Madhouse
The snowstorm outside of Ponyville loomed ever closer as shops closed and ponies scurried to get to the warmth and safety of their cottages, closing the windows and locking the doors behind them. Only the bravest or hardiest of stallions and mares dared to walk the streets in this weather, even then donning heavy scarves and winter coats.
Among these brave individuals was a hooded stallion, trekking through the snow. He clenched the worn fabric of his brown cloak, trying to keep the cape from flying everywhere and letting winter’s cold claws grasp him.
“Insane,” he muttered to himself. “What idiot demands a meeting in the middle of a blizzard?”
The wind picked up in intensity, and the hooded pony found himself sliding backwards in the icy streets and almost slipping on a frozen puddle. Luckily, he was able to regain his balance and avoid a serious injury.
“This had better be worth it,” he said, pulling out a letter from his cloak’s pocket. “Meet me at the Shady Troth in the Ponyville Market District… What, this guy needs a drinking companion? The things I do for free beer…” he sighed, squinting as he looked up ahead. He could barely see the colourful sign of the bar, the lights blinking in the white storm. “I swear he better be buying…”
The hooded stallion forced the door open of the bar, the snow jamming up against it as he pulled. He managed to pull it just open enough so he could squeeze through and get out of the cold.
The bar was fairly deserted, with only a few lonely stallions and mares littered here and there, slowly drinking away their worries. Despite being quite vacant it was also very warm, much to the relief of the hooded pony. He shook the snow off of his jacket and wiped his hooves on the rug as he walked up to the bar. The bartender was lazily cleaning a shot glass, not even paying attention to the approaching customer.
“Excuse me, can I get a tequila sunrise?” the hooded pony asked the barkeep.
She glanced over in his direction, placing the shot glass on the table. “Sure thing, give me a moment.”
“A tequila sunrise?” a rather obnoxious voice called from behind him. “I’m surprised a stallion in this town actually has a finer taste in drinks.”
“I don’t like them,” smiled the hooded pony. “But I’ll take it you’re the pony that dragged me from the asylum so late in this winter’s eve?” He turned around, seeing Prince Blueblood and Consort sitting at one of the back booth, isolated and hidden from the rest of the scarce crowd. “Ah, Prince Blueblood, to what do I owe the pleasure.”
“His highness wishes to make an offer to you,” said Consort. “We understand that your time is very valuable but he believes that he can make it worth your while.”
“Hardly, I watch ponies drool and colour all day for a living,” the hooded pony chuckled. “However, I still feel I need to be compensated for trekking out so late in the night…and in the middle of a snowstorm.”
“Right… Consort, give him what he wants,” smiled Blueblood. “Won’t you have a seat over here?”
“I will,” he said, walking over and taking on the other side of the prince. “Now, what have you to offer me?”
Consort reached under the table and pulled out a large, hefty bag of gold bits. “The prince believes that this is a generous offer.”
“Bits?” wondered the hooded pony. “I have no need for money, I have enough to satisfy my every need. Your bits are no good to me.”
“What?!” gasped the young prince. “How can you not like money?!” Money is the greatest thing ever!”
“Relax,” said Consort, trying to calm the prince down. “Perhaps there is something else we could offer you? Perhaps something like this?” He reached underneath the table again, this time pulling of a large, hefty looking beer keg and slamming it on the table. “This here is fifty litres of pure mountain ale brewed in the snowy peaks of the Vanhoover Mountains. Some say it is the finest substance in all of Equestria but it’s very difficult to get an import order without proper connections.”
The hooded stallion stared at the metal keg. “You have just peaked my interest and seized my attention.”
“Perfect,” grinned Blueblood. “So, for my request—“
“You mean your proposal,” interrupted the hooded pony. “I never do requests.”
“Now see here!” growled Blueblood. “How dare you interrupt me, do you know who I am?! You will do what I say or so help me I will sentence you to death for being difficult!”
“Your highness, please,” hushed Consort. “Please control yourself, you need him in order to continue your plan and he can’t help you if he’s dead. And may I also once again say that I am strongly against this plan.”
“No one cares what you think, Consort,” muttered Blueblood, turning his attention back to the hooded pony. “Now, listen up…”
“I am.”
“I would like you to incarcerate a pony for me,” said the young prince.
“And who would this pony be?”
“A maniac by the name of Magnum,” said Blueblood. “He keeps muttering nonsense about Timberwolves and ten minutes. The stallion is clearly a psychopath.”
“Ah yes, Magnum,” sighed the hooded pony. “The eighties weren’t so good to him, if I recall… But he’s no more dangerous than a fruit fly. There’s no good reason to lock him up.”
Blueblood’s frowned. “Consort.”
“Yes sir,” he nodded, reaching up and placing another keg of ale on the table.
“Then again…” grinned the hooded stallion. “If he’s causing his royal highness such distress then it is my obligation as a warden to relieve you of your annoyance. However, if I may ask, why go through all this trouble to put a pony like Magnum away? Personal vendetta?”
“Not exactly,” mumbled Consort. “Again, I don’t like this idea.”
“Quiet you!” scolded Blueblood. “Now where was I? Oh yes, let’s just say that it’s for a very lucky mare.”
“He was shot down twice and can’t take the fact that it happened…” said Consort. “This is all so he can become king and everypony else he’s attracted to is male.”
“I thought I told you to shut up!” yelled the prince. “Why did I even bring you?”
“Because you needed a pony to carry the gold…and the two kegs of beer…and you…”
“Right…” muttered Blueblood. “Regardless, I need you to put Magnum in the asylum unless what’s-her-name decides to be my wife. For you see…”
When a stallion is thwarted, and denied his honeymoon…
Cause the pretty mare he courted, saw right through his ruse,
But the time has come for an evil plan,
For which he comes to this stallion,
Who’s is from the most mystical clan…
From the Madhouse, for Loons,
“You’ll be picking up a pony,”
“Very tightly,”
“Very soon,”
“Do not call this plan phony,”
“His ignorance still booms,”
“How sad, Magnum is not so well,”
“Prepare your most prestigious cell,”
“And lock it up with several spells…
At the Madhouse, for Loons.”
“Do I make myself entirely clear?”
“It’s a shame Blueblood doesn’t realize he’s a que-“(I swear if you don’t shut up!)
“Put that steed away and you’ll have set in motion,”
“A most dreadful plot,”
“Are you in or not?”
“Oh… oh… Oooooooohhhhh!
I love your inclinations!
And I’ll do it all for booze!”
HEY!
“So get ready Magnum pony,
For an extra-long snooze,”
“No turning back now say goodbye,”
“She’ll be all mine!”
“She’d rather die…then have her father cutinized?”
“Huh?”
“I have no good clue…”
“But book the rooms for honeymoons!
“At the Madhouse, for Loons!”
The two stallions cackled manically in the finale of their song as Consort sat uncomfortably in this chair. “Have I stressed that I think this is a terrible idea? I get the feeling that I’m being ignored.”
“Shut up,” barked Blueblood. “We have to get to what’s-her-name’s house before this blizzard gets any worse.”
“Very well, sire,” sighed the advisor, getting up from the booth and picking up the bag of gold. “Let’s get going.”
“Yes, lets!” said Blueblood, jumping onto Consort’s back. “Hurry up, I want to get there today!”
“Sir…” grunted Consort, strained under the weight of the prince. “I thought we talked about this…”
“And I obviously didn’t listen,” replied Blueblood. “Now quit feeling sorry for yourself and get a move on! Her house isn’t that far away from here.”
“Very well…”
Out the three ponies went, traversing into the snowy winds of the storm. It wasn’t a long walk to the Boutique but it was a difficult one. The weight of the prince combined with all the other supplies hindered Consort and forced him to almost crawl in the building snow.
“There it is,” pointed out Blueblood, waving in the direction of the Boutique. “Move faster you old fool!” He jumped off the older stallion and rushed towards the door. With a swift kick, he knocked the door down. “What’s-her-name! Are you in here?” he yelled into the empty halls. The lights were off and the mannequins were slightly dusty. It looked like nopony had been here all day.
“Is she here?” asked the hooded stallion. “What about Magnum?”
“Neither of them are here,” the prince groaned. “Blast it all! It was such a perfect plan, too!”
“Such a shame,” muttered Consort. “Well, we tried. Shall we retire? I’ve grown quite tired and cold.”
“No…it can’t end like this,” Blueblood said to himself. “She has to come back… We just need to wait and be patient.” He smiled. “And by ‘we’ I of course mean you, Consort.”
“Excuse me?”
“Wait outside for her or her father to return to the house,” he said. “When they return, come and get me immediately. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home to have Feather Duster draw me a bath.”
“But I—yes sir…” sighed Consort, walking to one of the lounge couches. “I’ll be sure to fetch you as soon as she gets here.”
“What do you think you’re doing?” Blueblood asked. “You can’t wait inside, that’s illegal!”
“And breaking and entering wasn’t?” chuckled the hooded stallion.
“Shut up, you,” said Blueblood. “The rules don’t apply to me. I am a prince after all. He’s nothing more than a commoner that works for me, and at this particular moment I’d rather not have to find a new one because he was stupid and got thrown in prison.”
The prince headed out the door, walking in the direction of his train cart with the hooded pony and Consort trailing behind. The red-coated advisor stopped shy at the door and took a seat on the steps. It only took moments for him to start shivering, wrapping his own hooves around him for warmth.
“You look cold, friend,” smiled the hooded pony.
“Well it’s not exactly summer,” he replied. “You wouldn’t happen to have a scarf in that cloak I could borrow?”
“Here,” said the hooded pony, untying the collar of his cloak and taking it off. It fluttered in the wind as he passed it to the shivering Consort. “You need it more than I do.”
“Thank you… wow,” gasped the advisor.
“What?”
“I just… Never mind, thank you… What was your name again?”
“My name,” the pony smiled, his yellow teeth stretched in a smile as his faded purple mane flew in the wind, the bell attached to the spring on his head no longer muffled and was freely ringing in the wind. “You can just call me Ding-a-ling.”
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So this is why I haven't been seeing you on Skype. Finishing up another chapter of this grand story. Though it's been a while since I've seen BatB, but I don't remember a scene like this.
oh boy
hey looks like you got a new chapter out
Nice update...but boy is Bluebore going to get it in the end.
Dimentio Pony!lounge.moviecodec.com/images/attachment/dimentio-vs-discord-30315.jpg
can't wait for the next one!
Wait a minute....*checks chapter 2*
th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/118/2/b/i__ll_destroy_her_by_friagram-d4xsfy9.png
The plot thickens.
Who wants to see Spike eat Blueblood alive? *raises hoof*
Poor Consort, he was looking forward to joining Feather Duster for a bath tonight too!
2281411
This video isn't completely accurate, but it has the scenes of BTAB that you're looking for.
Bah! I love this story. Keep up the awesome work!
-Blazewing
2282769 Ah yes. thank you.
Ding-a-ling... Why does that seem so damn familiar?
2284353
He's the one responsible for turning Spike into a monster, the mane 5 into furniture, and wiped all memories of their existence.
2282334 I double that
2286446 Oh yeah...
That guy's a dick.
2282334>>2286816
I third the motion
I now have the time to read!
Now MOAR!
Best cliffhanger yet. Nice to see Ding-a-ling have a role in his own world.
2282334 Although I would love to see that, that would be a bit too easy on Blueblood's role. A lot more damage can be done to him.
Also, I have two statements.
1: This story is awesome.
2: What is Ding-a-ling's deal?! I mean what does he gain from all that's happening? Why do I have an inkling that he's just doing all this for entertainment?
THAT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS!
That was... I'm
No words.
2710428
I think Ding-a-ling is the pony version of Discord.
Seriously?!?
Dude, you've attempted forced marriage, arranged a kidnapping, and broken and entered a mare's house, nothing you do is legal from here on out!!
As for Ding-a-ling resurfacing, now I'm both scared and confused as to what he can do, the enchantress from the Disney tale had nothing to do with the Beast or anybody else after transforming him...
Ah, I was wondering if we'd ever see old Dingle again. I mean, he could have just stayed gone forever like the enchantress in the movie.
Short but sweet. Blueblood chapters are the best chapters.
Oh man i wonder who's the hooded stallion-
*reads end of chapter*
O.O OHMYGOD DING-A-LING!?!?!
*starts dancing*
Which is the song? The link doesn't work