I thought I should tell you about my first opinion about your story. What can be more first than the description and image.

First thing, your OC is another 'black and red' OC (even though it's only in his mane). This is a pure cliche.

Second, it's a OC fic of another OC fic. One down is okay, but going one step down is getting kind of too much.

Third, your description is overflowing with mistakes and suffers from the 'wall of text' syndrome.
Fourth, IT'S A DESCRIPTION BOX, not an information one. You are supposed to add a description of your story, not a 'read it or be left in the dark'. This just pushes the readers away from your fic.

So, I might read it later, but I can't promise anything. Something I can give you, though, is this. This guy makes free cover pictures that looks more professional than Zoi's PC pictures. He's a cool guy, tell him Strawberry sent you ;)

~StrawberryFrosting

3125708 ok then, thanks for the heads up, I'll make editing changes ASAP

I like the H.I.V.E idea, I like the Gordon Freeman pony, and I like the everything.

3145126 thanks