5. Guys and Dolls
Chapter 5-Guys and Dolls
Rainbow tipped the hat back, eyes scanning across the vast, open plains nervously. She had a fire, and was surrounded by thousand pound beasts, as well as one unconscious one.
Okay Rainbow... it's just a wolf... they don't eat ponies.
Truth be told, they weren't known for eating ponies. That didn't mean they were above it if they had been looking for a meal for a while. Dash cast a quick glance back to Mac. His breathing seemed steady, and his color was beginning to return, though he still looked sick. It would more than likely be morning before she knew whether or not she had acted in time with the anti-venom. The howl seemed pretty distant, Dash allowed herself a moment to relax. Reflecting on the trouble the two of them had run into so far, it was a wonder they were both still alive.
Rainbow looked back toward the saddlebags beside the fire, her thoughts drifting to what she had almost seen inside the day before. Seeing nothing better to do, and with no chance of Mac rousing from his coma anytime soon, she decided to give in to her burning curiosity. Trotting softly over to the bag, she flipped each one open until she located the familiar pack. Locating the object, she gently pulled the rest of it free from the bag and set it in front of her. It took a few seconds to register what the item actually was before Rainbow fell over laughing.
"Why... would he... bring this?" she said between laughs, wiping a tear from her eye.
"What is he, five?" she said looking over the doll as it lay limply on the ground, bathed in the firelight. It appeared to have blue and white polka dotted overalls and one of its button eyes seemed to just barely be hanging on to its face. Something was vaguely familiar about this doll, though Dash couldn't quite put a hoof on it.
And here I thought this guy was some kind of muscle head. Dash thought, nudging the doll with a hoof. No matter the reason, this thing was sure to yield an interesting explanation.
She took the doll in a foreleg and held it up to the light. It certainly looked like it had seen better days, but she supposed the wear and tear was what made the item sentimental. Setting the doll back in the bag where she found it, Dash began pondering what lay beneath the quiet, rugged and red exterior of the currently unconscious stallion. Perhaps Rainbow jumped to the conclusion that Macintosh was all work and no play before getting to know him. Thankfully for her, Twilight wasn't there to lecture her about not judging a book by it's cover or some other book related metaphor. Still, the thought of the big sweaty stallion beside her snuggled up next to that tiny stuffed doll did make her giggle.
Oh, if only I had a camera!
Even though Mac was in the grips of the fight of his life, Rainbow still couldn't help but think how funny it would be to have that kind of dirt on the toughest stallion in Ponyville. However, he had given her his breakfast that morning...which was also indirectly responsible for his current comatose state. Although he wouldn't have ended up this way if she had just kept her footing in the river. Dash found herself in quite the moral predicament. So far by her count, they had each saved each other's life once, assuming Mac didn't fall over dead by tomorrow morning.
Even though nopony enjoyed a good prank more than Rainbow, she knew where the line lay between embarrassing prank and mean spirited character assassination. She decided to keep the doll a secret, at least for now. Macintosh shifted slightly, drawing her gaze from the fire. She could still see the beads of sweat glistening off his face as he stirred. His color appeared to be steadily returning, though the light of the fire made it hard to tell how much.
Rainbow settled herself against the saddlebags as a makeshift bed; it looked like her turn to look after somepony that had been incapacitated. She took AJ's hat off and rested it on her hind knee, examining it. It looked old, and like the doll, seemed to have seen better days. Still, that's probably what made it so special to her earth pony pal. Her thoughts drifted back to Applejack, and how she imagined she was handling helping Applebloom with math.
The idea of AJ trying to figure out filly level math brought a smile to her lips as Dash still gazed absently at the brown hat before her. She glanced back toward Macintosh, the slowly dying fire still casting its shadows across his stern complexion.
Looking back on the days events, Rainbow had a lot to be proud of. She had given Mac not one, but two injections involving actual needles, something she wouldn't even let trained medical professionals do to her, yet he trusted her to give to him. Perhaps forced is a better word than trusted, but still, she'd done it.
Unfortunately, it was that same pride that caused her to act like such a jerk for the past two days. Mac had saved her from drowning out in the rapids earlier today and she didn't even mutter so much as a thank you. It was that stubborn pride of hers that insisted she would have figured out a way to get out of the river if given enough time. Though had she listened to it, she would most likely be dead downriver somewhere.
Macintosh wasn't a bad pony; he certainly didn't deserve her company with the way she'd been acting towards him. If there was one thing Rainbow hated more than losing, it was guilt. Maybe she could stand to try and relax, and just take things as they come until they reach Prairieville. Maybe the rest of the trip would go smoothly and the two of them can take the train back to Ponyville in silence, then never have to speak of this again. She could only hope.
Acting on a bored impulse, Rainbow tossed Mac's hat toward him trying to land it on his head. She missed, ringing it on one of the posts of his yoke, but figured she had gotten close enough. Dash scanned the heavens, praying for a low level cloud to sleep on. From the ground she could spot only cirrus clouds high in the atmosphere, out of reach even for her. Not that it mattered, really. Those clouds were made mostly of ice, and therefore not good for sleeping.
A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she accepted the ground as her bed once again. Something just didn't feel natural about pegasi sleeping on the ground.
Dash settled herself against the saddlebags as best she could and bunked down for the night, the still glowing embers of the fire serving as a fine nightlight. Her eyelids growing heavy, her last thought before drifting into the night was a silent prayer that Macintosh wouldn't meet his end because she had been too slow with the needle.
Big Macintosh loved days like today. The clouds were overcast, shielding the fields from the heat of the sun, while providing what others would call a gloomy backdrop to a days labor. Mac however, loved the cool, still air overcast conditions brought. Though in his opinion, the weather pegasi could afford a few more days like today. Frequency of overcast days aside, he had work to do. This was the last field of the day, and his muscles were aching for rest, especially his right hind leg for some reason. He had just finished the last row as he untied himself from the plow and surveyed his work. All lines straight, no curves or skips, perfect.
The fields he plowed were different from his old Sweet Apple Acre home, in fact a much smaller farmhouse sat on a hill a ways out form where he stood. This was his farm, the one he and his wife owned and worked together, planning one day to pass it along to their foals. It was the life he wanted, the one he imagined when he closed his eyes. The thought alone seemed to fill him with a simple contentment he had seldom known. In the distance he saw two foals galloping towards him from the house. Both were orange, Mac recognized the color as being the same as Applebloom's little friend Scootaloo, though their manes seemed to be two toned, half his color, and half another color he couldn't quite place.
Regardless, he embraced his two foals, a filly and colt as they politely informed him that momma had supper waiting for them at the house. He smiled and mussed the youngster's manes, and allowed them a ride on his back as they headed towards the house. A cooling breeze tried to wipe the sweat from Mac's brow, though it persisted for some unknown reason.
Once he arrived at his house, the children jumped off his back and bolted inside, greeting their mother with a flurry of questions as he heard a somewhat familiar voice answer them from within. Macintosh moved past the front door and into the living room, pictures of his relatives adorning the walls as it did in his old house. He nodded contently at the sepia-toned photographs, passing by the hoof-carved furniture that carried with it the scent of apples, and into the kitchen, where the mare of his dreams awaited...
"Well hey there, slick."
Macintosh's smile cracked, his eyes widening in horror.
How... you can't be...
Rainbow Dash was the mother of his foals? Impossible!
He glanced around to see his children were no longer the lovable earth pony scamps they had been, but now rowdy, rainbow maned trouble makers flying around the house, fighting with each other and breaking whatever they pleased while Rainbow shouted obscenities at them in a effort to quiet them down.
The second he turned away from the cyan pegasus, the idyllic country home turned into a trashy hovel. The floor was littered with fast food and pizza boxes, the walls were covered with crayon drawings, and Dash had inexplicably gone from the kitchen to the couch. She sat and drank deeply from a can of cider, her belly much larger than Macintosh remembered, reading a stunt flier magazine. Though from the looks of it, she hadn’t been stunt flying in a long time.
"No..." Mac muttered to himself, recoiling in horror at the scene before him. Was this real? Was he really trapped inside some hellish hole in the wall with this filly and her, their offspring?
He shook his head violently in an attempt to rouse himself from what he was certain for the sake of his sanity was a nightmare. The scene around him disappeared; leaving him enveloped in an inky blackness that he assumed was death. His memory of the rattlesnake bite came flooding back to him, and with it, the disconcerting realization the Rainbow Dash had managed to kill him, and he was now safely in the afterlife.
Though if he were, where were all his long dead relatives and such? Isn't there supposed to be a heaven or hell he'd be going to? Or maybe this was that purgatory place some ponies believe in. Still, he was sure he had been a pretty good pony during his time, so he thought he'd at least be on the waiting list for heaven. After what could have been a few minutes, hours, or even days, the all encompassing numbness began fading away, sense by sense. A faint light stung his eyes as the earthy scent of dust and dirt tempted him to sneeze, though he fought the urge.
It was only when he'd felt the loose sand and dirt beneath his forelegs that he considered the possibility that he wasn't dead after all. With a rather violent grunt, Mac's head shot up, eyes wide, startling Rainbow from her sleep.
"What! What is it!?" Rainbow asked, head darting back and forth, believing something was trying to eat one or both of them.
She glanced at Mac, noting for a second the odd look he was giving her as he donned his hat. On the outside, Dash kept herself collected, but on the inside she was heaving a huge sigh of relief that Mac had woken up. Though it did take him about twelve hours.
"Good, you're awake," she yawned, looking toward the rising sun.
Relieved to still be alive, Mac had to know; "How... how did you..."
"Save your flank?"
He nodded dumbly, still not entirely over his brush with death to respond in his usual demeanor.
"I just gave you the right stuff, like you said," she added nonchalantly. It wasn't as though she had faced a huge phobia she'd harbored since she was a filly or anything. His leg still hurt, but the agonizing burning had been reduced to a dull throbbing. He got to three of his working legs and gingerly tested the injured appendage. It only took a small amount of weight before buckling.
That's okay... it'll just take a bit a' walkin' to get it back in the swing of things.
He showed no grimace or trace of pain as he forced his injured leg to bear at least some of the load.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Rainbow asked, the wound on his leg still looking somewhat discolored, though the bleeding had finally stopped.
"Ah'm fine. How much time did we lose?" he asked urgently.
Rainbow sighed. Maybe she was right about this stallion being an emotionless farm robot. "About twelve hours."
Mac moaned. "Dang... we'll have to get through the wasteland if we want to have a chance of makin' it to Prairieville in time ta sell these cattle."
"Fine, but don't you think you should get a bandage on that first?" Dash suggested, trying out her 'try to be helpful' attitude toward her stallion guide.
Mac wasn't one to argue a point, especially if it made sense. Although, with the nightmare still fresh in his mind, he was reluctant to let her attempt another medical procedure. Though if she had managed the anti-venom without trouble, he figured she could probably wrap a bandage. How wrong he was.
Aside from looking as though his leg had been wrapped by a blind pony, he figured he probably couldn't have done much better if he had attempted to do it himself. He decided to spare her feelings and keep his opinion to himself, thanking her for the effort and hoping some of the politeness he was displaying would rub off on her.
"Now go get some water," Dash demanded, wrinkling her nose and covering it with a hoof. "You've been sweating like a pig all night, and you're kinda starting to smell like one."
Mac gave her a deadpan stare before moving in silence toward the river. The roused cattle soon joined him, though thankfully only for a drink. The stallion carefully stepped into the swift water and splashed it over himself, hoping it would at least do something to clean him up. A proper bath was still miles away. After drinking his fill, he refilled every available canteen, hoping the water supply would last two ponies until they reached the oasis.
It was imperative that the cows drink as much as they could from the river, as there was only one small oasis in that part of the wasteland. Tiny enough to be overlooked by caravans, and undetectable on any map, Macintosh's great grandfather had stumbled across it while lost in the desert. The knowledge had been passed down from father to son until Mac's father had made him memorize how to find it, should he ever become lost or disoriented in the wasteland.
Even with knowledge of the water hole's location, it was still a treacherous journey. Celestia's sun scorched the land during the day while Luna's moon allowed a hard freeze at night. Not to mention the plethora of lethal insects, snakes, and other undesirable creatures inhabiting the same land they'd be trying to traverse. Macintosh gingerly tested his leg again, before slinging the saddlebags over his back. His bad leg faltered for a moment, but he managed to straighten it before he fell over.
However momentary it was, Rainbow noticed his moment of weakness, but decided not to say anything. She, for one, hated it when others saw her struggle, and could only imagine how much appearing powerful and in control meant to a stallion. They practically had machismo embedded in their souls.
Still, she could identify with the male plight somewhat. Even though she generally tried her best to hide her sensitive emotions, at least as a girl she could express them if she wanted to. She never did, but at least she had the option. Stallions who openly expressed their feelings or cried were generally looked down upon in Equestrian society. Most stallions were expected to be able to break a leg and not shed a tear. How that proved one was masculine Rainbow hadn't the slightest. Content with her self proclaimed good deed and casting her thoughts on gender equality aside, she started towards the herd.
"So this wasteland place, it's just a desert right?"
"Eeyup," he answered, getting the cattle into gear with a slap on the flanks. Thankfully, Rainbow had taken her position above the herd, letting Mac's limps and grunts go unheard and unseen as he kept up as best he could on an injured leg. Still, he had to wonder why he cared whether or not this filly saw him limping. Why did he care if she thought he was a tough, capable stallion, able to power through even the most grave of injuries? Mac's eyes shot wide as he began to realize something he was desperate to push back into the depths of his mind.
"Nope! She's just one of Applejack's friends, and that's it," he said to himself, still catching his eyes glancing her way to see if she was watching before he could take some of the weight off his leg.
Dangit Mac! She's loud, crass and rude! There is nothin' about her you like! he admonished himself.
Besides, Fluttershy was much more his type. Quiet, loves animals, would work well out on a farm taking care of the sick livestock, and running the household while he was out in the fields. But maybe that was just it. Maybe he had let predictability run his entire life up until that point. Perhaps Fluttershy would be the most predictable of his sisters friends to settle down with. The thought occurred to him, though it was immediately repressed: what if he did something very un-Macintosh?
What if he became a bit... unpredictable?
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*starts to read immediately* (love this story!)
damn! honestly, i think the story is progressing a bit slowly. I just want to read oohoooon!
Even though Mac was in the grips of the fight of his life, Rainbow still couldn't help but think how funny it would be to have thas kind of dirt on the toughest stallion in Ponyville.
Just noticed this, thought I should point it out.
Its going great though!
Very Un-Macintosh... My this-won't-end-well senses are tingling!
So yeah Rainbow isn't exactly the most proper and soft of mares, but even I would think she would be a better mother than Big Mac's nightmare. Despite what her Faustness says about her not being a good sister and whatnot.
Great chapter, think you got both spot on and having a good build up to any kind of Romance. Now it is no longer If they get together, but more of When. Keep it up my friend.
In the Name of Her Serene Majesty,
Celestia's Paladin, For Honor and Duty, for the Sun and Moon
And thus the shipping begins, and I loved how you handled it. I like the idea of Mac choosing Dash, because it's time to move away from his comfort level is great kinda like a welcomed early mid-life crisis. Opposites attract. People tend to ship Dash and Apple Jack or Fluttershy, but very few ship her with Mac when he's basically Apple Jack's and Fluttershy's personality mixed together with a masculine overtone. Kudos to you sir or madam.
Peace Out.
197011 Son of a whore! I scoured this chapter for errors and I still missed one!
197044 That she might, but keep in mind, Mac's dream version of Rainbow is his perception of her, not who she actually is.
197064 Opposites attract is pretty much my mantra for this story. I like writing unusual pairings, simply because of the challenge presented to make their interest in each other seem believable. I can get quite tough at times. And this sir will take your kudos fair waffler.
197226
I figured as much, Bronius. And you are quite right, without watching the RD centric episodes that is the impression I might get about her.
That was a great chapter. I am really enjoying this, it definitely seems you have thought this through. Oh and belated congratulations of making it onto EQD.
Yesss. It updated.
Still doing great so far. I almost don't want to see this end. And now I'm wondering how Rainbow Dash will react to un-Macintosh.
Something tells me she might like it. 
Must keep reading.
For once in your life, Mac... take a chance.
Do it, Mac. Do iiiiiit.
The pre-dream sequence section feels a tad off to me. I feel that RD would be at least a little more worried about her friend's brother, you know, dying, than you paint her to be.
Other than that, not bad.
good shit bro
197841 I figured a chapter about her climbing the walls with worry would be too out of character for her, especially after I spent the first few chapters portraying her apathy to her situation. Plus, with anti-venom, all you could do is hope it works, so I wasn't really sure how to show her passing the time other than trying to hide her concern by thinking about other stuff. Glad you're enjoying it so far!
and then they all bucked.
but seriously this is a pretty unique ship. I don't think I've seen it before, but it's certainly refreshing. I really want to see where this goes. You seem to give Big Mac a deeper characterization than in some other fics I've seen. I agree with the personality that you give him. My gripe with some fics is that they portrait him as shy, when he merely seems introverted. Indeed, everyone in the Apple family seems to be rather amiable and quick to welcome new folks.
I'm hoping that the next few chapters have Dash act in her 'be nicer' mindset, and have Mac rethink his dream/nightmare marriage scenario.
Yes update
cant wait for more
un-Macintosh... this is going to be AWESOME
So...
+ 
= Complete Offspring Hell
198361
STILL TOTALLY WORTH IT!
This story is one of a kind sir.
Nice work!
We'll be getting more soon I hope...?
-PwnyBrony
196221
That's fair enough. I suppose I just don't see RBD as a city-pony because of her athleticism. It is your take on the character however, so it's silly of me to take umbrage.
Indeed I have seen the night sky - in Oman there is a large section of beach which is made free of all light pollution so the sea-turtles can find their way to sea. The night sky there blew my mind completely.
I'm eagerly awaiting more chapters!
.....we would totally love you for it.
Do it. You can't run from your feelings Mac! DO IT!
I wonder why I am sometimes...
-Delta-
201259
This was a bit of a filler chap, I'll admit, but it was necessary to establish the beginnings of a change of heart or two. In all honesty, I didn't want to escalate the story with every chapter, though I know you and I'm sure a few others would like to see it that way. This isn't supposed to be a very long fic chapter wise, so look for things to pick up in the coming updates. Glad you're enjoying it so far!
I love where this is all headed. Though I think I understand why Applejack sent Rainbow to herd the cattle. She's playing matchmaker again like she tried to do with Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rarity. Keep up the good work here. Tracking this story.
211757 Because if Mac didn't go on the cattle drive, there wouldn't be a story! Perhaps AJ's inflated sense of pride told her that if her brother can do math, she could too!
I'm starting to lose faith in this fanfic. This chapter was really boring, and I found myself skipping whole paragraphs. You also seem to insult anything that isn't country. I'm a New York girl, and we don't have fast food and pizza boxes lying around everywhere, and we don't let our kids run around like wild animals.
I feel like this is a good story, but it's taking forever to get to the good stuff. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm a person who hates when people take it slow or deny their feelings. I'm the type of person who is most likely to say "Yeah, I do like him." and then go about my business.
211958 Right, keep in mind that the views expressed in this fanfic are not necessarily the views of the author. I have no problem with big cities, in fact I love them (kind of a fine dining nut). Also, the segment you were referring to was a dream, and the Rainbow dash in that dream was Mac's perception of RD, not who she actually is in the story. As far as the pacing is concerned, I've always disliked fics that are generally nothing more than 'I like you.' 'I like you too!' 'yay!' the end. Personally, I don't see the fun in shipping if everything just goes swimmingly for a pairing. That to me is boring, tired and quite frankly a cliche in the fandom at this point. I can tell you it will pick up, and if you decide to stick around, that's great! If however you think this isn't for you, I respect your decision.
Been enjoying this thoroughly, and I look forward to Chapter 6 when the link shows up! And I have to say that I can see where you're coming from with your elaborations on some of Macintosh's behavior. It's not exactly what he's been shown to be from his momentary spots in the show, but I like your take on his on-duty self. I think Rainbow's personality is dead-on, too. So thus far, I can't really think of anything I don't like -- the pacing in particular I like. I'll be watching this one as it progresses, keep up the good work!
220806 Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it! Macintosh has been one of my favorite non mane 6 ponies, simply because the show practically gives him no personality at all, so it's up to the author to give him one, and convince the readers that he could actually be like this if the show writers ever decide to give him an episode and have him say more than a few scant lines/ be poisoned with love potions. I still resent that they haven't done anything meaningful with what is arguably the only male character in the series that could remotely matter besides Spike. But I digress, Chapter six is done! All I'm waiting on now is my pre-reader to send it back to me, and it will be posted. I can't say how busy he is though, but Celestia willing, it will be posted tonight.
I like the overall way this story has been going and its relatively sedate pace. I wonder how you'll explain away the doll though. I'm personally hoping its something applebloom put in there for good luck as it always seemed so unlike him to hang onto it. Maybe after the spell broke he decides to hide it in case it's still dangerous. How about Mac being suspicious of all unicorn magic (not racist, just wary) and he's ashamed of how easily the spell got to him?
I can't wait to see how you get rainbow dash interested in Mac, so far she's been lukewarm to him at best, even while hurt. I greatly look forward to the next chapter.
212193 Okay, then. I love you again
Other than the slightly weird ruminations on gender equality, I liked this chapter. A little heavy handed on the "they are total opposites and not meant for each other, but..." angle in the relationship development, but I did like the implication that the predictably stoic Macintosh was interested in her unpredictable nature. Albeit... I wonder how predictable Mac actually is? We just know he's reserved, concise, stoic and apparently rather shy. Man alive I hope he gets a few scenes to flesh out his character in the show... we only have 1 consistent male character, and he's not even a pony!
Big Mac? Unpredictable?
Oh god.
You sir know what your talking about in todays society men that express their feelings are looked Down opon did you know that 40% of abuseve marriages are women abusing men? No you didn't because no one cares if a man is being abused if a women is abused everyone goes ape shit. Am I the only one who sees the hypocrisy? 40% isn't an icolated incident. They have days to talk about women's rights well what about men's rights? Do People not care any more? Sorry this is sounding more and more like a rant. But just think about it people.
This is the closest I can find to,
"The Stallion With No Name."
Please tell me you've seen that Clint Eastwood movie. You are not a man if you haven't seen Clint Eastwood's best Spaghetti Western.
I saw the whole Rainbow Dash/Big Mac ship beginning and I was just like, "Wow, really?" but after some reading I changed to more of a: "Hey, this story is AWESOME." Seriously, great job!
1083175 I read that spaghetto western
Okay, I'm going to call it here. Most Dash/Mac ships are total sheeeeeeeeeit but this had good publicity so I gave it a chance, and I'm glad I did. This is brilliant.
I loved this line. Particularly the implication that being dead would finally keep him safe from being with Dash