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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Sorry I tried but I like your old story better
Not bad. I'll keep going and waiting~
10426328
maybe more cohecent sentences?
This chapter has a few spelling errors.
Are you going to finish the story
heh, missed this type of writing style my friend, and great work so far.
Man I don’t know what to say because I liked the old one because of the romance and adventure with lewd bits hear and there but this so far is blood, guts, mental illness/abuse, sunbutt worship, sex joke every five minutes and incest because fucking your sister/brother-in-law Is still incest. But all it’s weird deranged quirkiness I hope it gets better and less Harley Quinn and joker so no offense but it needs a lot of work in the future chapters to make it a less ‘cupcakes’ or ‘smile’ inspired. As I said before I don’t hate it it just needs work and plz don’t take criticism poorly because if you do then people won’t like the story but you keep going man love the story so far.
Good story. Though i admit i am not liking 74 or Pink they are too quick to violence i'm lukewarm to Purple at least she's trying to change but she is trying. Though why does she calling Daniel "Donny" instead of "Danny" ? I hope that gets answered. Second why is Purple so hellbent on wanting to be Daniel's new mother? Thirdly do you plan to have Daniel gain the same marefriend he got in the original story or you planning to change it?