Pandemic: Starting Over

by Halira

Chapter 3: Yinyu Wu Yan

We needed to go to bed early to catch an early plane back to the states. This ended up being more complicated than it needed to be. Aside from Lántiān and her daughter, every foal had issues that needed to be addressed.

Hǎo Mèng was asleep at the moment but would almost certainly going to be awake through the night. The staff assured me they had someone standing by to care for him, but Lántiān let it slip that her youngest brother almost always went straight to their mother upon waking up and would likely throw a fit when he couldn't find her. She said this was likely to happen even with his mother warning him that she wasn't going to be there when he woke up. He was just too young to understand his mother trying to explain. The staff took this warnings and said they'd be prepared for that too, but I knew that I was going to wake up to a very unhappy night pony colt.

His brothers had a different issue, one that truly caught me by surprise. I stared in disbelief at my oldest ward as she finished explaining their problem with going to bed. "The violin? Seriously? They need someone playing the violin for them to go to bed? How- why?"

She closed her eyes and spoke slowly, like she was the one talking to a child. "Our mother always put them to bed by playing the violin, ma'am. What is the term? Lullaby?"

I rolled my eyes. "Lullabies are sung, not played on instruments. I didn't even know Yinyu knew how to play an instrument. Did she just play some recording?"

Lántiān shook her head. "No, ma'am. Our mother was very skilled with the violin, a concert-quality performer. She played it only for us, and only when putting us to bed. She did this even back when I was human. It was our normal ritual for when she was tucking us in bed."

"Concert quality, you say?" I asked in disbelief. "Where did she even learn how to play the violin that well? It doesn't seem like something she ever needed for her… work." How did a night pony even properly manipulate the strings on a violin? They did have thumbs on their wings, but that was only one 'finger', and not even a proper finger at that. She likely did some combination of using her wing and a hoof, but it was hard to picture exactly how that would work.

The filly shrugged. "I do not know, ma'am. She must have learned it as a child, but our mother has always kept details of her childhood secret, even to me."

If she was so great with the violin, why did she whore herself out? It was even more confusing that she'd do that if she was still that good after her transformation. A night pony that could play the violin well seemed like enough of a novelty that it could have led to a decent little entertainment career. At the very least, she could have made a career teaching other ponies how to do the same. The fact that she continued to play for her foals indicated this was something she enjoyed doing, so why didn't she? I couldn't imagine someone would willingly degrade themselves by doing sex work when they had readily available options for a better career doing something they loved.

That was yet another thing that wasn't important right now. Considering that she was now just a spirit in the dream realm, it would likely never be important. Yinyu could keep her secrets, but the colts needed to go to sleep.

I got the attention of a nearby staff member. "Hey! Is there anything in the rooms that can play music recordings?"

The human staff member nodded. "There are computers in all the bedrooms. They have strong firewalls, but I know a few websites that they are allowed to access that might fit your needs."

I gestured at Lántiān. "Can you assist her with getting some music playing for her brothers? I'm sure she knows better than anyone else what would appeal to them."

The staff member nodded. "Of course, Miss Blessing." He then guided Lántiān away to the colts' room.

I headed to my room and silently cursed myself as I entered. I had forgotten to wish any of them a good night. It might seem silly to be mad at myself for forgetting that since I was not their mother, and it was highly doubtful any of them were expecting anything like that from me, but it was at least a general courtesy that I owed them. I might not be the right choice for a guardian, but that didn't mean I should slough off my duties as a caregiver. I had an obligation to at least attempt to show compassion and care for them. Way to go, Sunset; you're still screwing up.

I didn't even bother to look at my surroundings once I was in the bedroom. They were probably full of expensive furniture and art, but I couldn't be bothered to care. I identified where the bed was and where the private bathroom was; those were all I needed to worry about. It was time to go to sleep and face Yinyu.

---

Jetlag made getting to sleep much easier than I thought it would be. I found myself on a flare marble slab surrounded by open space. It uncomfortably reminded me of the old coliseum that the Dreamwardens had crafted years before for the trial of my wife, not my happiest memory. She'd been found not guilty, but only after I'd been tricked onto doing their bidding. It was the biggest relief of my life when the verdict came in not guilty, but having Sha'am Maut's gambit against me succeed left a sour taste in my mouth. I hoped that Dreamwarden was burning in a special corner of hell.

It only took a moment for my host to appear. She looked like what might happen if a seapony and a dragon had a baby. She had two large fins where forelegs would typically be, her whole body was covered in multicolored scales that shifted color constantly, large leathery wings in the same rainbow hue adorned her back, she lacked any hind legs or hind fins, and her tail was a massive meaty extension of her body. The face that stared at me was ponylike but also draconic, and her sharp serrated teeth jutted out of her lips along her muzzle. I was told Yinyu considered this form whimsical; I disagreed.

I looked up at my charges' nightmarish mother. "Let's cut out the run around; you have free reign to speak and act on whatever you're reading in my mind."

She stared down at me with an expression that matched her daughter's earlier one. "That does save time. It gets tiring, acting like I don't know what's going on in your head. Especially since I can't choose not to listen anymore."

I leveled my finest glare I could manage. Dreamwardens didn't scare me. I had a daughter and a wife who were Dreamwardens, and I knew the rules they operated by. Failing to kiss Yinyu's undead rump didn't pose any risks. "Well? You know what I'm thinking. So, where are my answers?"

Yinyu opened her mouth into a toothy grin. "Watch yourself, preacher. You're right that I won't hurt you, but I can choose to be uncooperative if you get rude with me."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I'll take my chances. Now speak. You've got a lot of explaining to do."

She coiled up in the air like a snake. "I suppose I do. Let me see; your most pressing question is why you were picked to have custody of my foals. The answer to that involves many factors. First, you are the most suitable option out of their surviving family, and I wanted to keep this in the family."

"We're not even related!"

Yinyu vanished and reappeared, placing her fin over my mouth. "Hush! You're close enough to family. I consider all the Dreamwardens my siblings, and that means you have two ties to us. That makes you family, in a roundabout way."

I was about to ask why not some other 'family' member, but she was reading my mind and headed me off. "Out of the living family options, you were the one with the least on your current plate to deal with. Phobia is active in dealing with officials and raising her own family. Krik is contemplating retirement and is older than you by two decades. Psy is available, but much as I love him, I don't want my foals spending every minute of every day being psychoanalyzed; he also doesn't show emotion well, and they need someone who isn't so cold. Wild Growth was strongly considered, really strongly considered, but she has a misplaced sense of invincibility that I feared would put my foals at risk. The remaining options, the Middletons, haven't the resources to protect my offspring."

She swam behind me. "The second reason for why you were chosen is your spouse made a case for you. She is watching us right now but has agreed to give us some illusion of privacy."

She swam back in front of me, and she laid a fin on my shoulder, and there was sympathy and regret on her eyes when she held my gaze. "The final reason why you were chosen is that you and I are very much alike in one important way. You've let your passions lead you to some huge mistakes, mistakes that ended up getting everyone you care about hurt and costing you everything. I won't go onto the details, but I dealt with the same thing twenty years ago. You know what you have done and have taken responsibility for it, even more responsibility than is due in some cases. I know you will do everything in your power never to make mistakes like that again, and I trust you will do everything in your power to protect my foals as a result."

She wrapped her massive fishtail around me and pulled me close to her. "Let's see, next question. Why'd I go and set myself on fire? Well, that wasn't my original plan. I had wanted to get me and my foals out of China. I had the perfect pony in your country lined up to train to be my replacement. I would spend a few years in your country training that pony; then, I was going to take my family and myself to Equestria for early retirement. But our escape was found out, and the only distraction that would allow my foals to get away safely was me."

"Why run at all?" I asked, rushing to get the question out of my mouth before she could start answering it. I don't know why I felt the need to ask the question out loud. Perhaps it was just to make the conversation feel a little less one-sided.

She released me, and her posture sagged As she drifted away from me. "As to why I was doing all that, it's simple. My government figured out that I happen to know a lot about alien tech, and the rules for keeping secrets didn't apply to how to make that tech. They wanted knowledge of weapons, and I wouldn't tell them." Her eyes started to water. "They knew it was useless to threaten me directly, so they threatened the lives of my foals instead. I had to protect them."

She wiped her muzzle with a fin, then shook her head. "They don't even know they were threatened, though I'm going to be telling Lántiān about it shortly. She's so confused about so many things. They've filled her head with Shimmerist lies and convinced her that they're the good guys."

I would have stepped forward, but there was a literal bottomless chasm right in front of me. "Yet you gave them to me, the world's premier Shimmerist."

She chuckled dryly. "Former premier Shimmerist. I don't think you can apply the Shimmerist label to yourself anymore. You've seen through your lies. I'm sorry that it had to happen in such a traumatic way, but you now see the truth about Shimmerism. I'm hoping you can help undo the indoctrination they've done to my daughter." The Dreamwarden bared her teeth in a snarl. "I love her dearly, but she and I don't see eye to eye. I could deal with normal disagreements, but this is more than some simple disagreement, especially since those Shimmerists she admires so much threatened her to get to me. Perhaps she'll listen to you where she wouldn't listen to me."

I turned away. "I tried to convince Shimmerists to abandon their speciest views. I got nothing but rebuke. I’m The Apostate now, which I suppose is accurate if they didn't want to change along with me. I invested so much time forging them into what they are today. Now I'm forced to live with what I made."

"She may yet listen to you, as may others," Yinyu replied. "Don't be discouraged because you have had some initial failures. You did not build Shimmerism in a day, and it will not be destroyed in one. Stick to your convictions and fight back against the monster you assisted in creating. That very well may be what my daughter needs to hear."

I wasn't so convinced but wasn't going to argue the point. "What about the colts? We've said a lot about your daughter, but not much about them. Shǔguāng, in particular, we need to talk about."

She nodded. "You've heard the rumors. To tell the truth, I don't know if his father is who they say. I did sleep with Érzi, that part isn't a rumor, but I slept with a lot of other stallions. I was the whore of Beijing and slept with thousands over the years. He does have a strong resemblance to Érzi and is a unicorn, but the same thing could be said of you, and no one is going to claim you're a relative."

"Your daughter doesn't seem to approve of you calling yourself that," I observed.

She laughed. "My daughter has some misguided ideas about what honor means. I hope you break her of them."

"So what do I do about Shǔguāng if your old bed partner comes claiming to be the father?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I don't want Érzi to take him and will stand by that. I don't know how that will work in the courts since I'm dead, but there are special circumstances in my case."

"And do you have any special guidance on what I should be doing with him, Hǎo Mèng, and Hé Líng? You gave me guidance on what you want to happen with Lántiān, but nothing about the other three."

She shook her head again. "They are so young and malleable. Just give them love and kindness. They'll adjust, and bounce back, even if my death will always be painful. I'm going to try more to make them understand what has happened to me. You don't have to worry about being the one to have to explain it." She smirked at me. "And yes, you can call my two younger sons Líng and Mèng, and you won't upset anyone. I called them by those shortened versions, along with a variety of different nicknames. Lántiān is just trying to be defiant with you by insisting on their full names, and I'm calling her out about it as we speak. Shǔguāng and Lántiān you'll just have to accept their names as they are."

"But no specific instructions about any of the colts?"

She shook her head. "Not much. Mèng I would invest in a human nanny to help him early on, rather than a night pony. I want him to get used to humans and see them in a positive light. You can have a night pony help with him when he gets older. Mèng hasn't reached his demon phase as of yet, so you'll be the one to figure out how to deal with that when it comes. Líng is very fond of water and enjoys boats and swimming. He also tends to get very muddy as a result, and it blends right into his fur. Always triple check him for mud; he loves to track it everywhere. Shǔguāng is a very bold little colt and tends to dominate over his brothers. He can lead them into some misadventures, so watch it if it gets a sly look in his eye. He doesn't like to do things alone, so separating him for periods can keep him out of trouble. I wouldn't recommend doing that too often though, as he and his brothers are very close, and it would hurt them to stay separated for extended periods."

"Nothing else? Like them needing the violin playing when they go to sleep?" I asked, knowing she had to be leaving a lot out.

She looked me in the eyes again. "Lántiān can help you with the rest. She's aware of all their quirks. I was hoping you could get to know them on your own. I'll back your parenting decisions, even if I don't agree with all of them, as long as you are legitimately caring for my foals. If there's anything you do that I think is completely unacceptable, I'll be sure to let you know."

Okay, so I didn't have to worry about fighting with Yinyu over how her foals were being raised, assuming I wasn't abusive or neglectful. I certainly had no intention of doing anything abusive, but neglecting some need was something I was anxious about. I'd turned a blind eye to certain things when raising Phobia, and that showed I was very capable of neglect. I'd give this my best effort, but I still thought I wasn't the best one for the job.

Yinyu gave me another sympathetic look. "Don't be discouraged. You're not alone in this. Lántiān will help you, and you have your daughter and me to consult. Your wife will certainly be glad to give you advice, even though she doesn't have the same experience with foals."

I also had Wild Growth, or at least, Wild Growth's money. She had me on a monthly allowance and letting me use a SPEC condo in Denver to live in. The condo was certainly big enough to accommodate all of us, but I would need to ask for a raise in my allowance, at least for this adjustment period. I'd need to find some way of earning income on my own eventually, and balancing that and giving time to five foals was going to be a struggle, but at least it was one that wasn't here yet. I didn't doubt that Wild would give me that extra money, considering the circumstances, but she'd be wanting to know how long she'd need to keep shelling out, or she'd get unhappy with me taking advantage of her generosity.

Yinyu drifted further away. "I'll leave you be. You aren't a dreamwalker, and non-dreamwalkers shouldn't spend too much time in these types of dreams. It will tire you out as if you haven't slept. If we need to spend too much time this way, you might consider me making you a dreamwalker so it won't tire you, but I know that you prefer not to be given that ability. Sleep well, Sunset Blessing, and do your best."