The Finale, Part 1
“HE DID WHAT?!”
Pinkie Stick gulped under the stress of the situation. It had been rather shocking for the rest of the castle’s knick knack to hear what Spike had done, that he had given up his and all of their freedoms so Rarity could go save her father. While it was the right thing to do, some of Pinkie’s friends weren’t taking it so well… one in particular.
“There is no way in Celestia’s sweet sunny skies that I’m staying a teacup forever!” Rainbow Cup sneered, hopping around in a fit of rage. “How could Spike do something so… so… pigheaded?! The next time I see him he better watch. Oh boy he better watch out. I’m going to hurl myself into his eyes and cut him when I shatter on his face.”
“Rainbow Dash!” Tankardjack frowned. “Now don’t talk like that, little darling. Now I know that this here is a bit hard to swallow and, well, I’m going to never see my family again… but still, Rarity’s father was in danger, and if I was Spike, I’d do the same thing a hundred times over.”
“Well I wouldn’t!” Rainbow barked. “This is so stupid! You all can’t really be serious about agreeing with Spike!”
The rest of her friends didn’t say anything, they just looked away. Rainbow realized that they were on Spike’s side on this matter, as hard as it must have been hard for some of them to swallow. It was for the best and at least Rarity would be happy.
“So that’s it?” She asked. “You’re just going to roll over and take this? I mean come on! We were so close to becoming ponies again, you can’t just give up when we’re so close!”
“There’s nothing we can do, Rainbow,” sighed Twiclock. “We just have to get used to being like this for the rest of our lives, I guess. It shouldn’t be too bad, we did fairly well for the past year like this. I’m sure the next sixty to eighty years should just fly by and we’ll eventually rot or rust and crumble into dust.”
“That doesn’t sound very nice…” moaned Fluttershy. “I don’t want to be a bench for the rest of my life… but I’d be okay with it if it meant no pony would have to die… I hope that Rarity’s father is okay.”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” said Tankardjack. “He’s a tough one. A little soup and bed rest and he’ll be right as rain.”
But Rainbow wasn’t going to take this lying down. The little teacup started hopping towards the door of the kitchen in a fit. “Well, you know what? To heck with all of you! Unlike someponies, I’m going to actually do something about this. There’s still time to try and convince Rarity to be with Spike. Pinkie said it herself, she looked like she was falling in love with him. We just need her to say it to the big lug and were all cool again. Easy, right?”
“Now where do you think you’re going, little lady?” Tankardjack barked at the teacup. “It is far past your bedtime and I don’t need to give you another bath.”
Rainbow was shaking. She had put up with all this nonsense for over a year, the curfews, the baths, being treated like a child by her friends. She had no idea why and she had had it. The little cup spun around and furiously bounced up to the large metal tankard. Rainbow was going to get to the bottom of this now. “Okay, you know what? What is your problem, Applejack? What’s all of you guys problem? All year you’ve been treating me like I was a newborn foal and I want to know why! Did Ding-a-whatever cast a crazy spell on you as well? Or did you all just agree that it’d be fun to torture the teacup?”
Tankardjack seemed unfazed by Rainbow’s rant, barely even noticing her heavy animal panting. The tankard glass looked around the to the rest of her friends as they all seemed to have a bit of a telepathic conversation with one another before they all nodded, the focus going back onto Tankardjack and Rainbow Cup.
With a sigh, Tankardjack began to speak for all of them. “I guess there’s no point in hiding it from you anymore, Rainbow. Truth be told, I wasn’t for the plan in the beginning but Twi was able to convince me to go along with it. I tell ya it was almost painful to keep this from you.”
“What do you mean? Keep what from me? I’m confused, what’s going on?”
“The babying, Rainbow Cup,” said the tankard. “It was all a plan to keep you busy and occupied so y’all wouldn’t go and do something rash. Do y’all remember what you tried to do when you first were turned into a china cup?”
“Yeah, I tried to go after Ding-a-ling and I—“
“And you tripped and nicked your head on the stone floor, we all remember.” Tankardjack motioned to the small chip on the rim of Rainbow’s head. “You see, you’re fragile RD, you’re not made of wood or metal like the rest of us. One bad tumble and you’re bits in a dust pan. So Twilight started to come up with a plan to keep you safe. She wanted me to keep you more or less contained so you wouldn’t get hurt. So I set up a curfew and a bedtime, I give you several baths to eat up the daylight and never let you go outside unless you wore enough sweaters and scarves to soften any stumble or fall. We did this all to protect you, Rainbow.”
“I… wait, what?” Rainbow asked, jumbled and confused by what her friend was saying. Her whole world was now shattered. The reality that she thought she knew was no more than a ruse, a false delusion that her friends had set up. She felt betrayed that they would do something like this without telling her. On the other hoof, knowing the truth would have just caused her to rebel harder. It had been a distraction to keep her busy while they waited out their days as teacups and other knick knacks, but that didn’t make help make the feeling of betrayal any less painful. “So you all just lied to me? How could you do that to me?”
“We we’re just trying to protect y’all.”
“So what!? Not like it’ll matter in a few hours,” Rainbow said, hopping to the door. “I’d rather risk my life to become a pony again then just roll over and take it. So you can sulk in your pity, but I’m going to convince Rarity to stay and break the spell.”
Her friends wanted to stop her, but deep inside they knew that there was nothing that they could do. If there was any sort of hope that they had, it all resided on that blue tea cup’s shoulder.
She had to act fast, although that was a task she used to be good at. Even the smallest of hallways were like track fields in the miniscule form. With no other means of transportation than hopping it took several minutes to get down even the first hallway. It was nothing short of pure luck that she was able to catch Rarity just as she was heading down the stairs.
“Oh thank goodness, hey Rarity!” Rainbow called out to the unicorn rushing by. “We need to talk! You’re making a huge mistake!”
But Rarity continued to rush down the hallways and down the stairs, paying no attention to the screaming teacup. Her mind was too focused on gathering her things and getting to her father. Thankfully, it was also too distracted to notice that she left her saddlebag on the floor and out of sight, giving Rainbow Cup the perfect opportunity to slip in and stow away in her diamond blue sack.
“There, I think that’s everything… oops! Almost forgot my saddlebag,” Rarity said, magically strapping her saddlebag on. With everything accounted for, she pushed passed the main doors of the castle and galloped valiantly into the snowy forest of the Everfree. “Hold on, father, I will save you!”
Rarity ran, passed the thorny bushes, over the dead logs, and under dormant tree branches. She hopped frozen puddles, plowed through snow banks and even trekked in the terribly fresh sludge of slushy ice and mud, ruining her hooves. The ivory unicorn checked the magical mirror constantly for directions, it’s silver reflection acting as a map to her father’s location in the maze of trees that the forest revealed to be. She lost track of time, but eventually she found her father, barely alive and shivering, a fine sheet of snow concealing him. The old stallion’s beady eyes glimpsed in his daughter’s direction before finally conceding to the elements and collapsing on the white ground.
“F-father!” Rarity gasped, rushing to her fallen father’s side. “It’s okay now, I’ve got you, you’re going to be okay. I’m going to get you back home and better.”
“Rarity…” Whispered Magnum weakly, barely able to stand on his own four hooves. “Am… am I a bad father?”
“What? Of course not, you’re the best daddy any filly could hope to have. What would make you think such a thing?”
“Because… I didn’t save us the ten minutes,” he said. “I’m a failure of a father, I’m worse than garbage. I belong in the trash.”
“No, you don’t! You’re a great dad that just needs to maybe stop blaming the princess and the government for all your problems.”
Magnum snickered a little, but was getting drowsier by the second. “Like that’ll ever change, Rare-rare… I’m too set in my ways, dear.”
“Yes, I know,” whimpered Rarity as her father’s weight grew heavier against her. “Now save your energy, I’ll get you back to the boutique.”
From then on silence reigned as the two travelled in the snow, and eventually back to the edge of Ponyville.
It was a little strange, being back in town after all this time. Rarity felt a little alienated from her old life and found the streets of the little village a strange and foreign land. Also, the strange and rather large clump of snow that had built up on her doorstep was new; she thought the neighbours would have at least swept up a little bit. But she had no time for that, she would clean the snow out later, after her father had recovered.
However, when Rarity and Magnum entered the house and the lock clicked, the pile of snow began to shiver, and the weeks of snow fell off the protective shield that Consort had cast to keep him and Feather Duster from freezing. The two had allowed the snow to surround them, cutting them off from the rest of the world and making their own little sanctuary in the snow. It had been a rather romantic time, but alas they had a job to do, and it was now time to call Prince Blueblood.
“Does it really have to end, Consort?” Feather asked, still cuddled up in her love’s hooves. “We could always not tell the dumb-dumb. He’d probably believe any story we’d pitch at him. I mean he’ll probably just go and strut off to the next floozy anyways.”
“And you’re probably right, but I’m sworn by my duty to do what he beckons, even if it’s stupid and ridiculous,” sighed the stallion. “Personally I’m looking forward to finally getting this all done and over with it.”
Feather Duster groaned, “I guess so, but I did enjoy our time alone,” she smiled. “Even if it was short lived.”
“We were there for over a week, Feather,” Consort chuckled, rolling his eyes. “C’mon, let’s get back to the train cart and to his royal pain, it’s getting cold.”
“That’s such an old pony thing to say,” teased Feather Duster, clinging to his side as they walked to the snow. “So what’s Blueblood plan for that Rarity girl anyways?”
“Not very good,” mumbled Consort. “He has a rather dastardly plan in store for them, and even though it means nothing at this point I would like to vouch one more time that I do not approve of this idea. I don’t like it, not one bit.”
“Save it for the choir, loverboy,” sighed the maid pony. “I’ll never understand how or why you’ll stand idly by while Prince Stupid does something… well, stupid.”
“When Blueblood has his mind set on something and he actually cares enough to remember it, he’s going to do it regardless of what anypony thinks. I can’t stop him, so I stay by his side to at least do damage control. You know, make sure he doesn’t make too much of a donkey’s rear end of himself.”
“Understandable, I guess…” said Feather Duster, reluctantly agreeing with the red stallion. “I just hope no one gets hurt.”
“Eh, what’s the worst that can happen?” Consort asked, as the two slowly headed towards the train station, making steady and cautious steps to prolong the inevitable.
While they walked in the snow, Rarity got busy taking care of her father. She got him out of his snow soaked cloak and threw blanket after blanket on top of him, doing her best to warm her father up. She rushed into the kitchen and started working on some hot soup and a nice cup of tea before once again bolting upstairs into the bathroom to fetch the medical kit and flu medicine. Rarity wanted to make sure that her father would get better from his cold as soon as possible so she was in full nurse mode.
“Now I need you to drink this daddy,” she said, lifting a bottle of pink liquid to her father’s lips. “It’ll help with the fever.”
“Thanks…” groaned Magnum, sipping the medicine. “My, my… this taste like your mother’s cooking.”
“Father, I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
“Bad? No, it’s wonderful!” Chuckled her father. “It taste almost like your mother’s double fudge and mayo casseroles, you know, like she makes every year at Hearthwarming? And how she layers the potato chips and peanut butter cookies on top? It’s to die for.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” muttered Rarity. “I don’t know why mother insists on putting cookies on everything.”
“It’s your mother’s pride and joy, dear. It’s what reeled me in.”
“I’m just going to assume that you’re delirious from your flu,” Rarity said. “Now please stop talking for a few minutes and rest, your soup and tea will be done in a few minutes.”
“I will, I will. But first I need to know something. How did you manage to escape from that castle and that terrible dragon? Did you use the skills I taught you when you were five? I bet you did, and your mother thought I was crazy for teaching a filly eighteen ways to kill a stallion.”
“No,” droned the white mare. “And I still get nightmares about what you did to that squirrel. But anyways, I didn’t have to do anything like that to escape from there. In fact, I didn’t have to escape at all; he just let me go free… You know, he’s actually not that bad of a drake once you get to know him.”
“Yeah… I’m sure.”
“I’m serious, father,” frowned the mare. “At first I thought he was rather brutish, but he did have enough kindness to let you free, and he even saved me from a pack of Timberwolves—”
“Wait, he did what?!” Her father gasped. “From an actual pack of highly trained tactical Timberwolves?”
His daughter nodded.
“Really… Well, I guess maybe he can’t be that bad.” He conceded.
“Spike’s actually quite charming, daddy,” the daughter blushed. “He’s nice, and brave, and I guess you could say…” She bit her tongue at the last moment. The words were tumbling at the tip of her tongue but they were still too scared to leap off. “… I really, really, like him.”
Magnum looked at his estranged daughter, it was the look she had when she was keeping something bottled up and refused to deal with her true feelings. However, his past history on this subject had proven to be less than fruitful. This was something she would have to talk with her mother about. “So how’s that soup coming, dear?”
They would never know how the soup would be doing, as there was a loud knocking coming front door.
“I wonder who that could be?” Rarity wondered, leaving her father’s side to answer it. What she saw on the other side was the last pony she’d ever want to see right now… Or ever.
“Hello what’s-your-name,” Prince Blueblood grinned devilishly. “Did you have a nice little… whatever it was that was keeping you from me?”
“Oh goddess no,” groaned Rarity. “Not— look, I don’t know why you’re here but I don’t have time to deal with you right now, right now I have to take care of my sick father.”
“Oh, well then, that’s a wonderful coincidence,” chuckled the young prince. “That’s exactly the same reason why I’m here.”
“What do you mean?”
Blueblood took a few steps aside, revealing the large mob of ponies that have gathered at front of her boutique. It looked like everypony in Ponyville had shown up for this unpleasant occasion. Rarity wondered why they were all there, and then she saw the large black carriage, with barred windows, doubled latch locked doors, and a faded golden logo saying ‘Ponyville’s Mental Institution for Loony Ponies’ on it.
“Oh, no…”
“We’re here to take your daddy to the crazy house,” grinned Prince Blueblood. “He came into town spouting nonsense about dragons and timberwolves and other maddening things. I know, it’s crazy right? Personally I think this is a long overdue imprisonment if I do say so myself, don’t you agree Ding-a-ling?”
The purple face warden of the mental house grinned his toothy, yellow grin. “You could say something like that, son. Although it may just be the alcohol talking.”
“Oh, bother,” yawned Consort, leaning into Feather’s ear. “We’re dealing with a drunkard on top of everything else.”
“Where’s your father?” Ding-a-ling asked. “I have a padded cell with his name on it.”
“What are you ponies talking about?!” Rarity demanded. “My father’s a bit odd I’ll admit but he’s not crazy! My grandmother had him tested.”
“And I’m sure he’s not nutty,” laughed Blueblood. “We’re all supposed to believe that he’s telling the truth about all these crazy things he says. That wolves work for the crown, that there are dragons in castles, that my aunts are actually the head of some sort of secret conspiracy? Can you say that your father has never assumed anything about that?”
“Well, no, but—“
“You see here, ponies!?” The prince announced to the crowd. “Even the mad colt’s own daughter can’t admit her father is sane! The only humane thing to do is to throw him in the pillow room and throw away the key!”
Rarity tried to say something to oppose the prince, but was over spoken by the loud uproar of the crowd. Somehow they were getting sucked into the delusion that was Prince Blueblood’s theory and were even chanting for her father’s imprisonment. She had to do something to save him. “Please, er… my prince,” she gagged, trying her best to scarffle the bile crawling up her throat as she attempted to woo the stallion. “I’m sure that a noble of your magnitude could clearly see that my father, while a little bit different, isn’t deserving of the title ‘mentally insane’. Isn’t there anyway I could convince you to tell them otherwise?”
Prince Blueblood’s highly thought out and educated plan was working, he had what’s-her-name right where he wanted her. Now she was helpless to his next question. “I’m sure that I could convince Ding-a-ling differently, I am a prince after all. A rich, handsome, incredibly good looking prince, as some have said.”
“Oh yes, I can see it now,” she droned. “Now if you could just go and tell that scary looking stallion—“
“Of course, you’d have to do something for me,” he chuckled.
“Like what?”
Blueblood pinned her against the wall of the boutique, entrapping her in between his forelegs. “You can say ‘I do’ and be my wife and queen.”
“What?!”
“I’m sorry, did I stutter?” Barked the prince. “Those you are your options, we can either get married or your father can eat cereal in a straitjacket for the rest of his life. So what’s it going to be, girly?”
“I’ll never marry you!” The mare scowled, acting more on instinct than anything else. She only realized what she said the moment she said it. Of course she had no desire to marry such a repulsive stallion, but she usually would be able to flirt a little, maybe weasel out a technicality. Now she had blown it and ponies were already storming her home to abduct her father.
Magnum was dragged out, twisting and squirming, trying to escape the bindings Macintosh and Time Turner had strapped him in, but it was hopeless. There was only one thing left to do; she had no other option. She just hoped that Spike would be able to forgive her.
“My father is telling the truth!” She cried, reaching for the mirror in her saddlebag. “And I can prove it! Look into the mirror and see the dragon of the Everfree Forest!” The mirror flashed and glowed as an image of the sulking dragon was projected onto the silver for all to see. Everypony gasped at Spike’s frightful appearance. Even Consort and Feather Duster’s eyes widened at this new piece of evidence.
“He was telling the truth…” The advisor gasped.
Prince Blueblood was almost speechless. “There’s an actual dragon in the Everfree?!”
“Yes, but he’s friendly, I promise you,” Rarity said. “He wouldn’t hurt a fly, much less any of you.”
“THERE’S A DRAGON IN THE EVERFREE?!” Shrieked the young prince. “There’s a dragon in the Everfree!” But then he realized something. “There’s a dragon in the Everfree… a vicious, fire breathing, pony eating dragon…” He began to smile wickedly, turning to Rarity. “What’s-her-name, your services will no longer be required. I have a much better plan to become king now!”
“What?”
“Ponies of Ponyville! We’re in the midst of a crisis. A terrible flesh eating dragon is in your forest, just a few steps from your doorways! Your homes aren’t safe, and your families are in danger as long as the beast is allowed to live!”
“Which is why…” Consort stepped in. “We’re going to contact the princesses and deal with this matter civilly and see if we can relocate this dragon to a less populated area.”
“We don’t have time for that, you fool!” Blueblood roared. “This is the time for action, these ponies don’t need politics, they need a leader! They need me! Ponies of Ponyville, if you want to stop living in fear of this dragon then we need to deal with it now! I say we slay this dragon and mount his head over my throne!”
The crowd shouted in agreement, getting rallied by the prince’s speech. It looked like not even Consort could stop the prince. He was out for blood, a power high to destroy this dragon and become king in the process.
“But he isn’t a bad dragon!” Rarity pleaded. “He would cooperate if you just talked to him!”
“Clearly this mare is under the dragon’s spell,” mumbled the prince. “Lock her and her father in the cellar… as for the rest of you, I need every big strong and strappy stallion to help me mount an assault on this dragon’s lair! We’re going to kill this drake!”
He’s a terrifying villain,
Just a demon born of fright,
Here to sacrifice our fillies to his undying appetite
It’ll be havoc for our village if we keep this monster free!
Then it’s time to take some action colts
It’s time to follow me!
Through the dark, through the grime through the shadows of the Everfree,
It’s petrifying but one exciting ride…
Make a trip and a wish, then you’re standing at a castle,
And there’s a terrifying monster deep inside!
It’s a dragon as tall as a mountain!
Fire breath, breathing death I was told,
Make him scream make him cry, we won’t rest till he’s died
Till he’s dead, yes he’s dead! Kill the drake!
“Grab your sword, form a horde,”
And get ready for the breaking point
We’re counting on Blueblood to lead the way!
Say a prayer but beware, that there’s something in that forest,
A monster that we don’t see every day!
He’s a dragon that’s fearsome and wild,
We won’t rest, try our best to prevail!
Tally forth, guard our homes
We’re all itching to go!
With an order here we go~!
"We'll lay siege to his castle and chop up his head!"
Rarity and her father were thrown into the boutique’s cellar, as Blueblood led the mob into the Everfree forest and towards Spike’s castle.
Father and daughter tried to force the door open, but it was locked from the other side. They were trapped.
“This is all my fault…” moped Rarity. “I shouldn’t have revealed his location.”
“Don’t feel bad honey,” her father said. “You were just trying to protect me. And don’t worry, I’ll find a way to get us out of here. I can make an explosive with almost any combination of three items. What do we have to work with?”
“Some fabrics, a few old ponyquins, and maybe some dull pair of scissors.”
“Dang it,” frowned Magnum. “Literally the three things I can’t make an explosive out of.”
“So if you were given a banana, a salt shaker and a bag of marbles you could make an explosion?”
“Sweetie, I want to blow the hinges off the door, not the house.”
Rarity didn’t bother responding to her father’s worrying statement, but instead began searching her saddlebag, maybe she could find something useful in there, a spare key or a hammer… or a little stowaway.
“Rainbow Cup?”
“Oh thank the goddess you opened the bag!” The little teacup gasped as Rarity picked her up. “It was hot in there and I think I got glitter in my nose.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to convince you to come back!” Rainbow barked. “We need you, Rarity! And no offense but I heard what you did and I think you owe us.”
“I know I’m awful… I just wanted to save my father.”
“Whatever, how do we get out?” Rainbow asked. As she started to think she noticed that there was a little window leading to outside. The window was too small for even a filly to squeeze through, but a teacup… “Open that window.”
“Rainbow Cup, I don’t think we can fit through there,” Rarity said.
“I know, but I can. I can find maybe a key or something to open the door. It’s worth a shot.”
“I guess so,” the white mare thought, as she hoisted the cup up the window and through it. “See what you can do, but hurry, we don’t have a lot of time.”
When Rainbow was outside, she started looking for something to work with. Maybe there was a hidden key in the garden, an axe to chop the door open with… then it occurred to her that she wouldn’t able to use any of those things even if she somehow manage to find them. So much for that plan and saving Spike and the rest of her friends, they would need a miracle now.
Just then there was the strange sound of a gears turning and whistles tooting as something began approaching from the distance. A strange device, large and red with axes and saw blades swinging to an enigmatic tune, came rumbling down the road, with two familiar yellow hatted sales ponies riding it.
“I really think we got it this time, brother of mine,” Flim said, grinning at his moustached brother. “Don’t you think?”
“I do,” smiled Flam as they continued to drive into the town. “I’m so glad that we got out of the cider game and got into the wood cutting racket.” The moustached pony patted their machine a little. “I think the Plies lots of Timber device will be a huge success!”
“Indeed, Flam. This P.L.O.T. Device is our greatest idea yet! No longer will ponies have to suffer through the rigorous chore of cutting wood or piling it up! We’re going to make millions off of this idea!”
“And nothing can stop us!” The two laughed.
Rainbow was baffled by this golden opportunity and knew that she had to capitalize on it. With all her might she hopped over to the road, and jumped onto the road ahead of the automotive cart. They didn’t see the cup right away, but when she expertly timed a jump just as it would have run over her.
“Listen losers, I need to borrow this ride.”
The FlimFlam Brothers stared blatantly at the talking teacup before screaming in terror. “Holy rotten crab apples!”
“It’s a talking teacup!”
“BAIL, BROTHER, BAIL!”
The two brothers jumped from the P.L.O.T. Device and landed safely in the bushes, leaving Rainbow Cup in control of the strange machine, and steering it right into the Carousel Boutique, crashing it into the cellar doors and nearly destroying half the building in the process. Luckily, Rarity and her father were able to get out of the way in time. When the smoke and dust cleared Rainbow Cup was hanging from a loose string. And she was grinning like she hadn’t in over a year.
“Somepony better get a mop, because I just awesomed everywhere!”
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Really!!?? that last line better mean pee and not the other thing!!!
Did . . . did Rainbow literally pee? How the Hell does a tea cup do that!?
I laughed way too hard at this part. This the proceeding part where Flim and Flam run for their lives at the sight of a tea cup.
...
Well.
si0.twimg.com/profile_images/2727748211/c3d0981ae770f926eedf4eda7505b006.jpeg
Pony have human morals? Anyway, I love how this is going! Plot! Plots everywhere!
Fantastic job!
dustin.sallings.org/images/unrelated.png
Never ask that in a fictional universe!
The castle is inhabited by a Rare Purple Dragon who has the power to wield many abilities. I think its time to unleash the True Dragon within him when Blueblood finds him......Fire, Electricity, Ice and Earth.
Ok, time to kill Blueblood now.
But how... bubonic plague is too good for him.
Ah! I shall infect him with Pony AIDS! They have no treatment for that yet in Equestria!
Oh yeah, and we need to torture the demon pony who started all this too. Send him to Krastos the Gluemaker.
LOL Plot device
As much as I'm looking forward to seeing Blueblood tossed down a bottomless pit...am I the only one hoping Ding a Ling is next in line?
Only one chapter left and I can't wait to see it. Looking forward to seeing the ending.
I knew that was the reason they treated Rainbow like that. But I agree that they took it too far(I doubt I could last half a year without snapping)
Kind of ironic since he's been living in a dumpster for the past few weeks.
When the spell is broken will everything go back to the way things were and will everyone forget what happened during the year?
I love it go Rainbow Cup
Die blueblood I'm just like magnum and I'm normal I think
Careful spike
I hope ding a ling gets aids with blue blood
P.L.O.T. Device
.......
Lol
What does that last line mean
I hope she just peed
Awesome chapter! When do you think you'll have the next one up?
that last line XD rainbow teacup is best teacup
I love how you kept the story close to the original Disney movie, but added just enough of your own personal twists to keep it interesting.
And the award for best actor goes to Rainbow Cup!
Best supporting actor, Flim and Flam!
Umm, guys? I don't think she peed
I think she came to the rescue!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA- I'll show myself out
Woo! Go Rainbow Cup!
This has been in my favorites since you posted the first chapter, however I've only just got around to reading it.
And my my my! The songs worked out surprisingly well. I'm not usually a fan of linking in songs in fanfiction, but it actually worked out really well here (mainly because Beauty and the Beast has the most awesome music ever).
Although there were the odd grammar mistakes, I can see that I'm in masterful hands. The writing quality of this fic is simply superb, and the dialogue... don't even get me started! It was simply perfect, and the characterization was more so! And still there was so much humour that I was genuinely laughing uncontrollably throughout almost every chapter.
However, you've followed the plotline of the original quite closely, which made many of the larger plot elements quite easy to predict. This really left the fic with very little potential for plot twists or surprises beyond the very end of the fic. Throughout the entire fic, I was hoping for something that would surprise me, but the only things that did were the very small things that were meaningless in the grand scheme of things, such as the Timberwolves being government spies, etc. Granted, they were used for humour excellently, however I still feel like the fic follows the original Beauty and the Beast's plotline a little too closely.
And one criticism I really wanted to bring up was this:
I mean... I think that's what happens in the original, right? It just skips all the romance? But when you transcribed it into this fic... in all honesty, it just felt like poor writing. It felt like you'd skipped over the part where Spike and Rarity actually have that moment - that spark - where they feel something towards each other, even if they don't fully realize what that is. As a romance, I want to see what is that Spike and Rarity see in each other that caused them to fall for each other, and this fic has kinda skipped that out. As mentioned before, I'm not sure if that's emulating the original, or just because you really want to skip to the end (personally I don't blame you; the end is going to be so awesome!). I think that that particular time skip has been the biggest negative in my experience while reading this fic. It just felt so jarring. Just as Spike saves Rarity from the timberwolves, there's two chapters in which there isn't any development between them. Then suddenly in chapter fourteen, we're told that it's 'been a few days' and that now Spike and Rarity are getting along like a house on fire... I just... No. I really didn't like that.
In addition, I just realized you hopped into present tense right after that paragraph.
It should be 'At that moment'.
Now for some speculating. It looks like we're almost nearing the end, but I just wanted to chip in anyway. When Spike and Rarity completely fall for each other and the spell is broken, I don't think Spike's going to transform into a pony. However, neither do I think he's going to transform back into his old form either. I think he's going to stay exactly the way he is currently.
I believe that Rarity will realize that she loves Spike for who he is, rather than what he is, and I believe that she will fall in love with the beast, so that is the form that Spike will take on.
I was also musing over whether Rarity's original reason for rejecting Spike was due to another reason besides his species, but I can't recollect any evidence to back those claims up.
In conclusion: I loved it! I would recommend grabbing a proofreader to comb through the fic one final time, but otherwise this thing is awesome!
Am I the only one who thinks that what everyone did to Rainbow Dash was really awful. I mean that practically torment her by treating her like a baby and they don't even respect her enough to tell her the real reason why they're doing it, ignoring her much of the time for no real reason. Like a couple of chapters ago they bundle her up in sweaters and then Applejack forces her outside anyway even though she doesn't want to anymore (even though it would be safer for her to remain inside), only to have all the others laugh at her. Of course there's the whole thing about them trying to protect her but I'm sure there is a much better way to do it. Perhaps I'm reading into it too much but that part really ruined the enjoyment for me.
Angry Mob Mode Activated!!
(A tad unnerved by the thought of the peaceful residents of Ponyville being put to battle over Blueblood's jealousy)
And I'm going to hazard a guess and say the acronym for the Flim Flam Bros contraption is:
Patented Lumber Omni-Tractor Device
Doggonit, it would be wonderful if you would pick a time frame and stick to it! A month, a few days, now weeks.
Ah, P.L.O.T. devices. Do they ever get old?