Excommunication (April Fools 2021)
The Conversion Wars may be over, but the War of the Chosen have only just begun. Humanity and ponykind will soon face a new enemy.
An enemy unknown.
Ambassador Twilight Sparkle trotted alongside President Anthony Doyle and a retinue of armed guards down a long labyrinthine hallway that seemed to stretch on for miles. They were in an underground bunker some several hundred meters below the Earth’s surface at an undisclosed location in the heart of the North American midwest.
They were on a mission of the utmost importance: to oversee the creation and finalization of the world’s newest secret government defense program.
“...And you’re absolutely certain of this?” President Doyle asked, his voice laced with concern.
“I am. Celestia was nothing if not thorough, after all,” replied Twilight, telekinetically sifting through her carefully curated portfolio of important documents. She pulled out several sheets of handwritten parchment, the coarse edge on one side denotes that it had been torn out from a book of sorts. “These excerpts from her personal diary reveal everything. When she was scrying for new worlds beyond the borders of our home dimension your Earth was considered to be the least hostile out of a collection of inhospitable eldritch planes that dot the infinite celestial expanse to teleport Equestria to. That being said, it would appear that there’s more to this dimension than meets the eye.”
“You mean we’re not alone out here,” Doyle stated.
“Precisely that,” Twilight nodded. “Celestia was well aware of the fact that we’re not the only tenants in this neighborhood, so to speak. Far beyond the reaches of your solar system lies an alien race vying for supremacy across the stars. And if her notes are to be believed, they’re not as friendly as we were when we first met. In a few years time, they will reach the Earth after harvesting every other planet they come across.”
“And she was going to tell your people about this when exactly?” Doyle asked, raising an eyebrow.
“If I had to assume, some time after Equestria won the Conversion War. She had hoped that by then the barrier would've completely engulfed the planet, ensuring her ponies survival against anything that would seek to harm them,” replied Twilight, her expression one of irritation. “I wonder how many more secrets I’ll uncover that she hid from everypony now that she’s dead. But I digress. We have more important things to attend to.”
“I still can’t believe this,” said Doyle, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But I suppose we should both be accustomed to alien invasions by now. If we weren’t already predisposed with the Equestrian Freedom Fighters I’d like to think there really is some greater power out there screwing with us at every turn.”
“You joke, but that’s simply the reality of things,” quipped Twilight.
The entourage eventually reached the heart of the underground bunker. A set of high tech double doors slid open to reveal an impressive command center that, despite still being under construction, was packed to the gills with the latest in military and computer technology. In the center of the room, standing next to a holographic map of the planet Earth that flickered sporadically every few seconds was a Caucasian man in his mid thirties wearing a green tactical sweater. He was directing the construction efforts with a shocking level of efficiency in a way a maestro would conduct an orchestra.
“Central Officer Bradford!” Doyle addressed and the man snapped to attention at the drop of a hat. Everyone save for the construction workers followed suit, saluting in respect to their superiors. “At ease everyone.”
“Mister President, Ambassador Sparkle. We’ve been expecting you,” replied Bradford. “As you can see, construction efforts are currently underway and are going quite swimmingly if I say so myself.”
“Good man, Bradford,” Doyle nodded. “I should expect nothing less from our best and brightest.”
“You’re too kind, Mr. President.”
“When exactly can we expect the command center to be fully operational?” Twilight asked.
“Within the week, ma’am,” replied Bradford. “Aid from Equestria has made what would be a daunting task by human standards a breeze. You can expect my report on your desk sometime in the near future.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Twilight smiled. “And, where is this Commander I’ve been hearing so much about? I’ve heard he’s a veteran of the Conversion Wars.”
“I regret to inform you that he’s currently preoccupied at the moment. Paperwork. You know how it is,” said Bradford. “However, you are free to browse the rest of the facility at you leisure.”
“Who can we expect to come across down here?” asked Doyle.
Bradford directed his peers attention to a holographic map of the facility beside him. “Dr. Raymond Shen and Professor Moondancer are currently in the R&D workshop making sure all our manufacturing equipment is in working order. Over there you’ll find out where all our tech is being developed. If you go down the halls you’ll eventually reach the research labs. There you’ll find Dr. Moira Vahlen and her esteemed colleagues Junior Assistant Dr. Richard Tygan and Dr. Maud Pie conducting whatever research it is that they do down there.”
“Wait, Maud is here?” Twilight sounded shocked.
“You’re acquainted with her?” asked Bradford.
“She’s somepony I used to know,” Twilight began trepidatiously. “One who I assumed had been dead for years now.”
“I can assure you she’s alive and well. She just showed up one day out of the blue, provided her credentials and asked to join the defense project. Admittedly we were highly suspicious at first and only hired Maud on to keep tabs on her. However, she’s been a great help to the science team since then and a cursory background check managed to clear any and all suspicions linking her to the EFF, for the most part. She’s a strange one but she means well.”
Twilight smiled solemnly. “Sounds about right.”
“We should probably get going. Don’t want to keep our esteemed members waiting now, do we?” said Doyle as he gave another salute to Bradford. “Keep up the good work, Bradford. We’re counting on you to keep everything in order.”
“You can count on me, sir,” Bradford saluted back before returning to direct the construction efforts.
“Lily! Lily, no!” A balding middle aged man of Chinese descent chased a hyperactive little girl holding a spanner around a large unfinished aircraft. The man struggled to keep pace, cursing his physical aptitude as Moondancer stifled a giggle from escaping her lips.
“Need some help, Dr. Shen?” Moondancer quipped.
“I-I think some assistance would be greatly appreciated,” Dr. Shen muttered in between breathes.
Giggling, Moondancer used her magic to casually lift Lily off the ground and into the arms of her father. The little girl didn't resist, rather she threw herself into her father's arms with great intensity.
“Thank you, Moondancer,” replied Dr. Shen, snuggling his daughter. “And as for you, young lady. What did I say about running around with dangerous engineering equipment?”
“To-to make sure that I’m wearing proper protective equipment before doing so,” Lily babbled innocently. Dr. Shen sighed. That wasn’t the answer he was expecting but at the very least his daughter understood the importance of proper protection equipment in a hazardous work environment.
“We’re not interrupting anything, are we?” Moondancer and Dr. Shen turned to the source of the new voice and beheld President Doyle and Ambassador Twilight Sparkle approaching.
“Ah! Mr. President, Ambassador Sparkle. How nice of you to visit the R&D workshop. As you can see, this is where the metaphorical magic happens. Down here we are able to produce just about anything on a scale rivaling most factories worldwide. Everything is fully automated and ready to build at the Commander’s approval,” said Dr. Shen, setting his daughter down. “Lily, what do you say to the nice President of the United States and Alicorn Ambassador?”
“Hello! I’m Lily!” Lily exclaimed with an over exaggerated wave.
“I didn’t realize we were running a daycare center,” Doyle quipped. "Afternoon, Dr. Shen. Professor Moondancer. I see you've got your hands full at the moment."
“My apologies, Mr. President. The sitter called out at the last minute and I couldn’t just leave her alone,” replied Dr. Shen. "Keeping a hyperactive six-year-old in line while trying to build a multimillion dollar state of the art aircraft is... difficult, to say the least."
“She does keep things interesting,” Moondancer said with a smile before turning to face Twilight. Moondancer’s smile faltered slightly, but it appeared that despite their tumultuous history together she didn't harbor any animosity towards Twilight, something the latter was grateful for. “Hello, Twilight. You seem to be doing well."
“As are you,” replied Twilight, nodding politely. "So... lead professor of a secret government defense project? You've come a long way, Moondancer."
"It's not my first rodeo," replied Moondancer. "As for you, it mustn't be easy trying to hold together a nation held together by bent nails, duct tape and wavering trust."
"You learn to cope," Twilight uttered solemnly but regained her composure. "I need to be the leader Equestria needs now, more than ever."
"And you're doing a great job, all things considered. Keep it up."
"Say, wasn't Dr. Thalmann given an offer to join this defense project?" Doyle asked. "You'd think the man who helped to end the conversion war would be on board protecting the planet from hostile alien invaders."
"I'm afraid Dr. Thalmann was indisposed of at the time of his potential recruitment," said Dr. Shen, scratching behind his neck nervously.
Moondancer rolled her eyes, knowing exactly why the good doctor wasn't available. "He's on vacation in the Bahamas enjoying his retirement. When approached by government officials he told the recruiters, his words, not mine, 'Helping to repel one alien invasion was enough. Recruit my colleague, she's got a good head on her shoulders. Now let me enjoy my retirement you pencil pushing dumpfkopfs!' And here I am, standing in for him."
"Ever the cantankerous old fart, that man," Doyle chuckled. "By the way, that's one impressive looking ship you've got there. What is it about this aircraft that makes it so special?"
"Ah, what you are looking at is the Avenger. It's my pride and joy. Well, second pride and joy," replied Dr. Shen, turning to his daughter, face full of paternal pride. "What you're looking at is the world's first MCC, or mobile command center. In the event of invasion, we'll be able to deploy it around the globe as a secondary command center, allowing communications, reconnaissance and special operations to be performed around the globe. Currently it is under construction, but when it is done it'll be like having a fortress on wings."
"It'll be able to house an entire crew of dedicated specialists, soldiers included, several smaller transport vehicles and has a fully functioning lab and workshop to perform research and development out in the field," Moondancer added. "Of course, we'll be able to do all that here. But you know what they say, speed is the essence of battle."
"Impressive," Doyle whistled. "We'll need every advantage we can get, having a mobile base will help in that regard."
"Truly," said Twilight, staring in awe of the ship. "Technological marvels never cease to amaze me."
"Well, it seems you've got everything under control here. We'll leave you to it then, doctor, professor," said Doyle.
"Expect many more surprises upon your return, Mr. President, Ambassador," replied Dr. Shen.
"Bye bye!" Lily shouted.
"I've got plenty of blueprints I wanna develop!" Moondancer exclaimed excitedly. "Come on by and check em' out when you got the time!"
"Well, they were a colorful bunch," said Twilight as she trotted towards beside Doyle.
"I've got a feeling they're not the only ones like that around here," replied Doyle as the two entered the research labs together.
The research labs for the facility was every little bit as advance as the rest of it. But in exchange of large loader arms, lengthy conveyor belts and heavy machinery, the research labs was home to large chemical vats, tubes filled with glowing liquids and the acrid smell of chemicals wafting throughout the air.
In the center of the room was a woman speaking with a heavy germanic accent tuning some sort of device with help from a young dark skinned man. Beside them, her attention solely focused on a chunk of metal floating in front of her, was none other than Maud Pie, oldest sibling of the pie sisters and one of the remaining three left alive after the conversion wars.
“Dr. Vahlen, Dr. Tygan, Dr. Pie,” Doyle addressed in order of appearance, snapping the eccentric trio from their activities. “Afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.”
“Ah, Mr. President, ambassador Sparkle. We didn’t realize you’ve arrived,” said Dr. Vahlen. "Pardon the mess. The staff had only just finished unloading the first of the lab equipment and we haven't had much time clean up, let alone properly integrate them into the main power grid."
“In the mean time we’ve been hard at work adjusting the settings for what we do have,” replied Dr. Tygan as a wide smile formed on his face. “But once everything is up and running we should be able to develop great scientific wonders that will make those created during the Conversion War look like microwave ovens in comparison. Imagine the possibilities the greatest minds on the planet can achieve right here at this very spot.”
Dr. Vahlen rolled her eyes at Tygan’s unabashed enthusiasm. “Forgive my assistant’s attitude. He may be bright but he still lacks a level of professionalism worthy of his esteemed position. Fortunately we do have someone who is a bit more subdued with her excitement. Oh, Maud!” She called out to the gray mare. “Come introduce yourself to our guests.”
Maud set her clipboard down onto the table and trotted over to the group, her disposition was as unreadable as her expression. Ever the unflappable mare, her voice came out as neutral and indifferent when she greeted everyone.
“Good afternoon, President Doyle, Ambassador Twilight.” Twilight eye’s widened in mild shock when Maud addressed by her first name. “How are you liking the research labs so far?”
“It’s certainly something,” replied Twilight. “Makes my lab back at Canterlot look like grade school science lab.” She paused, hesitantly looking at Maud straight in the eye. “Is it really you, Maud?”
“Who else could it be?” Maud quipped dryly.
“I... I thought you were dead.” Twilight looked bemused. “Nopony has seen you in years.”
“That’s because I was preoccupied keeping my family together after Pinkie died. I had a lot on plate and rarely enough time to anything else. It’s enough to make ponies think you’ve died.”
“What made you want to join this project?” Twilight asked. “Seems a little out there for you to become a part in thwarting a potential alien invasion.”
Maud turn her gaze away from Twilight’s own, feeling shame welling up from within her gut. "...You're aware of what Limestone has been up to, aren't you?"
Twilight grimaced. Limestone Pie was the Equestrian Freedom Fighter's most volatile insurgent. Loud and violent, more than half of all bombings that's occurred over the past few years organized by the EFF were perpetrated by her sheer ruthlessness and complete disregard for collateral damage. The loss of her joyous sister in the bombing of Ponyville sent an already irritable pony over the edge, driving her to murder indiscriminately in the name of faith and family.
"I am," Twilight murmured.
"What she's doing is reprehensible," replied Maud. "I can't stop her, but I can at least contribute in some way to make up for her mistakes."
"So this is about penance," Twilight empathized.
"That's half the reason," Maud sighed. "The other half is because I know this is what Pinkie would've wanted me to do."
"What makes you say that?"
"Pinkie Pie hated the war. She never said it, probably couldn't out of fear of persecution, but she showed it from time to time. Her Pinkie senses practically gave her seizures on the daily. She knew something bad was going to happen but hid it from others as best she could. It eventually got so bad she started grinding muscle relaxants into her smoothies just to take the edge off. Honestly, by the time the invasion of Equestria started she was a shell of her former self. She used the last of her lucid thoughts to try and save the cakes, and, well, we all know how that ended."
Maud paused and took a deep breath, regaining her stoic composure. "What I'm trying to say is, I know for a fact Pinkie would want me to help others. All she wanted to do in life was bring smiles to people, both pony and human. I can do the next best thing: preserve those smiles."
"That's... unbelievably compassionate of you, Maud," Twilight breathed. "I didn't realize you had such a high opinion on humans either."
"Humans are like rocks," Maud answered simply. “They’re tough, able to change under pressure and there are lots of different kinds of them. Just like rocks.”
Twilight giggled heartily. “That’s exactly the kind of answer I would’ve expected from you, Maud.”
“This is a touching reunion, but unfortunately I think I’m going to have to cut this meet and greet a little short,” said Dr. Vahlen. “I just receive word from Central Officer Bradford that the Council is about to give their classified address and that all personnel are to report to the command center for this briefing. This means the ghost bullet demonstration for the new mage-lock weapon line will have to wait for the time being.”
“Ghost bullet? Mage-lock weapons?” Doyle sounded intrigued. “What woul-“
“Come along now, Mr. President. We mustn’t keep the Council waiting,” Dr. Vahlen shooed, hastily dragging along the president and her colleagues to the command center.
Twilight and Maud followed behind the group, quietly catching up with one another after so long. But before they left the research labs, Maud needed to ask one final question.
“Hey, Twilight,” Maud started. “If you can, do you think you can try and capture Limestone alive? I don’t know if ma and pa could handle having another one of their children die in a pointless conflict again.”
Twilight bit the bottom of her lip. This wasn't something she had full control over. Most of the efforts that went into hunting down the EFF were carried out by the UN counterterrorism taskforce.
In general, it was rare to catch prisoners. EFF members all had some method to preserve the secrecy of their organization in the event they were captured, either a cyanide pill lodged in a hollowed out false tooth for a quick death or magical countermeasures that wiped important details from their memories if they weren't too keen on going the suicide route.
Limestone Pie likely was no different in that regard. It would difficult, if not impossible to get the drop on somepony who'd sooner see the world burn once more than accept being captured by the enemy.
"I can't promise anything," Twilight sighed. "Limestone is a dangerous terrorist and a priority target with a kill on sight order against her. At best she'll receive a quick death. At worst, she do the deed herself if cornered."
Maud frowned but accepted her answer nonetheless. "All I can do is hope for the best, then," she murmured.
The command center was dark. All members of staff had gather around the large monitors that were recently installed on the upper walls of the facility.
Patiently awaiting onscreen were members of the Council, or rather their featureless silhouettes. They were shadowy representatives from every major nation in the world who act as trusted liaisons for their country of origin, all of which are cooperatively bankrolling the defense project off the records. Even Equestria was apart of the council as evident by the dark silhouette of an unicorn among one of the many monitors.
In the middle of the Council was the Councilman, the united voice of the representative who spoke on their behalf.
"Hello, everyone. You may all refer to me as the Councilman. I represent the combined interests of this project's benefactors as well as their voice in the matter," the Councilman began, his voice gravelly and rich with gravitas. "For the last six months we have been keeping an eye on everything going on here and it would appear that progress of the defense project has been achieved at a far greater rate than originally anticipated. The Council have high hopes for this, for in the event of another potential invasion you all will be our first and last line of defense against the hostile invaders, should it come down to it."
"May the one named, Twilight Sparkle, introduce herself to us?" It was more of a statement than a question. Twilight complied with the demand and trotted in front of everyone, standing before these shadowy individuals with her head held up proudly.
"I am Twilight Sparkle," Twilight greeted them unerringly.
"Miss Sparkle," the Councilman continued. "Six years ago, the Conversion Wars were ended through your surrender and ever since you have strove to bridge our species together to live in peaceful harmony, tirelessly undoing all the crimes your Princess Celestia had wrought throughout the bloody conflict. And now, you prove your willingness to maintain and safeguard your home once more through the creation of this defense project. For that, we are grateful."
"I made a commitment after the war to ensure that I would be better than my predecessor. I will not waver in my duties. Not now, not ever," Twilight declared adamantly. "This defense project will serve as the living embodiment of my principles. I hope conflict with this invading alien race could be avoided entirely, but in the event peace cannot be achieved we must be prepared to defend ourselves at all cost."
"An admirable stance, Miss Sparkle. You have the support of world behind you and those by your side. Only time will tell whether or not our contributions to this cause will be a worthy endeavor. When the inevitable ultimately arrives, the men, women, stallions and mares you've entrusted your hopes to will be all that stands between us and oblivion."
"I promise you, we will not let you down."
"Very good," the Councilman nodded. "But before we end this transmission, the Council is curious. Miss Sparkle, if I may ask, what will be the official designation of this project?"
Twilight's expression softened at the question. She looked around her, meeting eyes with the people she dedicated herself to.
President Doyle, Central Officer Bradford, Dr. Shen, his daughter, Lily, Professor Moondancer, Dr. Vahlen, Dr. Tygan, Dr. Maud, and way in the back she could see the Commander himself nestled beside the members of staff. Everyone watched her intently, silently awaiting the new name they will call themselves by. Smiling gently, she turned back to the Council.
She already had a name in mind.
Standing tall, she announced the name of the defense project that would safeguard the world.
"We are: XCOM."
- VIGILO -
\/
- CONFIDO -
/\
- CONCORDIA -
Stats
Page generated in 0.022 seconds
Total duration
845 users online
585,206 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting this when I read the chapter title, I love it nonetheless!
Oh. Oh, that makes more sense. I was just big dumb
Awesome surprise
Good one, both with the crossover and the chapter name. Does not even bother that its a ’joke chapter’.
Edit: moar of this AU perhaps? It sounds interesting...
Oh, damn was not expecting that, well done last minute reveal.
Regardless of being a joke chapter, I felt the talk between Maud and Twilight was well done and within her character. She’s likely one of the handful of ponies who actually understood Pinkie Pie and her world view. Meanwhile Limestone is also in character, being established as a hot head, likely suffering from some kind of disorder before all this, the PTSD has only made it worse. Also Pinkie turning to drugs to handle everything... it’s painful... but not improbable, heck maybe Celestia made “certain drugs” easier to get to keep the war effort going.
Even when you troll your audience, you still produce quality work, Bravo.
Xcom crossover? Huh never thought of that but cool
Awww... this reminded me of Mente Materia. Now I’m depressed.
(You know, THIS is an April Fools chapter I can definitely get behind. Very fun!
... Also, kind of inspiring. Has anyone done an XCOM/Conversion Bureau story yet?)
Happy April Fools to you too.
Okay, the central plot of this chapter threw me off, but then I remembered the date. This would make for an interesting AU, admittedly.
Wasn't expecting this. ^^
This just makes me wish Mente Materia and Ranger would update...
10749467
Yeah, Mente's over. It's been... what? Two years, now?
10749219
Someone has attempted it. They Captured Shining Armour alive in New York instead of killing him. What happened next was a third party invasion of the aliens.
This chapter is full of "who/whom-errors":
"Who is always the subject. "Whom" is the object of verbs and prepositions:
10900220
I'm still hoping for the best. Who knows, some stories in this site had a five years hiatus and somehow just came back with a vengeance.