How far would you go to return to the life you once had?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Out of curiosity do you plan to pair Mitch with a pony, dog, dragon... ect?
11138479
I was wondering when someone would ask that.
Answers: A bit of all three below
A-All the above
B-None of the above
C-Perhaps some of the above, but you shall see.
11138503
You a darn troll....
11138504
Yeah, I am.
But on a more serious note answering this now would kinda be spoilers, but here's 2 hints:
1-NOT a dragon
2-Name isn't one of the tags because you can only have 5 tags and I ran out of them lol
11138525
Well with the title being what it is, im kinda hoping for a diamond dog... to be honest. I also thought that he'd be morphed by that pool but I see that didn't happen I just wonder what the complete list of side effects are gonna be from his soak.
11138529
Yeah, he kinda got dumped into the pool with no telling of what the side effects would be.
And yeah, there will be side effects. One does not simply become a magic man without drawbacks, especially when one gets said magic from a place of literal darkness
11138533
"Oh no, you just grew an extra hand!"
I have my hopes for what happens...
11138535
Well he still has 2 hands, the crystal one simply replaced the acid burned one.
And it will be interesting to say the least.
11138543
I wonder how deep into the body modifications you'll go with the side-effects
11138544
I'm going to try and keep physical change to a minimum, while making most side effects more mental and physiological.
It's hard to explain what I have in store without spoiling, so you'll just have to see
11138549
Which reminds me, did you have a planned update schedule or was it an update as you go?
11138551
I stated in the first or second chapter about a new chapter every one or two weeks, considering I have college and other things. But it shouldn't ever take any longer unless I'm injured or something.
11138555
My bad, I guess I skimmed over yhat
11138556
it's fine lol, I do the same when I'm writing.
I agree with what you wrote, which was well worded or clearly expressed.
But what happens next, my friend? Here I think I'll put on a cap with the inscription "Director".
Firstly, Zephyr POV, it was possible to start with deep thoughts. He is in an unenviable position, and he is uncomfortable. Maybe to cheer himself up a little, he would like to remember a couple of wonderful moments in his life. It is even possible to remember about his first love or some kind of dream that still stands far away from him. He may even remember his relatives, take for example Fluttershy, whom he has not seen for a long time. And in these reflections, you will be able to show the true attitude of Zephyr to this or that character.
(Remember, for example, how I wrote Autumn Blaze POV in chapter 29. It all started with reflections that showed how she felt about her new friends. At the same time, I took each of them separately, which resulted in a good amount of text, and thus the character became more open to the reader)
And while Zephyr is thinking, and sometimes openly expresses his dissatisfaction with his fate, (and this is for a moment, maybe a thousand words, if not more), Rex approaches him, and reminds him that you should not fall into a trance, but it's better to hurry up with collecting firewood.
And now I will have a friendly request to you, which is why I have been trying hard, since the "Era of Harmony", to convey my thought to you.
Close your eyes again and imagine a picture of this world, but only you are in the body of this character, and you start writing him a POV. Your mistake is that the first thing you start with is a dialogue (monologue). From this, the feeling of the character disappears immediately, and the text in the plot becomes a simple filler. Because of this, everything returns to the "Era of Harmony" style again. But, you need to start at least with the fact that you describe a little what you see in front of your eyes. Describe your surroundings and body sensations. Damn it! There may even be some birds flying by, which scared Zephyr a little, with their suddenness. Which is why Rex will show his reaction, and maybe laugh at poor Pegasus. Zephyr also responds to this grin with his reaction, and thus an emotional conversation appears in which your characters will seem more alive.
You know perfectly well that the author who writes in the first person (POV), for this period of time becomes this very character. That is, the author becomes an actor who accepts and gets used to a certain role.
I hope that my thought finally reaches you before the hair on my head turns gray.
P.S. You're talking about having problems with inspiration. But you could write a couple thousand words in one evening without setting yourself this task. You just need to relax and write as if you were Zephyr Breeze. Go to the mirror and look at your back! Imagine that you have pegasus wings, a disheveled mane and stubble on your chin. After that, look at this character again, and feel that you are looking at your photo from your memories. And now you're writing a memoir.
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"Thunder ruin me if I said something wrong!"
Brother, you know perfectly well that swearing by Luna's ass is not the best idea! It's a sin! However, it amused me.
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🤣Ahahaha! I swear, this is the funniest thing I could read! My face hurts from laughing like that... Pfft!
"(p.s: I'm on the fence about the whole Zephyr POV. If it's good, I might do it again soon. If not, then I'll just do Mitch.)"
You already know my opinion on this. Simply put, I didn't even notice the difference in this POV. Even if it was Mitch, it would be the same. So, I strongly recommend using the advice I wrote above.
And you know that I understand you perfectly. However, you should not give up, and you can write Zephyr POV exactly the way need, and to make this character more tangible, this applies not only to his manner of speech.
Honestly, I expected to see something more than 20 minutes of the characters' lives in this chapter. Well, it's not serious at all, writing such a small amount of text in a mature rating and.... again the same style that was in the last story. You've only expanded a little on the details that indicate actions during the dialogue. But that's not enough.
I swear, I am absolutely sure that every chapter can be turned into something more, and not to call such a chapter a filler. But in this chapter there could be a real Action in which Piper and Rex could show their combat and tactical skills (And just for God's sake, do not turn this into an Anime style in which the enemy will tell in detail what he is going to do next!!! I swear, it turns me inside out from this! Ahaha!).
And one more thing that's starting to worry me. Why in the name of all that's holy did you put another human in the plot? Here one is enough above the roof, and it still needs to be revealed and described, to build a world with this character, to build romance and so on.
Well, in general, I described to you in this comment all the details about what I think. The joke about Discord and the Zoo turned out to be very useful.
11138821
Thanks for the comment, friend!
Yeah, To be honest this chapter was meant to be short. It held the job of setting up the scene for the next one, where the four characters are forced into a more perilous situation on the frigid mountains. Though I did originally plan for it to be much longer, school got in the way and I split it with the next one.
As for the second human, I hinted at his arrival in the first chapter, considering he had a similar person come to him like Mitch did. Believe it or not, the character will be a side character, but one that does have his role to play.
Looking back at Zephyrs POV, I know now what I need to add to it when I do it again, and I will do so. Your advice does get to me, brother, it's just whether or not I can figure out how to apply it!
11138915
Oh, and by the way, a joke about a zoo. If of course it is understood correctly, then it was the whole zoo that had to fuck some bitch, so that Discord would appear later! Ahah...
Really? Adding more humans in already?
11144903
Well...its kinda complicated.
He's not a main character, and won't be shown too much, but he'll be more of a key person later in the story. As of right now he's just another person Discord signed on with those contracts of his.
Believe me, I'm not doing the bunch of humans at once thing for a bit...Era of Harmony burned me out of doing that for at least 3 fics worth of writing.
Nice to see the diamond dogs written like this
11197384
Honestly, they don't get enough attention. Figured I'd try to flesh them out.
There are a decent number of sentences in various chapters that are very incomplete, and they seem to be somewhat important in the scenes they’re in.
But I do like the story so far. It’s mysterious and adventurous.
11726958
Whenever I'm less busy, I plan on going over these and editing them, since a few of these chapters skipped the editing phase due to some time crunches.
Man, I'd get an editor but that process can suuuuuck