Graphs

by Mozzarella

We've Got This

"If you're dashing through rainbows, keep dashing."

Graphs

***

The warrior's eyes were alight in the frenzy of battle. He did not want victory. He needed it. He did not lack a worthy opponent, however. Light gleamed off its armor, pompous and confident in its victory. It acted not for purpose, but for violence. Pain.

Blood.

Spike fought valiantly against the adversary, parrying the strikes his eyes could follow. Wielding multiple weapons, it lashed out far beyond the capabilities of the dragon's blade. The blows it landed were absorbed by his thick scales. He could feel them beginning to break through the natural armor, cutting scorching wounds into the skin underneath. So he redoubled his efforts to simply smother the enemy with sheer force. But, alas, it was not enough.

The damned sunlight woke him up.

A reptilian gurgle escaped his mouth as he stretched out above the walls of his basket. Sleep-cramped muscles gave their usual complaints, along with a few others from his day of Crusading.

Spike shuddered. It was fun and all, but the three fillies who had occupied him did not seem to know when to stop. The appropriate time to stop hang gliding is when you've crashed once, not six times. The appropriate time to stop bucking trees is when your farmer sister comes and asks you to stop, not when she chases you off with the threat of being hogtied.

He sighed and stopped fuming, literally and figuratively. It's not as if he could think of a way he would rather have spent his day off. He just wished it hadn't been so painful.

Pain. Right. He recalled his outburst against Twilight with a cringe. He did not look forward to facing up to that. He only managed to dodge the bullet yesterday thanks to her being out late again.

His muscles ached again. On second thought, he'd rather be given a verbal beating than a physical one at the moment. In addition, he could expect said beating from a pony that was relatively logical and sane.

The dragon tiptoed down the stairs only to find his matron staring intently at two blocks of wood on the floor, scribbling furiously with a floating pen on a scroll without looking.

Okay. Relatively sane.

Seeing the lack of need for sneakiness, he walked down normally, approaching the blocks to find any sign of something interesting.

He was disappointed. It was two wooden cubes. They were absolutely uniform and uninteresting. Not even a speck of paint. Twilight didn't even acknowledge the dragon as he crept further and further into her field of view.

A minute of staring passed without incident or interest. Spike began to worry about the obsessive unicorn. It was one thing to be into observation, but it was another thing to be monitoring something so bland with such passion. She went as far as stroking her chin as the blocks did nothing.

Spike opened his mouth to speak, which was quickly prevented by Twilight's hoof leaving her chin long enough to shush him. He pouted and returned to watching.

That's when they snapped together.

There wasn't a great distance between the blocks. Half a foot, perhaps. They sat upon a relatively smooth surface. It certainly wasn't uncommon for things to move without being touched. Twilight's scroll and quill could attest to that.

However, these lacked the telltale glow of telekinesis. The movement happened very suddenly and finished just as suddenly. The clapping of wood on wood reverberated through the library, along with the surprised yelps of its residents.

Twilight was knocked back on her rump by her surprise, Spike following her example. His expression was one of slight confusion, paling in comparison to her look of concerned shock.

"Twilight? What just happened?" Spike said, feeling that the time had passed for greetings.

She let out a weary breath. "I'm studying the Attraction between duplicated objects."

"Why are you saying it like that?"

"For emphasis," she responded, as if it were the question he was asking. Spike rolled his eyes.

"I mean what is it?"

"For some reason, the cloned object exhibits a strong attraction toward the original object and vice versa. It's not quite the same with cloned ponies, so I'm trying to find a trend in these to make predictions about the rest."

The dragon knelt down and poked the joined blocks with a clawed finger. They remained clamped together, exactly the way wood wouldn't do.

"Weird," he remarked casually. "So, you want anything for breakfast? I think I'm feeling eggs today."

Twilight was prepared to have a discussion about magical science, not about food. She didn't answer, finding the question to be oddly difficult. Spike just shrugged.

"Suit yourself." He walked off.

The unicorn was tired of not understanding things. Of not understanding this magic. Of not understanding its implications.

And, most of all, of not understanding why nopony cared.

Are they even thinking of the problems this could cause? About how Dash is going to have to suffer losing her free will on the matter? This is getting ridiculous.

The blocks on the floor refused to answer her. She picked them up and cantered over to her desk to examine her notes.

Don't worry, Dash. I'll find a way to fix this.

...

It's strange how early one can awaken sometimes. One might expect that surplus time in any given morning would be eagerly taken up by sleeping, especially if there was excess fatigue the night before. Yet, one can still find themselves awake and full of energy in spite of opposition. It must have depended on the pony's mood, the quality of the sleep, or even the quality of the bed.

Or maybe the company.

Rainbow Blitz didn't know when he woke up. That's the problem with keeping your face buried and eyes closed when it is quite clear that no more sleep would get done. He still didn't want to get up. There was just something so pleasant about this particular cloud. There didn't seem to be anything special about it. It felt like any other. It might have had something to do with the stripes.

Stripes?

With his eyes apparently open, he could now see the sleeping form of Rainbow Dash on top of him. The sound of deep snoring reverberated from where she rested the back of her head on his chest. His forelegs rose and fell gently with her steady breathing.

Oh yeah. Last night... He waited for his heart to jump or skip or hop. Hell, he at least expected a slight shudder. But there was nothing.

Aside from satisfaction, of course.

A smug smile spread across his muzzle, as if he'd just won some sort of game against a bunch of cocky jerks. For all he knew, he had. He couldn't imagine there was a stallion in Equestria that didn't want her. Probably even a few mares.

Well too bad. His grip tightened ever so slightly. She's mine.

Blitz wanted to stay there like that all day, but recalling his and her escapades had one flaw. He remembered that absolutely no progress was made regarding their routine. Blitz may have even been guilty of forgetting a step or two.

He groaned, trying to build up the resolve to get up. However, the journey was long and inspiration scarce. So he absently dragged his muzzle across his partners head.

There was that smell again, though it lacked its soporific effect what with the active goal being the exact opposite of sleep. He felt around until he met her ear then gave it a playful nudge. Dash's snoring faltered.

Blitz recalled what he learned from the previous night. Among other things, Dash had very much enjoyed when he played with her ears.

He found the tip of her ear and placed it between his upper teeth and lower lip, applying slight pressure. This stopped the snoring completely, making way for a not entirely unhappy groan.

The stallion laughed and gave the ear a tug, careful not to actually be hurting her. He himself was still a little sore. It was a bit too early to start with that again.

And, evidently, too early for Dash to wake up. Despite the smile on her lips, she turned away whenever he tried to reach her face to talk to her.

"C'mon, Dash," he said softly. "We've gotta get to work."

She flailed a weak hoof in the direction of the sound. "Five more minutes," she grumbled, nestling further into the crook of his neck.

As much as Blitz enjoyed the experience, there was flying to do. He dodged the hoof, still laughing quietly. He craned his neck to position his head on the other side of hers. "Alright. If you won't wake up, I'll just have to do this."

The stallion began vibrating his forelegs, shaking his companion up and down violently. Her still sleeping eyes tried to open and she made a sound between a gurgle and a grunt. Her hoof shot out clumsily again, except this time Blitz was too preoccupied with messing with her.

Something hard collided head on with his nose. The shaking stopped instantly and his forelegs flew to the injury.

"Hnnglrgh!" he exclaimed profoundly. His eyes clamped shut as he writhed beneath the still recovering Dash.

When her brain stopped nearly smacking against her skull, she twisted onto her stomach to face her injured alarm clock.

"Jeez, what was that all about?" she asked, rubbing her eye.

Blitz only continued holding his hooves to his muzzle for fear of it falling off. He might have tried to growl, but it came out as a whimper.

"What's up with you? I would think you'd be happy after last night." She finished her sentence with a wry grin, twirling a hoof in a circle on his chest.

"You punched my nose!"

"Pft. No I didn't."

"How are you gonna tell me that wasn't a punch?"

Dash rolled her eyes. "You big baby. Let me see." She tried to push his hooves out of the way but they wouldn't budge.

"Stop! It's probably broken!"

"Aww. Does wittle Bwitzy Witzy want me to kiss it better?"

Blitz crossed his forelegs and looked off away from her, offended. "It couldn't hurt."

Dash grabbed his chin to turn it toward her. She flicked her mane behind her head, half closed her eyes, licked her lips, and leaned in.

Blitz raised an eyebrow, surprised at how easy that had worked. He closed his eyes, leaning back on the cloud and waiting for the fruits of his plan.

Dash grew closer. He could feel it, her breath on his fur. Her pace was agonizingly slow. Her lips met him and she...

...she kissed him on the nose.

A look of utter disappointment washed over Blitz. He squinted his eyes at her snickering face.

"Feel any better?" she asked through giggles.

"No," he deadpanned. "What was that even?"

She rolled her eyes again. "Well you said you hurt your nose." She gave him a peck on the cheek and rose up from their night-long embrace. "We can't waste time getting caught up in that stuff anyway."

Blitz started to push himself up as well. "That's what I was trying to tell you when you punched me in the face."

"You want I should hit you again?" she threatened, holding up a hoof.

"Like you could hurt me!" he said back.

"I could, did, will, and you love it!" she said, shoving her face up against his with each word. Her smile was ferocious.

Blitz resisted the urge to tackle her there. It took some effort to remind himself that he'd been trying to get on task for some time now. He kept getting distracted for some reason.

"Alright. Later. Then we'll see who's loving what." He retreated from her face, if only to control himself.

"Can't wait," she replied cheerfully. She approached the edge of the cloud and hopped off, disappearing below it. Blitz peered over the edge to find the cloud where they had left their bag just below. Some considerable drifting must have happened overnight. He followed her off.

"What are you feeling like?" Dash asked, rummaging through the bag.

"There should be some apple fritters in there somewhere. I'll have some of those."

The rich smell assaulted Dash's nose when she brought out the wrapped package. She eagerly ripped open the paper to look at the little balls of fried deliciousness unobstructed.

"Mm. Me too." She popped one into her mouth and tossed a few Blitz's way. He managed to juggle them into the crook of a foreleg without falling flat on his face. A notable feat, considering how breakfast went last time.

They ate their fatty and fruity dough thankfully without incident. Everypony's hooves remained functional and eye contact was not avoided nor was it dreaded.

""Hey Dash?" Blitz said, wiping some crumbs from his mouth.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have any idea what exactly we were afraid of? Last night, I mean."

Dash furrowed her brow and frowned. She understood his meaning, having begun to ask herself the very same thing. Despite dominating her mind the previous day, she could not for the life of her explain its source.

She shrugged "No idea, dude. Probably something stupid."

He frowned. "It's killing me not knowing. It just seemed like such a big deal at the time. And now I don't know what it was, or even what ended up fixing it."

"Well that one is easy," Dash said, flashing a grin.

Blitz cocked his head to the side, confused. "It is?"

The mare nodded as if this were some serious lack of competence on his part. "You really don't know?"

"Come on. Tell me."

She looked around as if she were keeping some big secret. Then she shut her eyes and took on the manner of a smug professor. "Obviously," she began. "The solution to your anxiety came to you because..." She stopped, enjoying the suspense she had created.

Blitz leaned in for a moment, properly enthused by her rhetoric. Yet the answer hung on the tip of her tongue as the seconds passed. After an extended pause, he sagged forward with his reserves of attention exhausted.

"Are you gonna tell me or wha-" He tried to speak, but his lapse in vigilance left him open to attack.

Dash knocked him to the ground, landing gracefully on her legs while Blitz was plopped onto his back, grunting. He went to lean forward and spit a few curses at his attacker, but found himself captured in her mesmerizing gaze from point blank. The words died in his throat, creating a very dumb sounding "Uhhh".

She held her spell on him for a few seconds, then laughed and relaxed her hold.

"You make it too easy, you know." She started to get off of him right before it was her turn to be surprised. She seemed to have forgotten that her mind wasn't one to let an act, whether it be one of affection or of humiliation, go unanswered.

While her front hoof rose up to take a step, Blitz swept a hind leg under both of hers, sending her tipping toward her remaining support. He deftly caught her and maneuvered her back onto him, but facing skyward.

"I can't be sure," he thought aloud. "But I think I get it now." He tightened his grip on her and turned his head to nuzzle her cheek. She laughed and made a feeble effort to squirm away.

"It got fixed," she said, "when you realized you totally wanted some of this." She motioned toward herself.

Blitz moved to her ear, smiling. "Nu-uh! You finally accepted that you wanted me."

"You wanted it more!"

"You wanted it just as much!"

The feigned argument went much like that until it devolved into laughter and shaking heads. Blitz noted that they had gotten distracted yet again. He wondered if they were even going to be practicing today.

"Alright," she said, forcing herself out of the stallion's grip with surprising strength. "Enough mushy stuff. Time to practice." She stretched out her wings, ready for flight.

Blitz faked a disappointed sigh. "Fine. Let's go."

They took off into the air to gather the background. The supply of clouds was holding up well enough. The wind wasn't terribly strong, but it was picking up. There were a few gusts that threatened to throw them off.

"From the top?" Blitz said, landing on his perch where they were to begin.

"Sure. Know what we're doing?" Dash challenged.

He shrugged. "It'll come to me."

Dash laughed. "Could you tell me when it does? I don't know either."

They crouched low to the cloud, partly because of the wind and partly because it looked cool.

"We've got this," Blitz said over the wind.

Dash nodded. "Yeah we do! Go!"

And they tore open the sky.

...

"Pinkie, I already explained myself twice. Why should I tell you again?"

"Because I wasn't listening!"

"Um, I didn't quite understand either. I'm sorry. Could you please tell us again?"

Rarity sighed, defeated. How could she say no to such a valid and soft-spoken request. Still, she wondered why she bothered. Pinkie may have had the upper hand in tic-tac-toe, but she was no match for the seamstress in a complicated game of chess. Who could blame her or Fluttershy for not looking five or six moves ahead?

And yet, it wasn't any less tedious.

"Of course Fluttershy, and there's no need to be sorry." She shut her eyes as if the plan was written inside of her eyelids. "You see, we can't just go charging head on into this. I had thought we could before, but she shut us out then. If we remove the pressure and ease the idea into her head, she is less likely to lash out and refuse. She might buckle under the pressure from stewing in her own thoughts."

The yellow pegasus nodded understandingly. "Oh, okay. I- I don't really need a clone, if that helps you girls at all."

"On the contrary, Fluttershy, we all have very practical applications for them. I need help getting business at the Boutique, Applejack could use a hoof with her trees, Pinkie..." She frowned. "Pinkie, do you even have a reason?"

The pink pony smiled ear to ear and shook her head. "Nope! I just think it would be fun! And I got gypped out of my clone fun last time!"

Rarity shook her head, dismissing any thoughts of Pinkie. That was the best course of action if one wished to understand something. "Nevertheless," she said, turning back to Fluttershy, "you arguably need one most of all."

"I do?" she asked, confused.

"Yes, dear. Far more lives depend on the work you do than on ours. You need help caring for all of Ponyville's creatures, big and small. That's why we are sitting in your cottage interviewing ponies to help you. Well, we're doing it so we can say we did, anyway."

A rustling came from the cottage door. The stranger must have tried in vain to bypass one of Fluttershy's many deadbolts. The poor fool. The elements of harmony only wished they were as well guarded as the shy pony's front door.

"I do believe that's our first applicant now." Rarity got up and strutted to the door, magically working on the locks before she arrived in the hopes of finishing beforehand. A lost cause, of course. It took another second to jiggle out the last few.

On the other side of the door was a off white Pegasus with even off-er white hair. None of the pony's coat or mane seemed to be naturally colored. There were patches where it appeared to have been scratched or ripped off. His cutiemark looked like some sort of lumpy cloud-like mound. His wings twitched absently as he nervously itched his arm, appearing as though it was taking considerable effort not to bite the offending area. His head was busy rubbernecking around as if he were being pursued by the government.

Rarity's warm welcome faltered as she took in the sight. Her years as a servant to fashion were screaming that this pony was tearing down what she stood for. There was some reluctance to allow this gentlecolt inside, let alone give him the chance to get the job.

"Er, hello sir. Can I help you?" Something in her voice suggested that she hoped the answer was no.

The stallion's eyes shot towards her as the words left her throat. Reactions like that would be good in the air force. Though, they probably have background checks there. He checked for secret agents one more time before turning fully to the unicorn.

"Uh huh. Yeah," he rasped. His voice was surprisingly high and disturbingly coarse. "There was a job. Here. Right? A job. I can get some bits?"

Rarity hesitated to answer. His appearance distracted her from whatever it was he was saying. The information was placed on the back burner to wait for her to finish judging every bit of this poor colt's fashion sense. That wiry mane clinging low to his head as if it were made of clay. Those wings with their split feathers sticking up all over. And, well, the teeth he did have did a good job matching his coat.

She lurched back into reality with a shake of her head. The information the stallion had spit out was waiting for her. "Well, yes. You may earn a modest compensation should you be chosen. M-may I ask your name?"

He sniffed forcefully. "Who wants to know!?" he shot back reflexively. A reeled himself back upon seeing the mare's shocked face. "Oh. Eh. It's uh... Weasel Dust."

"Weasel Dust." Rarity tested the name on her tongue. It was rather bitter. "Might I also ask what you do?"

Weasel Dust was busy craning his neck around her, trying to see inside the house. It took him a moment to realize he was being spoken to.

"What I do?" He nervously glanced at the quiet forest around him. The trees, the slow creek. The animals...

Right. Animals.

"Oh. What I do. Right. Yeah." He moved his scratching hoof over to his neck. "I uh, take care of weasels?"

"You take care...of weasels?" Rarity was less than convinced.

"Yeah. Sure. Love 'em. When can I get paid? I've got some- er- urgent bills." He chuckled nearly hysterically. "Those guys really don't like when I'm late on my payments. Heh heh heh."

Rarity slowly began to close the door. She leaned out to try and deter him.

"Thank you so much for your time Mr. Weasel, but the position has just been taken. Terribly sorry. Good luck with your bills Mr. Weasel. Ta ta!"

The locks were turned before the sound of the slamming door managed to reach Fluttershy or Pinkie. Rarity returned to the table with wide eyes and pursed lips.

"Who was that?" Fluttershy inquired, expecting to see her first applicant.

Rarity glanced at the door to be sure there was no way that thing was getting inside. "I do believe that was the subject of the majority of tomorrow's newspaper. You still read Crime Time, right Pinkie?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Every week. Last issue taught me all about pony trafficking!"

"Well tell me if you hear anything about a Mister 'Weasel Dust'."

"Will do. Oh! Can I get the next one? Please? Please please please?" She clasped her hooves before the yellow pegasus.

"Okay. Just, don't scare them away. I don't want to seem like an intimidating boss." The potential intimidating boss fiddled with a lock of her silky pink mane. Then she jumped at the abrupt firm knocks on her door.

"Oh! My turn!" The earth pony jumped up and skipped to the door. Without bothering with silly things like locks, she swung the door open.

The stranger on the other side was met with an unexplained flourish of confetti and a shockingly energetic lump of pink. Not that it did much to rattle her. Those feelings were swept away by the trials and tribulations of a stern upbringing.

Pinkie was unaffected by the ineffectiveness of her pep. "Welcome to the house of Fluttershy! May I take your coat?" Now that pleasantries were taken care of, she could finally take a look at the applicant.

The earth pony towered above Pinkie, looking directly at the doorway as if it were still closed. Her black mane lacked curls, waves, or any kind of deviation from a straight line. Firm muscle could be observed through her dark blue coat, adding intimidating ripples behind the large, flawless boot lying along her flank.

"I guess you're not wearing a coat. I mean, not a coat coat. Like a jacket. I guess I could take your real coat if you want. I know some ponies who like to take off their actual coats when they go inside anywhere. Normally they're locked in those cushy rooms though. Anyway, are you here for the job, Ms ..." Pinkie, oddly enough, trailed off. Then again, it was unlikely that she'd be able to guess the pony's name. The Pinkie Sense was powerful, but not that powerful. She drew out the "Ms" and extended her neck up until she actually dug her face into the dour pony's chest.

Without looking away from the doorway, she saluted and barked out, "Ma'am! Straight Lace! Ma'am!"

Looking up from the mountain that was Straight Lace's neck, Pinkie laughed and retreated, motioning to the doorway. "Please come in!"

Straight Lace did not relax. She simply nodded and took stiff, brisk steps into the cottage.

Fluttershy looked up from her seat and her tea only to see a creature much larger and less forgiving than most bears she knew marching toward her. Her gentle choking was insufficient to comically spew the drink all over.

Against the offending liquid, she rose and spoke to the goliath. "H-hello, Ms. Are you here for the caretaking position?" Something about the pony put Fluttershy on the defensive. It may have been her obscenely large hooves that were the envy of most tree trunks.

Again, she saluted and spoke as if she were still in the royal guard. "Ma'am! I would like to volunteer my services! Ma'am!"

The power behind her voice forced Fluttershy into her mane. Her shivering was enough to queue Rarity into taking over.

The unicorn took up a place beside the cowering pegasus, trying to console her. "Thank you for coming. Please have a seat Ms..."

She opened her mouth to yet again share her name, but Pinkie's head shot up from behind hers, eager to interrupt.

"This is Lacie! She's gonna take care of the little critters with you, Fluttershy!"

"Lacie's" eye twitched. Through clenched teeth, she muttered, "It's Straight Lace, ma'am." She calmly removed the Pinkie from her head. "And yes, I am here for the job."

That was all Rarity needed to hear. "Excellent. We'll just ask you a few questions and then we'll find out if you are right for the position. First, would you like anything to drink?"

"No, ma'am." Straight Lace took a seat opposite to the unicorn, causing ominous creaking from the stressed bench.

"Alright. Right to business. That's good. A strong work ethic and a commanding personality are essential to this task. Do you believe you hold these qualities?"

"Yes, ma'am. I graduated from the Equestria Military Academy and served several years in The Guard. I have been on the front lines of combat and survived the desert campaign in the lawless badlands, reining in everything from cartels to mobs to local regimes. I feel my experience will help me maintain order among any wild beasts I encounter."

She dictated her speech without a hint of feeling or pride. She was just stating the facts. The impressive, humbling, scary facts.

Rarity was not quite sure how to respond. Though, she knew for certain that taking note of all of the cottage's exits would be a very smart move considering the company.

She also knew that any attempts to try and unjustly dismiss this applicant would likely result in another article in Crime Time along with a particularly fabulous obituary slot.

That's when Pinkie came to the unexpected rescue, finding a seat on the other side of their yellow and pink host.

"Okay. So you can stop a critter coup. That's great." She examined her hoof, acting unimpressed. "But tell me, Lacie-"

"It's Straight Lace."

Pinkie ignored her. "Can you be fun?"

Straight Lace cocked her enormous head. "Fun?"

"Fun!"

"I- I didn't- I don't- why is that important?" A look of uncertainty adorned her face for the first time in years.

Pinkie was appalled. "Important? Important?! Important?!" She hopped up onto the table to press her face up against Straight Lace's.

"I'm... sorry?"

"Fun is the most important thing ever! Without fun, life is meaningless! Our lives mean nothing without fun!"

Straight Lace's lip started to shake. "I- I don't think I know how to make 'fun'."

"So how do you plan to entertain these little furry wurry itsy bitsy critters?"

"I- I don't-"

"Are you capable of doing what is necesary, soldier?"

Strands of the large Earth pony' immaculate black mane detached themselves from the main body, sticking up defiantly. She could feel another flashback to the war coming on. The hellish shrieking of the griffon fleets. The constant threat of Pie-E-D's. The knowing that, around every corner, another band of marauders waited to pounce on her. For a moment, she was a rookie again. Her throat went dry. The emotions came back. Sorrow, regret, hopelessness...

Fear.

Her eyes locked directly in front of her as she made a halfhearted salute. She was shaking visibly, ruining her image of a redoubtable earth pony.

"Are you?" Pinkie barked at her from behind a pair of sunglasses that weren't there a moment ago.

Straight Lace's breathing quickened. She swallowed. "No...?"

"What?! I can't hear you, soldier! You're gonna have to speak up! Are you prepared?!"

"No! I'm not prepared! I'm sorry, sergeant! I can't do it!" She stood up and started pacing the room.

Pinkie returned to her seat, confused. "Relax. It was just a question."

Straight Lace would be doing no relaxing. "Don't discharge me, sergeant! I'll clean the latrines! I'll do laps! That's it! I'll go to forty laps and then I'll clean the latrines! I'm a good soldier, sergeant!" Her steps rocked the cottage as she fled from the cottage. The thumping was coupled with repeated mutterings of "I'm a good soldier".

Rarity's jaw was several meters underground. Any deeper, and it would have required a mining team to retrieve. Fluttershy curled into a trembling ball when the yelling started. Pinkie just shrugged.

"Jeez. What was her problem?"

The unicorn managed to take a break from catching flies to stare incredulously at her pink friend. Fluttershy peeked out from her mane to check for signs of conflict. Her head emerged cautiously.

"C-can we be done for today? I don't really need help."

Rarity nodded, adjusting her hair. "Sure, darling. I think that was quite enough. I have, uh, things to tend do. I'll see you all later."

"Okay," replied Fluttershy softly. "Thank you for coming. W-we aren't doing this again, are we?"

The unicorn went wide eyed at the thought of conversing with more of Ponyville's unemployed. The thought did not appeal to her.

"No. I'm confident that our alternative will be successful. That is, unless, you want to check again..." Rarity gave an unconvincing smile. The pegasus shook her head wildly.

"Good," she said, relieved. "So long." She checked both ways upon reaching the doorway, then took off running for fear of crazy ponies.

Pinkie stood and skipped to the door. "I should go too. I need to go find this guy that owes me some bits. Bye Fluttershy! Hee hee, that rhymes!" The door shut behind her, but the talking continued.

The yellow pegasus took a few deep breaths to try and calm down. She decided that some nice, therapeutic brushing of little fuzzy animals was in order.

"Angel?" she called. "Could you come here please? I need you."

...

"Could you at least describe what the rest of the song sounds like?"

"Nah. It's pretty much the same throughout. Don't worry about it."

"But I want to know. I feel like I could perform better if I knew the whole thing."

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow at her clone lying next to her. She put a hoof on his shoulder , mock consoling him. "If you are that worried about it, we can fly back to Canterlot and ask to hear it again. Personally, I think we might even have to tone down our show so they don't kick us out for being professionals."

"Is that one of the rules?" Blitz asked, worried.

Dash shrugged. "I don't think so." She flashed a grin. "But they might make an exception for us."

The stallion smiled back. "I wouldn't put it past them."

She laughed and inched closer to rest her head on him. Few ponies could tolerate the amount of self praise she put out, let alone match it. It was fun, even if it was sarcastic half the time.

Dash could feel herself falling to sleep in that position. It was too comfortable. Even if they had gotten the routine down to a science on their first three tries, they couldn't just stop.

She grunted at the thought of getting up, but muscled through it. "Wanna go again?" she asked, pushing to her hooves.

Blitz blinked and picked his head up, surprised. Then he shrugged and lied back down. "If you think you're up for it. I wouldn't want to tire you out. Shouldn't we be practicing, though?"

Dash brought a hoof to her face. "I was talking about the show, stupid."

"Oh. I- um. I didn't mean..." He failed to find the words.

"We'll have plenty of time for that afterwards, Blitzy." An alluring smile spread across her lips while she captivated him in her stare yet again. She was finding this all too easy.

Blitz couldn't hide the longing from his face. His mouth hung partway open as if he were the victim of something much more desirable than a cockatrice.

Dash chuckled and released him. Walking over to the edge of the cloud. "Come on, dude. Snap out of it." She flapped her wings, gesturing him to hurry up. His wings flapped as well, though not voluntarily. He followed her into the air.

"I wish you'd stop doing that," he admonished, folding his forelegs like a foal who was refused a cookie before dinner.

"No you don't," Dash said back casually. She grabbed a cloud to set up for the background.

"It's annoying. First I pass out from remembering things, then I space out when you brainwash me. How do you do that even?"

"Well first, I smile a little. Maybe curving up on one side more than the other. I could flick my mane back a little bit. Then, I half close my eyes. Next, I-"

"I know that much!" he interrupted.

"Then why'd ya ask?" Dash asked, still amused by his confusion.

Blitz frowned. "Stupid, sexy, friggin'..." he grumbled, dispersing some excess clouds with an aggressive kick.

Dash snorted. Colts were funny sometimes. They were just so easy to screw with.

"Meanwhile," she said, stopping his frustrated mutterings. "What makes you think you'd be able to tire me out?"

Finally Blitz got his turn on the offensive. "Please," he said, motioning toward himself. "I'm amazing."

The mare laughed, rolled her eyes, and shook her head. "Sure. Keep acting cocky. See where that gets you."

Blitz made a resigning gesture. "Hey. I've liked where it's gotten me so far."

"And where is that?" Dash shot back without thinking.

Blitz bit his lip to hold himself back. He wasn't quite sure how to handle being tossed such an easy line like that. He made no effort to hide the thoughts from his face. "Where should I start?"

"Oh shut up!" she retorted. She tried to be offended, but she couldn't help but snicker at the suggestive banter. That was another thing she kept noticing. Matching wits always seemed to go well. Neither had the upper hoof for long, what with sharing a brain and whatnot. She often found the results of their joking around to be pretty damn hilarious.

"Come on," she said, landing in her position. "Let's get started before somepony gets punched."

"Feisty," Blitz remarked, finding his perch. Though, he said it under his breath for fear of actually getting punched. Gender stereotypes didn't seem to apply to them regarding physical ability. If she wanted to hurt him, she probably could.

Dash took a deep breath. She imagined the crowd waiting silently to be rocked out of their minds. She tensed up as a synthesizer groaned through her mind. When it stopped, her eyes shot open and she hit the sky. There was no need to even initiate it with words this time. Blitz practically shared the vision with her.

Polychromatic fire flared up behind them as the drums crashed in their ears.

...

Bakeries always smell like cakes and cookies, tempting one's nose as soon as they enter. It really saves them some trouble with convincing the customer. The sound of a growling stomach is about as revealing to a haggling baker as showing one's hand is to a card player. Almost every food establishment has this advantage. Where products are sold, it is likely they can be smelled there too.

Farms did not have this advantage.

It's not that the smell of fresh soil and grass doesn't have its own charm. It can be quite relaxing, actually. Just, that smell didn't really compare to a nice, sweet apple.

Applejack was given another whiff of wood as she leaned in to inspect the roots of the tree. It can't always be time to buck apples. Sometimes, you've got to grow them.

And they were definitely growing. The farmer could see nothing wrong with this specimen's health, which was rather surprising. The repeated attacks to its branches by a certain unicorn looked very severe at the time. Applejack had never seen such abuse since her visit to the northern lumberjacks.

She shuddered at the memory. It took a special kind of pony to put all that care into something only to cut it down for resources. She could never do such a thing to her trees. Her pride and joy. Her children. Her-

"Why do you stick you stupid little-!"

Applejack glanced behind her, as one normally does when a copious amount of obscenities is spat out with educated elegance in the middle of a serene slice of nature. There was also the issue of an unannounced guest snooping around flinging curses in the possible presence of a young filly who had yet to get her cutiemark.

She walked calmly around the trees to the source of the wailing, though it was easy to place the voice. Few ponies knew that many words for, well, you know.

"Ya know, granny woulda' tanned mah' hide if she heard me talkin' like that."

Twilight jumped at the interruption, hitting her head on a low branch. Sparing the branch of any curses, she turned to the farmer. "Wha? Applejack? What are you doing here?"

"Ah' work here, sugar cube. Ah' also live here."

The unicorn looked around like a filly lost in Canterlot. Surely, she had seen a tree before. "I'm in the orchard? How did I get here? A minute ago I was in the park..." She trailed off, trying to remember just what exactly brought her there.

Applejack laughed slightly. It wasn't the first time Twilight had wandered there, distracted by something. Although, those times she had been reading a book. The earth pony looked her over for any sort of article interesting enough to send Twilight on an afternoon walk. She found no books or even her saddlebags in which she stored her books. She seemed utterly unencumbered.

That's when Applejack noticed the to wooden blocks hovering in the air by the purple pony's trademark glow.

She leaned in to examine them. There didn't seem to be anything interesting about them, other than the fact that they were stuck together.

"Whatcha' got there? 'Nother one of yer' experiments?" She poked one of the blocks to move it away from the other, but only succeeded in sending it spinning.

Twilight gave up on her retracing of steps. She didn't even remember leaving the library. "Sort of. Those are duplicates and I'm trying to understand the Attraction between them. There is nothing pushing them together and they keep. Going. Back." She separated the blocks with each of her last words, watching angrily as the drifted back.

Applejack snatched them from the magic aura and gave it a try. The came apart easily, but went right back together without any help. "Heh. Pretty neat. Like them magnet things Applebloom used to play with. Can't say I've ever seen a wood one, though."

"Yeah, it's great and all. But why?" She failed to hide her agitation. Something about how she said the word suggested that it had been said rather frequently.

The farmer shrugged and hoofed them back over. "Y'all know better then ah' ever will 'bout that."

Twilight's head sagged forward. "Which is no use whatsoever. I have no idea."

"Ain't there anypony else in town that can help ya? There's got to be another science savvy pony in Ponyville other than you."

"I wish. But even if there was, I wouldn't be able to tell them anything. 'Oh hey, I made a spell that clones things. Also, ignore those two that look exactly alike over there. They're not related, but they definitely aren't clones.' No. I have to do it on my own. I just don't know what to do, though." Her stance portrayed absolute hopelessness.

Applejack scratched her head. "Ah' understand that yer' frustrated 'bout all this, but do ya' need to be this worried and upset? It ain't the end of the world if ya' can't figure out some silly little, eh, what did you call it?"

"Attraction."

"Right. Attraction." Of course, Applejack already knew the details of that phenomenon. It was the first thing she and the other girls discussed when they began their plot. "What could go wrong if ya' ignore it?"

The unicorn rolled her eyes. "A lot! First of all, Rainbow Dash is off in the mountains with herself as a colt doing Celestia-knows-what and she might not even want to!"

"Woah there sugar cube. Blitz don't seem like that kind of pony. Also, Dash'd give him a nice kick in the face if he tried anything without permission."

"I didn't mean it like that. I just mean that her feelings might not be real. They might think they like each other when it's really just the Attraction."

Applejack only shook her head and smiled. "Ah' understand that yer' worried, Twi'. You're a great friend caring about other ponies like that. But ah' don't think ya know Dash like ah' do. She ain't really the kind of pony that does somethin' cause she's told to. Heck, in my experience, she goes and doesn't do as she's told out of spite. When she follows directions, whoever's given 'em is probably on the up and up. Nopony seems to hold her respect unless they deserve it."

Twilight opened her mouth to refute the argument, but it worked faster than her brain, which turned up nothing. She'd been beaten, in her own language no less. The earth pony's logic, riddled with country speak, held as firm as one of her trees.

"There's still a risk," she replied meekly. It lacked the proof she liked to present behind any claim.

"I wouldn't worry about it, sugar cube." She patted her friend on the back. "What I would worry about is walkin' around without lookin'! This could just as well have been the Everfree ya wandered into!" Her grin was infectious, finding its way up to Twilight's face when she wanted to pout.

"Okay. I'll be careful. Thanks. Oh, and come by tomorrow before we head out to get your hoof enchantment. We don't need any other ponies falling of clouds." The smile didn't go away like she told it to.

Applejack nodded. "Ah'll be there. See ya 'round, Twi'."

The unicorn waved and set off down the path where she thought she had came from. Applejack waited and started a countdown from five in her head.

"...three...two...one...and-"

Twilight's head peaked around the corner, with her mouth ready to speak. She was silenced, however, by the farmer's hoof pointing the other way down the path.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

...

The duo ran through the performance over and over until it was almost boring. They could practically do it with their eyes closed, and did for one trial just for the hell of it. Fatigue had hardly begun to set in during their repeated exertions, as was expected from any sort of action that had been memorized and mastered.

The only reason they stopped at all was the sudden shortage of clouds. Who'd have thought that wasteful expenditure of a slowly replenishing resource could eventually deplete it? Evidently, not the two best weather ponies on the other side of the mountains.

The weather at the moment called for scarce cloud cover over Canterlot Valley. Really scarce. Like, one cloud. It held aloft a slightly deflated saddlebag and two violently shaking pegasi.

"I'm beginning to wish I packed a towel," Dash thought aloud. She tapped a hoof against her mane to check for moisture, which led her to yet again attempt to shake her mane dry.

Blitz was having similar issues, having resorted to spinning with his legs spread out to air out the water from their "bath" in the creek. All the while, the encroaching night threatened them with its chilling wind, made all too potent against their damp fur. They could have been done down there sooner if they hadn't gotten held up...

Ahem.

"I'm beginning to wish you warned me before I tried to dry off with the cloud," Blitz responded bitterly.

Dash rolled her eyes. "Sorry for thinking you were smarter than that. I'll remember next time."

"Who do you think I get it from?" He retrieved their sleeping bags and proceeded to spread them on the cloud.

"Don't try to pin it on me. It's not my fault colts are stupid." She returned her mane to its normal look with one more shake.

Blitz snorted. "Says Miss 'why don't we start making out in the water?' Cause that was such a great idea."

"You weren't complaining."

"Didn't get much of a chance to. You tackled me onto the rocks. Damn near cracked my head open." He didn't sound all that broken up about it as he slipped into his travel bed.

"Hey. You started it. You came up behind me trying to grab me. I just went along for the ride."

"Heh," Blitz chuckled. "Ride."

Dash joined in the laughter as she entered her bed. She tried to find a comfortable spot to sleep, which eluded her. There was some sensation of feeling too light on her shoulders, as if the bag was too big or the stuffing had been ripped out. Her tossing and turning led her eyes to Blitz's bag, which spun right along with hers.

"Oh yeah..." Dash said, shaking her head at her own lapse in judgement. She nudged over to her clone who still writhed in almost-comfort. "Dude. Open up."

He grunted. "Open what up?"

"The bag. We're not weird anymore, remember?"

A blank look washed over his face, closely followed by embarassed recollection. "Oh yeah," he said, rubbing his forehead. He then hastily unfastened the sack, allowing Dash to squirm in before he shut the night air back out. She, in turn, engulfed Blitz in her bag.

"Aw, dude. You're still wet," the mare noted while making no move to remove herself from his grasp.

He smirked and gave her a short squeeze. "So are you."

She met his look, and raised him a bit of mockery. "Pft. You wish."

He craned back his head and looked at her, astonished. "Was that a challenge?"

"Why would I even bother?" She twisted around onto her back onto him. "We both know I have the upper hoof in this relationship."

Blitz couldn't quite make out that the time to contest one's rank was not when the very attractive opponent was in bed with you.

"I've been meaning to ask," he began. "How come you always end up on top of me?"

She shrugged. "I guess you're just really submissive or something."

A growl escaped from the stallion's mouth. "If we didn't need to be flying tomorrow, I'd show you submissive." His breathing grew heavy and he traced his muzzle across her neck.

She flipped back to her stomach again, propped up by her forelegs on Blitz's chest. She leaned in, fiery confidence dancing in her eyes. "Don't let that stop you, Blitzy. I'll let you rest up before the show tomorrow." She snorted. "You'll need it when I'm done with you."

Far below the valley's remaining cloud, a mother owl looked up to the sky from her nest, not in awe of the meticulously placed stars or the dazzling light of the moon, but appalled at the primal sounds echoing through the forest. She knelt down to her hatchling and wrapped a wing around its ears. It was far too early to be having that conversation.

...

Comments

[Humanist]

Right, I just found this story and it is really late so I've just been skimming a lot of it, but...

Why is Twilight the only sane one? Why have all the others lost all sense of morality?

On the contrary, Fluttershy, we all have very practical applications for them

They are custom creating individuals for themselves, and they (or at least Rarity) clearly don't see them as individuals. The way she is discussing the "applications" they would have for sapient beings is disgusting, and I am surprised nobody but Twilight seems to have called her out on it (worse, the others seem to be agreeing). Not only that, she intends to create the individuals in question specifically to fulfill her own selfish desires.

Also, being forced to like someone is messed up and unethical as hell, which again only Twilight seems to realize. Rarity actually likes the idea, which is incredibly disturbing. Does she not realize it is basically the same thing as a toned-down version of Twilight's "Want-it-need-it" spell? By her logic, she would be perfectly fine with having such a spell used on her so she fell in love with anyone or anything, since she would be happy, even though it would be against her will.

Basically, the entire main cast besides Twilight and Rainbow Dash (EDIT: And possibly Fluttershy) seem to have suddenly become sociopaths. It is rather disconcerting.

EDIT: Well, skimmed a bit more and it seems like you realize how messed up Rarity, Pinkie, and Applejack are right now, and how bad of an idea what they are planning to do really is. It was good to see Angel being the voice of reason, even though Fluttershy couldn't understand him.
I'm surprised nobody else in the comments seems to have discussed the ethics of the whole situation, though. Some people even seem to be supportive of Rarity's plan, which is... disturbing.

[vinilscratchedmynose]

!EPIC!
!LoL!

[Seether00]

So when is the 'Make Twilight get us clones' conspiracy going to reach fruition?

[Aurum]

Haha! I just love how they're playing with Twilight!

[Mozzarella]

2205861 Whew. Alright. Now I get the other extreme.

At first, no one seemed to understand the existence of the attraction, so I played it up a little. I guess I overdid it a little bit, if readers are drawn to that conclusion. My bad.

I assure you that our favorite cartoon ponies are not aspiring slave drivers. Everypony's opinions, for or against duplication, tie into a point I'd like to make later. I'm actually glad you've taken this side on the matter. There was an overwhelming opposition to the "Twilight" side beforehand. Rarity's mention of "practical applications" was just her trying to be able to appeal to Twilight's more logical train of thought. In reality, their desires boil down to what Pinkie stated aptly: It would be fun.

Really, I can't explain much without going into future parts of the story, which I have yet to write. I would also rather not explicitly state what I've been writing. You know, gotta be mysterious and ambiguous and all that. I would be happy to explain in a message if you'd like. What I can tell you here is that there may be a case of over and under reactions to everything in certain ponies. Everything will be addressed eventually, is what I'm trying to say.

Meanwhile I'm getting all giddy over this wall of text. Someone went and analyzed my story. You're making me blush. In addition, I believe all of the supposedly unethical characters' motives could be better justified in a CAKE song, "Love you Madly". It's pretty great.

I'm sorry if I couldn't answer your questions sufficiently. I really am greatful for the criticism and I'll try to improve accordingly.

[Mozzarella]

2206377 Brief? Okay.

A long winded and unnecessary aversion of an MLP cliché involving an appearance of my favorite animal.

[Blankscape]

2206688

I too revere a bird/ This one with respect and awe/ Kill you quick, it could.

[Dusty Sage]

I'm just delighted at the idea of a pony named "Weasel Dust," and that he'd look like this: "an off white Pegasus with even off-er white hair." Now that's the Power of Description.

[CT108]

2206705 when I watched this I was like (BIG GASP)

[Richu Yue]

MOARRR
P-p-please?

Lovely story though. It's amazing. KEEP GOING.

[well_thishappened]

what are you saying that dash and blitz are doing I have an idea but are not quite sure

[WorldWalker128]

The earth pony towered above Pinkie, looking directly at the doorway as if it were still closed. Her black mane lacked curls, waves, or any kind of deviation from a straight line. Firm muscle could be observed through her dark blue coat, adding intimidating ripples behind the large, flawless boot lying along her flank.

This may sound stupid given their physic is completely different, but for some reason the Administrator-lady from Team Fortress 2 comes to mind.

[Amythest Diamond]

3204424
I wonder....

[OmnipresentMicroorganism]

3633130

I think that Twilight said that for ponies, it's an attraction of a different sort.

*wink wink* *nudge nudge*

[Amos Anon]

Pinkie stood and skipped to the door. "I should go too. I need to go find this guy that owes me some bits. Bye Fluttershy! Hee hee, that rhymes!" The door shut behind her, but the talking continued.

Oh goodness.