4. - Promotion
“Lulu?” Celestia called out with a gentle tap on her sister’s bedroom door. “Are you in there? It’s time to lower the moon.”
She’s not being rebellious, Tia, she told herself with several calming breaths. Just relax. She just forgot, nothing more. You need to give her time to adjust.
No reply came from the interior, and Celestia knocked again, with a little more force and a faint flutter of suppressed fear somewhere deep inside. “Lu? I need you to get up and take care of the moon. You can go back to bed when you’re done.”
This statement brought out an unintelligible grunt, which was followed by an odd-sounding giggle. Celestia glanced up and down the hallway, then hesitantly put her ear to the door.
“Mm, you smell like strawberries coated in caramel sauce.” Luna’s voice was faint, mumbling, and beyond delighted. “I could just gobble you up.”
“Mister Bean,” Celestia whispered to herself as relief washed over her. She had forgotten that Luna had absconded with their unexpected husband after raising the moon last night. The concern over an encore performance from Nightmare Moon melted into amusement at the situation, and with a giggle of her own, Celestia gently nudged one of the double doors open.
The sight was quite remarkable. Lying in the middle of the room, and surrounded by a sizable number of empty wine bottles, Luna was asleep but emitting small gurgles of bliss as she nibbled upon the right ear of one Baked Bean. All four dark legs were wrapped around him in a way that reminded the elder sister of a venus flytrap that had snapped, and the expression on Bean’s face matched how any insect thus trapped might look. From what Celestia could see, Bean had pulled himself into the fetal position, and his eyes were wide open in bloodshot horror. To be honest, the stallion did not appear to be really afraid of the nibbling he had been subjected to over the long evening hours, but more how Celestia might react to him being 'shared' in this fashion. The daytime diarch considered his cute expression, trying to hold back her laughter and suspecting that it looked as if she were stifling a sneeze instead.
"Help?" asked Bean with considerable trepidation. “She’s been trying to gobble my backside all night long.”
“She’s working on the wrong end,” Celestia replied with a smirk.
“Please!” he whispered, lowering his voice as Luna's ears twitched in his direction. “I don’t want to be here when she wakes up! After that much wine, she’s going to have a hangover the size of Mount Canter!”
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that.” Celestia scoffed and waved a dismissive hoof at him. “From the looks of it, she actually restrained herself. However, I do need to raise the sun, so...”
Celestia pushed the door open, walked across the room, and stopped by the head of her sister. With a sly grin, Celestia then kicked off one of her shoes, stuck the tip of her hoof in her own mouth for a brief moment, and then inserted the dripping appendage into Luna’s exposed ear.
“CELESTIA!” Luna bolted upright, and her magic hauled Bean into the air between them to prevent any more sneaky sisterly attacks. One hoof rubbed the wet part of her ear, and the younger sister groaned in disgust as she did so. “Thou knowest I hate that!”
“You should get up on time, then. I need you to lower the moon.”
“Why did I come back, again?” Luna grumbled. Bean had not made the most of his brief freedom to dash for the door, which left Luna able to sweep forward and tuck him under one wing. With a yawn, she stumbled onto the balcony that was attached to her room, smacked her lips, and glanced upwards. “Oh, right. That whole endless night, sworn vengeance against my sister, and relief from the crushing loneliness thing.”
The moon was lowered with droopy eyes and another deep yawn, and once it was tucked away, Luna pulled her teddy Bean out from under her wing with her magic and rubbed his nose with her own. “And now, dear husband, we shall continue what we started last night. You will need much practice if you ever hope to please all three of us.”
“What? All three of you?” Bean stammered as the color drained from his coat. “That’s not all at once, right?”
“Tia, the next time I force a husband upon us while in the grip of dark powers, please remind me to pick one with a heartier constitution,” Luna murmured as she stumbled back towards her room. “While this one is fun, he protests too much and has no stamina at all.”
“Princess Celestia! Help!” Bean begged, although he did not appear to be struggling.
“Sorry, Mister Bean, you’re on your own for this,” the Princess replied. “You need to work out your relationship with my sister sooner or later. I’ll see you both at lunch.”
* * ❤ * *
“You certainly know how to show a girl a good time, Lieutenant,” Cadence whispered into Shining Armor’s ear with several layers of undertone. “I may just have to cancel my appointments for today and ask for more.”
“Hey, I’m all for the idea,” Shining whispered back as he gently shut the door to her private chambers. “But I think your husband might be a bit upset with us if you do.”
The phrase ‘a bucket of ice water on the mood’ covered what happened quite nicely, and Cadence snorted. “I hate this. I feel like I’m being punished for something I didn’t do, and I have to pretend I’m happy about the situation on top of it.”
“Is there absolutely no way to get out of this thing?” Shining asked. “No loopholes at all?”
“Auntie Celestia says it’s ironclad, but I’m going to see for myself.” Cadence then quickly stepped in front of her loyal guard, and his concerned love reflected back to him in her eyes as they both stopped. “Shiny, even if there really is no way out, you need to know that Baked Bean will never be able to take your place in my heart, not in a thousand years. He might be my husband on a technicality, but you are the one who has my affections. That is something no convoluted law will ever be able to take away from me, or from you.”
“Even if he brings you chocolate-dipped roses?” Shining asked.
“He could bring me every food under the sun and moon, and it will never be enough.” Cadence kissed his cheek, then tickled the hairs of his ear with her whispered words. “My every thought shall be of you and you alone, Lieutenant Armor. You are the only one who could ever satisfy the hunger which burns inside me.”
The passionate kiss she planted on his lips burned away any lingering doubts the young guard might have held, and it took him a moment to remember how to breathe after she finally released him from her thrall.
“I will see you later, Shiny,” Cadence added with a teasing flick of her tail. The stoic guard did not respond to this, or to her slow wink when she reached the next hallway, but a smile began to appear when he caught the last kiss that she blew him.
He held that kiss in his hooves for several long moments. He studied it carefully, evaluated it with all of the intensity that his younger sister gave to any of her research projects. He wanted to understand it fully, to know every nuance, every line, every detail that it contained.
His smile grew as he saw all of Cadence’s love for him contained in that kiss, and he gently pressed it to his own lips with a stuttering gasp of delight. There was no possible way to refute her words to him; and he knew that she would not let him go for all of the treasure in all the world. He was hers, and she was his. No ancient law or Baked Bean would ever be able to change that, not in a hundred thousand years of trying.
With that happy thought and a fresh surge of determination to show his Cady how much he loved her, he marched himself to the barracks to begin his day.
* * 🛡 * *
“Lieutenant Armor.”
“Captain Daisy Chain, ma’am!” Shining’s salute was crisp, swift, and perfectly precise.
“My office. Now.”
Shining fell in behind his commanding officer, curious and a bit nervous over the sudden summons. He prided himself on being a model soldier, and off the top of his head, he couldn’t think of anything he had done wrong.
Unless she wanted to speak to him about what had happened the previous night. His jaw tightened as he imagined what rebuke she might issue to him because of his threats towards the new prince, or what she might say about him spending the night with Cadence, but he was not going to apologize for either. He had every right to be mad about Baked Bean stealing his mare, and his private life had only enhanced his abilities as a guard.
His mind buzzed with possibilities but he said nothing as they both strode into the Captain’s office. The medals of honor and commendations that lined the walls had always come across as tacky and ostentatious, but he kept his opinion to himself as he came to attention in front of the Captain’s desk. When the time came for this office to be his own, he would keep the adornments simple and tasteful. A few of his favorite military strategy books, a photo or two of his parents, Twilight, and Cadence, and definitely some new drapes for the windows. That shade of green had no right to exist, let alone to stain a fine fabric like that.
“At ease, Lieutenant,” Captain Daisy Chain offered as she groaned into her chair. “Have a seat.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” Shining sat while Daisy pulled a stack of papers from a desk drawer.
“Lieutenant, I’ll get right to the point. Except for three obvious exceptions, what I am about to tell you does not leave this room, understand?” Daisy said with a hard gaze emphasizing her tone.
“Yes ma’am,” Shining said with a nod.
“Good. After careful consideration, I have decided to resign my commission effective in ninety days.”
“Resign, ma’am?”
“I’m going to retire, Lieutenant. There’s a beach down in St. Neighvis with my name on it, and I plan on occupying it for a very long time.
“Naturally, this means that there will be an opening for Captain of the Guard, and I have already submitted your name for the position. Princess Celestia is reviewing your credentials, but you and I both know it’s a foregone conclusion. Congratulations on your promotion, Captain Armor. You’ve earned it.”
The rush of excitement nearly overwhelmed his stoic composure, but Shining managed to maintain a straight face while inwardly cheering. A lifetime of hopes, dreams, and hard work had suddenly come to fruition, and far sooner than he had ever expected.
“Thank you, ma’am.” Shining replied evenly while inwardly doing a double backflip. “I greatly appreciate this, and I shall attempt to uphold the traditions and honor of the Royal Guard in the same fashion.”
“Stow the praise, Shining,” Daisy said with a grin. “You already got the job.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Now, Princess Celestia is going to announce the change in command next week. For now, carry on as assigned, and once the news is released, you and I will work with the Princesses to ensure a smooth transfer. Any questions?”
Shining Armor nearly said that he had none, but one managed to shout out above his internal party and to stymie his glee. “Captain, why are you retiring now, ma’am? You’ve only been in the position for a year or so.”
“Let’s just say I was given a rather enticing incentive to do so,” Daisy said with a chuckle. “Besides, I’ve given the best years of my life to the Royal Guard. I don’t regret one moment of it, but I would like to have some ‘me’ time. A shakeup at the top would be good for morale, too. I know I haven’t been the easiest commanding officer to get along with. The guards like you, and they’ll follow you to the ends of Equestria and back again.” Daisy’s gaze went distant, and a wistful smile crept onto her face. “Yes, this is for the best. For everypony.”
She then shook herself back into the present with a snort. “You’re to report back here at nineteen hundred hours to meet with Princess Celestia. She’ll discuss her expectations, and you’ll be able to ask her any questions at that time as well.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. You’re dismissed.”
Shining stood, saluted, and moved to leave.
“Oh, and Lieutenant?” Captain Daisy Chain called out while looking over the first page from her stack. “This should go without saying, but you will be responsible for the new prince, too. It would be a shame if your personal feelings were to somehow interfere with your promotion.”
Shining shook his head. “That won’t be a problem, ma’am. My private feelings will remain as such during his time here.”
“Even though he stole your marefriend?” Daisy asked. “Envy and Vengeance are terrible bedmates, Lieutenant. It’s not very hard to imagine that you would want something… unfortunate to happen to him. It would allow you to reclaim what is rightfully yours, after all.”
Daisy’s eyes flicked up to meet his, and the hard glint that they held knocked him off balance for a moment. “No, ma’am. I can see why that is a concern, but I am a Royal Guard. My allegiance has, and will forevermore, be to the Princesses and the Kingdom of Equestria. If Prince Bean is to remain, then he will receive the same treatment that I would give to Celestia herself.”
“And not just Celestia,” Daisy added. “With Luna’s return, the Kingdom of Equestria is a diarchy once more, and I hope you treat it as such.”
“Of course, ma’am. Princess Luna will be given the same veneration and devotion that Princess Celestia has always enjoyed.”
“Very well. Just remember that you will be watched closely in your new position, and it will be quite disappointing if you should not live up to your carefully cultivated reputation. That is all.”
Shining saluted again, strode out of the barracks, and pumped a hoof in the air in jubilation. Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guard of Equestria! In one way or another, he had dreamed of becoming the Captain ever since he was a little colt playing pretend with his friends on the kindergarten playground. There was so much to do, and he couldn’t wait to get started. He would be able to going to tell his parents as soon as it was official, with a letter to Twilight via Spike at the same time, and Cadence…
A sour note rang out above the symphony in his soul, but he immediately drowned it out with a blaring blast of joy. Despite her current marital status, she would be overjoyed with this new development, and the two of them were going to celebrate tonight, no matter what.
“Lieutenant?” Luna’s voice intruded on his celebration. He snapped to attention and saluted, grateful for the years of training that made the action automatic.
“Yes, Your Highness?” he offered in his most official voice. “How may I help you?”
Luna did not reply. Instead, she began to circle him with a critical and predatory eye, and Shining could hear a little lifeguard in his head, screaming about sharks. Hungry sharks with sharp teeth.
Once she had completed a full lap around him, she puckered her lips slightly and clicked her tongue. “We see why Princess Cadence was so taken with you. Of a truth, had We not interfered with the natural order of selection, you would have made for a fine mate.”
“Mate, ma’am?” Shining said with a hard swallow.
“Yes, Lieutenant. You know that to marry one alicorn is to marry them all, so your union to Our niece would have been ideal. You appear to be young and strong, of a hearty constitution and healthy vigor. Unlike Our present helpmate, We daresay that you would be able to fulfill the physical needs of all three alicorns with energy to spare, should our present husband falter.”
A jumble of thoughts crashed together in the front of Shining Armor’s mind, although thankfully only one managed to fight loose and lurch for freedom. “Physical needs?”
Shining was cut off by Luna’s dark magic prying his mouth open while she peered inside. “Hm. Straight teeth, but you could stand to floss better. A detail that could have been corrected with some minor persuasions.”
“’err ‘oosians, ’aam?” Shining Armor let his mouth close when Luna released his jaw, although he swore he could still feel a cool breeze circulating into his ears and through his head.
“That reminds me, I need to find my Paddle of Persuasion,” Luna muttered as she leaned to her right and glanced over his left side. “Good body length, with proper musculature and balanced bone structure, too. You appear to be very well endowed, Lieutenant.”
Shining’s short-cropped tail clamped down over his rear the best it could, and he coughed nervously. “Uh, thank you?”
Luna nodded. “Indeed, it is a shame that We have forced your fiance into a loveless marriage. We can only hope that you will forgive Us for our grave transgression, in time, and that we may come to an arrangement more pleasant for all parties involved.”
“Well, to be honest, Cadence wasn’t my fiance. She was just my marefriend.”
Luna retreated a step. “You mean to tell Us that Princess Cadence was not your betrothed?”
“No. Er, not yet, at least.”
“There is something gravely wrong with this modern generation,” Luna muttered in frustration. “Why, praytell, did you hesitate to plight thy troth with Our niece?”
“I was, um…” he trailed off, his mind unable to come up with a reasonable reason other than troths probably needed a lot of planning before plighting. “I was just waiting for the right time, I guess.”
“The right time.” Luna blinked once, then snorted as her gaze went to her hooves. “Stars above, first Baked Bean tells Us that he wants to move slowly in Our relationship with him, and now We are told that ponies wait for some mythical, favorable ‘time’ to express their desires. This modern world will be the end of Us. Passions should be acted upon with haste, striking while the iron is hot and the blood boiling with desire. Such foundations laid in sweat and lust make firm support for later years when foals begin to intrude on a relationship, and time for love is found only in smaller fractions.”
Shining wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He did know that his heart deeply ached when he saw the frustrated tears in the corners of the Princess’ eyes, but she banished them with a casual flick of her hoof and another snort.
“Bah. Lieutenant, We have sought you out to discuss a matter of great import. My sister, Princess Celestia, tells Us that We must speak with you regarding the royal guards who will be assigned to protect Us from this point forward.”
Shining stood a bit straighter, and he smiled. He might not be able to help the newly returned Princess with the modern mess that was Equestria, but he knew everything there was to know about guards and guarding, both inside and out. And this was a topic he was more than happy to turn the conversation into. “Of course, Your Highness. I would be pleased to discuss anything you like about your guards.”
“Good. Praytell, who did you have in mind to provide protection to Our royal self?”
“Well, I have a dozen or so ponies that I could name right off,” he replied, and he rubbed his chin in thought. “It would be best to keep a balance of earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns for excursions, but while you are within the palace, we could cut back to just the Household Regiment.”
Luna shook her head. “No, Lieutenant. While We are sure that the current complement of soldiers is competent and beyond reproach, the night has many unique circumstances that cannot be adequately covered by your day guards.”
Shining bristled at her insinuation, and his tail lashed at his haunches. “Princess, I can assure you that the Royal Guard is more than capable of performing their duties, day or night. I trust every last one of them with my life, at any time and in any place.”
“And that is most admirable, Lieutenant,” Luna said flatly, her own annoyance showing in her face. “As We said, We do not doubt the capabilities of your fellows. But for example, do any in your present company possess the capacity to have the night illuminated to their eyes as if it was day?”
“Of course we do. All unicorns are taught a focused illumination spell during their basic training.”
“But without that spell they would be blind, would they not?” she countered. “The spell would also give away their position to any potential enemies, true?”
“Yes, but that’s the idea. No pony in their right mind is going to attempt an attack when they can see how well guarded we are.”
“In Our experience, there are many ponies and other creatures of the night who are not in their right mind,” Luna said. “A show of force should not be your only line of defense, Lieutenant. Unless you have one guard for one square foot of the palace, there will be gaps that can be exploited. Our night has always proven to be the greatest ally to those who wish to have their nefarious deeds concealed by Our darkness.”
“All right,” Shining huffed. “So what do you recommend? Is there some sort of see-in-the-dark spell that I’m not aware of?”
Luna’s grin was positively predatory, and Shining swallowed hard as he realized how the Princess had gotten him to take her bait. “No, Lieutenant. While such a spell does exist, We have an alternative option, one that will not require Our guards to learn such a taxing option.”
* * ✹ * *
“Ah, Lieutenant,” Celestia cheerfully greeted Shining Armor, and she motioned with one hoof to the interior of Captain Daisy Chain’s office. “Please, come in. I’ve been expecting you.”
“Thank you, Your Highness.” Shining’s thoughts were clipped and filled with confusion at the sight of his Divine Sovereign—well, one of them—in the office he was about to inherit, but he kept his demeanor impassive as he moved in and came to attention.
“At ease, Shining,” Celestia said as she moved behind the desk and sat down in his future chair, which groaned and creaked, but remained intact. “Please, have a seat. You and I have much to discuss, informally. Would you care for some tea?”
“No, thank you,” Shining replied as Celestia’s magic began to prepare a cup for herself without any apparent effort, not even a passing glance at the dance of saucers, strainer and cups.
“Very well. I have been told that you have met with my sister and discussed her plans to reinstate her night guards. I am of the opinion that the sooner the office is reestablished, the better. Do you have any questions regarding her proposition?”
“With all due respect, Your Highness, your sister is trying to send me on a snipe hunt.”
“Oh?”
“Thestrals!” Shining’s words burst out at the opportunity to be expressed. “Princess Luna wants me to find thestrals for the royal guard!”
“Why is this a problem, Lieutenant?” Celestia asked in a serious tone.
“They don’t exist! They’re just an old myth! I might as well be looking for kirin while I’m at it!” The absurdity of Luna’s request forced him to his hooves, and he began to pace in front of the desk that was soon to be his. “She insists there are some enclaves deep in the Everfree Forest, and wants me to bring them back to serve as her personal night guards.”
“She is right, you know.” Celestia’s magic gently lifted the steaming teapot and filled the empty teacup with her preferred Deerjeeling blend.
Shining wanted to argue the absurdity of such a notion, but the gleam in Celestia’s eye made him pause. “Wait. Are you telling me they’re real?”
Celestia nodded as she slowly poured a few drops of milk into her tea. “They are very real, though their numbers have greatly diminished over the past few centuries. The enclave that Luna has told you about is all that remains of them.”
“Batponies are real.” Shining slumped into the seat he had vacated with a sharp exhale. “Why hasn’t anypony seen or heard from them, except in rumors?”
Celestia swiftly added two lumps of sugar, and a spoon appeared to stir her concoction. “That is a long story, and it would probably be best if Luna explained the particulars. For now, I will say that thestrals were once an honored and dedicated division of our military forces, but they were forced into hiding because of Nightmare Moon. You will find them to be quite capable, with a little training. When are you scheduled to depart?”
“Tomorrow evening. Luna thinks the thestrals may still harbor some memories of Nightmare Moon, so she wants Baked Bean and myself to be the ones to invite them back.”
“Good. Our husband will be able to act in Luna’s name, although you will officially be in charge of the mission. It will be an excellent start to your position, and show all the nattering nitwits at court that their foolish objections are rubbish. You have my full confidence, Captain Shining Armor.”
Shining inhaled deeply. Celestia’s words had emboldened him, and a smug grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Thank you, Princess. I won’t let you down.”
Celestia nodded. “Since you mentioned him, I would like to discuss the details regarding Baked Bean. I would first like to offer my most sincere apologies for this whole dilemma, and I greatly regret the exquisite agony this has put you through. I may not be able to reverse the damage that I have caused, but I will do everything in my power to make what amends I can.”
Shining Armor could feel the weight of sincerity in Celestia’s words, and he shook his head. “No apology is needed, Your Highness. This whole thing is just one big knot of confusion, and I don’t think we can really blame any single pony for what happened.”
“My apology remains all the same, but thank you. I will also do whatever I can to help you and my niece remain together. Your relationship… meets with Our approval, provided Luna and I can find some way to make it legal. Time will tell. I’m afraid this may take quite some time to work out, and I hope you do not become frustrated in the meanwhile.
“Now, about Baked Bean. While I anticipate most of his time will be spent here, there will be times when I will ask him to accompany me on official business. Who would you recommend for his security detail?”
Shining rubbed his chin in thought. “I can think of a couple of names right off the top of my head. Sergeants Hokey Pokey and Clover Leaf would be excellent choices, if I had to throw two at him right now. I’ll get a list together for you to look over.”
Celestia nodded. “No need to ask for my approval, Shining. Place them on Baked Bean’s guard detail immediately, and see about filling out the roster when you get back. The Everfree Forest is still a wild and dangerous place, although we don’t want to send too large of a force for fear of it looking like an invasion of the few remaining thestral areas. Two guards will balance out your group just fine.”
“Don’t be concerned, Your Highness,” said Shining Armor. “Your husband will be perfectly safe with us, and I’m confident we’ll be able to talk Princess Luna’s lost ponies into returning. Nothing will go wrong.”
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"Nothing will go wrong..."
YOU ABSOLUTE MORON
Pinkie Pie: OOOOOOH! He said the Forbidden Words!
Princess Celestia: How did you get in here miss Pi- And she's gone?
9776479
Dun dun DUNNNNN!
Oh damn it man, you DO NOT say those words! Now the pony version of Murphy is gonna probe you with the stick of Fate!
On a side note, why are they all worried about this law? From what I understand it doesn't prevent the Alicorns from having a concubine or SECOND husband! Just states that the one who bopped the nose Had the marry them within a certain time, yes?
9776479
*Murphy entered the story*
Next month (or two) on Harem Noses! Something absolutely goes wrong!
Great choice of last words.
The Everfree Forest, huh? I'd expect them to be living in a few caves in some mountains somewhere around Equestria.
And then Bean found the kitchens.
Shining Armor just signed his own death warrant.
"Nothing could go wrong!"
I know she did that on purpose...
You just doomed yourself!
9776602
No signed Baked Bean's injury slips or someone else's. He's got plot armor on.
9776528
Ummm this story follows a sort of different rule set with the alicorn marriage set-up.
Is he trying to kill of his competitor by tempting fate? Because, you know, if Prince has been eaten by hydra during diplomatic mission it is certainly not his fault.
9776667
Rules? What rules? There are no rules to this stupid marriage. With that reasoning Discord married the Schmooze by bringing it to the Gala.
No Nose at least had Luna officiate a private wedding between Celestia and Bean, WITH FREAKING WITNESSES!!!! Raven and a male guy, name slips my mind at the moment, and some guards, IIRC.
No such thing happens here, thus the "marriage" should be null and void. Timberwolves don't count.
Everything is going to go wrong.
9776723
Something NMM did when Bean encountered her at the beginning. Some sort of marriage law that could be invoked.
One without a loophole like in No Noes..so get the fuck over yourselves.
9776762
Actually NMM bound herself with magical oath. Which of course carries absolutely no obligations for Cadance and Celestia. If Cadance really wants she could just refuse to marry Bean and there are absolutely no way for Celestia or Luna to force her into marriage. Well unless they want to cause country wide riots/civil war.
9776770
It binds all of the princesses hence the name of this story.
9776822
As far as I understand only Luna bound by magical oath. Simply because she have not included anyone else in the phrasing of oath. So Celestia and Cadance obligated by ancient law not by magic. And if there are no repercussions for breaking that law Cadance could say "Make me" at any time and Celestia would be powerless to do anything about that. Even if there are repercussions Celestia still can't force Cadance into marriage without loosing her face and getting a lot of problems ex nihilo.
9776844
God dammit have you been reading this fic?! Celestia explained this all in chapter two.
9776865
And have you read it? Because Celestia explained law that binds them. Unbreakable law, undoing which for some reason should undo Equestria. Also she mentioned magical oath that binds Luna. It was never stated that other princesses are bound by their oath. Nightmare used "I" when she bound herself.
I don't unterstand why this is so complicated as if there weren't rulers who married but never even had a child with their rightful queen. As if Bean wouldn't be okay with ignoring Cadance.
That was Luna’s apology? What is she, a sociopath? Why did Celestia tell Cadance to walk on eggshells around her when she apparently barely cares that she’s ruined Shining’s entire life? Why is Celestia so apathetic as well, why are they acting like Shining losing the love of his life is some silly little thing that doesn’t matter? Why does only Shining get put through such a tough time? He has literally had the most important person in the entire world taken from him, been denied the chance to marry the Mare he loves so much his love for her made Chrysalis stronger than Celestia, and Luna and Celestia act like it’s just some tiny thing they’ll say ‘lol, sorry, anyway, back to work,’ and offer basically 0 compassion or comfort to.
Do you just really hate Shining Armour so you want to make a fanfiction in which he gets cucked by your OC and the Primcesses just kinda treat it as some silly little thing he should get over after a day?
Man I feel bad for Shining Armor, his life is just hell and Celestia and Luna barely seem to even care.
I'm not sure its wise to just leave Bean alone with Luna right now. She seems to lack restraint, not to mention tact, and he doesn't look like he is fairing that well.
On a second note: I think that the story would benefit if the pace was slowed down so that we could get a closer looking into the character's heads and inner thoughts. We got more from Shining Armor this chapter, but even there I think a deeper dive would be good. Shining's upset about the situation and excited about his promotion, but there have to be more nuances to it.
We have surface reactions but we need greater introspection.
Nothing will go wrong.” Duck and cover!!!!!
theres tempting fate.
and then theres insulting fates momma and dareing it to 1v1 you....guess which one this is
A promotion? Wow! I think it's self-evident I was not expecting this, quite the opposite in fact. This is truly peculiar and interesting. I must admit I find Shining suddenly being promoted now a little unwise on behalf of the Princesses personally; Luna has every reason to want to keep him away from Bean and based on this chapter doesn't feel she owes him anything by way of apology, and even Celestia and Cadance one would think would out of compassion not want to, a day after he loses his Marefriend, saddle him with more contact with the Stallion who cuckolded him. Honestly I would think that considering the enormous emotional stress he has just endured, is still enduring really, that it would have made sense to at least have him psychologically evaluated to determine if he's fit for the position or not.
But what is a story without surprises, eh?
I won't deny that Shining suddenly being promoted seems like a bad in-universe choice to me, in-universe I still feel banishment is the most compassionate route to take with him, but I have faith in your abilities as a writer so we will see where this goes.
One thing I am noticing though; it is no secret that there are a number of readers who feel the story is harsh on Shining and singles him out to treat poorly. I think at least maybe part of the reason for this is a sort of tonal whiplash. To be clear this story is primarily comedic and light-hearted in tone, doesn't take itself to seriously and plays with the idea of Bean stumbling into an Alicorn harem as funny first and foremost, but, at the same time, it's dealing with the very emotionally heavy topic of a deep, mutual, loving relationship being broken up. So it can feel jarring. Particularly when we have scenes like Cadance making a joke about Shining being a concubine, or Luna talking about Bean bedding Cadance with no regard for Shining and then even Luna's own apology to Shining being very half-hearted and instantly moving into another joke rather than Shining actually confronting his feelings at all. The result is that it's easy to see Shining's pain and situation as being treated as serious...but then also being played for laughs, as if it is a light-hearted, hilarious, fact that he has lost his beloved. I think, and can imagine, that for many this tonal whiplash can feel like it has an overall effect of belittling Shining's emotional value in the story and basically reducing him to someone whose suffering we're meant to find funny. For those who don't find Schadenfreude funny, or who like the character or pairing, this feels mean-spirited. What the solution should be I do not know, but thought that I should just make my observation in case it helps at all!
If it isn't to bold of me I do have one piece of advice I would like to offer up though; I think the story would very much benefit from Shining having a confidant, a sympathetic ear, to engage with who isn't part of the Bean Wife Club. At current Shining feels very isolated and like an outsider in his own character arc, his primary interactions are all with characters who we already know are more closely connected to Bean than they are to him and place a higher value on Bean than they do on Shining. This can make it seem as if Shining is being emotionally cut-off, stunted, because everyone he engages with already favours Bean to him and thus he has no-one to actually sympathize with the situation he's in. You can see it in how his only people to discuss the topic with, Luna and Celestia, never give Shining a chance to actually express his own feelings. Both simply talk over him while Shining in Luna's situation doesn't even contemplate his own situation and instead jumps straight to feeling bad for Luna, Luna who doesn't seem to really feel bad for what she did to Shining. This can make it seem like the Princesses are rather callous to Shining, but also just makes it seem like Shining is bottling up his emotions because there is no-one he can talk to who isn't already on Team Bean.
Introducing someone who isn't Bean's wife, or closer connected to Bean than they are to Shining, for him to actually speak to, to actually provide some sort of sympathy and stop Shining feeling like something of an outsider who's forced to bottle up his emotions and recieves little sympathy, I think would help the story resolve somewhat the feeling many have that consistently Shining is neglected by the principal cast.
Other than that the quality is high as always and the humour bawdy and good, though I understand if people find the off-hand remark by Luna of Bean bedding Cadance as in poor taste. I do wonder how this story will develop, in the other Bean stories there is a clear status quo which can be settled into but, in this one, as the issue of Shining wanting to marry Cadance want just disappear, and it's hard to imagine Shining every just accepting having to play second fiddle to Bean, it's harder to see how this story will settle into a status quo. Looking forwards to what you do with it.
(Apologies for the mega long comment, I thought I might add ome of my own insights and seem to have run overboard)
I see a lot of people upset with Shining's situation and I can see where they're coming from but wanted to say as a reader with the expectation that this is meant to be more of a comedy, a fun romp if you will, than another of the more emotionally heavy stories out there, I found no fault in the writing and got a good laugh out of it all. If you want it to be more serious then it might be worth making adjustments to the writing to reflect that with what people have mentioned, but if the tone is meant to be lighter with less tragic leanings, perhaps a short note to the readership pointing that out would help with the expectations portion of all this.
Either way, thanks for writing and sharing this! Looking forward to how "wrong" things will end up in the Everfree, possibly with poison joke involved...
SOMEpony invoked Murphy...
I know it is part of the story, but the bit with the whole 'star-crossed lover' thing with shining and cadence, I hope gets sorted out soon. Either have some level of acceptance with separation, magical mcguffin fix where they can be together, or just herd. Just do something. The whole thing just feels wishywashy to me when it is left in limbo, so to speak, and nothing is resolved one way or another.
Rule 1: don’t say ‘nothing will go wrong’ because then SOMETHING will go wrong.
Rule 2: don’t say ‘nothing will go wrong’ when going to PONYVILLE! That town is chaotic enough without Murphy
Okay wow, I didn't expect what I said to spark a Argument. I didn't want that!
I was merely saying that there is no rule preventing Shining being added to the "Herd" unofficially, in all honesty they are all panicking and not thinking right if I am honest.
In a way, this is a save for shining, he’d presumably have to marry his own sister when she becomes an alicorn
The Crystal Empire can't return soon enough!
It's so amusing for Luna to openly check Shining out in public.
Keep going! ;)
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I don’t think losing the ability to marry the love of his life is a save in anyway. Cady is the most important thing in Shining to him in the world, their love and marriage to each other is literally one of their defining traits, to lose her like this and never be able to marry her...Shining must be incredibly depressed, he’s lost the most important person in his entire life and nobody seems to really care.
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Hence “In a way”
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Not really. Sure they can not marry now. But if Crystal Empire returns and Cadance becomes it's Princess she will get enough wiggle room to annul her marriage to Bean, pretend that marriage never happened, send to crystal mines anyone who says otherwise and marry anyone she damn pleases.
Bean apparently got over the fact that one of these Princesses was in a loving, committed, mutual relationship literally a day ago very fast. Guess he doesn't think the feelings of Shining matter much compared to snagging some Princess tail for himself.
Yeah Cadance now imagine how it feels for, oh, I don't know, your Coltfriend who is literally being told he can't marry you anymore and that you now belong to some random stranger he has to serve. Don't you think he hates it to? Maybe try to put yourself in his shoes and, oh, sorry, I forgot, only Bean and Luna deserve empathy, Shining isn't important enough for that.
Also I do love how Equestria's very own Princess of Love is setting such a bad example. Cadance is meant to be the one to give advice about love, to be the role model for it, to guide Ponies about love, and here she is saying that if you are in an unhappy relationship you never consented to you shouldn't get out of it, shouldn't be honest about your feelings, you should instead fake being happy. Like telling someone in an abusive relationship that rather than trying to find their own love and follow their feelings they should just shut up, smile, and pretend to be happy.
That's Luna's apology? Does she even care? Yeesh she's a heartless monster. She's ruined Shining's entire life, taken from him his most precious thing, and her apology is to nod and just say 'forgive me eventually, kay' Why is Luna being written like such a monster to Shining?
Don't feel sorry for her! She isn't feeling sorry for you and your the one who's entire life just got screwed. Yeesh how is it that despite Shining being the victim here this conversation became about how pitiable Luna is and not her making up for getting Shining cucked?
I gotta ask, for the people in the comments saying this needs to be made 'more light-hearted'. How do you make Shining having his relationship with Cadance broken up light-hearted? Like...this isn't a funny topic, or a light-hearted theme, you can't just make it a joke cause it's literally Shining's love being absolutely trashed here.
And as for dodging a bullet with Twilight; I cannot even imagine Celestia would, in this setting, ever make Twilight a Princess since she knows it and there's no way in hell Twilight would accept being a Princess now. Damn this fic hates Shining Armor.
I'll have to reread the story to check this but what if Celestia just made polygamy legal for alicorns only? Cap the total herd at one non-alicorn spouse per alicorn.
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was it established that they can't get a divorce? like in the first story that celestia and bean considered?
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It is established that Equestrian Royalty can't get divorce. Key word here is "Equestrian". If Cadance becomes ruler of Crystal Empire she can pass any law she pleases.
I'm a little worried about Bean's safety on this "mission". Did Shining assign some incompetent guards to Mr. Bean? I wouldn't be surprised given the way Luna just talked down about Bean and saying how much Shining would make a better husband. I'm disappointed in her about that as well. I really hope I'm wrong. I'm not normally this pessimistic. I blame some depressing stories I was recently reminded of. I look forward to reading the next chapter come what may.
Wow. Armor has decided his life doesn’t suck enough as yet. Such masochism is impressive.
Guys it’s an alt-universe comedy, not a super serious drama/romance novel. Just because worst pony can’t marry his lady friend right away doesn’t mean his life is over. They basically got the OK to continue dating privately until a fix is found anyways, do we really need to see him mope and smash furniture to get over it?
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Well, those 2 guards are very competent in the other stories. But i don't blame you for being pessimistic
Shiny, why do you tempt fate? Especially in a world where metaphysical concepts can have sapient avatars?
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Because it is a serious issue. Cadance is the love of Shining's life, the most important person to him in the entire world. He absolutely loves her, their love is one of their most defining features. He's not only now being prevented from marrying her he's being forced to lose her to Bean, she's married to Bean already.
I'm sorry but it is a serious topic. Shining has had his love taken from him, he can never marry her, and she'll always be married to Bean, not him. This is a really depressing thing. If I just one day suddenly woke up and was told I can never marry the person I love and am in a relationship with, and that they're married to someone else, it would be heart breaking and depressing. I don't think almost anyone would think it something funny happening to them.
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To be fair to Shiny at this stage he probably assumes there isn't much worse life can do to him since it's already taken the thing he cares for most from him. Life seems to hate Shiny.