Equestrian Science: A laboratory of epic proportions. With thousands of finished products and tools, how are they to test them? Paid Test Groups, of course! Run by the prestigious AI system ECCO and their CEO, they truly are the most successful Lab in Equestria.
When Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash decide to go to the Lab as paid testers for different reasons, they think its just a day trip to the laboratory, good pay, science, and adventure.
Oh, they couldn't be more wrong.
***
My first Fic. I will be looking for pre-readers or proof readers, if anyone's interested. PM me if interested.
Rated Teen for mild violence/language.
Constructive Commentary/Criticism wanted! Please, go all out in your reviews.
Chapters (3)
Well, here it is. Constructive Commentary, please!
I'll take a look at this later, but first...
Well, you might want to take a closer look at the title of the first chapter.
The Art of the Sandwich? Loudspeaker? I see what you did there
i.imgur.com/IqJy6.png
1210928
Dude...
Summer's almost over.
I'll read it in a second, but it says you're looking for proofreaders. So I'd like to volunteer.
EDIT: Or I could be the editor or something.The chapter isn't spelled right, and I found a few mistakes here and there.
yo medic!
medic: JA!
come take a look at this
medic:ja.....ahhh ze great wall o textz ohhhh dumpkoffs
he face palmed
ya i know i better help this guy i used to be like him but then i took a school to the knee
okay dude the 4 words says it all i help ya to make this better the story i could probly help with im on every day and ill get started on editing this that k dude?
Nice chapter although the title seems off. I would volunteer to be a proof reader though. It sounds promising.
This story is great! Only one or two spelling mistakes, it explained things in perfect detail, and it doesn't leave out any characteristics they have.
I give you 4/5 Cloudchasers.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png
1210988
I'm not sure if you're in a fit state to be editing anything...
hmmmm true but i can make it so it's not a great wall of text at least would that help?
gamingbolt.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Portal-meme-thumbnail.jpg
Loving the idea. I'm excited to see the next chapter. Keep it up!!
I'll preproofeditread. Seems like an interesting idea.
I can't say I was expecting this good of a response...it's nice to see everyone likes this! Minus a few spelling mistakes XD
1210973>>1210988>>1211160 I'll let you all proofread. A word of warning, however, I HAVE NOT started Ch2
1210945 Reall? I don't. And to spoil anything, but...there'll be more Loudspeaker.
1211232 no prob ill get started on spacing in the morning i have to go to sleep im in aus so it's.....oh wow as soon as i just typed aus it turned 12 am on the dot midnight night guys
Thanks! The spacing problems are because I copied-pasted this from Word 2007. Am I not supposed to do that?
1211232
Well okay then, that just mean I hit tf2 too hard for my own good
Nah, it's fine.
If anyone wants to spread word of this story around, please do! I'd like to get as many readers as possible.
Edit: Fixed Chapter 1's title!
1211281
It's actually much more preferred if you edit it on the website, as the format comes out exactly the same as the one you typed. Word however, does not.
1211454
.
I'll spread it around. I'm sure a few people will acknowledge it
1213026
Thanks! I'm working on Chapter 2, "Welcome to Equestrian Science!" right now, on the site this time. I'll send it to you when I'm done. Which I'm not.
Sounds interesting. 1213026 brought me here, so you better thank him.
1213231 Well, glad to see you liked it.
Burrito, I thank you much for another reader!
And then GlaDoS
THY END
Oh, and...favorite !
1211232
Cool. I like to call it 'preproofeditreading' though.
1217505
No GLaDOS, no Wheatly. I don't like spoilers, but there's a giant Russian AI named VLaDIMIR.
Chapter 2 is done, I have a few people proofreading it right now.
This is Chapter 2. Duh. Big title card at the beginning. Might be on other chapters, might not. Chapter 3 will be up whenever I'm done with it. I'm not giving and estimates. They make things harder.
So tell me what you think!
P.S. Thanks to CookieMonstar for proofreading!
My goodness, what a charmingly delightful story, with little to no errors in writing in this chapter! One must have a particularly talented- not to mention witty and handsome- editing team!
... Oh. Wait.
1226745fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/246/c/9/are_you_serious__by_warlordpete-d5dhfwv.png google.com.au/imgres?q=are+you+serious%3F+mlp&um=1&hl=en&safe=active&sa=G&biw=1093&bih=538&tbm=isch&tbnid=kaFiDMv6Ki0TeM:&imgrefurl=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx%3FpostID%3D69112375&imgurl=http://mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2047-93325_-_guard_pony_rarity_serious.jpg&w=960&h=540&ei=6aRIUOP5G828iAeSvYGoDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=534&vpy=2&dur=2028&hovh=168&hovw=300&tx=162&ty=182&sig=101074812789370068055&page=1&tbnh=136&tbnw=242&start=0&ndsp=10&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:0,i:79 google.com.au/imgres?q=are+you+serious%3F+mlp&um=1&hl=en&safe=active&sa=G&biw=1093&bih=538&tbm=isch&tbnid=8c277qKWUFC55M:&imgrefurl=http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/1128612-ragnarok-chapter-5/page__st__100&imgurl=http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/b30b908553b365472fd9eaa096f37054/135047%252520-%252520are_you_fucking_kidding_me%252520Baby_Cakes%252520baby_pony%252520diaper%252520pound_cake%252520pumpkin_cake%252520serious.png&w=640&h=360&ei=6aRIUOP5G828iAeSvYGoDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=622&vpy=158&dur=1775&hovh=168&hovw=300&tx=145&ty=192&sig=101074812789370068055&page=2&tbnh=119&tbnw=211&start=10&ndsp=14&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:10,i:129
Trixie ?
Chapter 3! Woot!
Sorry for the wait, I guess? But sorry anyway. I've been busy and didn't get around to this until around Wednesday.
GOD SO MUCH FORESHADOWING. So much in this chapter that'll mean so much later...Grah! I can't spoil anything!
And big thanks to CookieMonstar, my only preproofeditreader that ever seems to get around to editing for me.
The writing seems to be better than last chapter, no offence. It's shaping out to be a really exciting story.
Its better than the last chapter because I've been reading some H.G. Wells. Hell of an author, that guy. I'm trying to take up the descriptive writing style he used in The Time Machine.
1293683
Yes, Derpy. She's in this. I couldn't resist. She IS the science.
DEEEERRRRRPPPPYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
