The Side Character is a Deer

by Deergenerate

Chapter 32: New Homes

Derek let out a long whistle as he looked up at his new place. A small double decker home, white walls with brown support beams, yellow hay roof. It wasn't much compared to the rest of the town, just a normal house, but it was still bigger than anything he had ever lived in before. Barring Twilight's castle, but that wasn't really his house.

The same could be said for Johan, as he stared at his own identical home right next door. His mother's home, if you could call it that, was just a small 4 room condo, which consisted of a bathroom, a kitchen, and two bedrooms. And now he had been handed a free two story house basically just for existing. To say it wasn't exciting would be an understatement, though there were a couple small issues he was noticing...

"Thatched roof eh..." he said, frowning slightly. He felt the slight zapping of lightning dancing between his antlers, filling him with a niggling feeling of... apprehension. "That seems like a fire hazard."

The deer turned to the others that had joined them for the new house unveiling. It was him, Derek, Rarity, Pinkie, Twilight and Spike. Derek had intended to get the rest of their friends, but they had all been rather busy. He had convinced them to come over in a couple hours for a house warming party though, and Pinkie was all too happy to stop what she was doing to come help set it up.

"Oof, don't I know it brother," Spike sighed, a blush came to his face as he remembered several rather close calls he had in the past.

"It certainly was before Twilight showed up in town, but thankfully with her around we've been able to enchant all the thatch in town to be mostly fireproof," Rarity replied, turning over to him with a bemused look.

"Plus the magic makes the hay taste really tingly," Pinkie Pie chuckled. Everyone turned to her, unsure of whether she was joking or not.

"Ur... right. Have to remember that that stuff is edible to me now." Johan chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

"Well, yeah. But it is rather... dirty," Rarity grunted, curling up her lip slightly.

"I can imagine," Derek said, looking up at the sky. "You know, rain and all."

"And bugs," Spike said, sneering slightly. "Good thing I eat gems and stuff, don't got to worry about worms in apples or anything."

"I... how hard are your teeth man?" Johan gasped, jaw dropped, but Derek silenced him.

"Let's not worry about that right now! Let's talk about our new houses, man!" Derek laughed, pulling the deer closer with a foreleg around his shoulder.

"That's fair," Johan said with a slight chuckle, turning his head back to the house - his house.

That felt weird to him, to be able to say that. His entire life he had lived with his mother, never even imaging he'd one day have a place this big to call his own. In reality, he had always assumed he'd end up on the streets or in a small one room apartment that he had to share with six other people. But no, now he had a full on out house. A sudden feeling of guilt grabbed him by the heart. He grit his teeth slightly, turning to Derek.

"I don't think I deserve this place," Johan sighed. All eyes instantly turned to him. "I mean, you did all the work, I didn't even really do anything. Not anything important that is."

"Wha? Man, you did plenty," Derek chuckled turning to Twilight. "I mean, we wouldn't have gotten the elements to Twilight without you."

"Yeah, but it's not like they did anything," he said, looking away from him.

"There was the statue though Johan," Twilight said a smile coming to her face. "It was your idea to use teleportation to stop it after all."

"Yeah... I did do that didn't I," Johan said, smiling slightly. "You know what? Yeah, I did earn this house."

The deer straightened his back slightly, standing tall. He was stopped, however, when a sudden thought filled his head, he quickly turned to Derek. "So, did the mayor mention if these houses were coming pre-furnished or not?"

Derek opened and closed his mouth several times before gritting his teeth. "No... They gave us a bed, a table to eat at, a bathroom and a kitchen in both houses, but that's about it."

"Yeah, these two are brand new, I'm surprised they even got those in there before giving them to you," Spike replied, shaking his head slightly.

"Yeah, she did mention that when she gave me the deeds," Derek trailed off.

"Well I guess an empty house doesn't sound too bad," Johan groaned.

"Yeah, it means you get to decide the layout of the place yourself," Pinkie said, bouncing towards the front door to Derek's house with a wide smile.

"Yeah, see? Always a bright side to everything," Derek responded, winking over to the deer before quickly following after the pink pony.

Johan simply stared at the two of them as they walked forwards. "I wish I was better at seeing it," Johan sighed.

"Still, they are right about us being able to design the layout ourselves," Spike laughed. "Here, let's go inside, I might be able to help you find some places to put things, maybe sketch up some blueprints and stuff."

"You know, I'd actually like that," Johan said, turning to walk towards the door, with the purple dragon following closely behind. "I can't draw to save my life with hooves."

Twilight and Rarity both watched them enter their respective homes, before they turned and nodded to one another.

"Well, I have to get back to the boutique, the dresses won't make themselves," Rarity nodded. "See you at Pinkie and Derek's party later?"

"You bet! I have to get back to working on a lesson plan for Derek though. Johan was very adamant that I train him, and since yesterday's training went off without a hitch, I'm excited to plan some more advanced lessons." Twilight responded with a smile, before she too took her leave, taking to the air.

Comments

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

"I... how hard are you're teeth man?" Johan gasped, jaw dropped, but Derek silenced him.

Should be "your" teeth. In English, nouns indicate possessive form with an apostrophe. Pronouns do not. Pronouns usually have valid contractions so Spell Check doesn't catch the mistake. It's a valid word but not the right valid word.

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

"Still, they are right about us being able to design the layout yourselves," Spike laughed. "Here, let's go inside, I might be able to help you find some places to put things, maybe sketch up some blueprints and stuff."

"Us" = 1st person
"Yourselves" = 3rd person
You need to change 1 of them so they match.

[Okamiluver]

11455702

I'll give it the benefit of the doubt, so I'll not write the story off quite yet but I'll wait a while before I re-engage this story. I just got fed up with how Johan was being treated bat that point, so I need to cool off and then try again.

[Deergenerate]

11455536

11455539
Man, I made a lot of mistakes this chapter huh? XD

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

11456054
You can get a free proofreader from The Proofreader Group. For short chapters it shouldn't delay you more than a day or 2.

Also, click on groups, arrange them by membership, & go down the list, joining as many as will let you post your story in their group. You will (hopefully) gain a few readers.

If you want, you can quit after posting your story so you won't get too many notifications.