I noticed that one time you said Rainbow Dash. Isn't Rainbow Blitz the one being fucked? I can understand Dusk having a fit, though. In the next chapter, will you show how Berry and Blitz surprise each of their remaining friends?
Hehe. I'll admit, a perverted part of me kinda wants to see blitz get gangbanged by his friends at his official coming out party. I can see berry encouraging them to play a pervy version of 'ice the cake' with blitz
One question, Dusk will have a heart attack when they reveal it? That's surprising, I'd expect Dusk to be one of the more unphased ones. Elusive maybe, since its not the 'proper' handsome stallion/beautiful mare combination that is generally accepted. But Dusk? Unless of course the heart attack is in reference to how adorable they look together, but I don't think that's right.
Berry is begining to look like the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around.
2811258 Blitz is cumming every time though, Berry knows how to fuck him so he climaxes too. He'd never be so inconsiderate.
2811207 Its more like he'd have a heart attack out of shock and surprise, because he isn't expecting it, not because of any problems with it, and since he might be viewed as the most sheltered of his friends.
2810456 Maybe one day, after the story has been done, I'll make some random pure-clop chapters just for that sort of thing. Who knows.
2809065 Thanks for pointing that out, very helpful and I appreciate it. Haha, had some crossed wires in my brain.
Gotcha, misinterpreted the cause. That's good, It'd irk me to no end to have a sudden 'dusk is homophobic' out of char moment.
All fanfics are out of char, but there's a spectrum of 'eh, I could see it happening' to 'we are talking about the same character, right?' A LOT of fanfic authors seem to skip and bound to the other end of the spectrum.
And I'd like to see those clop chapters :p There is a shortage of good porn authors who can handle dialogue and action well; and even fewer of them do M/M pairings.
Um good writing and all but can you please not mention dead parents at the start. The emotional turmoil of maintaining your composure even though every time you see the candles on your little brother's cake you remember just how long you have been an orphan really kills the mood dead.
Well, Reading it all, I will say, I am disappointed in you Applejack. You get your bisexual plot into such a nice position, and you dont even take up the offer? Disappointment
Anyhow, actually really good story. Normally, I am not one to favourite clop, stories, because, well, i feel a bit like it should be in my personal files, not out in the open ,but I actually think this has a fine amount of plot and change, so I want to see where this is going. And it is damned good writing. If my OC was anywhere near the two, he would collapse and beg to be along
I'm just going to leave this link here http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcm21piyvr1ro7861o1_1280.png And make a request /story idea. "Getting doubled like that was AWESOME!!! I almost wish I had a vagina so I could take three at once." "You know, I bet Duskie could help with that..." and sexiness ensues!
Well, it started out as just pure clop, something I wrote for lack of submissive femboy Blitz clop here with no intentions of publishing it. Eventually I did, just for the hell of it, and then I got chatting with Jake the Army Guy, and after we talked about it I felt another chapter welling up inside me, just waiting to be written. So I did, with Jake's assistance as a sounding board, and the result is what you see before you. I'm working slowly on the next chapter, but other commitments keep my attention away from it most of the time, sadly.
the characterization in this is really nice , i wonder where was this the whole time i've been on this site? only found it cause another comment mentioned it....
also a visual companion guide would be great for this fic too ♥_♥.....
crap now that i think about it it would actually be nice to have that for all the fics i like......
...oh wait , you did that other fic too? then doubly how did i not know about this fic's existence?.....
I noticed that one time you said Rainbow Dash. Isn't Rainbow Blitz the one being fucked? I can understand Dusk having a fit, though. In the next chapter, will you show how Berry and Blitz surprise each of their remaining friends?
yay
ha.
Hehe. I'll admit, a perverted part of me kinda wants to see blitz get gangbanged by his friends at his official coming out party.
I can see berry encouraging them to play a pervy version of 'ice the cake' with blitz
One question, Dusk will have a heart attack when they reveal it? That's surprising, I'd expect Dusk to be one of the more unphased ones. Elusive maybe, since its not the 'proper' handsome stallion/beautiful mare combination that is generally accepted. But Dusk? Unless of course the heart attack is in reference to how adorable they look together, but I don't think that's right.
Berry is begining to look like the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around.
2811258 Blitz is cumming every time though, Berry knows how to fuck him so he climaxes too. He'd never be so inconsiderate.
2811207 Its more like he'd have a heart attack out of shock and surprise, because he isn't expecting it, not because of any problems with it, and since he might be viewed as the most sheltered of his friends.
2810456 Maybe one day, after the story has been done, I'll make some random pure-clop chapters just for that sort of thing. Who knows.
2809065 Thanks for pointing that out, very helpful and I appreciate it. Haha, had some crossed wires in my brain.
2811571
Gotcha, misinterpreted the cause. That's good, It'd irk me to no end to have a sudden 'dusk is homophobic' out of char moment.
All fanfics are out of char, but there's a spectrum of 'eh, I could see it happening' to 'we are talking about the same character, right?' A LOT of fanfic authors seem to skip and bound to the other end of the spectrum.
And I'd like to see those clop chapters :p There is a shortage of good porn authors who can handle dialogue and action well; and even fewer of them do M/M pairings.
Damn Right, AJ. Submissive Blitz should not be THIS hot!
Loved the threesome. And I can totally believe Berry pulling off this kind of stunt as the solution to Blotz wanting to come out to Applejack :P
2810456
Pervy minds think alike it seems.
That was absolutely incredible. Keep up the amazing work!
great story, very hot. I'm glad you're keeping the feelings purely between Berry and Blitz, this chapter pleased both my perverted and romantic side.
But I do hope for some more chapters just with the two of them.
I have a mighty need!!! You must add dusk shine, i bet he's gay...
Slipped into the present tense here....
and derped on the speech marks here. That was all I spotted. Good chapter.
OOOH BUCK YEAH CHAPTER 3!!! COMMENDE THE READ!
EDIT: Oh jesus christ I wish I was Rainbow Blitz. Fucking LOVED it. Amazing as always.
Hot as all hell. I need moar!!!
just finished chapter 1
that was sooo damn gay, but what disturbs me the most is that I got a bonner while reading
I love this story! This is what I live for!! I love yaoi!! and this was fun!!! yay! please write more chapters!!! please!!!
Um good writing and all but can you please not mention dead parents at the start. The emotional turmoil of maintaining your composure even though every time you see the candles on your little brother's cake you remember just how long you have been an orphan really kills the mood dead.
OPEN WIDE!
Now that would be very awesome.
Well, Reading it all, I will say, I am disappointed in you Applejack.
You get your bisexual plot into such a nice position, and you dont even take up the offer?
Disappointment
Anyhow, actually really good story. Normally, I am not one to favourite clop, stories, because, well, i feel a bit like it should be in my personal files, not out in the open ,but I actually think this has a fine amount of plot and change, so I want to see where this is going.
And it is damned good writing. If my OC was anywhere near the two, he would collapse and beg to be along
I'm just going to leave this link here
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcm21piyvr1ro7861o1_1280.png
And make a request /story idea.
"Getting doubled like that was AWESOME!!! I almost wish I had a vagina so I could take three at once."
"You know, I bet Duskie could help with that..." and sexiness ensues!
lol jk so fucking hot need more
I absolutely love this story! I really hope you continue this!
I do like how the steps in his relationship also synchs up with him going to a new level of sexual pleasure.
I'm just wondering what comes after being stuffed at both ends.
3269283>>3274042>>3274636
Well, it started out as just pure clop, something I wrote for lack of submissive femboy Blitz clop here with no intentions of publishing it. Eventually I did, just for the hell of it, and then I got chatting with Jake the Army Guy, and after we talked about it I felt another chapter welling up inside me, just waiting to be written. So I did, with Jake's assistance as a sounding board, and the result is what you see before you. I'm working slowly on the next chapter, but other commitments keep my attention away from it most of the time, sadly.
Started reading this with a dislike for bottom RainbowBlitz and now I love uke Blitzy and dom Berry.
Y U NO WRITE MOAR???
C'mon, write more.
You know you waaaannt toooo...
the characterization in this is really nice , i wonder where was this the whole time i've been on this site? only found it cause another comment mentioned it....
also a visual companion guide would be great for this fic too ♥_♥.....
crap now that i think about it it would actually be nice to have that for all the fics i like......
...oh wait , you did that other fic too? then doubly how did i not know about this fic's existence?.....
... Berry... That was really a dick move... There are so many ways that could've gone south...
BUT! It didn't, and it was hot. So this chapter gets a total of eight bottles of Berry Flavored Pon-E-Lube(TM) out of ten.