The New Substitutes

by Chemtest

Savior

Sombra stares at his clique of students, confused as all of them seem to be arguing amongst each other. Their arguments stop as Tirek barges in the room, with Chrysalis at his side. He glares, and Sombra gets closer to him, “What is it?”

Tirek sniffs intently, “Discord has disappeared, and some strange magic is filling the school. Come with us, we are going to stop this.”

Sombra nods, and stomps out the room, “Class dismissed!”

Tirek takes deep sniffs as he walks down the hallway, turning every which direction. He sniffs extra strong, starts to charge at a random door.

He bashes it down, and readies his fists for whatever he might find. The other two enter as well, listening intently and drawing their weapons.

Their listening is what caused their downfall, as they are caught off guard by three harmonious voices. Tirek tries to cover his ears, but finds his will taken away.

Sombra shifts into shadow, yet he is still caught within their song, and slips back into his normal form.

Chrysalis starts to buzz her wings as loud as possible, and turn her ears into earmuffs so to not listen. Yet even then, their song rips through her defenses, and pries into her mind.

The three Dazzlings step out of the shadows, smiling as they continue humming to their new victims.

The three Substitutes turn and start to argue with each other, and the energy of conflict radiates off them like the sun.

The entire school is now under their control, bar one group of students.

———

Discord floats around in nothing, coming up with a plan to defeat the Sirens. He looks all in his mind, only to find one answer prevailing over all others.

He needs more of himself.

———

Discord snaps off the sombrero he had on, “So no teaching of Crystal culture? Fine.” He glowers at the crowd before him, “Either way, ponies react to chaos so much better than humans.”

He looks up to hear a comeback from one of his friends, only to see them all frozen in place. No, it would seem like everything is frozen in place.

Discord pops into existence, instantly feeling baked by the desert sun in his coat and overly long socks. He looks around to see an odd crowd around him. Pinkie Pie, a human in a brown duster next to a female human, a decapitated head, and a stereotypical western town.

Discord turns around, and his eyes widen as he sees Discord. His eyebrows raise, pushing his afro even higher up, “Oh, now what’s this? A human version of moi?”

Discord cringes upon sight of the afro upon Discord’s head, “Yeesh, what is this, the Sixties?”

Discord crosses his arms, “I’ll have you know that the afro is needed for mastery of the trumpet.” Discord then walks closer to the other Discord, offering Discord his hand, “Name’s Discord, trumpet player for the Explosive Rockers.”

Discord takes Discord’s hand, fingers meeting talons, and shakes, “Discord, Substitute Teacher for Canterlot High.”

Discord smiles, and nods towards Discord, “Nice to meet another Discord. Tell me, you know that summoning Discords is dangerous, so what situation are you in?”

Discord smiles back, “Sirens have taken over the school, and I can’t take them on alone.”

Discord draws back, “Don’t tell me. Is it Adagio?”

Discord nods, “Yes, so you already know how dangerous they can be. I need to save Celestia and everyone else!”

Discord summons his trumpet, “I’m with you, Discord. Let’s take them on!”

Discord holds up his talons, and snaps his way out of the universe, to await in nothing. Discord nods, and snaps to his next destination.

———

Discord lands in the new world, and looks all around.

Everything is music. A harmonious song fills the air of Canterlot Palace, as the Elements and the two Princess speak to each other. Each one is made up of a single music note, colored in different ways.

The ground is made of a sheet, and each step causes a new note to be added to the overall song. Each note fits in, and everything is perfect.

But then a sound rings out, a single loud drum beat that is out of the rhythm.

Discord appears in the throne room, made up of many different notes. One of his legs are a Minim, and another is a Crescendo. His head is a giant Semibreve, and his beard a breath mark. One arm is a Quaver, and another is a Double Flat. His body is a stretched out Neutral, and his mouth a Breve.

All around him, every movement he makes, he causes a note that is out of tone, rythem, and beat. His mouth opens in a laugh, and what sounds like a scratch of a vinyl comes out. However, his laughter stops as time freezes, and he realizes someone is there.

Discord smiles at Discord, “My name is Discord, Substitute at Canterlot High. I need musical experts. I imagine that with your entire world being music, you would be one?”

Discord reaches into himself, and somehow takes out a vinyl disk. He smiles, and a single electronic beat sounds out. He rises his arm, and another loud drum beat sounds as he awaits in nothing.

———

Discord throws a chunk of marble into the air, catching it as it falls, and sighing in boredom, “Creator, where is the sequel! I’ve been waiting for months, but no, other Discords get the spotlight and I just get to sit here and play with Marbles. I mean, come on, we were a hit, what with all our rocks and stuff, and our subversion of expectations and parody of a popular sub-genre!”

Discord appears, and watches in amusement as Discord throws Marbles back into the air, “Bored, are we? I have a solution to help both me and you.”

Discord looks over at him, catching Marbles without trying, “Will it be a thematic pun about rocks yet also a parody that will defy people’s expectations by meeting them exactly?”

Discord smiles, “You’re going to play Rock music.”

Discord jumps up, “Yes! Ha-ha! Screw you Creators, I’m doing something before you release ‘I Have a Boulder’!” He looks at the other Discord, “I’ll await you eagerly.”

———

Discord faces down his friend, and enemy. He summons a guitar, and seethes, “Of course you are back. Why wouldn’t you be? Have you come to try and kill me again, Tim?”

The man in a jesters uniform raises his ukulele, and opens his mouth, but is stopped as time itself is stopped.

Discord appears behind Discord, “I need a guitar player.”

Discord looks back, and sighs, “I suppose my fight can wait.”

———

The two final Discords appear in nothing, where the group of them all stand together. Discord smiles, “Alright Discord, what’s the plan?”

Discord looks at all of them, “Okay.” He points at the one with the afro, “I’m gonna need you to prepare a jazzy beat on your trumpet.” He points at Discord, who is still throwing Marbles into the air, “I need you to be our drummer, fast beat.” He points at the Discord who holds the guitar, “I need you to play your guitar, metal style.” He points at musical Discord, “You remix it all together in a electronic, EDM style.” He smiles, “I’ll take the vocals. Is everyone ready?”

“Ready!”

“Marbles says he’s ready to play!”

“We’re gonna put in an explosive show!”

Discord screeches out a high pitched note that causes every other Discord to either cover their ears, or be thankful they have an afro.

Discord smiles, “Alright, let’s go!”

Afro Discord raises his hand, “Wait, what’s our band name?”

Discord scratches his goatee, and smiles, “Discord and the Cacophony.”