That time my OC got turned into a waifu

by Leondude

Chapter 9 - Party, Party, Party!

Lion was sound asleep on Sunset's sofa, curled up like a puppy. He was in such a deep slumber that he was drooling all over the pillow. Unfortunately, his rest was about to be cut short as a familiar party person slowly sneaked up towards him and blew a party blower directly into his ear.

"Agh!" Lion loudly exclaimed. "Could you not do that?! I have sensory..."

Before Lion could finish his sentence, he saw that Sunset's entire apartment was filled with strangers chatting, dancing, and holding cups of what appeared to be punch. There was also a banner pinned on the wall saying 'Welcome, Lioness Dudette!'.

"Issues," Lion said quietly.

"Hi!" the pink person said enthusiastically, "I'm Pinkie Pie and I threw this party just for you! Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

"I'm more surprised that I wasn't woken up much sooner," Lion snarkily replied "Considering how noisy most social gatherings are and that I'm a light sleeper."

"Ooh, I know what'll get you in the party mood!" Pinkie made a mad dash into the kitchen and came back to Lion's side with a tray full of cupcakes. "It's a family recipe," Pinkie said with a squeak.

Feeling slightly peckish due to not having food in ages since coming to this world, Lion carefully picked up one of the cupcakes and took a bite out of it. It tasted surprisingly sweet, with the icing being strawberry flavoured. Maybe it was because he hadn't eaten in a while but Lion felt an increased boost in energy. Now feeling the need to wash down the cupcake, Lion made his way towards what appeared to be a punch bowl, where a human with light yellow skin and pink hair stood. She wore a white top and a green skirt. After arriving at the punch bowl, he scooped up some punch and poured it into a cup.

"So..." Lion said to the human, "You trying to avoid social interactions by standing near the punch bowl and staying out of everyone's way?"

"Mmm-hmm," the human replied.

"Same," Lion said right back.

Lion lifted his cup full of punch in the air and inspected it.

"Alcoholic or non-alcoholic?" Lion asked.

"Huh?" the human replied.

"The punch."

"Oh. I think it's Pinkie's Fruity Vodka Party Punch."

"Good," Lion said as he prepared to drink the punch. "To the socially awkward!."

And without a moment's hesitation, Lion downed the entire cup of punch in one go. He could certainly taste the lemon in the punch along with that familiar taste of booze. Still feeling peckish, he went to eat more cupcakes, which he immediately washed down with more punch.

---

After eating and drinking his weight in cupcakes and punch respectively, Lion felt incredibly uneasy. He could not stop shaking and his heart was beating like a samba. Maybe it's because he drank too much punch but he knew when he had enough alcohol. Believing the cupcakes to be the problem, especially since he was lactose-intolerant, Lion walked up to Pinkie Pie to see what was going on.

"Uh...Pinkie?" Lion asked, "What was in those cupcakes?"

"Oh, just some margarine, tons of sugar, eggs, flour, icing, and a fuckton of cocaine," Pinkie replied.

"Cocaine?!"

"The original recipe didn't have any cocaine but once I got older, I realized that the only way to keep the party going is with some good old Showbiz Sherbert."

It did not take Lion long to realize why his heart was acting up. While he had recently learned why smoking poison joke was a bad idea, he already knew full well that cocaine and alcohol were a bad combination. Lion made a mad dash around the apartment looking for Sunset, managing to find her in the bathroom. Feeling like he was going to die, Lion did not bother questioning what Sunset was doing in the bathroom. Or at least he didn't bother asking why the door was unlocked.

"Hey, Sunset," Lion asked. "Do you know where Twilight is? I'd like to talk to her about something and, if I tell a doctor about it, I'd probably be thrown in prison if the drug laws of this world are anything like Equestria's laws."

"She's hanging out with Timber Spruce at a Red Lobster somewhere," Sunset replied.

"Thanks. You're a life-saver."

---

Twilight and Timber Spruce sat at a table waiting for their food to be served. As Twilight sat back and awkwardly twiddled with her thumbs, trying to think up a good topic of conversation that she hoped wouldn't evolve into rambling, she noticed a familiar nearly-naked red-haired girl barge her way through the doors.

"Yayayayaya-ooh, yes!" Lion said as he made his way towards Twilight.

Lion crouched down next to Twilight.

"Given all the science-y stuff in your basement, I'm going to assume you have some medical knowledge so I'd like your opinion on a little problem I'm having," Lion said without missing a beat.

"Are you drunk?" Twilight asked.

"That and I just found out Pinkie Pie's cupcakes have cocaine in them and I think I'm gonna die," Lion replied before quickly turning towards Timber Spruce. "Ooh, where are my manners? Hi, my name is Lion Dude and I'm here to steal your waifu..."

Lion's thoughts trailed off as he noticed a guy with a lobster on his plate. While he had never tried lobster and easily assumed he wouldn't like it even if he did try it, he felt a sudden urge to grab the lobster right off of the platter and take a bite out of it. An urge he acted on with little to no resistance and spat out the bit of lobster afterward. Confirming his suspicions of not liking lobster, he slammed the lobster back onto the platter and told the waiter next to the table the most obvious fact about the lobster.

"This is dead," Lion said, tapping on the lobster as if to emphasize his point. "Dead!"

Trying to satiate his newfound hunger, Lion lunged his way towards another table that had a basket full of cheddar bay biscuits, something that he could eat even though he considers them a bit bland compared to the ones made in Equestria. After eating all the biscuits, he suddenly began to feel very, very sweaty.

"I'm hot," Lion said, once again stating the obvious. "Is anyone else hot?"

Pushing everyone that was in his way out of the way, Lion climbed into the lobster tank. Miraculously, the tank managed to hold his weight. Even more miraculously, the lobsters weren't pinching his bum.

"Much better," Lion said in a relaxed tone.

As Timber Spruce covered his face, embarrassed by Twilight's new friend, Twilight walked up to Lion in the tank.

Uh...Lion?" Twilight asked. "Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"Nope," Lion replied. "They'd arrest Pinkie Pie if I di....."

Before Lion could finish his sentence, his heart stopped as his head went forwards into the tank, with air bubbles escaping his mouth at a rapid speed.

Author's Note:

And then he shat himself because my editor overlooked the little detail that, like me, Lion Dude is lactose-intolerant.

O Party Party Party
I wanna have a Party
I need to have a Party
You better have a Party
O Party Party Party
You gotta Party harty
I'm gonna have a Party
Or else you won't be sorry

God, I miss Hellsing Ultimate Abridged. Hell, I miss TeamFourStar in general.

Comments

[DmitriTheWriter]

Well shit. I didn't know that.

Besides, Lion's already drunk off his ass and high on cocaine. What's a little lactose intolerance really going to hurt in the grand scheme of things?