about her daughter I could see everything from the past seven years from her point of view. Birth of Aurora, her first words, incredible learning potential, struggles in kindergarten, fights, her problems with appearance, everything she has seen her do, act, and say...
This foal was something else, something alien. Never did I see someone so young act so rationally and irrationally at the same time and in this way. She was full of surprises, but also incredibly protective and caring. Her strange appearance would normally make her rejected from social groups. A normal foal would just accept that, and close themselves to the outside world, but she... She kept on going... What kind of motivation did she had? Who inspired her?
The last time I saw someone so miserable and so motivated was... Was...
"Your majesty?" Pearl blinked, making me lose focus.
"Sorry, my dear... I was thinking about something..." I told her, moving back and looking out of the window.
I need to watch Aurora. Even if she isn't dangerous right now... Who knows where she might end up if I don't control her? I don't want another problem on my hooves right now. I want to focus on making Twilight my pupil. She needs so much work, and I can't let myself lose the only chance I have of making my sister return...
"Aurora will attend CSFGU." I said, looking at the mare on the chair.
Everyone else in the room was silent, so I spoke again.
"That way, I can make sure she doesn't harm herself, and others." I said, which was partially true, but it had to be enough to convince her.
"Thank you!" She said with tears in her eyes.
'Huh? That easily?' My little ponies really became rather easy to control over the years... "There is one condition though." I need to use this opportunity to make sure she doesn't suspect anything.
"Don't tell Aurora about me, this, or anything that happened in this room. She needs guidance and she has a lot to learn if she is to be successful." I said, making her nod.
"What should I say then?" She asked, confused.
"That we were simply surprised how well she did." I said, making Pearl cringe.
"I know that lying isn't what you want to do. But believe me. It's the only way for now." I had to use everything I could to make sure Aurora stayed in the same place she was. I won't harm her, but I cannot allow her to ruin my plans, and I will do anything in my power to make sure of that.
"Of... Of course your majesty." She bowed again.
Nodding I made a motion for her to leave, others seemed as confused as she was, but I didn't care. Nothing, and I mean nothing will make me lose my sister...
Again...
Oh, boy.... Celestia, you're going to make another problem. The ponies that are trying to get ahold of Aurora probably want her to be the second coming of Sombra, and Celestia's going to wind up all but pushing her right into their clutches with her machinations. She's going to hamper Aurora's progression, and then those evil ponies are going to use that to make an offer. Since Aurora was never told anything about herself, in particular that there are some...let's say unsavory sorts along certain branches of her family tree, she might not recognize the offer as anything but a concerned relative, or even just the opportunity to get to know the family she was never told she has, until it's too late.
i feel like celestias manipulations of aurara are going to go a bit off.
Interesting. Celestia is clearly a brilliant if not deeply flawed character. A strategist and a manipulator, one could wonder whether she had to acquire those skills to make her plans come true, or whether they're to blame for her problems in the first place.
Such fierce emotions and such quick condemnation of one of her little ponies, This Celestia seems to fit more into the archetype of having molded and adapted society to fit around harmony, in contrast to her possible origin of violence and warfare.
Of course her little pony here isn't really a pony at all, so the suspicion is somewhat justified...
I'm really enjoying this story so far and I look forward to seeing more when you get the time.
I do wonder how the plot is going to progress now though. Time-skips have been introduced as a concept, so are we going to get some school shenanigans and then skip to the summer sun celebration start? Or will the story veer off in a different direction entirely?
The mention of Luna's banishment makes me think that, that will play some big part of the story, and yet this story is also tagged as romance. But with the only characters being tagged: Celestia and Oc, will the romance be between two oc's, or will this little hellion of a mare grow up to rizz the sun mare one day?
Lot's to theorize on, regardless I look forward to whatever you do. Keep on writing author, you're doing a banger job so far!
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If it means we'll see the fun edgy grampa again, I'm down for this.
You guys are something else! The more I read, the more I want to implement into the story. But alas, I will continue as I planned.
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Celestia's need for control may not necessarily be a bad thing for Aurora. Anyone who does want to use her for their schemes has to not only maneuver inside Equestria's capital to get at her, but also do it without the Princess taking notice when she's deliberately going out of her way to keep an eye on Aurora. Regardless of whether or not Celestia learns to treat her like one of her little ponies, Aurora is still much safer by her side than she would otherwise be.
And even if Celestia tries to throttle Aurora's progress, I have a feeling that she'll find a way to blossom in spite of that...
I definitely wasn't expecting this, what an interesting take on Celestia. I wonder how her control will effect the story as a whole. Lots of interesting predictions in the comments.
I found one typo:
Change the laying to lying.
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Thank you!
i dont think Celestia manipulation games will go well. Especially we see twi and aurora getting befriended. Celestial already on a big gambit with making the EOH bearers and "may" bring her sister back. (what i saw in this situation in many other fics) harmony has its own will and not even celestia can force it to act in a way she want it. In this Context Aurora are from the unpredictable rule of the universe. If i woud be celestia and we all know she have spells do delete memory, after this id just talk with aurora privately and try to ask if she some kind of other spirit or entity not native to this world. best case senario she get an answer and can work with aurora to both protect her ponies and her Magnum opus, and aurora a world to explore and thrive in, or just delete her memorys and keep a tight leashon her. Witch the worse option here. Guessing games are fine but i didnt expected tia to brainstorming and spiraling into what if-s. thats the worst you can do. at least we see she isnt that perfect as her ponies think she is.
Wonderful story so far and interesting take on Celestial still being manipulative.
Hi author I wonder if this story will be more original or equestria at war? It's funny that you made Celestia not as completely peaceful and helpless as she was, although I think she is too wary of Aurora (although I think it can be explained that she is afraid of losing her sister again... As you wrote in this chapter), if she thinks that she is the daughter of sombra, then I think she would have felt his magic, or let her scan Aurora for umbra magic if these spells are lost, is it possible that anyone else has thought of them? Not only starswirl studied magic and spells (or maybe someone copied the spells and transferred them to several books that were lost and!Oh, a miracle! were found a year or two ago and sold and thus fell into someone's hands) the chapter is good, continue in the same spirit. I suggest the name: "brisk flash
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some humans survive on overcoming challenges and conflicts, I think that Celestia attempting to limit her will give Aurora challenges to overcome and grow as opposed to a normal pony who will be severely limited. Kind of like how for certain plants you can give them the most well suited soils and lots of care then they just die, but they'll happily grow out of the side of a building
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I do not plan to make this a conflict fic. But some things like war or clashes might happen in the future. Or not.
It's hard to pin you in the right direction and not spoil anything.
But this is mainly a slice of life. And I intend to stick to that principle. For a while.
I saw a typo u used thought i tink u mean taught
Nope, Equestria's education system is just garbage. The suposely best magic school in this nation forced students to remeber worthless informations and test them with multiple choices questions.
What? Organism? Does magic came from microbes like the midichlorians?
I felt like Celestia was a idiot among fools. She's relatively smarter than most but still an idiot.
Throwing at the problem and hope for the best is not a good plan.
She should asked the Jedi how thing goes. They also had a chosen one
Huh, that is interesting. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer?
So what I'm getting from this chapter is that on a subconscious/primal level, ponies are picking up on the fact that that she's an alien. It's not her lack of pigmentation. Rather, her lack of pigmentation is because her "soul" isn't interacting with harmony in the way that ponies do, which leaves her feeling like an empty skinsuit to them. But the pigmentation is immediately visible, so ponies are incorrectly assuming that's the reason for the reaction, when it's actually just the effect. But meanwhile her body is able to channel magic like normal because it's a normal pony body, and it's just the soul inside it that's out of place. I wonder whether she'll be able to get a cutie mark or not.
Rather than lie and cheat and be manipulative for absolutely no reason at all...why not simply tell Aurora that the spell she cast was dangerous? Why in the world would you keep this a secret from her so she doesn't know not to cast the potentially pony-flesh-melting spell again?
Oh, no! For generations ponies have been becoming stupider, while the external threats grow! How terrible that this knowledgeable and magically-talented pony just showed up at my school and aced the test I'm whining that ponies haven't been improving on!
Clearly Twilight is the most brilliant foal even though this other pony outperformed her both magically and on the written exam. Clearly.
Oh, dear goodness. Celestia needs to find ponies to be friends with Twilight. Where-oh-where can she find a pony who would get along with an anti-social bookworm who's interested in magic? Pity this other anti-social bookworm who's interested in magic applied to the school on the exact same day. Curses! Better keep an eye on her and keep secrets from her ask her mother to lie to her and generally be manipulative and antagonistic for absolutely no reason at all, that will surely make things better!
...or, you could have simply told her the spell was dangerous so she wouldn't go melting anypony's face with it, pat her on the head and tell you're proud of her for being so capable so she feels happy and welcome rather than so ostracized that she grows up to become a villain, then arranged for her to be Twilight's roommate at the school so they both become friends like you need her to have anyway.
Yes, how awful that a second magical prodigy showed up at exactly the time I need ponies to help resolve the Nightmare Moon situation. How awful that a pony that's a lot like Twilight and clearly needs a friend should happen to show up when one of my bigger problems right now is needing Twilight to make some friends. How terrible that for generations ponies have been getting stupider and test scores haven't improved, and yet this pony shows up and aces the test. Everything is going my way, oh woe is me!
It just seems like Celestia has been handed the Idiot Ball here.
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Okay.
I didn't want to address this but I will, because it's making me feel bad.
I'm making fan fiction.
I'm not writing a fucking essay on the university. Please stop making me feel bad about my every single decision regarding character behavior and choices, pinpointing the exact things I did wrong/could have done better. It's annoying. Seriously dude, I can't think of every single scenario, draw a new plot line, and make sure they are okay with everything anyone is pointing out they think is wrong with characters.
At this point, you are making me feel bad about the effort I put into this. You are not even providing criticism, you are just stating your opinion while actively trying to pinpoint every single logical mistake I make.
I feel like you're my teacher who actively tries to make me a bad example for others to learn from. It's stressing me out, man!
I won't answer/reply to any comments you make in that fashion from this point onward. I hope you have a good day.
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Thanks, will see where it is and correct it.
[edit: I don't see it]
Thanks for the chapter!
Hmm...
Celestia has PTSD and has it hard. Oh so very hard that anything involving it makes her a mess of paranoia and mood swings.
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I would not call it paranoia, but I guess you are mostly correct about the fact that she is stressing out over everything.
I wanted to make her appear like someone who wants to do everything at the same time and be perfect at it but at the same time someone who is disturbed by any inconvenience. (Sounds like me lol)
She makes mistakes, and deep down she knows that she is making them, but she can't help when the alternatives are making her think of more and more possibilities. Basically, she is afraid of losing control.
Is it a normal look for her? Nope, but I guess I like her that way much more since it was a couple of scenes in the series that indicated that she overreacted, like the time she had to send Twilight to Ponyville.
I didn't want her to appear as someone who knows everything only because they are old. I wanted her to have flaws, everyone needs them in my opinion, and the usual description of "The great and powerful Celestia goddess" is in my opinion used too much to enhance the fact that she is simply an old mare.
So yeah, developing something like PTSD is something I consider normal for her age and her past (With nightmare moon).
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Okay. I calmed down a little bit and rethought this.
I think I overreacted since it's just an opinion I shouldn't take it seriously and that's my bad. I'm just stressing out over making everyone happy, and not being able to do so, even if I try.
I will not do that from now on. Sorry once again.
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I missed this comment,
Emm... Organism, in the sense of producing colors, I didn't specify that part very well, did I?
And yes. Much Star wars very Anakin.
Celestia encourages lies. No wonder she’s paranoid and thinks Harmony’s out for her.
Keep trying, Aurora! Twilight’s your friend.
I like that the protagonist did the magic test so fundamentally wrong that it's got Celestia jumping at shadows. All because of monke brain. Your version of Celestia also doesn't seem to understand why she drove her sister away and the cult like reverence she's trained the ponies into viewing her isn't helping. Perfectionism is a rabbit hole at the best of times and she's taken the whole warren.
Keep it up, this has been fun to read.
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Nobody is perfect and even characters in a story are allowed to make mistakes, often times i have come to a dumb conclusion made a dumb decision in the moment only to realize my mistake or not at all till someone pointed it out to me even when they should have been obvious.
So making characters with flaws and poor decision making can often be more interesting then a perfect character that never makes mistakes
And i like that Celestia is not perfect and making mistakes she is obsessing over twilight and trying to shove away what she is perceiving as a problem without giving her a chance, a very believable reaction from an old mare i think
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I think your reaction was fair
If constructive criticism was offered that would be different but i got the i feeling they were just complaining cos it's not done how they wanted it.
This is why i will always say don't try to appease others if you try to make everyone happy you end up making no one happy and making yourself miserable
write what you want how you want if you are happy with your work others will enjoy it too i know i do
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Yeah, I got that feeling too, that's why I reacted like that, but honestly, I want to just shove that sort of comments to the side, if they don't bring anything to the table. My reaction was something completely unnecessary I think.
Anyhow, I value all input even negative. But only in a fashion that makes me learn.
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That's mighty respectable of you I'd be a little bit salty myself but i am abit spiteful when i feel I've been slighted.
just a few pony like names i thought of you can use if you like, two are from doctor who and one is from Baldur's Gate but they fit.
Aegis shield, Sunny Skies, Melody Sky, Melody Pond, River Song, Shadow Heart, Fire Fly, Green Been, Sugar Pop, Winter Solstice, Fortunes Favor
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Thank you, might use them in the future!
Very interesting on how you linked Sombre’s dark fur, red eyes and a red magic wake to Aurora. showing how manipulative Celestia is due to her emotions and love for her loved ones is pretty neet.
I thought she screwed because she shouldn't be able to lift 100 marbles, surprise surprise she seemly did like idk a s tier spell ?
Other commenters have said it, but Celestia feels very out of character here. You started the chapter with her inner monologue saying she didn't want to end up like nightmare moon, but then ended it with her lying, and scheming.
Not entirely sure this interlude was necessary, but let's see where this goes!
If the question is "Who is Aurora Moonlight...?"
Then the "she" is probably referring to Aurora
I feel like the word order should be "what is she?"
And maybe italicize "who" and "what"
Just my opinion though
Prodigy*
That is, unless this is the specific criterion for becoming her personal student
Taught*
Have*
Either something is really wrong with this celestia,
Or whatever she thinks might be going on with Aurora has her spooked enough to somehow warrant this gross invasion of privacy
You kinda lost me here. It was interesting, until you did the cliche "OMG she so speshul dark magic" type shit.
It's so contrived and SO overdone