The New Substitutes

by Chemtest

Teacher Appreciation Week

Discord clicks his phone up, and smiles over at Twilight, “Well, Twilight, looks like we’ve got some helpers!” He flips open a random watch, then throws it behind him, “They’ll be here in a while.”

Twilight squirms in her chair, still uncomfortable in the odd skin, “What is the plan?”

Discord shakes his finger, “Now, now, Twilight. That’d spoil the surprise!”

She sighs, and looks over her human body, “So, if I walked through the portal and got these clothes, how’d you get those rags?”

Discord looks at himself, “Rags? My, my, Twilight, there are many who would kill to wear such as this. The coat of a King, the shorts of Lord Baden Powell, and the oldest t-shirt in existence? Surely you don’t think those are merely ‘rags’, right? I had to become a knight to get this coat!”

She smirks, “I have a hard time seeing you as a knight, Discord.”

Discord shakes his head, “Ah, then your imagination is severely limited, dear Twilight. I’ll have you know that I have been in honorable service of the British Empire for three hundred years.” He smirks, “Sorry if I don’t seem like the perfect example of a knight in Shining Armor.” He shrugs, “His body wouldn’t fit me anyway.”

Spike leaps on top of the table, “Seemed like you quite liked his skin when you stole his magic.”

Discord shakes his hand, “No, no, that is all wrong! Tirek did that, I was just a victim of not seeing what mattered. What still matters.” He sighs, and takes out a silver fob watch, and flicks it open, “Ah, they should be here!”

Twilight gets ready to see Discord’s helpers, only for absolute silence to fill the room.

Discord stops, and pulls his sleeve back. He looks at the crayon-drawn watch on his arm, and looks back at the fob watch. He taps his arm watch for a bit, “Well, I guess the fob was a bit off.” He closes the watch, and throws it behind him, “Didn’t need to summon a time lord anyway.” He smiles and turns to Twilight, “Alright, they should be here. Right... around... now!”

As he shouts ‘now’, the door opens. Sombra walks in behind the rest of them, coated in oil, and with cloth strapped to his back. Discord looks at him with an unasked question, and he shrugs, “Apprently the video lied about buses being metal monsters that needed to be slain.”

Discord motions on, “And the cloth?”

Sombra looks to his back, and quickly sheds the cloth, “Apparently the bus didn’t fly into the air above a battlefield either. I thought I would come prepared.”

Discord shakes his head, “Remind me to make it so you can’t watch gaming videos or conspiracies until you learn how to tell fact from fiction.”

Spike quips from behind him, “As if you’re one to talk about telling fact from fiction.”

Discord turns around, and leans right on the table, “See, here is the difference. When he thinks something is fact, and it is fiction, then he still is confined by the fact that it is fiction. Me? Fiction and fact are interchangeable. Only true fact is quantum physics.”

Twilight smiles, “As if you know anything about quantum physics.”

Discord flips himself over the table, so he could wrap his arm around her, “Tisk, tak, Twilight. Have you not read my books? Let me inform you, Transcending the Mundane and Discerning the Transmundane are two very quantum-ey books.”

Tirek crosses his arms, “Mind telling us why we’re here, Discord?”

Discord sighs, and flips back over the table, “Well, I assume you all know Twilight?”

Chrysalis instantly snaps her eyes to Twilight, “Sparkle?”

Twilight looks at the bunch, and starts piecing it together, “Wait... Chrysalis? Sombra? Tirek!? I thought you had changed, Discord?!”

Discord holds up a placating hand, “Woah, Twilight, I was not lying. We have all changed. When you are dumped in this world, your mind opens up and let’s you know that you did a lot wrong. By arriving in this dimension, they have all changed.”

Twilight leans back a bit, “Okay, say I believe you. What exactly is your plan?”

Discord looks at his fellow teachers, “Fellows, follow me into the classroom. I will explain as we walk.”

———

The door slams open, causing the loud class to instantly quiet themselves. The four teachers move into the room, catching the attention of the bickering cliques. A purple girl follows after them, catching the attention of the more observant bunch.

Discord smiles, “Alright then, kids. We have an important mission that will test all of your skills learned so far. We need to make it so Miss Bacon Hair, who usually sits in the back, loses this Fall Formal.”

One Chaos student raises his hand, “Uh, Discord, isn’t that a bit petty?”

Discord shrugs, “Do seals quack?”

The student nods, “If you try hard enough.”

Discord snaps, “Then that’s the answer. Make Sunset Shimmer confused.”

Sombra takes up after Discord, “Crystals, I want you to use your supply lines wisely. Cut off the enemy supplies, and force all the popularity and attention to go to Miss Sparkle at the door.”

A Crystal student also asks a question as he looks at Twilight, “Why are we supporting her, exactly?”

Sombra looks them dead in the eye, “We have debts to repay. That is all you need to know as of now.”

Chrysalis takes her turn, “Changelings, infiltrate her friend group and wreak mayhem.”

Tirek speaks at last, “Magic Thieves, it is time to turn your enemy against themself. Turn her confidence to doubt, and her contentment into dispair.”

Discord says the final line, “Scarlet Chorus, Disfavored, you are the brunt of our attack. Spread rumors, nasty rumors, and turn the people against them.” Discord laughs, “Everyone ready for fun!?”

“Aye, aye, Discord!”

“We won’t disappoint, Miss Chrysalis!”

“We’ll starve her out, King!”

“She’ll be crushed under self-doubt and depression, Lord Tirek!”

“Oh, she’ll suffocate under the hate of the common people!”

Discord laughs madly, and the Chaos students join in. Twilight looks around, worried at the enthusiasm of the students. She looks at Discord as he laughs more, “The fun has only begun!”