Bug In The City

by PointlessGizmo

Chapter 16 - Before The Storm

As the sun rose the next morning, Leech was dejectedly strolling through the castle gardens. Sleep had, for the most part, eluded him that night - partly because of his current circumstances, and partly because the wagon was freezing cold with no fuel in its stove. Groggily rubbing at his eyes, Leech was pleased to see the morning sun slowly make its way from behind the horizon and into the sky.

"At leazzt izz not raining anymore!" he thought. "Rain zzsounded like avalanche on building roof lazzt night!"

Making his way across the soggy lawns, the ground beneath him squelching with every step, Leech made his way to one of the gardens' exit gates. He wasn't entirely sure where he would go from here, seeing as he had the day off work and no apartment to go to.

"Hmm. Leech hazz day off, but Tattle pony wantzz Leech to go and help make more phoney gozzip picturezz." he thought sadly.

Leech exited the gardens and trotted down Canterlot's empty streets, the majority of the city's denizens still being abed from the previous night's exertions. The only ponies Leech could see during his melancholy canter were the various milkponies making their deliveries, the occasional royal guard and oddly, a vagrant rummaging through a nearby dumpster. Leech paid none of them any heed however, as his mind was preoccupied with his confrontation with Trixie.

"Maybe Leech should apologizze for yelling at Trixzzie? No! Trixzzie wazz mean to Leech, Trixzzie should apologizze! But Trixzzie hazz alwayzz been a bit mean to Leech, doezzn't mean Trixzzie hatezz Leech... but she'zz never been thizz bad..." he debated with himself, back and forth until he thought his brain would melt.

The more he considered his position, however, the angrier he became.

"Trixzzie carezz nothing for Leech, Leech izz juzzt meanzz to an end! Leech will show Trixzzie a thing or two, why if Leech zzsaw her now..."

Leech's attention was caught by the 'vagrant' pulling her head out of the dumpster and slamming its lid closed. As Leech turned to look, a familiar set of violet eyes looked back at him, framed by a messy mane and a banana peel hanging off the horn above them.

"Leech!" cried Trixie, running towards him. "I've been looking everywhere for you since sunrise, thank Celestia you're alright!"

Leech stared wordlessly at Trixie for a few moments, before flinging himself forwards and wrapping his forelegs around one of her own.

"Leech izz zzsorry, Leech never wantzz to fall out with Trixzzie again, Leech never ever shout again! Leech wantzz to zzstay friendzz forever!" he yammered hurriedly, immediately disregarding his previous line of thought.

"I know, I know." soothed Trixie, rubbing Leech's head with her other forehoof. "Don't worry, Leech, you haven't done anyth-... oh no, not again!"

Leech looked up at Trixie, and noticed the malevolent red glow present in her irises once more. She pulled her hoof away from Leech's own and staggered backwards, shaking her head violently as though she was engaged in some kind of internal struggle.

"No... no... I can't let this... happen... again..." she thought as she frantically attempted to suppress the shockwave of negativity and hostility that threatened to consume her mind once more.

Alas, one unicorn's willpower was no match for the mystic energies of five hundred unicorns long since passed, and soon Trixie stood bolt upright, glaring at Leech with narrowed crimson eyes and a steely gaze.

"As I was saying, you haven't done anything anywhere near enough to make up for your disrespect to Trixie the All-Powerful!" she boomed, striding purposefully towards Leech.

"But Trixzzie zzsaid she wanted to be friendzz again... now Trixzzie zzsayzz Leech needzz to apologizze more? Leech doezz not underzzstand!" he wailed, backing away from Trixie's continued advance.

"That's not a surprise, Leech seldom does!" snarled Trixie, pushing her snout into Leech's face and staring directly into his eyes with her own. "But try not to let it get you down too much, bug face! Now, until you have a suitable way of making amends to Trixie, stay out of my way!"

With this, Trixie turned around and stomped away, shouting obscenities at a nearby milkmare as she went past. As Leech watched her leave, he picked himself up and furrowed his brow.

"Oh. It. Izz. On." he hissed, before taking flight and heading further into the city.

----------

A short while later, Leech touched down at the end of the street where he worked, and galloped the rest of the way to the Canterlot Chronicle offices. As he did, Leech couldn't help but notice that the streets were beginning to become busier as the Canterlot populace began to awaken. He also couldn't help but notice that their stares were harsher, and their jibes were crueler than they'd been previously.

"Vermin!" shouted a passing mare.

"Get out of our city, parasite!" snarled a shop vendor as he opened his premises for the day.

Ignoring them and the dark muttering from the other ponies who happened to be in the area, Leech soon reached his intended destination. Wasting no time, Leech barged through the Chronicle building's front door and flew vertically up the stairwell. He carefully poked his head around the corner of the corridor that led to the press offices themselves. He couldn't afford to let any of the staff see him in the office during his supposed day off, lest any of them become suspicious! Creeping cautiously through the building, Leech's heart stopped as he heard hoofsteps approaching. Thinking quickly, Leech deftly switched forms, becoming a large potted plant in a puff of green energy. From within his leafy disguise, Leech watched the pair of unicorn reporters trot past, hoping neither of them would question where the new potted plant had come from. Turning into a plant wasn't difficult - after all, changelings could imitate any living being, regardless of their disguise's sapience level. The pot had been a little trickier, but fortunately Leech had picked up a trick or two from Trixie during his time with her. Combining this with his own powers allowed for what was technically known as a partial inorganic transformation. Or as Leech called it, 'turning into stuff that isn't ponies'.

"Morning, Leech." said one of them nonchalantly as they strode by.

Somewhat crestfallen, Leech switched back to his original appearance.

"How did pony know it wazz Leech?" he asked, disappointed.

"Because pot plants generally don't have eyes." replied the other reporter, stopping and turning to face Leech. "Say, didn't Snap Happy say you were off today?"

"Well... yezz... but... erm..." stammered Leech. "Leech forgot hizz... um... hizz hat. Yezz, Leech left hizz reporter hat at offizze. And if Leech zzseezz good zzstory during hizz day off, he can't report it without hizz hat!"

"I hear you, my friend!" replied the first reporter, lovingly tapping his 'Press' fedora with a forehoof. "I don't know what it is about these things, but I just can't report unless I'm looking the part! Well, see you around!"

Leech mopped his brow as he watched the reporters leave, which was a somewhat redundant action since chitin didn't contain sweat glands. But, it just felt right to Leech at that moment in time. Swiftly resuming his mission, Leech stealthily made his way to Tattle-Tale's office, encountering seventeen other ponies along the way. Thanks to his mastery of disguise and natural changeling cunning, however, he was only spotted fifteen times. Reaching his target, Leech took a deep breath in, and knocked the door to Tattle-Tale's office. He pushed the door open cautiously when the gossip-crazed unicorn told him he could enter, and scurried inside.

----------

Canterlot's streets had once more gained their usual hustle and bustle as its pompous populace awoke and set out to begin their day. Among them, a hooded and cloaked figure paced nervously down the main street, a pair of magenta eyes occasionally peering from beneath the hood. Trixie glanced around, paranoid about being recognized and attracting any unwanted attention. As she walked, the Alicorn Amulet jingled and clanked from within her saddlebags, where it resided since she'd taken it off.

"It's no good, I'll HAVE to cancel my Gala show. This thing's defective - there's no telling what I'll do if I keep using it!" she mused pensively. "I just hope the citizens of Canterlot will understand, and that the gossip article calling me a coward won't have too much of an effect!"

Presently, she left the busy main streets and approached an immaculately polished set of brass gates, at the end of a long pathway leading to an impressive white-painted mansion - the home of Fancy Pants. Trixie pushed the door buzzer button set into the wall to the left of the gates, and waited for Fancy to open the gates for her. She hoped he wouldn't be too disappointed at her turning down his offer of performing at the Gala, but knew deep down it was for the best. As she waited, a distressed voice called to her from behind.

"Trixie? Is that you?" came the call.

Trixie rolled her eyes and turned around, expecting yet another armada of crazed fans to mob her with autograph books, or stand next to her and grin as their friends took pictures. She really wasn't in the mood for this, but sighed defeatedly as she turned around and awaited the inevitable. What she found when she turned around, however, surprised her.

"Class Act?" she exclaimed, noting the tired-looking pony before her.

Sure enough, there stood Trixie's employer, looking as though he hadn't slept or shaved in days, his eyes bloodshot with heavy bags beneath them and his body exhausted and unfed.

"Thank goodness I've found you." he panted, a moderate whiff of alcohol on his breath. "I've just come to wish you luck with the Gala performance tomorrow. You have no idea how much this is going to mean to me!"

"Well... um... thanks, I guess." began Trixie, uncertainly. "But you've got an entire business empire at your hooves, why in Equestria is my performance going to affect you so?"

"Because my cold storage company is under investigation by the Equestria Environmental Department! Some hack of a journalist has reported that my firm is committing environmental crimes, and there's not a shred of truth to it! Tattle-Tale, that conniving trickster... he's even got photos! I don't know where from, because I've never dumped waste into the country's waterways - Chilled Refreshments And Perishables has always prided itself on environmental responsibility!" yammered Class Act, his voice becoming increasingly desperate.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that... I've had an encounter with Tattle-Tale myself. He's a flank-headed cretin for sure, but I still don't get what bearing I have on all this." replied Trixie, sympathetically.

"My business is going down the tubes! My customers are going to start cancelling contracts, and I bet I'll have to close it down before the year is out! Which means my cabaret bars will be my sole income from now on. And when you knock 'em dead at the Gala, they'll be the most popular bars in all of Equestria!" continued Class Act, a hopeful smile appearing on his face. "Do well at the Gala, and I'll make it through this whole ordeal just fine! I'll see you tomorrow!"

With this, Class Act trotted away, a slight stagger to his step as though he were struggling to co-ordinate his hooves. Trixie hung her head and closed her eyes tightly. She wondered bitterly why nothing could ever be simple for her! Her best friend was missing, she didn't even know if reconciliation was possible, she had an amulet which made her angry every time she wore it and now she didn't know whether she could cancel her show!

"Class Act was the pony who gave me my big break in Canterlot!" she thought. "I can't let him down like this. No two ways about it, I'll HAVE to perform after all!"

She levitated the Alicorn Amulet from her saddlebag, and gazed upon it thoughtfully. Its enchanted ruby glistened in the mid-morning sun, occasionally emitting an otherworldly shimmer of crimson energy.

"It's just for one more day, I only need to wear it until the Gala is over and done with. I'll have to be alert and control the impulses it gives me. You're strong, Trixie. You can do this. You're Great and Powerful, no mere bauble is going to mess with your mind!" she told herself as she placed the amulet's collar back around her neck.

This time she wasn't knocked off her hooves by a wave of power hitting her, instead merely experiencing a moment of slight nausea before the familiar, addictive feeling of security and invulnerability coursed through her body once more.

"See, this isn't so bad." she told herself out loud, a smile gracing her lips. "It's fine, maybe I just put it on wrong the first time around. No freaky glowing or angry shouting this time around."

Presently, Fancy Pants arrived and swung open the heavy brass gates. He was surprised to find the hooded and cloaked Trixie standing at the end of his garden path.

"Trixie, my dear!" he said smoothly. "You do look well! To what do I owe the pleasure? Are you ready for your big performance tomorrow?"

"TRIXIE IS TOTALLY READY! MY MIND IS READY! MY BODY IS READY!" roared Trixie, her eyes burning redder than ever and her mouth contorted into a maniacal grin.

"Oh, um, splendid." replied Fancy Pants meekly, taking a step backwards. "And will your little friend be present for the show?"

"Leech? HAH! Don't make Trixie the All-Powerful laugh. I ditched that dolt like the dead-weight he is!" Trixie responded with a wicked grin.

"Oh, excell- I mean, I am sorry your friendship's gone that way. Still, never mind - you've most likely learned a valuable lesson about trusting changelings. Say, whilst you're here, would you like to come in for tea and cake?" asked Fancy Pants, barely able to suppress a triumphant smile.

"Darn straight, Fancy!" boomed Trixie, giving Fancy Pants an over-enthusiastic hoof bump to his shoulder.

With this, Trixie boldly trotted down the path towards the mansion, as Fancy Pants quickly closed the gates and hobbled after her, barely able to keep pace.

----------

Meanwhile, at the Canterlot Chronicle offices, Leech was seated in Tattle-Tale's office, explaining his situation. Tattle-Tale, sensing trouble, eagerly listened to everything Leech had to say.

"Well, I'm sorry yer friendship's gone south." Tattle-Tale said to Leech, thinly veiling his insincerity. "But tell me, what does this have ta do wid me?"

"Tattle-Tale hazz photozz showing Trixzzie bailed on Fanzzy pony'zz party, right?" responded Leech, his gaze shifting to the side as though contemplating his own actions.

"Oh, you mean my 'insurance policy', da one I'm usin' ta secure your services?" asked Tattle-Tale, a smug grin appearing on his face.

"Yep." said Leech flatly. "Tattle-Tale can publish them. Leech doezzn't care any more."

Author's Note:

First update in weeks.... and it's a setup chapter. Sorry about that!

Comments

[Karna]

Oh Leech...

Somebody needs to save this friendship, fast.

[Blue_Paladin42]

Trixie? Why not just keep the amulet in your saddlebags and ONLY wear it during the performance. Silly filly.

[PointlessGizmo]

1987604

I shall address this seemingly gaping plot inconsistency in a later chapter.

When I've thought of an explanation. If all else fails, a wizard did it.

[Blue_Paladin42]

1987617
Plot inconsistency? Seems to me Trixie is just being a silly filly who never thinks things through. As usual. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Trixie_lolface_2.png

[SCP Pinkamena]

Meanwhile, just how does a changeling with the IQ of an empty potato sack get by in a society with such incredibly high standards?

I LOLED

[Mr. Grimm]

Poor Leech...Poor Trixie...

What shall become of them?

Oh, and Leech is the highest level Changeling for figuring out how to become a potted plant.

[PointlessGizmo]

1988160

Just a little something he picked up from Trixie and combined with his own powers. He may be an idiot, but he's not stupid.

Wait, what?

[Kishin]

...

Holy shit, this day got epic-er

First the new episode, then this?

You sure know how to pick your moments, friendo.

[Undead_Non-Brony]

Leech is best pony.

[Themaskedferret]

Oh Leech..oh Trixie. Oh Fancy Pants you utter prick. You should be better than this!

[Zephyrus Scary]

Fancy... Pants...

I hope Tattle-Tale goes the route of saying Trixie is a Changeling... That should go a ways towards teaching ol' Fancy his lesson.

[Wilhelm]

Oh sweet holy me yes.

[ShadowVR2]

1987617
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usun-6mEyTo
---

"Oh. It. Izz. On."

LOL! Leech is gone Rarity on Trixie now.

[NaughtSought]

Finally caught up and yay for it being a setup chapter. Bow I'll be ready for the next chapter!
This is great really.

[PointlessGizmo]

2014122

Ah, nothing like a good pun.

And that was indeed nothing like a good pun.

[metallusionsismagic]

1987604 1987617 The amulet provides the power necessary to perform the tricks she needs to do. She still needs to practice those tricks in the meantime!

The gauntlet has been thrown. Worst-case scenario is a go. This is a real hoof biter!
Also: Pooh pooh, Fancy. Way to show your true colors.

[PointlessGizmo]

2042014

Very similar line to the line I've decided to take. Great minds, eh?

(The way I've approached it is that Trixie needs to test the Amulet's limits, to see what it can and can't do in order to plan her show. Unfortunately, the longer she wears it, the more her priorities change and the less inclined she is to take it off again. And I'm saying no more than that!)

[metallusionsismagic]

2044530 Great minds think alike, clever minds publish first and claim it as their own.

[Twifight Sparkill]

fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/348/8/e/_spoilers__pinkie_pie_hugs_rainbow_dash__s3e07__by_sillyfoal-d5o0mj6.png

"Pinkie Pie picks out her favorite cupcake."

[nightmaster0]

Thing's are about to get nut's. One thing though. While it's true most ponies won't recognize the Alicorn Amulet won't the Princesses be able to realize what it is?

[PointlessGizmo]

2119364

They would indeed, if they were in Canterlot. The next chapter (nearly done!) reveals that the princesses themselves are in Saddle Arabia on a visit. Delays to their schedule mean they don't get back in time for the Gala as they'd intended to. (Since this is sort of becoming an alternate version of Magic Duel, I decided to use the whole Saddle Arabia idea, but flip it the other way. )

[PointlessGizmo]

2136835

You shall be sentenced to death for your crimes.

And by that I mean you shall be killed with sentences. Don't ask me how this works physically, because even our top scientists aren't exactly sure.

[SIGAWESOME]

2136934
Since the Vogons have not contacted NASA or the ESA yet, I suppose the next worst (best?) sentence sentence would be listening to a dramatic reading of badly written, self-insertion, erotic slash fanfictions (n.b. that may be a tautology).

Ugh...
farm9.staticflickr.com/8057/8159885205_54046005c0.jpg

[PointlessGizmo]

2173071

If the sentences themselves don't kill you, the inevitable suicide that follows will...

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

*Shakes head* Leech, Leech... Can't blame the guy, mind. And Trixie, dammit! Get that thing off!

Eagerly awaiting more!

[nemryn]

Nooooo! Stay good, Fancy, stay good!

[Vigriff]

Well...Looks like Trixie and Leech are pretty much boned by this point. *grabs a box of popcorn and watches to see what happens next*

[Zarose]

I bet leech is gonna mess up tricked gala performance. This is gonna be hilarious!

[Zarose]

Stupid spell check. I meant Trixie not tricked

[PointlessGizmo]

2769487

Don't feel bad, I'm just glad you made it in the end!

[Grazy Polomare]

*Grabs some popcorn*

UPDATES! YOU MUST UPDATE! ZE MAGIKS REQUIRE IT!

I gotta say, this is the topping on the cake! You've certainly done it again and I can't wait to see what's next!

*Stuff popcorn into mouth*

Now if only I had a party cannon...

[-Serpent-]

No, Leech!