Chapter 7-Sandstorm!
The night passed quickly; far too quickly for Rainbow’s liking. It felt as if she’d barely closed her eyes before the sun crept over the horizon, bringing with it the wasteland’s oppressive heat. As the sun met her eyes, she shifted uncomfortably, Mac's foreleg still around her. Something had been prodding her right in the lower back for the last hour, and she just couldn't get comfortable-
Rainbow suddenly realized exactly what was making her so uncomfortable. She bolted out from under the blanket and hastily averted her eyes.
"Jeez Mac!" she snapped, now fully awake and standing over him. "You want to control yourself?!"
He grunted, rubbing the sleep from his bleary eyes. It took a moment for him to realize what she was referring to. If he wasn’t red before, he certainly was now.
"Ah'm sorry Rainbow, it's not somethin' Ah really have any control over," he admitted, embarrassed, before noticing she was in a similar position. "Kinda like how you don't have control over your wings right now."
Rainbow's cheeks flushed as she lowered her ears. Both wings were standing straight out proudly, for the entire world to see. Luckily, the only pony around was Mac. Speaking of which…
Macintosh looked behind her, then to his left and right. This had to be a dream. He was going to wake up and the cattle would be right there across from them where they left them. He shook his head vigorously, waiting to find himself with his foreleg around Rainbow, and the cattle still huddled together.
“Well, now that we’re both embarrassed, how about we get these dumb cows across…the…” Rainbow came to the same horrifying realization Mac had been trying to avoid.
“Rainbow, where are the cattle?” he was unusually calm for being in such a dire situation.
She was as red as the rising sun, not daring to turn and face him as she answered.
“That’s a good question.”
Mac sprang from beneath the sheet, his morning problem long since eradicated. His heart sank as he realized the odds of this being just another nightmare began to shrink with each passing second.
“You lost the cattle?!” Mac snapped, probably for the first time in his life.
“Hey, you were asleep too!” she spat defensively. Mac looked in every direction, finding no trace of the herd.
“Ah went ta sleep ‘cause you told me there weren’t any cattle rustlers gonna steal the herd!”
She opened her mouth to respond, but Macintosh was having none of it. His open minded attitude towards Rainbow quickly evaporated upon the failure of the only task she had this entire trip.
“You had one job! One!” he growled, striding over to her and skidding to a halt inches from her face. “All you had to do was make sure nothing happened to the cattle! I hope you manage weather better than you manage livestock!”
Rainbow’s helpful attitude also cleared out the moment Mac raised his voice. She hated being talked down to; especially by somepony she may have even considered a friend if this hadn’t come between them.
“I didn’t see you volunteering to stay up and watch them! This isn’t just my fault!”
“Yes it is!” he shot back, their argument now so loud it could be heard for miles in the quiet desert. “If you had listened to me, and done it the way Pa had taught me to do it, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”
“The way Pa taught you to do it is stupid! Trains exist so ponies don’t have to do this outdated crap anymore!”
Rainbow sensed that last sentence might have come off a bit harsher than she had intended, but couldn’t back down now, lest she lose face.
Macintosh's face grew red with rage. Dash shrank back slightly, painfully aware she may have gone too far.
“Don’t you ever. Ever. Talk about my Pa. He was an honest, hardworking pony, unlike you! You’re just a cheating, lazy pegasus whose only claim to fame is how fast you can fly, and how you’re the element of loyalty,” he growled in a low, threatening tone.
His angry words seemed to slice right through her normally thick skin. She was used to insults from those who were simply jealous of her abilities, but for some reason, the hurtful stream of words coming from him struck a deep nerve. In the back of her mind, she knew she had screwed up by insisting on sleep, leaving little blame for anypony but herself.
“Celestia knows why you’re that element! Ah saw you cheating when you challenged mah sister to the iron pony competition! You can’t even give an honest chance to a pony whose supposed to be your best friend!” he continued, now more fueled by anger than rational thought.
“How anypony can stand to be around you for more than a few minutes, Ah haven’t the slightest! Ah honestly have no idea what Applejack sees in you. You're loud, rude, and seem ta have a chip on your shoulder that makes ya have ta prove you're better than everypony at everything! As far as Ah’m concerned, if Ah never see you again after this, it’ll be too soon!”
Now it was Mac’s turn to regret the harshness of his words as they left his lips. He had let her have it with both barrels, and it looked like it stung pretty badly. For the first time on this trip, Rainbow had nothing to say. No witty rebuttal, no clever comeback, no nothing. He could see the pain in her eyes as she realized it truly was her fault, and all he had done was rub salt in her wound. Mac's angry glare broke as she turned her head away from him, her bottom lip beginning to quiver.
Dash spread her wings and took off in whatever direction would carry her farthest away from him. As she climbed, she heard him call out to her, but she didn't care what he had to say. He had said quite enough in her opinion, silent tears beginning to wrap around her face as the hot desert wind pushed them from her eyes. She didn't know where she was going and she didn't care, so long as she didn't have to listen to him anymore.
Mac sighed, taking a rest on his flanks. At least the rustlers had the decency to leave them their gear. Macintosh knew he may have said more than he meant to, and now he had gone and made a filly cry. Something he had never done before, and hoped he would never do again. He felt ashamed of himself as he examined the bandage Dash had wrapped for him yesterday. While most of what he said was true in his eyes, that didn't mean she deserved the berating he gave her, though for being one of the tougher and fearless ponies in Ponyville, she sure seemed to take it to heart. Now, not only was he without cattle to sell, but also without the pony with which he'd begun the journey.
"Pa'd whip my hide if he were here ta see that..." he admonished himself, remembering what his father had taught him about how to treat mares, regardless of what you thought of them personally. It wasn't entirely Rainbow's fault, he should have insisted he stay up on watch if she wanted to go to sleep. That would have been the gentlecolts thing to do. Instead he chose to go to bed as well, leaving the cattle resigned to whatever fate befell them. Mac glanced over to where the herd had been. Not even any hoof-prints to follow. If the cattle had been rustled, then whomever pulled it off must've been professionals.
The sun began to beat down on his coat, prompting him to put his kandura back on and begin walking in the direction she flew. He knew Rainbow wouldn't last long in this heat without water, and he'd be damned if he was going to have her blood on his hooves for making her storm off like that. Something besides saving his own skin from the charge of negligent pony-slaughter pushed him to find her, something he couldn't quite place, but resided deep in his heart all the same. Even though she had torpedoed the entire trip by losing the cattle, he, for some reason, hated to see her so upset.
He didn't have time to ponder why as he continued at a steady pace, hoping to see a multi-colored mane stick out from the dull hues of the desert. As he walked, he noticed a breeze blow in from behind him, increasing in speed as time went by. He glanced over his shoulder and froze, blanching in fear. A wall of dust and sand, nearly a thousand feet high, loomed in the distance, bearing down on him at a terrifying speed.
He broke into a gallop, realizing that Rainbow was as good as dead if she stopped to rest somewhere and this storm caught her. The angry winds would bury her in sand in a matter of minutes.
Dear Celestia Ah'm sorry Ah yelled at Rainbow! Please just let me find her before this storm hits! he found himself attempting to bargain with the deity as he scanned the horizon for any sign of her. Something inside him cared about his fiery tempered traveling companion; whether he cared to admit it or not, she had actually grown on him. Well, until she lost the cattle. Still, this one mistake didn't mean she deserved to die of thirst in the middle of the wasteland.
He glanced behind him to check the storms progress. It was closing fast. In a matter of minutes, it would envelope him, and he'd have no choice but to wait it out and pray Rainbow hadn't been buried alive. His hooves hammered into the ground, which was beginning to change from packed earth to loose sand. Less than a mile ahead, he saw a cyan speck atop a rather large dune in the distance. Behind her, were about five palm trees, though what they were doing out in the sands, or how they could even survive without water he hadn't the slightest idea.
Unfortunately, Mac felt the sting of being blasted by the tiny particles of windblown sand, meaning the storm was nearly upon him. He called to her as loud as he could, hoping she wouldn't take off again at the sight of him. Without any mouth or nose protection, she'd most likely suffocate before being buried by the winds. For the first time in his life, he wished he had wings, his strong legs simply unable to move him fast enough to reach her. Still he pressed on, knowing if he could just get to her and shield her from the dust they'd both be alive so they could argue over who lost the cattle later.
She must not have heard him, but she apparently saw the massive sandstorm coming and quickly jumped into the crown of one of the palm trees.
Macintosh affixed his head cover across his nose and mouth, wetting it with water so his sinuses wouldn't dry out. At full sprint, he just made it to the base of the palm Rainbow had perched atop as the visibility began to drop. Apparently, Rainbow had discovered a small oasis on her own, the spring water supporting the tiny grove of palms.
"What do you want?" Dash snapped from her lofty seat.
"You have ta come down from there before the storm hits!" he pled, the sand particles now stinging his eyes as they threatened to close. "Ya have ta cover your face or you'll suffocate!"
"I could just fly out of the storm!" she snapped, her eyes now well shut against the blinding sand, "I don't need you!"
"The winds are too strong, it'd be like flyin' into a hurricane! And you don't know what kind of poisonous critters live in that tree!" he argued, "Please come down from there until the storm clears!"
Rainbow considered her options. Though she was still hurt from what Mac had said about her, he was the more experienced pony. As she pondered her answer, Mac made her choice for her. With a swift turn, he bucked the palm tree as hard as he could, nearly breaking it in two. He heard a yelp just before his hooves made contact as Rainbow, as well as a long green snake fell from the tree.
Mac recognized the species of serpent, nearly draining the color from his face. A Boomslang!
He swiftly stomped its head before another snakebite had the chance to afflict them. Rainbow landed with a soft thud, landing on her flanks as Mac ripped part of his kandura and dunked it into the water before covering Rainbow's face with it as he held her close to him. Against the palm trees, they'd be able to wait out the storm and head back to the larger oasis once it had passed.
He hunkered down on top of the pegasus, shielding her smaller body with his own. As the savage winds whipped around them, the two ponies were relatively safe, if not lacking in personal space. Mac's mouth was near Dash's left ear, while Mac's ear was opposite Rainbows lips.
"Rainbow...listen, Ah'm sorry for what Ah said to ya earlier. Ah was just upset that...Rainbow?"
Dash had heard his voice, though it was as if he were talking with his mouth full. His words seemed distant and mumbled for some reason, though she assumed it was due to the cloth over his face, and the rushing winds around them. She didn't respond, only shutting her eyes tightly against the stray grains of sand that occasionally made their way past Mac's clothing. After a few minutes, the sandstorm had moved past them, the harsh winds and zero visibility giving way to the overbearing desert sun.
Mac climbed off of her, shaking off the sand covering his clothes and pulling his hooves from the sand that had gathered around them. Dash stood up and did the same, all the while feeling a sharp pain in her left foreleg. She brought it to her face, noticing what looked like a small scratch with a small trickle of blood leading from it. Assuming she'd caught a sharp branch on her way down, she looked towards Mac, removing the wet rag he had put over her mouth and nose.
"Sorry bout buckin ya out of th' tree," he apologized, checking the saddle bags to make sure no sand had gotten into their rations.
"Yeah, it's fine," she mumbled, still somewhat upset at him for what he had said during their argument. "Now what?"
Mac sighed, realizing he would have to face his sister with no money and no cattle. At least he had brought her friend back in one piece; though it was small consolation considering the herd would have easily fetched a few thousand bits at market.
"Ah guess we head back ta Ponyville. No reason ta continue on ta Prairieville without cattle."
His answer surprised her. "You're just gonna give up? Just like that?"
Mac stared at her with a curious expression, "Without cattle, we got nothin' ta sell."
"So why don't we find out who stole them, and get them back!" she suggested, wanting more than ever now to prove she wasn't the complete screw up she believed he viewed her as.
"Ah checked the area 'round the camp," he began, shifting uncomfortably on his hooves, "There weren't any tracks ta follow, and even if there had been, the storm would'a covered them by now."
Mac noticed the scratch on her foreleg, his coat color nearly turning completely white. "You didn't get bit by that snake that fell outta that tree you were in, did ya?"
Rainbow re-examined the scratch. It didn't look like the bite he had gotten, and it didn't seem to be bleeding nearly as much as his had.
"No, I probably caught a branch on the way down," she assured him.
Mac breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing they needed was another snake bite. Especially from something he didn't carry the anti-venom for. The cattle drive never took him this far east, and it especially never took him in the crown of a desert palm, where the Boomslang lived.
As they began their trek back to the oasis, Mac contemplated repeating what he had said during the sandstorm. After an hours walk, they had arrived.
"Rainbow, Ah'm sorry for what Ah said to ya earlier. It's just... there's a lot more on the line than new windas, and... Rainbow?" he looked back to see her panting, sitting on her flanks with a dazed look on her face.
Dash heard a muffled noise, as though someone was speaking to her. The glare of the sun nearly made it impossible for her to tell what was making the noise, as everything around her began to spin. A ringing in her ears grew in volume until she could hear nothing, save for the throbbing of her head.
Mac darted towards her just as she flopped over onto her side.
"Rainbow!" he shouted, trying to stir her awake. Taking a canteen, he lifted her upright with one hoof and dumped water over her face with the other, trying to rouse her. It had little effect; if anything, Dash seemed to slip further into unconsciousness. Figuring she was merely dehydrated, he put water to her lips, smiling in relief when she began to weakly drink a few sips. After a few modest gulps, she stopped drinking, and passed out completely. Red flags raised in Macintosh's mind as he re-examined the 'scratch' she had gotten in the palm tree. It hadn't stopped bleeding, confirming his worst fears.
What are th' odds?! Ah've never had any snake problems on a cattle drive, and on this one, we both get bit?
He was now certain some sort of higher power was out to kill the two of them. Another grave realization leapt to the forefront of Mac's mind. Ponyville would be the quickest town to get to, but the hospital more than likely didn't have the proper anti-venom for this type of snake, as there was no desert in or around the little town. Prairieville would have some, but he'd have to run nonstop to make it in time to save her life, and even then, he may be too late.
She saved me from a snake; looks like it’s time for me ta return the favor.
He lifted her up, and gently placed her on his back, the way he used to carry Applejack when she was little, her forelegs dangling limply around his neck as he stood up. A sharp pain shot through his hind leg, reminding him of what she had done. He would have loved another one of her magic leg rubs, but used the pain as motivation to make sure she survived this trip. He broke into a gallop and set off toward Prairieville at a blistering pace. He tried to ration his water as best as he could, but ended up giving most to Dash to keep her from dehydrating.
He gritted his teeth and forced himself onward, trying to ignore the terrifying limpness of the load on his back. Just…a bit…further…
Rainbow felt like she had been bucked hard in the face. Her head seemed to weigh a thousand pounds as she bounced, though she wasn’t sure what was moving her, or why she felt this way in the first place. One thing she knew for certain was that she was hot, extremely hot, in fact. She didn’t dare open her eyes, lest she get another dose of blinding white light.
She remembered Mac saying something about how the cattle were worth more than just the debt she had to repay, but couldn’t exactly recall what. In fact, she had no idea where she was, or where she was going, only that with every jostle, she grew more tired. Perhaps if she just slept for a little while, she would wake up in Ponyville, this whole trip finally over.
There was something soft beneath her. That was the first thing she noticed. Rainbow stirred, shifting the blankets covering her, and squinted against a set of white lights. A moment later, the smell of antiseptic greeted her nose as a hospital room swam into focus around her. She lifted her head from the stiff hospital pillow, opening her mouth to call for Macintosh. Where was he? How had she gotten here?
A nurse she hadn’t noticed quickly bustled over, gently pushing her back down. “Easy there, Miss Dash,” she spoke reassuringly. “You’ve been through quite a lot.”
Rainbow looked her over. She was an older mare, probably a grandmother to somepony, if her greying bun was any indication.
"Where's Big?" she slurred anxiously, still a bit dehydrated.
"Who?"
"Macintosh! A big red stallion with a goofy accent!"
"Oh!" the nurse said, realizing whom she was referring to, "Not to worry, he's right over there."
She drew back the privacy curtain, revealing a dirty, tired, and ragged looking Big Macintosh, asleep in one of the many uncomfortable hospital chairs with their gear piled lazily next to him.
With a relieved sigh, she allowed herself to lie back onto the bed.
"What happened?"
"You were bitten by a Boomslang. Highly venomous, but it seems you received what we like to call a 'million-bit-bite'."
Dash stared at the nurse quizzically as she looked over her charts.
"It was just a warning bite, very little venom actually made its way into your system. Enough to cause mild symptoms at best, though they were probably exacerbated due to your dehydration." she explained, motioning to the IV in her left foreleg.
"You're quite lucky to have such a devoted Coltfriend, you know."
Dash scoffed at her assumption, but before she could refute her assertion, the nurse continued.
"He galloped fifty two miles across the wasteland to get you here, and refused to let us treat him until you had been stabilized. In fact, he still hasn't let us touch him! He demanded to wait by your bedside until you woke up."
The nurse cast a loving gaze toward the still sleeping stallion, his now discolored kandura still draped over his massive frame.
"He... carried me the whole way?"
"That's right, he's quite the gentlecolt that one. I'd hold onto him if I were you," she added, smiling as she began towards the door.
"He's not my..." by the time she looked back to the nurse, she was gone, leaving the two of them alone.
She turned her attention back to Mac. The window behind him was dark, the street lamps of what she assumed was Prairieville casting a bit of extra light through the partially drawn curtains. Even in this most ragged of states, she couldn't help but smile at him. His shaggy, straw-coloured mane hung over his eyes, his chest rising and falling gently. A light snore escaped his mouth as he slept. He was, dare she even think it... cute. He risked his life to save her, even though she was apparently not in as mortal a danger as he'd suspected.
She began to wonder that perhaps there was something inside him that cared about her, even though she had been nothing but a jerk for most of the trip. She didn't think him the type to leave a pony dying in the desert, but still. Would he have waited by just anypony's bedside until they woke up, refusing treatment until he made sure they were okay?
Dash leaned back against her many pillows and continued to stare admirably at him, a face she would never be able to live down if any of her friends saw it.
"Mac! Maaaaac!" she called, deciding he had had enough sleep. Realizing he slept like a rock, she grabbed one of her many pillows and hurled it at him.
"Mah hat!" he awoke with a start, a bewildered look across his face before he remembered where he was. He hopped from the chair and strode towards her bedside.
"Rainbow! Thank Celestia you're alive!" he said, both hugging each other tightly. After the embrace, the awkwardness of their affection began to set in, both beginning to blush quite severely.
"Mac... I'm sorry I lost the cattle, and I'm sorry I said the way your dad taught you to do stuff was stupid," she apologized, realizing that even after all she had said and done, he still cared enough about her to carry her across the desert on his back.
Mac smiled back at her gently, realizing what a huge moment this was for her. Up until now, he was almost certain the phrase 'I'm sorry' wasn't in her vocabulary.
"It's okay, Ah know ya didn't mean it. Ah took it personally, and said some things Ah didn't mean either," he added softly, "You may be a jerk, but as far as jerks go, you ain't so bad."
"Hey! I was apologizing and you—" he cut her off with a wink, Rainbow belatedly realizing what he said was supposed to be a joke.
She grinned, lying back on the rather stiff remaining pillows.
"You're gonna have to work on those jokes, Big."
"Ah thought it was pretty funny," he answered, returning her smile.
The good feelings soon evaporated, as they both realized their predicament.
"What do we do now?" Dash asked.
"Well, the auction is tomorrow afternoon, not that it makes a difference ta us," he said sitting back in the chair he had been sleeping in. "Without cattle ta sell, all we got is enough for a train ticket back home."
Rainbow's ears lowered in shame. Surely there had to be something they could do!
"I guess I lose the bet huh?"
Mac laughed in agreement, "Yeah, Ah think that's fair ta say," he shifted uneasily in his chair, "Ah reckon if one lost cow was three seasons worth of work, a hundred lost cattle'll have you workin' for us for the next three hundred years."
"What?! I'll pay you back for the windows, but I'm not—" she caught him smiling at her again. She really wasn't used to him having a sense of humor. She especially didn't expect it after how upset he'd gotten earlier that day.
"You're getting better at those."
Silence entered the room as they both pondered if there was any possible way to return to Ponyville with at least a little more money than they'd left.
"Hey! I got it!" Dash exclaimed happily, "The cattle got stolen right?"
"Eeyup,"
"And cattle thieves took the cattle because they're worth money, right?"
"Eeyup, that's how thieves work, generally," Mac added sarcastically.
"The only place you could get money for cattle around here is the auction!"
Mac looked at her, a slight confused.
"Ah don't follow."
"Do I have to spell it out for you? The cattle are probably somewhere in town! All we have to do is find out where they are!"
Mac couldn't help but grin at the idea. "Rainbow, Ah never thought I'd say this, but you're a genius!"
"I think that's enough jokes from you for one day," she glared at him before breaking into a gentle smile.
"Now let those doctors treat you so we can be ready to go cattle hunting tomorrow. We'll only have till the afternoon to find them."
Mac nodded, turning toward the door when Rainbow called to him. "Oh and Big,"
"Yeah?"
"You could really use a bath."
He grinned. It looked she was no stranger to joke telling either.
"So could you," he smiled back.
What is it about me only liking MacDash shipfics while intoxicated?
Hey, I'm going to be obnoxious. Wonder how? Here's how!
First. Well, first on the new chapter.
What? I'm the editor, so I might as well first something every now and then.
An excellent chapter, and i lol'd at morning awkwardness
SUPERB! MOAR!!!!
247083 Missed it by that much!
I enjoy this. MOARRRRR!!!!!
I thought it was weird that they started arguing instead of looking for the cattle. I mean really, a hundred cows shouldn't be to hard to spot for a Pegasus in a place with little to no features.
247193 And yet, the cattle were nowhere to be found! Hmm...
247103 Fck.
Liked this chapter a fair bit. Though I did roll my eyes over the bit about 100 cattle not leaving a trail. I am looking forward to the next chapter
Ambrosia: And ya Ma as well Macintosh Apple Malus, Ah oughta tan ya hide for that stunt. But ya did well get Miss Dash to the hospital.
Ambrosia you do realize that this fic doesn't use you as his mother? Sorry Max but my OCs have a mind of their own. Good chapter, hope the two idiots can work out their issues, thought it looks like you are on your way to that. I almost feel sorry for the rustlers once Rainbow and Mac get their hooves on them. Keep it up
In the Name of Her Serene Majesty,
Celestia's Paladin: For Honor and Duty, For the Sun and Moon
Another grand chapter. MacinDash's argument and resolution of conflict irked me a tad. I've read too man ships with "argument erupts and outside force causes apology and declaration of love". You handled the scenario better than others; you didn't have Dash or Mac interpret their alien feelings immediately as love and have a sappy romantic scene. Thank you so much for sparing me that cliche. A ship fic with a hospital scene will 9 times out of 10 have said hospital become a confessional booth.
As for the readers confused about the cattle: it was a rag-tag team of pegasus and unicorn wranglers. The pegasi fly the unicorns over, who steal the cows via levitation, thus no trail left behind. A plan so ridiculous it couldn't fail
Plus more snakes! From Africa to boot! My inner herpetologist is way too excited about this
Excited to see what comes next, but a little sad cause it feels like this fic has 3, maybe 4 chapters left
Usually not a fan of Mac/Dash. But this is a well enough written with a decent enough plot to turn me into someone who might actually enjoy this shipping pair. Great chapter
LOL! nice one dash... u screwed up again.... :P
So the thieves have stolen cattle from a stallion that can pull houses off of their foundations and a pegasus who can break the sound barrier. They are totally fcked.
It'd be nice if there were more sexual tension between these two. But I think we've spent all the necessary quotas to establishing a relationship in this fic. Oh well.
I can't wait for the next update. Like seriously.
Awkward wakeup - Check
Missing cattle - Double check
Everything I was hoping for out of this chapter and then some, and I appreciate that Mac and Dash made up by the end. Also, Mac would have been in soooooooo much trouble with AJ if he had to go home with no money and no Dash because he lost everything in the desert.
I have to say, this fic is a breath of fresh air in many respects. First and foremost Dash is shipped with a male. Sock and Awe! Or is it just me that hasn't had any luck in finding fics where Dash is straight? Plus, don't ask me why but I've always thought that Big Mac went well with Rainbow Dash... mostly because I think he'd find ways to curb her rampant ego without coming across as a jerk.
Granted, he WAS a bit of a jerk in this chapter but in his defense, it had to be said :P
Correct me if I'm wrong (I could be as Rainbow is prone to being a braggart, so I don't really know how much of what she says or infers in the show is actually true) but I was under the impression that she was something of a savant when it came to weather (or it could be fanon albeit the cool kind of fanon) so I wonder: why didn't she try to curb the sandstorm or at least steer it away from them?
Your fic has also made me wonder about one other thing... waaaaay back in episode 1 when AJ introduced Twilight to her family I didn't see anything but earth ponies in there. Do you think that the rest of the Apple family would have something to say about having a pegasus in there? or what about any foal of theirs that ends up not being an earth pony? I'd imagine with a farm as successful and big as Sweet Apple Acres there's a lot of expectations riding on each generation to stick to the business and make it grow and I don't think a pegasus or unicorn would be as good at farming as earth ponies.
I know that I'm generalizing something fierce and that there's bound to be individual exceptions in everything; but I was just wondering this because with how well you've been working on this, I'd be really interested in knowing whether or not you plan to expand this beyond the trip back to Ponyville. You know, explore everybody's reaction to the results of said trip (particularly because Applejack was ultimately successful in her matchmaking and is sure to be hilarious in her gloating :P ) and well, build on the relationship beyond the hardship on the trip that pushed them together.
Congratulations on a great fic!
well this are my reaction in this chapter:
and with that i resume how my face was in this lol
loved this chapter indeed cant wait for your next update
Aha, hounding the updates pays off! I know I've said it before, but I've got to bring up how much I enjoy the pacing of this one. Seven chapters in, and it's still at a relatively subtle level, awkward mornings aside. Admittedly, I thought the resolution to the argument over the cattle was a bit...quick. Not so much that it felt rushed, strictly speaking, but it just seemed to be over and out in very little time. Of course, I suppose the circumstances demand quick action. Looking forward to more!
another good chapter keep it up
morning awkwardness is awkward...
Y'know, the best possible way for this to resolve would be for the cattle to have rustled *themselves*, in an attempt to avoid paying Mac the droving fee.
So much d'awww. When Mac began to miss and feel bad for what he had said to Rainbow all I could think about is the musical: My Fair Lady and the song: I've grown accustomed to her face. Here are some of he lyrics. It goes from repent to spiteful and back to resent and sorrow.
Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!
I've grown accustomed to her face.
She almost makes the day begin.
I've grown accustomed to the tune that
She whistles night and noon.
Her smiles, her frowns,
Her ups, her downs
Are second nature to me now;
Like breathing out and breathing in.
I was serenely independent and content before we met;
Surely I could always be that way again-
And yet
I've grown accustomed to her look;
Accustomed to her voice;
Accustomed to her face.................
Another musical this makes me think of is Hello Dolly in terms of a guy that's a tad stuck up and set in his ways and a fun loving girl that changes him. Anyway keep up the great work and I look forward to Dash and Mac kicking someone's ass in the next chapter and a severe case of opposites attract.
I loved the morning awkwardness. I like this fic so much that every time theres an update i always get really excited and cant wait to read it. Love it.
D'AWWWWWWWWW
This chapter pleases me.
247446 Yes, the romance won't start just yet, but rest assured I've been stringing it along this way for a reason. I can't say for certain how many chapters are left, but I will say you're probably in the right ballpark.
247483 Yes, these mysterious cattle thieves are in for quite the surprise, should these two come knocking.
247569 The whole reason I wrote this fic is because a straight Dash fic is a rarity, it seems. Also, I don't like to create OC's just so they can be shipped with one of the mane 6, so Mac was a perfect fit for her. Opposites attract and what not.
As for the sandstorm, those are generally just wind and dust. No real clouds to buck or clear, so I didn't know how she would have been able to influence it.
I'm not sure if I'm going to take this fic back into Ponyville, but I hope the ending will cover your thoughts nicely.
247685 I tried to portray Mac as easygoing as he seems in the show. Sure, he would be upset over the lost cattle, but there's more to it than just the broken window payments, as he mentioned. But that will be covered in later chaps. For now, know that if Rainbow hadn't devised her plan at the last minute at the end of the chapter, he'd probably still be in somewhat of a sour mood.
Glad you're all enjoying the ride so far!
Very nicely done... I liked the tension, I liked the blow-up (because I think with dash things tend to blow up emotionally very easily,) but I also liked that you didn't drag it out; you gave them both enough common sense to get on the same page and fix the problems, rather than take it all to heart. Mac's a very practical pony by nature, and Dash can be too, when she's not ego-tripping. And the solution to their problem was pretty apparent anyway- there can't be that many places that you can sell cattle in Equestria, esp in a desert.
The fluffy bonding at the end was very nice too. I'm a sucker for that stuff... hope there's more of it next chapter!
this is great and awesome and awesome and great and oh god what is this toast doing in my salad aahh~~~
Oh, I'm excited! I wonder who will the rustlers! And when are these two gonna kiss?
now how did i know there was going to be an erection joke
oh well, keep writing my good man
248600 After the trousersnake thing in chapter 4, was it really a surprise? If there is one thing I'm good for, it's a cheap dick joke.
No cattle tracks, outrunning a sandstorm, surviving lethal snakebite, auctioning off cows in the same town the traders you stole them from were headed into
seems legit
248764 You questioning the realism of my story about talking ponies brah?
Heh, just kidding. Also, they didn't outrun the sandstorm, they got caught in it. Also, snakebites aren't always lethal.
mob666.photobucket.com/albums/vv24/hypnoticboogie/the_more_you_know.jpg?t=1273567426
New chapter needed! I need my fic!
Too good! It's like the story is taken directly from an old western. And their relationship just has to build through their problems doesn't it? Thank god you don't cliff-hang these.
Seven nice chapters and they haven't said the magic words "I love you" yet. I have to say that I admire you for your restraint. There's such a nice slow build.
In my own longest shipfic, I was only able to last for five chapters before taking things that far already. I guess that makes you the better writer. Oh, well, keep it coming!
I am not a man of many words.......
..............
247446
I'm sorry, but when you describe it like that I can't help but imagine flying saucers beaming the cattle away.
251895 Those damn aliens stealing Mac's cattle!
1) Mac's dad WAS a fool. Only a damned idiot would take 100 cattle across a desert with only two herders. What was he gonna do if rustlers HAD showed up, use harsh language? What if he or Mac had gotten sick, or badly injured? It's only blind luck that he hadn't lost the herd a dozen times over--- or worse, his son.
2) "Tradition is a guide for the wise, and a rule for fools." Mac was DOUBLY a fool for sticking to doing things his dad's way once a train line came in. Yes, it saved the cost of the shipping fee... but what you saved in shipping you lost in net. Cattle are sold by WEIGHT; a few day's trot across the desert would make the cattle lose tons of weight, literally if the number of cattle was high enough. Lose a few cattle to accidents or sickness or just simply wandering off, and you've thrown away anything you might have saved.
3) Come to think of it--- Ponies don't eat meat. The only use for cows on the farm is milk and fertilizer. Hence, these have to be DAIRY cattle, not BEEF cattle. So why are they running them like a hamburger herd?
4) For that matter, the cows in Equestria TALK. Why would they need to be herded? What possible good would it do to steal them, when they could turn around and TELL folks "oh hey, these guys are rustlers, don'tchaknow?"
5)the author has them behaving completely unlike any of the cows seen on the show. Honestly, last episode had one walking into Sugarcube Corner to buy a batch of oatmeal cookies. Can you really imagine Applejack's dowdy housewife cows peeing in the river?
6) SELLING them? They're intelligent beings, and call it a hunch that slavery isn't canon here, so they and the other ungulates live on the pony farms voluntarily. (The ponies would be BONED if the cows took it in their heads to rebel. 2 or 3 farmponies vs 100+ disgruntled cows? Nasty.)
This story may be competently written but the premise bludgeons the show's canon all the hell out of shape. And it loses a lot more points for being an improbable scenario in the first place, contrived to get Mac and Dash alone and under a horse blanket together.
252337 lol, firstly, the whole shipping genre is not cannon, so I must ask, if you're after strictly cannon, why in gods name are you even reading this? Secondly, it's just a story, a story about talking horses and Pegasi. The thing with the cattle is what lost you? Not the flying horses, magic or any of the other stuff? I appreciate you thought it was competently written, but it is as you implied, a premise to get Mac and dash together. If you don't like my premise, I can respect that, but I must wonder what drew you to it in the first place?
Also, mfw you're like the fourth person to bring this up archive.no-ip.org/images/sp/thumb/0103/47/1297187259373s.jpg
251904
sadpanda.us/images/853326-TZFB2NC.jpg
253712 How delightfully relevant! Props to you.
this is great, and I have having a blast reading this it!, and to any one telling you you have Dash and Mac OOC, I say, to the moon with them, you have them spot on!
255200 Thanks! I don't think anyone's complained about Dash or Mac being OOC. Reality Check complained that the cows weren't acting like they would in the show, but I'm not gonna lose sleep just because one person can't suspend their belief and enjoy the story.
[img]images-1[/img]Love it new chapter? pwetty pwease
Suspension of disbelief being important in generally enjoying cartoons at all, much more so cartoon fanfiction, I did have to take a crack at explaining cattle driving/selling as Macintosh in an RP, so if only for a 'what could be' explanation, here's what I came up with:
Cows in Equestria can act like working tenants. Through an arrangement with a given farm, they exchange dairy services for food and shelter. So the farmers act as a sort of combination of landlord and employer. A cattle drive would be necessary if, for instance, the cows or the farmers find a better deal elsewhere and resolve to sell the cows' contracts. Or auction them off, as it were. Sure, the cows could cross the desert on their own, but the farmer would want to protect his/her assets, so guiding them along the way en masse would be more prudent.
Still lampshades a few things, but there's my take.
Great chapter mate. Reminds me of the TV show "Rawhide".
256873 those were the themes I hit on when someone else brought up the cattle thing. I've included a brief explanation in the next chapter. I figured I might as well address it, as those who pointed it out have a valid point. Though its kinda just something I thought up, and I'm sure it won't make everyone happy, but then again I'm not trying to. I do hate glaring plot holes, but if the reviewers at ponychan could suspend their cattle slavery arguments, apparently 600+ trackers can too! I'm just proud to have written something so many bronies enjoy reading!
255386 LOL! I suspended belief the day I became a brony. I don't think I commented here (but i think I did on FF.net). Anyway. Great job. One of the best MacinDash fics I have ever read. Definite 6-star material (it breaks the rating, weird!).
266070 I'm glad you're liking it so far! The night sky thing, I always pictured Rainbow as living in the city before she came to Ponyville, and there is some light pollution everywhere unless you're out in the middle of the outback or on the ocean. The total darkness of an unpolluted night sky is pretty majestic if you've never seen it. Just a bit of headcanon though.
AJ setting up her brother was something I had in mind before the hearts and hooves day episode, where it turns out AJ is more likely to insist her little sister not meddle in Mac's life than she would be to do it herself. It's not really a major plot point, just something I mentioned in passing for a bit of humor at the fact that her friends know she does this, but don't call her out.
Good to know you like the pacing! The exact thing you describe is half the reason I wrote this pairing in the first place. It's unusual, and to start them off both liking each other or something similar would be a cliche imo.
I would love to see them characterize Mac more. I hoped for a glimpse into his personality with the Hearts and Hooves day episode, but it was quite the disappointment in that respect. That and the guy who plays his voice reminds me of Bill from king of the hill.
Anywway, looking forward to the rest of your thoughts on what I have so far!