Chapter 168: Trial
Back when Bowser was defeated…
A portal appeared in front of a giant floating white left hand, and from it came a less than happy Bowser.
"So, that suuure went great…" the hand said with totally not obvious sarcasm.
"And who's fault is that, Crazy Hand!? This supposed 'ultimate power' wasn't enough!" Bowser complained.
"Oh no it wasn't! I may be crazy, but don't take me for a fool. You wanted to crush those plumbers and I made sure to give you enough so there was NOTHING they could pull off to stop you. Not my fault you didn't know how to deal with the interlopers," Crazy Hand answered. "What's the deal with them anyways? I must say, I was impressed how they trashed you like that even with what I gave you."
Bowser grit his teeth in anger, but he eventually responded.
"Hell if I know. One day the yellow one dropped out of nowhere and started messing with my plans and assisting those pesky plumbers, then suddenly the other two came with her! I mean sure, They did appear at a convenient time to stop some triangle-headed buckos, but now they're gone it’s just more problems for me!"
Crazy Hand looked at Bowser as he rambled on about how much he despised the trio of fillies, and eventually lost interest in whatever he was saying. Instead he turned around and opened a window portal to check the place where Bowser was defeated, hoping to catch more about them.
Fortunately for him, he actually managed to catch the fillies just as they departed from Bowser’s castle on an airship they stole with the Mario Brothers and Princess Peach.
He silently observed for many minutes, listening as they talked about Bowser and him, mentioning an “alliance”, then arrived at Peach's castle where the princess talked about an alternate universe, then Phantom received a call (Crazy couldn’t hear what the caller was saying), then they separated. Eventually, Crazy Hand began to say, "Interesting… Very, very interesting… Oí, Koopa Monarch! Quit your talk and come look here!" before he pulled Bowser close with an invisible force and put him in front of the window portal.
Bowser was about to say something about being rudely Koopa-handled before he saw through the window portal how Phantom was loading some kind of machinery and pieces onto the airship stolen from Bowser with a team of creatures he never saw before they took off and flew in a certain direction.
"Eh? Where is she going with all that junk?" he asked confused.
Crazy Hand manipulated the window portal to see where Phantom was heading at her current trajectory, and, after a while, showed Donkey Kong Island.
"Huh, now what in the Star's name does she want with the primates, if this is really where she is going?"
"That's exactly what I want to know. An “alliance” was mentioned. Prepare the best you got in spies. I want to keep tabs on them very closely… And if we are lucky we will even know where she and her friends come from! " Crazy Hand said with glee.
"Prepare yourselves little ones, I am on you now… Muahahahaha!"
Elsewhere in the Omniverse… Later…
In a dark room, two reptilian-like beings were unceremoniously thrown onto a cool floor. Both started to get up while groaning.
"Ugh… Was that really necessary? You could have been gentler…" the first one, a crocodile with a crown and a red cape said.
"Shut up, utter fool… You’re making it worse for us with your complaining…" the second one, a purple space dragon, said while he stood up.
Both of them looked around to see that they were in a completely dark room except for a single light cast above them.
Then, another light was cast somewhere else far away revealing another individual.
"Well well well~. Looks like some overgrown lizards got naughty. And you know what that means… Time for some Spanks!" Porky Minch said, sitting on an ornamented chair.
"Mph, such a childish threat. Let me at them and I will show you some real punishment," A way more grave voice said, and another light lit up opposite of Porky's.
There, on an identical, bigger chair sat none other than Ganondorf himself. This, however, wasn't the same incarnation of the Gerudo King, as this one wore a different outfit and had a different hairstyle, including a beard, along with a different body. This Ganondorf would later come to be referred to as 'Twilight Ganondorf'.
"Bah, what purpose would that serve? The resources they wasted would stay so! I say we should put them to good work for the rest of their lives!" another voice said, and another light appeared in the room. This time revealing the hologram of Andross's head.
"Mmm, I really don't care either way," another voice said just beside him. The light revealed that this was none other than Wolf, representing his band of mercenaries.
"Ohh how little vision you have there. I for once agree with the floating head: I already have ideas flowing for how to use their bodies with some… modifications. Maybe with them I could finally get rid of that damn hedgehog!" Present Eggman said, a light revealing him in yet another chair.
"Heh, I like your style, old man." Porky said from his place.
"Pfff, how the two of you believe they're of any use is beyond me: their flesh is nothing against the certainty of steel and software! Why bother doing anything with them!?" another voice, and another light, this time revealing another scientist. This one was a middle-aged man with clear skin, a prominent chin, bushy gray eyebrows and mustache and with a bald top head and gray hair at the sides. He wore a white scientist coat and shirt with a red tie with blue jeans and brown shoes. This was none other than the mad scientist Albert W. Wily or Dr. Wily for short.
"H-hey! Genetics are totally valid too! Don't underestimate what a good mutant is able to do!"
This time, the light revealed a familiar short man with yellow skin and an oversized head with a N on his forehead. Dr. Neo Cortex.
"Shut up. Don't think you got any right to go around sharing your rather unimportant opinion with your track record, doctor," the voice beside Cortex said, turning out to be a sentient, floating giant tribal mask of great power known as Uka Uka. "And don't think you’re any better, N. Tropy. It Is rather baffling that even with control over time itself you still can't get rid of the meddlesome Bandicoot."
"Ok, first of all, rude. Second of all, you ALSO didn’t manage to beat him when you confronted him, so it's not like you’re better than us on that front," the so-called N. Tropy said from Uka Uka's other side.
"God, all this talk-can we get on with this already? I would rather if this didn't drag on more than necessary," the last of the mysterious Voices said impatiently. Sitting on his own chair was Black Shadow, in his dark purplish attire with horns and a long black cape, along his pointed and split boots that made him resemble a bull.
Everyone was seated in a circle surrounding both Ridley and King K. Rool. And above them a last light revealed what seemed like the seat of a judge. And from the light descended Master Hand himself, beside him stood a figure in an ornate robe on a floating mechanical platform, the Ancient Minister.
"Yes. I believe that's enough introduction, and there’s much to do still-specifically, cleaning the mess these two just made of this army. So without further ado,"
Master Hand then summoned a gavel and grabbed It.
"I declare the military trial of Ridley and King K. Rool started," he said and then slammed the gavel in the sound block, producing a loud noise and officially starting the trial.
"Minister, the opening statement," Master Hand said and the Ancient Minister nodded.
"TODAY, WE ARE REUNITED TO JUDGE RIDLEY AND KING K. ROOL FOR THE CRIMES OF MISHANDLING ARMY'S RESOURCES, DEFYING ORDERS AND PERFORMING POOR TACTICAL DECISIONS THAT LEAVES US EXPOSED TO OUR RIVAL FACTION 'THE ALLIANCE' PUTTING AT RISK THIS ENTIRE ARMY'S MISSION."
Master Hand for his part looked at both of them in silence. He then pointed at them with his gavel, "And you two, how do you declare yourselves in front of these crimes?"
K. Rool was quick to blurt out, "I-innocent! Completely innocent! It’s all a misunderstanding you see…!"
At that, a few like Porky couldn’t help but snicker maliciously while others like Ganondorf simply glared.
"Ridley?" Master Hand Asked next, seeing him with his head down.
Ridley then suddenly lifted his gaze, quickly looking at each of the officers of the Subspace Army before looking at Master Hand.
"Guilty of all charges," he said simply.
At that most looked at him with surprise, and even Porky whistled a bit.
"Lizard got a brain…" he thought amused.
"Mmm, I see," was all Master Hand offered as a response. "Then, let's present the evidence of these charges."
"Oh, with pleasure!" Porky said with a big smile as he pulled out a remote control and pressed a button, making holographic pictures appear in the middle of the room.
"See, back then I was quick to notice one of the Galleons had gone missing from the storages, and it was easy to track the last person that entered before it had gone missing… That is you, Mr. Crocodile~"
King K. Rool gulped and tried to say something. "W-well I… You see the thing is… Uhh…"
"But anyways, where this one lost one Galleon… Mr. Purple Dragon got TWO of them destroyed!" Porky said smirking to Ridley.
He met his gaze right back.
"But there's something to note about this incident however." Wily was the one to speak next, and the images in the hologram shifted to show the silhouettes of the three Galleons that got destroyed. One was colored red, while two were gray.
"Only a single one of them was actually manually activated, while the other two weren't. So despite the major loss, it is true that this Ridley fellow stuck to orders of merely storing them," he said.
At that, Ridley took the chance to talk. "Of course, I know the importance of this army's resources. I wouldn't just foolishly use them carelessly without confirming if it is fine to do so," he said with a grin, side-eyeing King K.Rool who glared at him.
"Now, why you little-!" he was about to say before a loud BLAM was heard across the room.
"Order. You all will remain civil in this trial or I will make you," Master Hand said after slamming the gavel In the sound block.
"Next to discuss is how both of you made horrendous tactical decisions that left us all looking like fools!" Andross shouted angrily. "First you Ridley: care to explain why you deliberately stole that… thing," Andross said as the hologram presented the images of the baby Metroid. "and made yourself a target? You wouldn't be in this mess if you kept hiding until you were told it was the moment to act!"
Ridley for his part didn't say anything at first, but eventually he spoke. "Look, that wasn't actually my fault. Mother Brain forced me to do her bidding. I was powerless to her and thus I had no option but to get the last Metroid for her that Samus Aran had left alive. Yet, to be fair, I was aptly prepared for the arrival of that bounty hunter… but I wasn't ready to deal with that demon in infant skin," Ridley said, a little shiver going through him at the last part.
"Pffff BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh don’t tell me you're afraid of that little horsie! I can't-hahahaaa!" Porky couldn’t stop laughing, kicking his feets on the chair.
"Grrr, EASY TO SAY WHEN YOU CAN'T DIE, DAMNIT!" Ridley roared.
"But if you were able to run away, Why didn't you do so earlier?" Present Eggman inquired.
"Her control was too strong. It was only when she got distracted with the heroines that my survival instinct was able to repel her control," Ridley lied as naturally as he breathed.
"Regardless of any of that, the most aggravating thing in my eyes is that you dared to run away. You call yourself a warrior if you just left without a fight!?" Twilight Ganondorf called out.
"Hell no! Screw that warrior mentality-nonsense! Can't keep count of the many idealistic fools I have crushed the skull of that came at me with that mindset. I am and will always be just one thing: a survivor. I kill to live and live to kill more. That's the only rule I have followed my entire life, and will keep doing so until my bitter end."
"Mmm, gotta agree. Nothing matters in the end if you get killed," Present Eggman nodded.
"Yeah I agree too," Willy said.
"And me!" Cortex said.
"Spineless cowards, the lot of you," Twilight Ganondorf grunted.
"FINALLY, THE LAST THING TO ADRESS ABOUT RIDLEY'S FAILURE IS THE GENERAL LOST OF RESOURCES. THIS INCLUDES:
-THE TWO AFOREMENTIONED GALLEOM UNITS. CONSIDERATION WILL BE PROVIDED SINCE ORDERS WERE TECHNICALLY FOLLOWED AND EXECUTED.
-THE LOST OF ALMOST THE ENTIRETY OF THE SPACE PIRATES. CONSIDERATION WILL BE PROVIDED SINCE MOST LOSSES WEREN’T OF THE SUBSPACE ARMY ITSELF.
-THE BREACH OF VITAL INTELLIGENCE ABOUT THE SUBSPACE ARMY'S VARIOUS MODELS OF SOLDIERS AND COMBATANT, PROVIDING THE ENEMY OF VALUABLE INFORMATION ABOUT OUR WEAKNESSES."
"Wait! That last one- if memory serves, wasn't it reported that this buffon also let intel to be retrieved about the Army!?" Ridley unashamedly excused.
"GASP! How dare you!? You wanna fight, isn't it!?" King K.Rool said and was about to jump at Ridley, but a quick glance at Master Hand and his gavel raised high in the air menacingly quickly discouraged him.
"Didn’t the horsie and the blond chick also retrieve way more detailed info from the database of YOUR base?" Porky pointed out.
For once, Ridley was at a loss of words. Nothing he came up with sounded good enough to get him out of this one.
"...Alright, I've heard enough. I am ready to declare the first verdict of this trial to the accused Ridley," Master Hand said with finality.
Ridley started to get desperate, trying to come up with anything, trying from any angle, but it was useless. The cunning god of death had the mind blank. Nothing seemed to be able to get him out of his fate. And at his side, King K.Rool couldn't help but smirk.
"Ridley, by my authority as Supreme Commander of the Subspace Army. I declare you are sentenced to be demoted from your current rank and penalized. Black Shadow, you now are in charge of Ridley's previous Rank," Master Hand said and loudly slammed his gavel.
"Hell Yeah!" Black Shadow shouted in victory.
All at once, it was like Master Hand's words returned Ridley's soul to his body."...what?" Was all he managed to say.
"You’re free to go now, Admiral. Do remember you’re not getting off this easy if you dare fail me a second time," Master Hand said, letting the gavel down for a moment before snapping his fingers.
A hole appeared just below Ridley without much of a warning, he promptly fell without time to use his wings. The hole closed as soon as Ridley disappeared in it.
"Now, upon the judgment of the second accused," Master Hand said, taking back his gavel.
King K. Rool looked blankly at the hole that Ridley disappeared into.
"So… that's it? If you’re found guilty you just get demoted??" he said, feeling relief fill him.
That's not so bad. Sure, it sucks that now I'm gonna have even less authority but well, I can handle it… he thought.
To his dismay however, his hope was a short-lived one as Porky's loud laughter filled the room once more.
"HAHAHAHAAA!....my oh my, you sure are a SLOW one ain't you?"
K. Rool started to get nervous again."W-what do you mean!?"
This time now it was Wily who couldn’t help the chuckles that escaped him. "Did you seriously forget the very start of this entire trial? Ridley already declared himself guilty from the start! His wasn't a case being made of whether he was guilty or not!"
"... Huh? Then what was it for!? Why show and tell all that about his errors!?" King K. Rool demanded to know.
Present Eggman rubbed his hand over his face, tired, fed up with the crocodile's cluelessness. "Sentence reduction. By declaring himself guilty of all charges from the very start, Ridley transformed his trial from one about proving his guiltiness to one to reduce and mitigate his sentence, a thing that he successfully accomplished. Damn you really never got arrested before haven’t you? Then again, I doubt most here would have."
"You on the other hand declared yourself innocent, thus you shall be judged to prove so. And in case you fail and are found guilty, you face the full sentence," Twilight Ganondorf said with finality.
King K. Rool went to multiple shades paler in an instant.
He looked at everyone around him. Some looked at him with amusement, hiding a sadistic glee. Others with stoic neutrality, their eyes glaring and judging.
At that moment, the full scope of his hopeless situation landed at last on his mind.
"... A-and…"
Mere moments after this Trial…
"What w-would…that s-sentence b-be?..."
King K. Rool would come to realize that, in more ways than one…
"... Heh, yeah Mr. Hand Boss, why don't you tell us Croco-King's fate if he's found guilty~?" Porky said, his grin so wide it threatened to split his face.
Master Hand, in turn, only uttered a single word. Unmoving, uncaring.
"Death."
He was the one to dig up his own grave from the start.
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Interesting jury lineup. Part of me hopes to see Masayoshi Shido join that council someday.
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townsquare.media/site/34/files/2023/01/attachment-Screen-Shot-2023-01-09-at-7.03.26-AM.jpg?w=980&q=75
By the time he's relevant, there will be no Subspace army, I'll tell you that much from behind the scenes.
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I'm not even sure if he will ever be relevant. Not sure yet what I will do with Persona, but the story may take place after the game.
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Fair enough.
So Twilight Ganondorf IS a thing. That actually really, really helps with something I was hoping to PM you about later, but now...now I don't need to. Now I'm half glad I waited until now to try and write some today even though it's basically sleep time for me. (I can't really sleep right now though).
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Try to get some sleep dude.
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Please tell us that you have a plan for King K. Rool in Super Smash Bros Ultimate? It wouldn't be the same without him.
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Answer next chapter.
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It's worth repeating that the Subspace Emissary's Legend of Zelda representation was entirely from Twilight Princess. Toon Link was basically a bonus character who didn't show up at all in the story proper.
I mean, he does deceit surprisingly well for his size.
A typo and i think i can suggest a small tweak to this:
Ridley for his part didn't say anything at first, but eventually he spoke. "Look, that wasn't actually my fault. Mother Brain forced me to do her *bidding*. I was powerless to her and thus I had no option but to get the last Metroid for her that Samus Aran had left alive. Yet, To be fair, I was aptly prepared for the arrival of that bounty hunter… but I wasn't ready to deal with that demon in infant skin," Ridley said, a little shiver going through him at the last part.
(Just thought to let you know.)
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Thanks.