Dear Twilight,
I’ve been tasked by Princess Luna to bring the bat ponies up to speed with modern times. I think what they really need are lessons on friendship. Would it be all right if I used the letters you send me- your “Second Looks at Friendship”- to teach them?
Your friend,
Radish
The bat ponies gathered attentively around Radish at Luna's breakfast table, listening to him read Twilight’s letter about a slumber party she shared with Applejack and Rarity.
“So,” said Radish, putting the letter down, “what do you make of Twilight’s conclusion that friends can ‘embrace each other’s differences’?”
“This seems counter-productive!” said Nocturn. “Why not embrace similarities first?”
“Fool Nocturn! Because similarities are not a source of conflict!” hissed Murk.
“Is it just me,” said Vesper, “or did the belligerence between Applejack and Rarity cloak a deeper passion? May we read more recent letters to see what becomes of their relationship?”
“Do not skip ahead!” said Murk. “Allow the story to unfold in its own time!”
“I agree with Murk!” said Nocturn.
“You forget, the letter about the gala tickets revealed that Rarity lusts for stallions,” Echo reminded her.
“Perhaps not exclusively!” cautioned Vesper.
“And Applejack lusts for… wait. Envoy, what does Applejack lust for?” Echo asked.
“I don’t know,” shrugged Radish. “Apples?”
“Perhaps Applejack lusts for the Envoy!” suggested Nocturn, cheerily.
“I don’t think so,” said Radish, considering it.
“Do not pester the Envoy with mere orchardists, when his sight is set on the Mistress’s sister!” Vesper warned.
“My sight is not set on Celestia!” said Radish.
Across the room, Luna sat at her desk working through a stack of paperwork. She smirked to herself.
“Look, let’s get back to the letter,” Radish said. “Applejack and Rarity learned to embrace their differences. So how can you four embrace the differences of other ponies?”
“The other ponies did not spend a thousand years in the mountains! We could ask them what they did instead!” said Vesper.
“Good.”
“They were never blessed with the Mistress’s power! We could offer our commiserations!” said Echo.
“They might not understand that. But a lot of ponies don’t know much about Princess Luna. You could tell them what you like about her.”
“Radish Root,” called Luna as she worked, “we do not need the bat ponies to act as our propaganda ministry.”
“I like her soothing presence!” said Echo.
“I like her strategic mind!” said Vesper.
“I like her fearsome power!” said Nocturn.
“I like her skillful cooking!” said Murk.
“Princess Luna, you cooked for them in the old days?” Radish asked.
Luna looked at them.
“Nightmare Moon prided herself on her artistry in many subjects. But no, we don’t remember cooking.”
“You roasted grubs and beetles for us!” Murk said. “In exotic spices and marinades!”
“Ah. The other ponies may not find that appealing,” Luna said. “I believe you four have properly absorbed this letter’s teachings. You may now go out and feed. But be mindful of the city’s right-of-way laws for flying. I don’t want to hear one of you got another ticket.”
The bat ponies looked at each other.
“And what of the preview of the next letter?” asked Murk.
“Ah, right,” said Luna. “Lieutenant, if you would?”
Radish cleared his throat and adopted a dramatic tone. “When bizarrely comedic ailments befall the Ponyville Six, they believe they’ve been cursed… by a mysterious zebra from the Everfree Forest!”
The bat ponies collectively gasped.
“Is there a song?” Murk asked.
“You’ll have to wait and see.”
The bat ponies trotted off the balcony and took flight into the night, chattering excitedly about the next letter. Luna watched them go with a smile.
“Thank you for undertaking these instructions, lieutenant. I am finding these lessons helpful in learning about the modern world, as well. We did not have ‘s’mores’ in my day.”
“We can make them next time. I’ll bring the ingredients.”
“You are too kind. You are making a fine brother to the bat ponies.”
“Thank you, princess.”
“I’m sure you will also make a fine husband someday, as well.”
“I… uh… thank you.”
“I do not think Nocturn was being foolish when he suggested you court Lady Applejack.”
“Oh?”
“Do you not find her comely?”
“Does ‘comely’ mean pretty?”
“Yes.”
“I think she’s very comely.”
“And, as she is not employed here, you are not restricted from ‘dating’ her.”
“That’s true.”
“Would you like my help composing a love poem to her?”
“It’s just that… Applejack has a reputation in the farming community. Ponies ask her out all the time. She turns them all down. Some like to say that being rejected by Applejack is a rite of passage.”
“Oh? Has she given reasons for these rejections?”
“She just wants to focus on her farm.”
“Well, perhaps the rest of these letters will give us insight on how one may win her heart.”
“That feels like cheating.”
“All is fair in love and war, Radish Root.”
“But the Guard has rules of engagement for war.”
“Don’t be so literal.”
Murk flew back into the room. He spat a mouthful of writhing grubs onto the floor.
“Mistress! Will you cook these for us, as in the old days?”
Luna leaned backed, cringing. “That is now the Envoy’s duty. Radish Root, the kitchen is on the first floor.”
Radish held in a dry heave.
“Okay,” he squeaked.
“Thank you, Brother Radish! Could you pan-fry them in ketchup?”
“What? No. I have to draw the line somewhere.”
Big brother Radish is taking good care of his siblings.
wat
they realy are like her children
I feel like radish root will get some secondary work as the cook for exotic meals including meat at this rate if the cooking keeps up.
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Technically he's the little brother since the bat ponies are all much older than he is. Hence why they're picking on him.
11127806
Absolutely correct. But he's teaching them like an older brother. I also don't see how they're picking on him.
Aw, the bat ponies are adorable.
Luna shipping is the exclusivity of princess Candace, no starting shipping wars
thinking about it has she met Candace yet that could make some funny situations
lol
Clearly this is the correct answer! Or the RanchDressing shippers tell me...
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Dont know why, but my brain went "Exotic Butters" when I read your post. :P
Just got caught up on this one, I'm not really sure what I was expecting when I started reading it but, it wasn't what I got. This turned out to be a much deeper, and better, story than the impression the first chapter gave me. I don't mean the first chapter is bad either, but this just kept getting better as it went along. The idea of his cutie mark more or less turning him into a social pariah, and a notorious one at that, is sad but makes for a very interesting story. I also like how early in the timeline you started this, its fun to see things play out from his outside perspective of events. Struggling with an unfolding disaster and then its just suddenly all fixed and time to go back to work.
Then there's poor Luna, isolated in a tower and sheltered from anything that might "upset" her without her even seeming to be aware of it. Hardly surprising she latched onto the first novelty she sees. Really puts Radish in a tight spot too, obey every whim of the princess or get in trouble if she gets upset when he points out when something is inappropriate or a bad idea. Then he gets in trouble for them anyway, because that's not what a guards job is. All the mixed signals from Celestia and Luna can't be helping matters either.
Keep up the good work, this is a great story that feels like it got a good editing and clean up pass. I probably missed some somewhere but I cant recall any major grammar or typo mistakes that obviously jumped out at me. The posting rate is crazy consistent too, I didn't see it anywhere but was this written in advance? I feel like this deserves a better view count, hope it garners more attention over time, but I guess it takes time to build up a following. Can't wait to see where this goes from here, and how far into the timeline it ends up covering.
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I started writing this last summer. The upcoming Gen 5 encouraged me to finally put this out, before everything starts to shift to the new show. Releasing at least one chapter a week really helps me to focus on finalizing and proofreading each one. Getting everyone's feedback has also been a big help in realizing if some parts of the story need better clarity or emphasis.
I love the fact the four bat ponies are basically the MLP-fandom in condensed form.
yea
As a professional cook, this made me laugh
Don’t underestimate the power of ketchup
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Ranch Dressing ?!
Bwahaha!!
How have I never heard that before ??
Radish might as well have all M6 be his marefriends. He is a good guy for sure
... That might actually not be too bad.
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Boiling ketchup to fry breaded grubs? Idk… I think the sauce and frying medium could be improved upon with ketchup as a dipping sauce or enhancement post fry.
Seeing the friendship lessons be told like bedtime stories in a class is... very new for me. I like it though, it works very well.
Vesper is a shipper. I can't wait for her to meet Cadance.
Sick fuck. You fry those in mustard sauce
Nah, lather things in bbq sauce and stick em on a grill!