Discord grinned, leaning back in his ottoman chair as the lights came on, bathing him, his suit, the stage, and the desk above him in a neat glow.
“Welcome, everycreature, to the greatest show around, A Stupid Answer!” He yelled out in a cheerful voice. “I’m your host, Discord!”
“And I’m your other host, Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie cried out from her spot on a beach chair atop the desk.
“I’m sure you’re all curious why your original programming has been pre-ended-“
“One, who watches Oat Operas anymore? Second, that girl was TOTALLY gonna ruin the plot of season 6.” Pinkie said, cutting off Discord.
A bit worse for wear, Discord sewed himself back on with, “-and I’m certain you might be a bit mad about it... But who cares?! Let’s get on with this show!”
Pinkie cleared her throat and started speaking. “Now, I’m sure most of you already know how this goes(No you don’t, I’m just messing with you), but I’ll say it again for any new members we might have in the audience.”
Discord looked forward at the empty stands and shrugged.
“We, as your hosts, will draw random letters out of this bag,” Pinkie said, holding out a Mailmare bag. “And do some light investigations on what the answers are.” Pinkie paused for a second. “Or, you know, eat cupcakes and shred the letters.” She added, shrugging.
“Well, we best not keep the public from the truth now, right Pinkie?”
“Indeed, we best not! Sooo....”
”Let’s give A Stupid Answer!” The two yelled out together.
Pinkie pushed her hoof into the bag and moved it around a bit before pulling a blue envelope out.
“First off...” Pinkie opened it and glanced across the first page. “A question from Frazzle T. Dazzle!”
“Not that surprising, it’s the first chapter and he’s the annoying author.” Discord muttered.
“I heard that!!” A voice yelled from the rafters.
Discord shrugged in indifference. “So, what’s the first question, Ms. Pie?”
“*Ahem*’Dear Pinkie and Discord, why is there only one Changeling hive?’ Great question, Frazzle! Do you have any thoughts on this, Discord?”
Discord tapped his chin against the desk above him in thought. “Well, if I had to guess, I’d say that they’re part of a time loop where Changelings from the future sent a squad of Changelings to the past to kill Chrysalis before she became queen, but the time juices from the timestream made their commander go insane, infecting their localized hive mind, causing them all to have massive memory loss, leaving them with basic knowledge of Changeling abilities and an insane leader who later became Chrysalis, first queen of the first hive of Changelings.” Discord then shrugged. “But, meh, it’s just a guess.”
Pinkie gave him a hard stare, leaning over the desk towards Discord, before sproinging back to her spot on the Beach chair with a smile. “That sure is an interesting take on it! What brings you to this conclusion, Discord?”
“Cherry horse-apples negating generically expedient low intensity necromancer gold.” Discord said. “And your guess, Miz Pie?”
“WEELLLLLLL.... SincechangelingslooklikebugsIwasthinkingthattheymusthavebuggyancestorsorbugpowersorsomethinglikethat,somaybetheywerehibernatingforcenturiesinsomeundergroundcavebecausetheywereprotectingthemselvesfromthemassextinctioneventthatkilledthedinosaurs,andwhowantstobeadinosaurfossil?sotheyonlyrecentlywokeupinmodernEquestriabecauseNightmareMoon(Let’scallherMoona!)shookEquisupandstirredthemfromtheirsleepwiththeimbalanceofnightandday,andtheyspentthefirsttwoseasonsoftheshowdoingwackyhijinkstolearnaboutthenewworldthey’rein...”
Pinkie went on like that for a few minutes before Discord slapped a talon over her mouth. Of course, this only muffled it.
“Uh... What an... Interesting theory, Pinkie... But why don’t we try something different?” Discord asked. When her muffled talking stopped, he tentatively removed the talon, throwing it to the side.
Pinkie tapped a hoof to her chin in thought. A light bulb went off over her head. “Well, why don’t we ask one of the hive what they think? Everyone, please give a big round of applause for Pharynx!”
A hole opened up in the ceiling while another opened in the floor. Pharynx came falling down from the top, and an easy chair shot up from the bottom, and they both softly met in the middle. The chair floated down to the stage as Pharynx sat in it, trying to recover from a spell(not the magic kind) of dizziness.
“Uuugh... What... What just happened?” He managed to get out.
“Why, hello and good evening, Pharynx!” Discord greeted, giving him a toothy smile. Pharynx was still too dizzy to grab it, so it dropped out of his hoof to the floor. “It’s so nice to have you on our show tonight!”
Pharynx looked up and around at the stage, the floating desk and Discord before summing up his thoughts.
“What.”
Pinkie stage whispered, “Just roll with it, this won’t be long!” to the Changeling.
Pharynx stared at her for a second before sighing in exasperation. “Fine... It’s... Nice to be here, Discord... Whatever reason I’m here for...”
“You’re here to answer one of life’s most profound mysteries...” Discord ominously stated.
“The thing nocreature knows, that eludes even the brightest of minds...” Pinkie continued.
Pharynx looked on with a slightly raised eyebrow. “What... What is this question?”
Pinkie Pie and Discord paused for a moment before speaking together.
“Why is there only one Changeling Hive?!” They shouted.
Pharynx stared in silent disbelief for a moment, before placing a hoof to his forehead. “You- You brought me out here, through some kind of magic portal, to a stage in a big giant room full of empty seats, to... Tell you why there’s only one Changeling Hive?”
Pinkie and Discord paused for a moment before looking at each other and back to the frazzled Changeling. “Yup, pretty much.” Pinkie said.
Pharynx lowered his hoof, glowering at them. “You could have just asked Thorax. I’m certain he would’ve been easier to get an answer out of.”
“Where’s the fun in that?! He’s one of the lead Changeling characters, you were in one episode! Why NOT ask you instead of him?” Discord exclaimed.
Pharynx sighed. “You’re gonna be disappointed by the answer.”
“Don’t care!”
“...Soooo? What’s the answer?” Pinkie asked.
“If rumors from the Hive are to be believed, we’re flies and spiders turned into sapient horse-bugs by a creepy pony’s tossed out Smooze-enhanced-love-potion.” Pharynx said.
Pinkie and Discord fell backward, stiff as boards, with their legs standing in the air.
“Can I go now?”
Up in the rafters, an author sneezed before shrugging and getting back to writing.
Discord and Pinkie stood on opposite ends of the desk as it floated into the middle of the room, Pharynx long since sent back home.
“Well, that was certainly a good way to start off the chapter. What’s next on the agenda?” Discord asked, sipping coffee.
Pinkie stuck her hoof into the mailmare bag and... Pulled out nothing.
“Huh, looks like there was only the one question.” Pinkie said.
Discord rolled his eyes. “Great, the Author’s leaving us high and dry with the first question. Why can’t he be creative.”
“You try writing this!” The voice from the rafters yelled.
“I would if I was six dimensional!” Discord yelled back.
Pinkie just looked between the two and shrugged. “Guess that’s it for this chap- Ah, Episode! Come back next week when we find out what we’re doing next!”
Discord grumbled a bit under his breath before sighing and giving a false smile. “Until the next stupid question is asked, this has been adieu!”
And with a snap, the stage went dark.
Pinkie, do your parents pay the Cakes to let you live there? Are you planning on taking over Sugarcube Corner, robbing the twins of their inheritance?
Disqord, why have you not told Fluttershy about your wife or your son? Oh, and your son's godmother wants to remind you to stay away and go bother some other Captain if you are feeling bored.
Pinkie, do you love Cheese Sandwich, or do you just consider him a friend?
Discord, do you have access to the afterlife? If so, are you able to talk to Sombra there?
If Cozy's plans would have worked, would Discord have disappeared?
(or just describe what would have happened to some of the major locations)
I have a few questions for you.
Pinkie, how do you afford all the parties you make?
Discord, what is your favorite chaos thing you do?
And for both of you, what is your favorite song?
Question: Will Chrysalis make a return in the season finale? If so, will she have a change of heart, or same old, same old?
Pinkie, why are you so random, it bugs me and I need answers, badly. Like, my mind doesn't fit every question of how you do the most random thing, and are you sure you're an earth pony.
Discord, how did you come to exist? Was Grogar the reason of you're existence? After all, he is the king of monsters. If not, who are your parents, and are there more draconqui?
A story comprised of headcanons? Count me in!
I’m curious at what the unknown parts of Equestria are.... does that count?
Flaming is shaming.
And nobody has time for that.
~Giggle~
Pinkie : Question. Why Does Twilight Never Visit Her Old Canterlot Friends?
Discord : Question. Are You Simply All Powerful Or All Knowing?
How does Rarity afford all that fabric for her dresses?
I seriously just made an account for the purpose of asking this question. What is wrong with me?
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*Sips soda*
*Reads comment*
*Spit takes*
....Which episode are Discord’s supposed wife and son in?
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Star Trek: Voyager
(It's why I spelt it Disqord, not Discord, and mentioned Captains, as in Janeway and Picard)
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*Sighs in relief*
Oh, phew, Star Trek nerd stuff. Had me worried for a second.
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I am a Trekkie, a Brony, a Furry, a Whovian. I also grew up watching '80s & early '90s cartoons, PBS, Nickelodeon, and Disney Channel. As well as CBS, ABC, NBC, and UPN. And a good lot of Jeopardy! and other game shows.
It's why my cutie mark is a trivia book. ;)
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Any Kim Possible or House Of Mouse?
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Both of those were on Disney Channel back in the day. I was a teen when those were on the air. I was a kid when Wuzzles were on.
I still have my Eleroo plushie, somewhere (put away while sorting and cleaning)