Orange Penta
Technicolor lights flashed on as Discord walked onto the stage, an orange neon suit covering his form.
“Welcome one, welcome all, to the fifth episode of the most wondrifical show around, A Stupid Answer! I assume if you’ve stuck around this long, the author must be doing SOMETHING right.”
A voice from the rafters yelled, “HEY, I-“ It paused for a few moments. “Uh, never mind, thought that was more insulting. Proceed!”
Discord rolled his eyes.
“Anyway, I’m glad that the audience has enjoyed this little show so far! I can’t wait to get started, so without further ado, LET’S GI-”
“WHERE’S PINKIE?!” The audience collectively shouted, with Discord visibly flinching.
“Aheh, she’s currently busy cleaning up a little... Accident that happened in town. Nothing too tragic, and the show needed to go on, so I volunteered to come alone and answer as many questions as I could.”
At the skeptical stares of the audience, Discord sighed in exasperation.
“Look, I’m certain she’ll be here later, don’t worry. For now, shall I continue? *Ahem* Finally, LET’S GIVE A STUPID ANSWER!”
Meanwhile...
“I’m relevant!”
“I’m relevant!”
“I’m relevant!”
Pinkie nervously stared at Twilight’s increasingly frazzling mane as oranges flew out of nowhere from every direction, each arriving with the phrase ”I’m relevant!” being shouted out from nowhere and hitting a magic shield surrounding her.
“Y’see, this is why ‘ah grow apples, they never do stuff like this.” Applejack muttered, which elicited a giggle from Pinkie.
“The comics suggests otherwise.”
”I’m relevant!”
Discord pulled a translucent blue envelope out of the Mailmare bag, now sitting on a green easy chair. Tapping it a few times, it unfolded and expanded into a white piece of paper.
“A letter from ‘Lynx the Holo!’ ‘Dear Totally Not Q and Pinkie, has Twilight ever tired to bring technology from the human world into Equestria?’ Good question, Link! I could tell you of a few instances...”
”Wait, how did that explode? It wasn’t even combustible!”
“Okay, I understand getting clothing on the way in, but losing what’s in your pockets on the way back?!”
“...I’m not even gonna guess why that’s a teacup now.”
“...But that would be boring, so to make it simple, the portal really hates making the plot easy. It had to get payback SOMEHOW after Twilight hacked it.”
Taking out a discus, Discord slashed the letter in half, and it disintegrated into pixels that fell into a nearby trash can.
“Next!”
Discord pulled a horn on his head and his mouth shot open, depositing a purple envelope into his claws, which he quickly opened.
“Ah, quite the doozy from ‘Superfun.’ ‘Dear Discord, are you responsible for the mess that was the Netherlands suddenly airing every remaining episode of the series with no warning?’”
Discord just gave an innocent grin to the audience.
“What, moi? Give SPOILERS? My goodness, you didn’t pay attention! Here, let’s go back a bit.”
Pulling out a TV remote, his grin turned extra cheesy.
“It’s rewind time, everypony!”
Pressing a few buttons on it, a screen rose up from the floor on the back wall, and it staticked for a bit before clarifying into an image of Discord on the very same stage, Pinkie Pie next to him.
...“A letter from ‘Samurai.’ ‘Dear Discord and Pinkie pie, did you two ever tried to time travel to the future?’”
Pinkie sighed. “No, sadly. Too many spoilers.”
“Can you imagine what would happen if we found out the plot of gen five before it releases? We’d be written out to avoid spoiling stuff!”
“And I reeeeaaaally don’t want to not exist.”
“Quite right. Now, next part...”
Discord clicked the screen off. “See? Innocent! I’m not spoiling anything!”
With a careless wave of his talon, he dropped the letter into the nearby shredder.
“Next!”
Discord pulled a pink envelope out of the mail bag which had numerous blue hearts all over it. Promptly opening it, there’s was a blue letter with pink hearts inside it.
“A letter from ‘Princess Cadence’ and ‘Shining Armor!’ I didn’t even realize we were streaming it in the Crystal Empire... *Ahem* ‘Dear Pinkie Pie and Discord, who does Rainbow Dash have a crush on?’”
Discord got panicked eyes for a moment before quickly shoving the letter in the shredder, and shoving THAT into a much larger one.
“Sorry, Mi Amor Shining Cadence! Ship wars are not allowed here!”
He snapped his claws and the larger shredder melted into a puddle on the stage.
“Forward read!”
Discord pulled an envelope with a silver shadow out of the mail bag and promptly ope-
“CUT!”
Discord’s head snapped upward, surprised to see a red stop sign had descended from the ceiling.
“Frazzle?! What are you doing, I’m busy with the fan mail!”
“Look, I get it, you wanna be a solo host, but Pinkie is an integral part! Stop continuing this without her!”
Discord just gave the rafters a raised eyebrow.
“Oh, come now, we all know I’M the real star here.” He looked out to the audience, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face. “Am I right?!”
There were a few half hearted “Yay!”s from the crowd, the rest fixing him with a cold stare.
“...Yeah, they’re not buying it, Discord.”
Discord huffed, crossing his arms. “Fine, I’ll go get Pinkie! Keep them from getting bored, Frazzle!”
With a snap of his claws, Discord disappeared, leaving the audience to awkwardly mutter to each other.
“Sooooo.... Wanna hear my idea for a new five-book, multi-plot, crossover, human in Equestria story?”
There were a few shrugs and gestures for him to continue from the crowd, which Frazzle took as a good sign.
“Okay, so-“
”WE’RE BACK!!”
A flash of light appeared on stage, blinding everypony before solidifying into the orange suited forms of Pinkie Pie and Discord.
“...Know what, I’ll leave it as an unfulfilled dream.”
Discord sat back down on his easy chair, Pinkie sitting in an identical one to the left.
“Now we can continue!” Discord opened the white envelope, handing the silver letter inside to Pinkie. “Care to do the honors, Pinkie?”
“Eeeeeyup! This is a letter from ‘Silver Shadows the Hedgehog!’ ‘Dear Pinkie Pie and Discord (again), I love your show!’ Thanks for saying so, Silver! Continuing the letter... ‘Here are a few questions for you guys though. Discord, hypothetically speaking, if Fluttershy asked you out, would you go? Again, this is merely hypothetical.’”
Discord froze a little at that. “I, ah, well...” A light bulb went off above his head. “Oh, right, there was a whole episode based on that! So I don’t REALLY have to answer.” A small glare from Pinkie started him talking again. “...But, I guess I could tell you that, yes, I would go out with her.”
Pinkie continued glaring. “You better...” Her smile popped back onto her face. “Next part! ‘Also, Discord, why is there an app named Discord? Did you have something to do with it?’”
“Ah, yes, that bubbling stew of social networking was indeed a great, very chaotic creation, but, alas, it was made by another.”
“Your one time girlfriend from nineteen seventy-seven, right?”
“Shhh~! The audience doesn’t need to know that!”
“Okie dokie Loki!”
Discord just sighed in exasperation. “Is there a final question?”
“Yes there is! ‘Pinkie, how in EQUESTRIA are you able to tell Maud’s emotions? I SWEAR she keeps a straight face ALL THE TIME.’ Wait, you guys can’t tell when she’s happy or not? She has a HUUUUUGE smile!”
Discord gave an awkward cough. “Uh, right... Moving on!” He snatched the letter from her hooves. “‘Also, you and Discord should have a pranking contest. It would be interesting to hear about.’ Eh, been there, done that, watched the episode, got the life-lesson-T-shirt.”
Discord proceeded to shove the letter into a new shredder that had appeared between the two chairs.
“Next!”
Pinkie dug around in the bag for a bit before pulling out an envelope that looked like it had been folded closed very weirdly, and proceeded to open it.
“A letter from ‘The Socially Awkward Brony!’ ‘Dear Discord and Pinkie Pie, what’s your favorite board game?’”
Discord burst out laughing, hearing that, and Pinkie had a wistful smile on her face.
“Ahaha-ha, HAha~ha! Ohhhh, our favorite board game..? Why, it’s obvious, right?”
“Ah, the sweet gameplay, the wonderful atmosphere... The adventures... The romance...”
“It’s Ogres and Oubliettes! Discordian EditionTM, of course.”
“Can’t have enough of that game!”
“Well, it looks like it’s just about time to go! Thank you all so very much for coming!”
“And remember to leave a lot of letters asking about the mysteries of Equestria!”
“Leave a like, comment, subscribe, or flame the story at your discretion.”
“Until then, Sayanara!”
And the lights went out, and the room was dark.
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deer discrod an pinky,
dis is gud shoe but i hav kwestshon: how is fowly formd? how mair get pragnent?
tanks
krixwell, 6 and a haf yeers
9812406
Dear Discord and Pinkie, do grammatical mistakes make you mad?
Pinkie Pie, do you have any knowledge of your past generation's self?