Overture
"Either you dash the rainbow or the rainbow dashes you."
Graphs
***
The contestants were still trickling into the lounge at a maddeningly slow pace. It was the opinion of the event's co-host that there be a bullet point on the flyer telling everyone to arrive early.
To which Vinyl Scratch replied, "Dude, why?"
For two reasons. "Everyone" because there were other flying creatures in Equestria that were not necessarily equines. Second, so this exact situation would be avoided. Cloud walking was just starting to catch on, so not all pegasi were too comfortable with earth ponies and unicorns invading the previously unreachable heavens, even if their hoofhold was precarious at best. There were mumbles amongst the the crowd. "Weird" and "earth pony" were popular terms to bring up, evidently.
"Typical," remarked Octavia under her breath with a roll of her eyes.
Not only were they concerned with the species of their co-host, but they were also perplexed by her demeanor. Flight competitions were dominated by those laid back types who couldn't bring themselves to care about messy hair, manners, or bathing. The prim and proper pony before them could only be described as culture shock.
The mare counted down with each head that entered. She'd gone and remembered their final turnout just for this occasion. Somepony had to be the organized one, and it sure as hell was not going to be Vinyl.
Just four more. Aaaand there they are. Finally. Octavia cleared her throat and waited for everypony to quiet down. One brown pegasus in particular would not cease his jabbering. A quick dose of the evil eye put a stop to that, however.
"Good evening, everyone," said the grey pony with the melodic voice from atop a box. "I'm glad we could all make it. We've got a number of things to take care of before the show can begin, so just give me your attention for a bit. The issue of your flight order will be taken care of with our opening, a twenty lap race around the stadium track. Each pair must decide who will fly and who will wait with the audience. The one who finishes first will perform last, second will perform second to last, and so on."
The room erupted into whispers, presumably concerning which pony would be flying. Of course, they may have simply taken the time to chat now that their supervisor had permitted them to speak. Pegasi just love to run their mouths.
"You wanna do it?" asked Dash.
Blitz shrugged. "Doesn't really matter to me. Pretty sure we're on the same level."
"Do you think you'll have another fainting episode?"
"They don't seem too bad anymore. Just little headaches when I see or think something. I'm not too sure though."
"I'll take it, then. Wouldn't want you falling all that way."
"That would suck," he said, nodding.
"No water down there either."
"Yeah. Yeah. I get it. Could of done without that thought."
Behind them, two ponies listened inconspicuously to the discussion. Despite their popularity among the crowd, Spitfire and Soarin managed not to be noticed by any more of their supposed fans. It's not as if the mare's bright yellow coat stood out in the sea of vibrant colors, but one might expect at least a couple ponies to pay attention to faces.
They couldn't bring themselves to care, though. They were too busy frantically agreeing with each other.
"I'll do it!" whispered Soarin hurriedly.
At the same time, his partner murmured, "You should do it!"
"Yeah. Your part is a harder than mine. You should save your energy."
"You're always good at these distance races."
"Alright."
"Mhm."
Their eyes darted around the room, avoiding each other's like the plague.
The blue stallion's head sagged forward. "This is messed up, isn't it? I mean, we're drooling over those two!"
"At least it's both of us," said Spitfire with uncertainty.
"It doesn't help if we're both equally crazy," deadpanned Soarin. "Plus, what if they're together?"
"That's gross! They're, like, brother and sister or something."
"How do you know?"
She gave him a flat look. "Look at them and tell me they're not related."
The noise was starting to die down. It seemed their chance to speak was coming to a close.
Spitfire looked her partner in the eyes. "Okay. I won't get in your way if you don't get in mine."
He nodded. "And if it doesn't work out for either of us, we don't have to talk about it ever again."
"Pft. I don't mess up."
"Shut up with that. You're just as nervous as I am."
"Please. I'm hot and famous. Why would I be nervous?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Ok. Then lower your wings. Unless you're getting ready to go fly, in which case you won't get to flirt with Rainbow Blitz."
The mare's face scrunched up as she looked back at her back. Sure enough, her wings were standing at attention.
"Dammit."
She sat down on her haunches and took a deep breath. Slowly but surely, the offending appendages retreated to her sides.
"Fine. So I'm feeling like a starstruck schoolgirl. You're no better."
"True, but I know to flex a muscle when I start feeling one of those coming on. Keeps everything under control."
"Stallions are disgusting," she muttered, not quite as victorious in that discussion as she would have liked.
"Love you too, babe," responded Soarin cheekily. He then found Spitfire's hoof where his lungs should have been.
The talking luckily lasted long enough to cover up his wheezing. As the remaining conversations were finished with nods or rolling eyes, Octavia prepared her next bout of instructions.
"The one participating in the race will follow me in a moment. The other will be free to move about the stadium. Next, I have a few guidelines for you all. Should you not place how you would have liked in this competition, whining will do little to improve your rank. Acts of sabotage will be punished as swiftly and severely as legally possible. Seeing as you all signed the waivers, that leaves for quite a bit of wiggle room there."
Her strict gaze swept over the colorful sea of heads below her. The sound of fearful gulps was clearly audible.
"You may not make changes to your selected soundtrack. The rights to use those songs were painful enough to obtain with several days notice. When your performance is finished, you will exit the stage. Despite the audience's cheers, they do not, in fact, want an encore. I do believe that about covers everything. Any questions?"
"What is this? Kindergarten?" one stallion muttered.
Octavia's eyes immediately shifted to the speaker. They conveyed enough ice to make the center of Celestia's sun livable. "Excuse me?"
"I-I," the victim stammered. "I mean, when is this starting?"
The earth pony's smile told him he would be spared a painful demise. "Why, I do believe it has just begun."
...
One might think leaving an expensive dirigible alone on a cloud with nothing but a few ropes to keep it there is foolish. And they would be justified in thinking that. Despite the idyllic appearance of Equestria, crime was not unheard of. If something was left in public and made easy to steal, odds are it will not be there to meet its owner in an hour.
But Twilight didn't worry herself with that statistic. She figured that a bunch of pegasi would have no use for a flying machine. It would also be difficult to stow away a stolen hot air balloon. Safe in that logic, she had no problem leaving it on the clouds surrounding the Cloudiseum.
The numerous wards, alarms, and tracking spells placed on it also helped with her insecurities.
"Come on, girls!" squeaked her pink friend. "It's gonna start soon!" She hopped haphazardly about the nebulous trail they were following to the gates. Behind her trailed a trio of spare party balloons tied to her tail.
Conversely, one of Twilight's other habitually ground-bound friends crept forward with the utmost caution.
"I simply don't see how you can be so carefree up here, Pinkie! We must be higher than the Canterlot peak right now!" Despite her apparent concern, the white unicorn refused to blemish her appearance with an unsightly parachute. She made the decision to come naked and she intended to stick to it.
"Aww. Ain't that cute. Ya'll gone and got yerself a fear of hights," quipped her farming friend who confidently trotted past her.
"I don't recall you having experience falling from the sky. Forgive me if near-death experiences have an effect on me." Rarity was having trouble discerning the plush texture of her path from potential pitfalls to Equestria's surface.
"Don't ya trust Twilight? 's not like she was the one that melted yer wings mid-flight."
The aforementioned unicorn intervened as was customary when those two were in close proximity. "Now now. Enough bickering. Rarity is right. Some semblance of caution is important when using any spell. Also, this is the time of day when things start to get hard to see."
Behind her, Rarity most certainly did not stick her tongue out at Applejack. That would have been uncouth. There's no way that Applejack got a good look at the fashionista's tongue. And even if she did, nopony would ever believe it.
"But you shouldn't let it worry you," the librarian went on. "We're here to have a good time!"
Applejack did stick her tongue out. Definitely.
The only pony biologically equipped for traversing the nebulous terrain hovered beside her friends' narrow walkway. "You seem much more positive tonight, Twilight. Are you okay?"
She sighed and looked down at her hooves. They sank quite a ways into the cloud before magical tension snapped into existence with each step. "I've just had a lot on my mind recently. I can't do anything about it but forget it, so that's what I'll do."
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" asked Fluttershy, feeling concerned.
"No!" Twilight shot back too quickly. The pegasus was nearly knocked out of the sky by the force of the response. "Sorry! I mean- no I don't want to discuss it right now. I'll deal with it some other time. Or hopefully never. But we're having fun tonight! Right?"
Oh yes, thought Rarity with a devious grin. So much fun. The grin was then interrupted by a particularly deep step that sent her stumbling.
She felt a bit less terrified when she and her friends set hoof on the stadium entrance. If anything could convince a builder to ensure safety in their structure, it was a potential lawsuit. A second potential lawsuit, that is.
A tired and distracted teenager took their tickets and let them in. He seemed incapable of showing them to their seats, seeing as he answered all their simple questions with an uninspired "Huh?".
"I was asking," Twilight said through gritted teeth. "Where we could find our seats."
He blinked four times before finding the will to answer.
"I don't know," he said without moving his mouth much. It ended up sounding like "Ah-un-oh".
Rarity hurried them along before somepony got bludgeoned to death. Either the hapless teenager at the hooves of Twilight or their group at the hooves of the impatient crowd.
"By the looks of this operation, it seems we can simply pick any seat," the white unicorn said as she produced a hairbrush from Celestia-knows-where and put her fellow unicorn's hair back into place.
Pinkie began to jump up and down. Or rather, jump higher. "Oh! Oh! Let's go to the front row! We'll be able to say hi to Dashie! We might also get to see somepony else crash!"
"Um. Yes. Well..."
The pony posse skipped the stairwell and headed straight for the archway toward the arena. The roar of a thousand conversing ponies grew until it was impossible to to hear Pinkie's babbling. Okay, not impossible, but one was capable of ignoring it.
Pegasi of all colors dotted the stadium. Some held signs or painted letters to spell out words of encouragement or derision. There were many more seats than Twilight had remembered seeing at the Best Young Flyer competition. No longer were the seats simply clouds scattered around the center. Those appeared to have moved inward to be used as props. Now wide terraces of seats accommodated the large crowd that was slowly pouring in.
"Oh, this is much nicer," the yellow pegasus shouted only because nopony could hear her otherwise. "We don't have to hop around to get a seat."
"But," added the farmer. "We ought ta hop along to the front before we get stuck with a spot on the moon. C'mon girls!"
They trotted gingerly down the steps to the lowest and smallest ring. Sadly, they found it blocked by lengths of red rope. A sign hung from it saying, "Contestants only".
"Now why in Equestria would they do that?" complained Twilight.
The other unicorn nodded. "Indeed. I thought the contestants would be flying or waiting to fly within the stadium. This certainly is odd."
"Well what did you expect?" asked one stallion behind the ropes as he turned around. "Us VIP's need to be able to jump right into the action." He briefly turned away before turning right back again. "Oh. Hey girls. Glad you could make it."
Pinkie waved her hoof frantically in the air as if it would be hard to see it. "Hi Blitzy! Hi Dashie!"
Rarity gently pulled the earth pony's foreleg back to the cloud. "Dear, Rainbow Dash isn't there. Hello Blitz."
Indeed. He was alone and taking advantage of that fact by spreading his forelegs out behind the neighboring seats.
"What?" Twilight said in a loud voice that was luckily justified by the background noise. "Where is she? Did something happen?"
I told them. I told them something would happen. Do they listen? No, of course not. They think Twilight is crazy! Well is she crazy now? Dash probably crashed into a ditch and this jerk left her there. When I get my hooves on him, I'll-
While she had her mental breakdown, Blitz shook his head, smiling. "Nah. Everything went awesome. She's just gonna fly for us in the opening event. Probably over at the pit stretching."
"Oh," remarked Twilight feebly. She was both relieved that her friend was not hurt and disappointed that Blitz was not a crazed hitpony. It would have saved her a lot of grief. "Well. I hope you had a good time."
"Don't worry. We had a great time." His grin would have been telling to any competent pony whose mind spent an hour or two in the gutter.
Pinkie laughed, Rarity and Applejack shared a glance, and Fluttershy hid her face.
Twilight was a tad too distracted to get any sort of innuendo being thrown her way. Best let that little remark go over her head, lest she cover some hapless creature below with her vomit.
"Oh phooey," the white unicorn complained. "Here I thought I could entertain myself a little more teasing you."
Blitz shrugged. "What can I say? It got boring. And then really fun."
"Fer y'all, maybe." Applejack cantered around her friends and took a seat. "File in, everypony. Ah think they're gettin' ready."
A yellow blur flew by them as they sat down, nearly kicking off the farmer's favorite hat. It stopped on a dime and gently floated down to the seat next to Blitz. She plucked a piece of popcorn from her red and white striped bag and tossed it into her mouth.
"Did I miss anything?" Spitfire asked while chewing.
"Nah," Blitz answered. "I don't think we'll ever get started." He looked over to her and pointed to his mouth. The mare responded by throwing some of her popcorn into it. "Thanks."
This time, the members of the pony posse wore identical expressions. Expressions that said "Did I miss something?".
Rarity leaned and whispered into Twilight's ear. "Since when did he get so chummy with a Wonderbolt?"
Said Wonderbolt inched a little closer to Blitz than she needed to be. There was plenty of room in the roped off section. So why would she go so close as to practically lean on him? He made no effort to move his forelegs.
"I have no idea," the purple unicorn answered.
Just as quickly as Spitfire appeared, another blur shot past Applejack. This time, the hat came off and a glare more powerful than a thousand suns was shot from it's owner to the back of the culprit's head. Unfortunately, it only made contact with yellow, messy mane and not eyes that could feel the awesome wrath directed at her.
"'scuse you," the mare practically growled.
Lightning Dust turned around, confused. Nopony was paying much attention to her save for the one that looked like she wanted to kill her.
"What?" she asked. Her face didn't seem to look apologetic.
"Mah hat," Applejack said flatly, maintaining the evil eye.
The pegasus examined the top of her head, confused. "You're not wearing a hat," she concluded right before turning herself forward.
Applejack rolled her eyes. It seemed this one had the awareness of an overcooked biscuit. Still scowling, she picked up her hat, dusted it off, and replanted it on her head.
"Some ponies just don't know how ta act," the farmer said to her purple haired friend. Then she squinted at the varmint. "Say, ain't that the pony what nearly got us killed at that Wonderbolts Academy?"
Twilight frowned and searched her memory. Indeed, this pony's face was burned into her mind with the caption "Life Threat".
"Yes. Yes she is," the unicorn whispered. "But what is she doing with Blitz?"
Rarity chimed in, having noticed that Lightning was inching rather far under the stallion's free foreleg as well. "I'd say she's butting in," she muttered. "He's a bit too attractive for his own good. Careful, Blitz."
"Naw," Applejack said across Twilight. "Y'all don't think he's samplin' the herd, do ya?"
"I certainly hope not, but just look at him."
"He ain't payin' attention ta them. I'd be surprised if he even notices."
This was true. He hadn't called either of his companions to sit with him. Both had asked and he allowed it.
"He'd better tread lightly, or else we'll have to have a long chat about loyalty."
Twilight was getting uncomfortable being caught in the crossfire of the very sort of conversation she was hoping to avoid. It was hard enough accepting that certain ponies might be involved with certain other ponies. It was another issue entirely to have to witness her friends discuss it.
Their pink friend blew through clenched teeth and extended lips at them. "Shh! It's starting!"
Twilight blew out a sigh of relief. No more of that, hopefully. "Thank you, Pinkie," she whispered.
"Shh!"
And so they shushed.
...
The lights moved momentarily from the clouds floating lazily around the arena to a table set up on the innermost ring, where the host, Vinyl Scratch, and the grey earth pony from before sat with microphones before them. The unicorn focused on a monitor set up in front of her while the earth pony took a microphone in one hoof and read from a paper in the other.
"Good evening, everypony!" she said. Her voice boomed loudly and clearly to even the furthest members of the audience. If there was one thing the to mares could agree on, it was that sound quality was important. Unfortunately, there was only that one issue to agree on. The rest resulted in not-so-kind-hearted banter. "Welcome to the... ugh. Do I have to say it?"
Vinyl turned from her monitor, agitated. "Yes! Just read the script, Tavi! I read it over and everything!" Her voice came through quieter, but audible enough for the audience to hear.
"That does not reassure me, Vinyl. You never were good at writing."
"If you don't read it, I'm posting that painting I made outside of my store."
"What painting?"
"You know. That one of you on the couch with your hair down and-"
A thumping sound reverberated through the stadium as the microphone collided with the unicorn's head. However, Octavia returned to her refined posture before Vinyl's head hit the clouds.
"As I was saying, welcome to the, Laser Light Showdown. Ugh." The way she spoke suggested that those words had caused her physical pain. "My name is Octavia, and the pony lying on the floor next to me is Vinyl Scratch. Vinyl, why don't you pick yourself up and tell our audience what they're in for?"
The DJ grumbled and climbed back onto her chair. "Yeah yeah. Anypony ever tell you that you hit like a filly? I've taken bigger hits from a sip of hard lemonade."
"The audience is listening, Vinyl."
"They haven't learned to tune you out yet. Ow! Stop with that! Fine fine. I'll do it." She grabbed her microphone in her magic. "Alright everypony, how we feelin!"
A modest roar answered her, fueling a fierce grin on her face. She nodded and beckoned to the crowd to continue. Octavia, meanwhile, clutched her head in pain.
"Alright! Glad to hear it. So is Tavi. Right Tavi!?"
"My head..."
"Heh. I told her to go easy on the wine, folks. I swear. Anyway, thank you for coming to the Laser Light Showdown! We've got to do Equestria's flyers some justice with a competition that's actually worth bragging about. Is everypony hype!?"
Their yells indicated that they were, in fact, hype. That, or they were growing impatient. Maybe both.
"Before we start, I hear we have some special guests in the audience. Those Elements of Harmony are with us tonight! How 'bout that?"
"Not the Elements, Vinyl. Just the ponies that wielded them and saved our skin a few times. Thank you all for that, by the way."
"Yeah. That was pretty sweet. So, just for you, we'll set our opening event to a song in your honor."
"Oh, is this that Danny Byrdle fellow? I can tolerate that one."
"You know it, Tavi. Don't get your hopes up, though. This is the closest thing to your tastes we'll be getting to tonight. Some of these ponies seem to have the right idea about music."
"You mean noise? I'll get my earplugs."
"Go for it. Meanwhile, let's get this party started!"
...
The racers launched from a hole in the clouds into the air. The jumbled mess of flying equine quickly filed into a safer line circling the stadium, varying from one to three ponies thick. It was suggested by Octavia in the beginning that they be placed in an orderly line beforehoof, but they were smushed flank to flank in that damned pit. Two members of the crew quickly set up a checkered finish line along the safety floor of the stadium.
Skill levels became apparent almost immediately. A few contestants that hardly managed the takeoff were left cruising uneasily at the back of the pack. The majority got themselves together and pushed on in the crowded center. The upper crust managed to pull ahead and out of the melee of shoving. They were the skilled flyers.
And then there were the pegasi that finished three laps in seconds only to slow down and trail the twice-lapped stragglers. Among them were Rainbow Dash and Soarin.
They seemed to have come to the same conclusion regarding exerting themselves. Seeing as the majority of the competition had been left in whatever dust may have accumulated this high above the ground, they could just take it easy for most of the race. After all, sprinting through the air for twenty laps would be stupid. Not hard, just stupid.
Dash rolled onto her back, reveling in the sensation of flight. She'd spent far too much time cooped up in that stadium. The cool night air rippled off her feathers pleasantly.
"Oh yeah," she said without any lost breath. "That's the stuff."
Soarin grinned a few feet behind her, flying at what would have been breakneck speeds for anypony that didn't speed for a living. He could have kept up his previous pace for much longer, but the chance to just chill with Dash was too much to pass up. The view wasn't bad at all either.
That being said, he still found himself awestruck at her skill. Soarin had to remind himself that this peagasus wasn't just some jawdropping bombshell, but she was also right on the same level as himself and his fellow professional flyers. She pulled off the same speed as he had without even streamlining her body. She couldn't have looked more unprofessional, and that just made her look even cooler.
"I wish more of our shows were at times like these," he said hesitantly. "This just feels better than sweating to death in the sun."
"Totally," she responded. It still felt odd to be just chatting with Soarin of the Wonderbolts as if it was nothing. No big crowd around to block her. No bodyguards threatening magical electric shocks to supposed "obsessive" fans. It was like they were just normal friends.
And in recent times, she'd become very comfortable in the field of friendship.
The song had barely gotten started at this point. A smooth synthesized melody slowly built itself up while drums thumped speedily through everypony's ears and hearts. Perhaps a normal pony would finish one lap just as the song kicked in.
Despite his wishes to hang out and talk with Dash, Soarin had done little but fly nearby while watching her. Now, this was no trivial or boring occurrence. On the contrary, he could do so all night and be happy. However, he felt like trying his luck a little bit.
I'm not stupid with mares. I can do it. Just say something.
The stallion opened his mouth to speak. He really wanted to, too. But nothing came out. Then the wind flowing directly to the back of his throat caused a minor choking fit. When he looked up, he found not the mare he was crushing on, but some brown stallion trying desperately to pass him. Dash was already a ways beyond him.
Okay, what the hell is he doing? Soarin thought. His form was awful, his strokes were inefficient, and his mane could not be salvaged by the best of hairdressers.
"Dude, are you trying to get yourself killed?" he said to the panting pegasus.
"W-ha-what?" the stallion answered through heavy breaths.
"Because you're going to pass out any moment now. That is, unless you don't crash into something before that happens." Upon further examination, the stallion turned out to be the one he'd seen talking to Dash in the lounge. She was laughing. He was not. The word "Dumbass" was thrown around a lot, followed by him insisting that it was "Dumbbell".
"Sh-shut up. What do you know?"
You'd be surprised, kid. The Wonderbolt shook his head, smiling. "So are you gonna tell me why you're killing yourself trying to win the warm up?"
Dumbbell rolled his eyes. However, the movement caused his flight to waver. He wobbled like a blank-flanked foal that tried to fly to high. "Because if I don't beat her," he motioned to Dash who stole glances at his pathetic struggle, "my partner will never let me hear the end of it!"
Soarin gave an understanding nod. "I can relate. But don't you think she'll be more pissed off if you're too tired to actually compete?"
"Wah? This? This is nothing. I could-" He swallowed and the momentary lack of air elicited several gasps afterward. "I could do this all day."
"Right," he said, trying not to laugh. "You do realize that her and I are at least two or three laps ahead of everypony, right?"
Dumbbell managed a feeble grin. "Not-ha-me. I've kept up this whole time."
That would be impressive if you could stand afterwards.
"Uh huh. 'scuse me for a sec." Soarin accelerated a bit to catch up to Dash. He now had a topic to discuss with her!
She looked back it him catching up. "You were lagging behind back there," she noted.
"I was trying to get that guy to not hurt himself. He a friend of yours?"
"Pft. Sure. We go way back." She wasn't even being sarcastic. Not at all.
"Yeah. I figured. Well it looks like he really wants that final spot on the stage."
She grinned. "Yeah. I bet it would just break his little heart if he couldn't get it."
"Ah come on Dash. That's cruel. Why not just let him have it?"
Dash gave him a skeptical look. "Why do you care about him so much?"
"I don't, really," he said without betraying his panic. She didn't approve and that was unacceptable. "Just wanted to talk about something. This straightforward flying is about to put me to sleep."
"I get ya. Well he can have it if he beats me. The way he talks, it should be no problem."
That's not happening, Soarin thought. He's nowhere near my league, let alone yours. He stole another glance at the stallion. His mane appeared to be slicked back with sweat. Soarin cringed and turned back to the mare. "Well, it'd be no fun if we won this race just flying. We should spice it up."
"Spice it up?" she asked. Her knee jerk reaction was to deny any suggestion that would allow that jerk to win anything. However, she was hardly in a position to deny outright a suggestion by one of her idols.
"You know, give these ponies a show. If this thing is going to allow professionals like us, it's only right to give ourselves a handicap."
He called me a professional! Awesome!
"Alright. How do you like this!"
...
Well this girl is gonna be a problem. She looks familiar. Was she at the academy?
The greenish mare leaned over the blue fur she was leaning against to see the yellow pony she had found there when she sat down. She couldn't risk more than a glance. Her eyes widened and her head returned to the seat.
Is that freaking Spitfire!? Why isn't she announcing or something? Lightning Dust stole another look. This time she caught the Wonderbolt looking back.
Spitfire scowled. Is that that Lightning Dust pony that almost pushed Rainbow Dash away? What is she still doing here?
Whatever, Lightning thought. I'm not letting her get in my way.
She won't stop me.
When I want something...
I get it!
The loud pony behind them crossed her arms and pouted. "I wish these two would stop shouting. I can't hear the music!"
"How in Equestria can you hear anything but the music, Pinkie?" Rarity asked with hooves lightly clamped over her ears. She preferred music with a little more piano and a little less bass.
"You all have terrible hearing. Blitzy is right next to them and can't hear either." The earth pony then turned her attention to the flyers. "Oh! Oh! Look at Dashie! How does she do that!?"
Everypony was already looking. That was the point of being there. But upon closer examination, Rainbow Dash was doing something odd. Her altitude fluctuated by several feet with each flap of her wing. Singular. She was literally flying with one wing held tight on her back.
"Nice!" Blitz proclaimed as he returned his forelegs to his lap, much to the displeasure of the two mares they had been around. "Show these ponies who they're up against!"
Suddenly, a light blue stallion overtook her flank first. His legs were stretched out as if he was flying normally but it was his backside that met the wind.
Spitfire grinned and shook her head. "Dammit Soarin."
A hearty laugh boomed through the speakers over the music. "Aw yeah! Looks like we've got a couple of show-ponies out here! Those are some fancy moves! What else you got?"
"Oh don't encourage them, Vinyl. Somepony will get hurt," Octavia warned.
"Doesn't matter! They signed the waivers! Go for it, guys!"
Right on cue, Dash started rolling in the air so fast that she looked like a rainbow colored comet. Soarin broke into a series of front flips, all while flying in loops. Due to these stunts, they lost considerable speed and ceased to overtake their opponents.
Twilight and company found themselves thoroughly engrossed with the aerial antics. Blitz and Spitfire laughed at their respective partners as well. However, the greenish flyer did not share in the merriment.
"Come on. Come on," Lightning muttered, leaning forward in her seat. She'd thought ahead about the race's importance.
The majority of the audience was not versed in flying. Throw some flashy magic and sharp turns at them and they'd be satisfied. Nopony would bother remembering the early performances; they won't be remarkable. Later on as skill increases, the audience will begin to grow tired and care less about who wins. When you get right down to it, the last performance will have the greatest effect on the audience. The final act could win against anything so long as it was half-decent.
Dumbbell panted his way around a turn to the edge closest to his partner. He was still behind Dash and Soarin, which did not make her happy. As much was apparent thanks to their eye contact which, in an instant, spewed enough death and fire into the stallion's unfortunate face to encourage a little acceleration.
His muscles screamed. He may have too. It was hard to tell what with the music.
"That was a pretty cool move, Soarin," Dash said to her idol. They had reached the final lap so they toned down the tricks.
"Thanks," he replied. "I'm thinking about going pro."
"Really?" she laughed. "You think you can make it?"
"I hope so. I already got the suit."
The stallion congratulated himself inwardly. Alright! Ice: broken. When it's over, I can lay on my moves.
The duo was rather distracted. One was content with a fun flight while the other was busy rehearsing pickup lines.
If we were a contract, you'd be the fine print! No. That's stupid. Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you've got a sweet...no. Not that one.
With all eyes on the two ponies doing the tricks and their eyes nowhere in particular, few noticed when a struggling brown dot as he passed them.
I bit my lip. Will you kiss it better? Ugh, what am I? Twelve?
I wonder if they sell food here. Maybe Pinkie smuggled in some cupcakes. Or maybe a whole cake. I could go for a whole cake right now...
I heard you like harmony. Let's make music together. No. Only Mareseilles stallions could pull that one off.
If I take a nap now, will I be able to sleep tonight? Aw who am I kidding? I can always sleep.
Three changelings walk into a bar...
"And there goes first place, everypony!" Vinyl announced with no lost energy. "To the brown guy! Whoever that is. You got that, Tavi?"
"Yes dear. It's right here on the sheet," the gray mare responded too far to be properly picked up by the microphone.
"Weird. I would have thought it would be one of those two that were doing all that cool stuff. Hope they're not tuckered out already. We've got a long night ahead of us."
Dash blinked as she processed what the announcers had said. Wow. Didn't know he had it in him.
The mare glanced at Soarin, who mumbled to himself in a world other than Equestria.
Somepony's about to beat a Wonderbolt, she thought with a sly grin.
The black and white strip was rushing to meet them to end their twentieth lap. The blue stallion only managed to pull out of his trance when he noticed the topic of his discussion with himself pass in front of his face.
Huh. Why's she in such a rush?
"Second and third! Rainbow Dash and Soarin! In that order!" Vinyl's hooves tapped on the table to the rhythm of the drums. An inartistic echo resulted for the rest of the audience, but she didn't particularly care.
Wow, he thought. Third. Glad I'm representing the team out here.
Dash and Soarin slowed and started their descent into the nearby stands. Spitfire, Blitz, and Lightning were waiting for them near the finish. Nearby, Dumbbell was splayed out on a set of chairs.
"Nice going," the female Wonderbolt chided. "Glad I could count on you."
"Oh quit it. I was having fun. Third isn't bad." He looked to the others with a face that said, "Do you see what I put up with?"
Blitz laughed and drew his clone under his foreleg. "Well it's no second." He turned to her. "Nice flying by the way."
Dash snorted. "That was nothing."
"Oh I know."
"I don't know why you two are bragging," Lightning interjected. "We got first."
The rainbow stallion rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Meanwhile, where did that guy get to?"
"Uh, dude?" Dash said, poking him and pointing. "Check it out."
Dumbbell was out like a light. Like Equestria's worst batter. Like the color chartreuse last spring. Like ponies saying "radical" or "bogus". Like Dumbbell after trying to out-fly a Wonderbolt and the Wonderbolt's favorite potential recruit. There is no other simile more pure than that.
Soarin walked up to him and poked his chest. The corpse gave no response.
"Is he gonna be alright to fly?" he asked, still poking.
Lightning could almost care. "Sure. He can rest up while we wait. We are going last, after all."
"So much for her caring about safety," Spitfire whispered to Dash.
"As long as she gives it a rest with the tornadoes, we're good." she answered. "Besides, that guy needs to be taken down a peg."
"How far down do you want him?" the Wonderbolt asked incredulously.
"About six feet."
She caught the laugh with pinched lips before it could betray their conversation. Dash's cheeky grin only fed into its will to escape.
"That was terrible!"
"I thought it was pretty good," interjected Blitz quietly as he stuck his head between the two.
Dash looked at her, smiling. "See? He gets it."
She did see. She saw that stallion's face directly in front of her. Had he turned, she would feel his breath on her snout. His eyes looked like a very nice shade of dark pink. They held no femininity, oh no. There was fire in those eyes.
And I'm gonna get some Fire all over the rest of him, Spitfire thought.
Ew.
Just in time to interrupt any additional inward innuendos, Dash flew off to where Blitz had been sitting with her clone on her tail. Lightning, upon seeing the stallion leave, was quick to follow.
This left the two Wonderbolts alone with an unconscious rookie. The mare stood stupidly with her head extended while the stallion kept poking Dumbbell.
"This is pretty fun. Hey Spitz, come try this."
"Dammit Soarin."
...
"Everypony give our contestants a round of applause! And somepony give Tavi an asprin. Or maybe a few shots."
"Hmph. It will take more than a few drums and that synthesizer to get to me."
"The night's just begun my friend. Maybe we should get her both. Preemptive medication or something. Is it bad to take those at the same time?"
The applause that had begun soon after Vinyl's request had died down as they pondered the question.
"YES!" shouted one purple dot in the crowd.
Vinyl shrugged. "Shots it is, then!"
"Put that bottle away, Vinyl. We're working."
"Don't be such a buzz kill!" The popping of a cork echoed through the stadium. "We're gonna take a little break so our first contestants can breathe. You all can go to the John or get a snack or something. See you in a little bit everypony!"
...
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Kinda feel bad for Dumb Bell... almost... kinda.
Great, now Blitz has both Dust and Spitfire after and Twilight is just chomping at the bit to blast him if she even sniffs him being unfaithful to Dash.
Poor guy.
Ugh goddamit. If there's one thing I hate A Cross and an Arrow, it's for introducing this stupid selfship garbage. I wish it'd just die.
Can't wait for next chapter
Poor Dumba- I mean Dumbbell.
2972517 Well, it's a little late for me to change that. There's also another arc after this one planned out, so it's far from dead.
ogawdmysides
Dumbell won? What? Okaym sure, Dash and Soarin were goofing off, but come on...
Amusing all around. I look forward to the performances themselves, and further antics from the announcers. Also, I hope everyone remembers to be a bit more considerate and stops thinking so loud around Pinkie.
I'm not Spitfire, but I would definitely come over and start poking Dumbbell with Soarin' just for the fun of it.
*poke poke*
Why is everyone all 'oh they shared a peice of popcorn THEY FUCKED!
3889036
A pack of single females with most of them overprotective (or lonely and wanting to sort-of live out their own romance fantasy through the only member of their group to have somebody). It's more common than you might think.
What are you on when you write this and were can I get some? (in Soviet Russia you dont dash rainbow rainbow dashes you!)
wow poor blitz three girls fall for him... damnit
DumbassI mean Dumbbell actually won? Wow.Naw," Applejack said across Twilight. "Y'all don't think he's samplin' the herd, do ya?"
"I certainly hope not, but just look at him."
"He ain't payin' attention ta them. I'd be surprised if he even notices."
This was true. He hadn't called either of his companions to sit with him. Both had asked and he allowed it.
"He'd better tread lightly, or else we'll have to have a long chat about loyalty."
Their gonna talk to Dashs clone about loyalty??
You tell everyone to arrive 30 minutes before you actually want them to and then they all show up on time
:) classic tactic, really works too irl
As will I tavia. As will I. Honestly people don’t understand music quality these days