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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Fun side note; There are always remnants of songs I've been listening to while writing, hidden throughout the chapters.
Ok, that wasn't really that fun...
1173833
Scavenger Hunt?
Treasure Hunt??
By all the Gods!!!
GET THAT TREASURE!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!
happyjammers.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/pirate_charge.jpg
1173894
Haha, well, yeah, but, it's usually pretty fucking difficult. I mean, even if someone did see them, they sure as hell wouldn't know the song.
... 'Side from this chapter. I explicitly include lyrics. You could just Google them badboys. Oh, and chapter 4's title I believe.
i wouldn't of made it back to twilight's place...![:ajsleepy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/ajsleepy.png)
A chapter in the very morning? URAH!
1173978
Well, how about some incentive? You know what's at Twilight's place? ... ... Twilight!
1174013
Strange isn't it? And I'm not usually awake for another few hours. So; are you a Brit like me? Or one of those up-all-night Americans?
1174031 you do have a point.![:trixieshiftright:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/trixieshiftright.png)
1174031
Brits! W00T!
Can't wait for the new chapter though! VANT! @u@
Reading this at school...
LIKE A FAUST!!!
Also, why have we not seen anything of Lyra?
1174089
Yes, Brits. WOOP!
1174260
You rebel, you! And as much as I should not be encouraging it; school is boring, ponies are not.
As for Lyra? You may have seen how I write. It is based more on what I feel like writing than what I should write. So, Lyra in the future? Maybe.
Let me guess he will have fun with those three flowers hehe![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
1175365
One can only speculate...
I know 1175400 but I think thats what is going to happen nwith three mares :/
1174031 I'm an up all night American.....I mean if that's okay.
1175436
Wouldn't have it any other way!
1175452 I don't understand. Please explain by what you mean.
1176144
You're an all-night-American. And I am very Ok with that. I approve. Me gusta. Ja'dore. That kinda thing.
1176185 Well okay then bro. Keep up the good work! Cause this story is![:rainbowkiss:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowkiss.png)
1176260
Thank you! I shall do my best!
new chapter![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
Good Chapter, now time to pwn at CS:GO.
Imagine my surprise when I come across this. After hearing Kintra talk about your writing as much as he did, I was really excited to sit down and read this.
First things that come to mind... A lot of adverbs. You go into great detail in just about everything. I appreciate that. Still, it does make this a bit of a... Heavy read. If you know what I mean. It feels the most bogged down when you describe the position of the characters. It just feels like it isn't needed, you know? The reader can infer some information, but that may just be preference.
"He wondered how the people back home would react if they knew he’d screwed a pony." Really? I think you know.
I'd make a comment about characterization, but I had the decency to look through other comments before going into that.
It is all open to interpretation. For me, it can be jarring, but I always get difficult when it comes to how the girls are portrayed.
Another two cents I'd like to throw in, would be to divide up the flow of large walls of text. A good mix of exposition, narration, and dialogue is easier on the eyes than back to back large paragraphs.
Also! "A shy blush tinted the mares face. “I, uh, I was the one who called out in the crowd earlier, surprised that you speak...”
Bits of dialogue with description added in is a big plus. I'm not saying to do that each time, but adding it in after every few lines helps break things up.
Overall it was fun. Not to mention the first pony story I've read in months. Take it easy, Rob. I'll see if I can't say more on the next update.
1178286
Long time, no speak!
Haha, you actually decided to read this!? Dissapointment after so long, huh. Well, all I can say is 'that's my style'. I have recently asked Satin for help on exactly what you just said, as in; it feels like I add too much of one thing, e.g. description or dialogue. I know I jump through walls or description into nothing but dialogue, I find it hard to... integrate them sometimes. As for the level of description, I think that's an 'each to their own' one - I like heavy, heavy description, and so I write it, for me, it's more immersive that way. As for positions and action sof the characters, I sometimes feel that without that; I'd just be writing dialogue. But, as I said, each to their own!
As for the paragraphing, it ammuses me; you say they need to be shorter, and I honestly thought the opposite! Haha, now I dunno how to do it! Although, I think they get shorter later on... maybe. Hopefully you'll think that improves.
And yeah, lol, my characterization. Well, if you read the comment I think you did, that answers that! I like taking things into my own hands. I'll openly admit it's bad, but I'll also tell you it was intended to be that way - err... the way it is!
And you say 'fun', to be honest dude, that's the reason I write this. If you got even a little bit of fun from this, then my job is done! I write it for fun, and hopefully that translates, it's not meant to be a serious story with a serious level of dedication; it is what it is, something I really enjoy to write!
Also, first thing in months? I'm honoured.
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“Hello Celestia…”
“Hi Arc!”
“Goodbye Celestia…”
“See ya Arc!”
Somehow I feel I've had this conversation with Ryan before. I like being an "up all night American." and Fantastic chapter as always.
Coal's here... Hate....
Celestia is the niggling little voice in the back of his head.... THAT IS MY JOB!!!! Wrath of the Madgod!!! *awesome montage*. Discord ain't got shit on us!
AMERICA FUCK
YEA
1267135
Hmmm. Surprisingly little "we're all going to die" considering that this is the flower trio we're talking about
On a different note "character assassination"? I think the term you are looking for is "character evaluation" unless the ponies killed his character