Somnambulant Tea Party
“GREETINGS STRANGE CREATURE!”
The booming voice startled me and nearly knocked me over. I turned around quickly to face my verbal assailant. I couldn’t quite see with my eyes still watery and red from before. I sniffed, and used my arm to wipe the tears away. What I saw nearly reset my brain. I took a few steps back only to stumble into the chair behind me ungracefully. I just watched my family (including myself) vanish in front of my eyes, and now there was a dark blue creature approaching me.
“Wh....wh...wh…” Was all I was able to stutter out as I attempted to back away in the chair. I wiped away the remaining tears from my eyes to let them focus. In front of me was a blue-violet horse. On the horses neck was what looked like regalia with a crescent moon on it. This crescent moon was also on the horse’s flank. I stared with wide eyes at the billowing mane seemingly filled with tiny cosmic sparkles. She had wings resting by her sides and a horn on her head. The teal eyes were gigantic and it felt like they were looking right through me. There was an expression of apprehensive sadness on her face. She took a slow step forward.
“Ahem” She cleared her throat. “Please do not be alarmed. It seems I have caught you at a most vulnerable time. I apologize for using my Royal Canterlot Voice. I am Princess Luna. Fear not for I am only here to help.” Her voice was soft, almost motherly. It was a stark contrast to the loud booming voice I had just heard before. I shivered in shock, still trying to process everything. Her face fell for a moment. “As a proprietor of the dreamscape and ruler of the land, I can help you with your troubles. Please tell me, what is your name?”
My brain was in the middle of a restart. I fidgeted in the chair after she took another step. There was a talking magical horse in front of me. Didn’t she just yell at me? Why was I in an airport? She looks a bit cartoony. Did she say dreamscape? I took a deep breath trying to quiet my thoughts.
“My name is Charlie.” I said slowly while my brain tried to catch up. I wiggled in my chair again. Her eyes drew me in with knowing wisdom, but I could also see pain. She took another slow step forward.
“Welcome Charlie, to my dreamscape.” She raised a hoof as if to gesture around her. “This is my realm and I want to make you feel at home here as we discuss your new life in Equestria.” She sat on her haunches as she spoke. “My sister has told me of your arrival, but I did not intend on seeing you here. My dream realm is usually reserved for…” She stopped as if to think of the right wording. “my subjects.” She paused, looked around, and then continued. “You must have so many questions, Charlie.” She looked at me expectantly with a warm smile. “Do you like tea?”
“Yes. I like tea.” My body was starting to calm down, and my brain finally caught up. I was mostly listening. So far she was asking me some pretty easy questions. What I got out of this conversation was she was here to help me.
“Very well then.” She waved a hoof in the air and the airport around us melted.
“What are you doing?” I asked nervously, fidgeting in my chair again.
“I am merely changing the scenery.” She said in a smile. Everything went black with no trace of the airport left. I looked around in awe, my mouth agape. As if we were in a watercolor painting, the world around began to splash with colors. There were a lot of purples and dark blues. I could see some magenta and some dark green in there. It was a beautiful sight to behold. The moon was splattered into the sky with a light white-yellow casting a faint light onto us, lighting up the area. Everything looked like it had been painted hastily, but at the same time it was beautiful. As the canvas came into focus, I could see we were sitting on a balcony overlooking a garden from the second floor. A round wooden table appeared in front of me, followed by a frilly tablecloth. Things began appearing on the table with a tiny audible pop like a bubble bursting. A bouquet of flowers popped in the center of the table followed by saucers, cups, spoons, a teacup, sugar, and honey. The chair underneath me must have changed because when I looked under me it was more regal looking with a red cushion and intricate woodwork. Luna was sitting in a chair opposite me on her haunches.She was waiting for me to finish gawking at her handiwork with a knowing smile. I looked at her with wide eyes and I finally closed my mouth with a smack. A thought occurred to me that I should be on my best behavior, lest she decide to wave a hoof and make me disappear too.
“So…” Luna began “What kind of tea do you prefer?” She asks nonchalantly.
“Oolong?” I asked. I was sure she could make anything appear here. I was still struggling to keep up with what was going on around me. The sky was still being filled in by stars. I looked up at the moon and was enraptured by its detail.
I was so distracted by the scenery filling itself in that I hadn’t noticed a faint jingle sound. When I turned to face Luna again, the teacup was hovering over my cup in a blue aura. It poured itself into the cup, and then did the same for her. It was then I noticed her horn was glowing in the same blue aura. I blinked a few times and then looked at the cup that had been poured. It certainly smelled like oolong. I tentatively took the cup in my hands and brought it to my mouth. I took a short sip to test the temperature. It was just right.
“No honey or sugar?” She smiled and cocked an eyebrow.
I shook my head slowly, taking a deep sip of tea. I felt the warm liquid go down and it was...relaxing. I placed it back down on the saucer.
“It’s very good, thank you.” I said with a wavering smile. I was nervous. She did say she was a princess, whitch meant I was having tea with royalty.
“I’m glad it is to your liking.” Luna watched me with anticipation before taking a couple of sugar cubes and honey and putting it into her tea. “Now that we have a proper setting, I can formerly welcome you to Equestria.” Her face went neutral as she took a sip and then placed the cup back down with her jingly aura. ”I feel your arrival has been quite…” She paused and inhaled. “Eventful to say the least.” Her eyes softened and she looked at me sympathetically. “Charlie, I’m here to answer your questions if you can answer mine.” She nodded her head to me as if giving permission for me to speak.
My mind raced. I was having tea with a magical pony princess. The sky painted itself right before my eyes. The tea literally popped itself into existence in front of me. I sighed, trying to narrow down a relevant question. I know something about equestrians was said. I know that’s someone who rides horses right?
“So this is all a dream?” I asked quizzically.
“Yes. This is all a manifestation of your subconscious. I am merely a conductor, guiding you. I curate the dream realm.” Her expression was neutral.
“Okay. If this is all a dream why don’t I just pinch myself and wake up?” I pondered.
“I’m afraid it is not that simple. Your slumber is not a natural one. Do you know of the situation in the waking world?” Her expression turned to sadness.
I put my hand to my chin and uttered an audible "hmmm". The last thing I remembered was my therapy appointment. I had gone home, had some tuna and then went to sleep. Then I had weird visions of ponies with wings and horns. There was a lot of pain, I vividly remember that. There were also pancakes. Then there was an airport, I watched my family fade away and then this happened. It was then I came to my very well-thought out logical conclusion.
“I’m sleeping.” I answered matter-of-factly.
Luna just looked at me with a deadpan stare and blinked once.
“You don’t know what’s going on do you?” She lamented.
“I’m having some very interesting dreams.” I mused while looking back up into the twinkling sky.
“Charlie, I do not wish to burden you with truth, but there are some things you need to know.” Luna spoke with hesitation. “You are no longer in your own world.”
I brought my eyes back down to meet Luna’s. I couldn't help but feel a little skeptical, but the pain in her expression was so sincere. What did she mean by “No longer in my own world?”. I took a sip of my tea to digest what was said. Was I just talking to a figment of my imagination?
“If I’m not in my own world, then where am I?” I pondered out loud.
“In the waking world” Luna began “You are being treated for severe burns in Twilight Sparkle’s laboratory, in Ponyville, in the land of Equestria.” She said looking at me to gauge my reaction.
“Okay…” I cocked my head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “And why am I in a laboratory?”
“You are a strange creature to our land, the likes we have never seen before. Our hospitals would not be equipped to care for your needs.” She looked at me apologetically. “But I’m afraid that’s not the only problem.”
“You do realize how crazy this sounds right?” I stared at Luna for a moment. “I’m clearly dreaming. How do I know this isn’t just part of the dream?” I looked at her accusingly.
“Yes, I do understand that all this does seem far fetched. Whether you choose to believe me or not is at your discretion. I am just preparing you for what is to come when you wake.” Luna took another sip of her tea.
“Let’s say I do believe you. How did I get here?” I asked calmly.
“We think you were brought here by powerful magic. That is something we are still addressing. I wish I had a better answer…” She stopped mid-sentence with a look of shock followed by masked horror as she looked at my forehead.
I could feel something trickling down my face. I reached up with my hand to dab at it and I held my hand in front of me to see it was smeared with blood. I looked back at the Princess to see that she had gone quiet, but her eyes were still wide.
“Charlie, allow me.” She broke the silence by popping a black hoofkerchief in existence and wiped my face softly. She looked nervous.
“What’s going on with my head?” I ask with alarm in my voice.
Luna took the hoofkerchief away and took in a deep breath.
“It appears you are growing a horn.” She said in resignation.
“Is this part of the dream?” I asked hopefully.
“I’m afraid not.” She shook her head. “This is what is happening to your body in the real world.”
I brought my hands up to inspect my forehead cautiously. Sure enough, there was something poking through my head. As I touched it, a strange jolt went through my horn. It startled me and the air crackled a little as it zapped my finger.
“Ouch!” I yelped.
“Yes, horns can be sensitive.” Luna bit her lip.
I shook my finger. It felt like a static discharge you get when you rub your feet across a carpet and touch something metal. I narrowed my eyes as I fought the urge to touch my new appendage.
"Do you have a mirr-" I began, but before I finished my sentence a hand mirror manifested itself in front of me with an audible pop. Looking back at me was a familiar face with an unfamiliar horn. I inspected it as I moved my head around at different angles. It was a dark maroon color. I looked closely at where the horn met my forehead. It looked like a seamless transition from flesh to keratin. I went to poke it again, but I had already learned my lesson.
“Why am I growing a horn?” I asked cautiously. The mirror disappeared with a "pomf".
“That is the other matter we must discuss. While we do not know the mechanism of the alterations, it appears your body has acquired pony DNA.” She gave me a remorseful look. “And the very fact that I am able to visit you in the dream realm is an indication that you are now one of my subjects.”
I stared at her blankly for a moment. Then took another sip of my tea. The tension could be cut with a knife as Luna waited for my response.
“Can you please clarify?” I asked in between sips.
“Charlie…” Luna took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “The horn may not be the only change.” She said with such deliberation that there was no way anyone could think that she was joking.
I looked down into my tea. I was clearly in a dream. Quite a few questions were bubbling up to the surface. Actually, there were literally phrases bubbling out from my tea cup that floated in mid-air at eye level as if they were speech bubbles from a comic strip. I looked at one and pointed to it.
“It appears my questions have arrived. That’s a good one to start with.” I pointed to the question floating to my left.
Luna raised an eyebrow as she watched my questions literally rise out of my tea. She looked at the question I was pointing at and shook her head. It read: "Can I go home?"
“I’m afraid we do not know…” She stopped abruptly as a speech bubble appeared above her head spelling out her words as she spoke them. She looked at me quizzically. I shrugged at her. She narrowed her eyes at her own bubble and scrutinized it with a pout. She poked it with a hoof gingerly and it bobbed like a balloon before bouncing back to its original position. She gave it one last glare before continuing. “As I was saying, we don’t have a way to return you to your home at this time.” As soon as she finished answering the question, the speech bubble and the question popped with a “phwomp”. Luna blinked.
I nodded and pointed to the one to my right. It read: “What if I don’t want a horn?”
“Having reservations is perfectly understandable." Luna eyed the speech bubble. "Twilight has tried casting a reversal spell but it failed. It appears we are unable to interfere with the transformation.”
“Phwomp” Luna just blinked again, but I could see she was desperately trying to hold in her own amusement.
I nodded and pointed to one that was hovering just above the sugar bowl. “Is it permanent?”
“Since your very DNA has been altered, It would be safe to assume that this is a permanent change. I know that this is a lot to take in.”
“Phwomp” Luna didn’t react this time. There was one question left floating silently above the center of the table that read “What happens now?”
“And in regards to your last inquiry…” Luna continued, ignoring the speech bubble. “ We wait until you awake. Upon your return to the waking world, Princess Twilight Sparkle will oversee your recovery and transition into Equestrian culture. My sister and I trust her judgement.” She nodded and took a sip of her tea. “We will continue to work on finding what brought you here and why, as well as work on finding a way for you to return home.” In place of the word ‘home’ in the speech bubble, a picture of a house appeared and rose into the air until it was out of sight.
“Phwomp”
“So that’s it then?” I cocked an eyebrow. The speech bubbles seem to have stopped “I’m stuck here and I have a horn?” I asked flatly. There was something very wrong with the situation, but also something comforting. A thought of home came to mind, and it just didn’t feel like I would really miss it. Perhaps I was taking this all really well, but maybe there was a part of me that just didn’t believe a word she was saying. There was a part of me that wished that this was all true. I was having mixed feelings. It’s not everyday you get transported to a realm of colorful ponies and a horn grows out of your head.
I could see the corner of Luna’s mouth quiver slightly as if to smile, but she held her stoicism.
“It appears you have summed up our conversation quite well in but a few words.” Her brows furrowed momentarily. “Now that I have answered your questions, I have a few questions of my own.” She looked at me with curious eyes.
“You were having a nightmare when I appeared, is that correct?” Luna asked.
“Yeah....” I said while rubbing the back of my neck. I didn’t really want to talk about it. It was bad enough that I was hallucinating ponies, but now my hallucinations were asking about my personal life. Luna must have sensed my reluctance because her face softened.
“I can see that it brings you great pain. Do you miss your family?” She asked with great care.
It was as if the very question was a band-aid that had been ripped off a still bleeding wound. A single tear trailed down my cheek as I met Luna’s heartfelt gaze.
“I miss them so much.” I said as my eyes glazed over. A thousand memories flashed through my eyes. A sense of longing tugged at my heartstrings, but it was as if the feelings were muted.
“Charlie…” Luna said softly “We will do everything we can to bring you back to your family.”
“It’s too late.” I said in defeat as I shook my head.
Luna frowned and looked at me with confusion. She was about to say something when she was cut off by what sounded like a drain plug being pulled. “I believe our time is coming to an end. Please do take care Charlie!” She had to yell as her voice grew softer until she herself swirled away in a dark sparkly blue mist.The colors around me began to run and the world began to melt and swirl as everything went dark.
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Reminds me of
formally
Aww, so you aren't going to make him a grey on grey unicorn whose sole purpose is to be harrased by a blue and a pink pony all the time?
10327158
I want to try liver disaster.
Ooooooooooooooo. I await the next chapter. Well written!
10327613
What?
Yes, not only is the dimensional alignment syncing such that return is impossible, now we need to avoid talking about home because of who's not in it...
Keep going! ;)
just no. twilight is only useful for powering the brainwashing rainbow laser.
she even try to reform discord with mental magic.