Thirty-ish Minute Pony Stories

by Abecedarian

Every Sense of the Phrase (Prompt #117)

TMP Prompt #117 - “You’re All I Ever Wanted”

Prompt: The letter home.

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Every Sense of the Phrase

“It’s just that I felt so sorry for them!” Ditzy told the interviewer. “Sitting there in that office all alone, all those hopes and wishes, all those dreams…all those…all those…”

“Letters.”

“Yes!” Ditzy’s nose wrinkled. “I never liked that term ‘dead letters’. It’s so cold, so heartless! I prefer the term “neglected letters’, because they need care and attention.”

“And that’s why you built this place?”

“Exactly! A home where neglected letters can be accepted for who they are, where they can live again, roaming free and being themselves! A place where they can make good on all their ambitions!”

“And are they happy here?”

“Well, they don’t seem sad.”

“Fair enough.” The interviewer looked around. “And this place is made of…”

“Yep! Letter bricks, letter curtains, letter furniture—pretty comfortable right?”

“Surprisingly so, yes.”

“Letter windows, letter sinks, letter toilets—more tea?”

“Uh, no thanks. Sounds like a lot of work on your part.”

“It was worth it. I just felt like the poor things wanted to be useful again!” Ditzy laughed. “Ha! They said I was crazy down at the post office.”

“Well, you sure showed them.”

Wah-wah-waaahh!

“What was that!?”

“Oh, it’s just Pinkie Pie. Every time she passes by here she pulls out a trumpet and plays that tune. I think she’s trying to entertain the letters or something.” Ditzy tapped the side of her head. “She’s crazy.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, everypony knows they prefer the xylophone, the zither and the quena.” She leaned in confidentially. “They feel a certain kinship with ‘q’, ‘x’ and ‘z’.”

“Makes sense.”

The interviewer rose.

“Well, thank you for the opportunity to visit this…unique place.”

“No problem!” She shook his hoof enthusiastically. “Enjoy it while you can. It won’t be here for long.”

“That’s a shame. Why not?”

“My mom says I don’t visit as often as she’d like, and she insists that I send one of these to her every now and then. Parents!” She gave an exasperated snort. “Anyway, it’ll be gone as soon as I find a package big enough.”

Wah-wah-waaaahhh!

“Pinkie’s all over the place today, isn‘t she?”

Author's Note:

Past Me: "See, post offices have a "dead letter" section! Ditzy felt bad and made a home for them! A letter home! And she made it out of letters, it's a letter home and a letter home! And she's going to send it in the mail to her mom who wants a letter home! A letter home that's a letter home about to be a letter home! I'm a genius! A GENIUS! PRAISE ME!"

2022 Me: That's one word for it. I guess I'll just explain that trombones are for jokes that flop. Alas, I never learned to play.

Comments

[Abecedarian]

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.

[PresentPerfect]

I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but... I don't even get why Pinkie was sad tromboning. o.O