Cows
Edward the Blue Engine was getting old, and in desperate need of an overhaul. His bearings were worn, and his cylinders and connecting rods clanked loudly as he puffed along the line.
One day, he and Applejack were taking a train of 12-ton fitted cattle vans, as well as a brake van, to market in Vicarstown. By all accounts it was a lovely day. The sun shone, the birds sang, and there was not a cloud in the sky. Applejack smiled as she looked out of the cab.
“Whoo-ee!” she said with excitement. “This reminds me of summers out in Oklahoma!”
“Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain!” Edward answered. “I remember that musical coming out in 1944.”
“So does mah Granny and Grandpa,” Applejack answered. “Ya should chat with them sometime.”
Unfortunately, as usual, the trucks were being a pain in the firebox back head. “Come along! Come along!” called Edward.
“Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!” the trucks screeched, as the bounced and rattled and wobbled along the line. Edward responded by pulling harder, and along they went, a cacophony of clanking and puffing and shouting and screaming as they raced along the line, the trucks doing their very best to make life awkward for Edward and his driver.
Partway along the line was a field. This field had some cows grazing in it, but for some reason the field was not properly fenced off from the railway line. This was a bit of a problem, as the cows were not used to steam locomotives, or any locomotive of any description for that matter. And who should come rattling and clanking and wheeshing past as they had their lunch out in the field?
Yes, Edward came rolling past on the main line, and the cows were startled by the incoming noise and steam. They charged out of the field and across the line moments after Edward had passed, between the third and fourth van, and the coupling broke. The brake hoses came loose, and the emergency brakes came on in the remaining trucks and the brake van, which rolled to a steady and gentle halt a few minutes later. But the guard, although he had stopped the train safely, was now confronted by a crowd of angry cows.
Edward felt a jerk on the coupling, but did relatively little about it, as he was used to trucks and their antics.
“Bother those trucks!” he exclaimed. “Why can’t they come quietly and behave?”
“They remind me of the old days back in the States,” Applejack told him. “Sometimes the animals wouldn’t come alon’ quietly, so we had to persuade them usin’ a number of different tricks.”
“Such as?” Edward asked.
“Food bribery,” Applejack replied.
Edward pondered for a moment. “Well, that wouldn’t necessarily work for trucks,” he said, “but I suppose something similar could be tried at some point.”
They stopped chatting for the moment, as they brought the train to a stop in the transfer yards just beyond Vicarstown with a gentle application of the brake. Applejack hopped off the footplate and headed back down the train. Just as suddenly as she had done so, she ran back up, hollering loudly.
“Gosh darn it! Those stupid trucks! Ah swear, when they see me Ah’ll give those fools a piece of mah mind!”
“What’s happened?” Edward asked.
“Part of the train’s missin’, and back out on the main line! We need ta go and get it, pronto!” Jumping back into the cab and uncoupling Edward from his wagons, she pulled him clear of the siding and then reversed onto the up line, heading along it at great speed.
Safe to say, they recovered the missing trucks, but by the time they got back to the sheds at Knapford that evening, everybody knew about it and found it most hilarious.
“Fancy allowing cows to break your train in two!” Gordon laughed. “It’s most undignified!”
“Imagine if the express were to break in two like that!” Rainbow Dash snorted. “Not that it would ever happen, of course, Gordon and me being so awesome.”
“Gordon and I,” Fluttershy corrected. “And Edward and Applejack didn’t do it on purpose.”
“Still,” Henry snorted, “it would be most undignified.”
“Dingifried?” asked Percy, coming up on one side with some trucks.
“That’s the wrong season Percy!” Pinkie Pie told him. “HiT haven’t bought the show yet!” And they accelerated away to the sidings.
“What?” Gordon asked. “Seasons? HiT? What in the world is she on about?”
“That’s just Pinkie bein’ Pinkie,” Applejack told the big blue engine.
Just then, Toby and Flash Sentry arrived, and looked to be most cross. “You couldn’t help it Edward,” he said sympathetically. “Besides, these two have never met cows, but I have.”
“Yeah, that was quite the ordeal,” Flash Sentry recalled. “It stopped all traffic on the line for hours, and it was such a nuisance.”
Applejack simply opened Edward’s regulator, and they sped away to the shed in order to rest. “Ah hate them sometimes,” she said, grumpily.
“They were only joking,” Edward said. “I’ve known them long enough to know they didn’t mean any harm from what they said.”
A few days later, Edward was working an all stations stopping train to Vicarstown, when Gordon suddenly rushed through Wellsworth whistling rudely.
“Poop poop! Mind the cows!” he shouted, his whistle sounding as he flew through with an express train.
Edward sighed. “Now that was meant to cause harm,” he told Applejack.
“Ah’ll have a word with Rainbow Dash,” she said back to him.
Meanwhile, Gordon flew along. “Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!” he called to the coaches.
“Don’t make such a fuss! Don’t make such a fuss!” they replied, annoyed at the speed at which they were going, which was odd, being MK1s and capable of up to one hundred mile per hour running. And that stretch was configured for high speed running, as it was long and straight, allowing for speeds of up to seventy-five miles an hour. Partway along was a bridge, and the railway briefly opened up to four tracks. But, looking ahead, Rainbow Dash spotted an obstruction on the line.
“Gordon!” she shouted. “Blockage up ahead!”
Gordon gasped. “Brakes, driver!” he shouted. Rainbow Dash put the train into full emergency braking, and the train came to a stop just short of the obstruction on the line.
It was then the obstruction turned out to be a cow. “It’s only a cow!” Gordon scoffed. “Shoo! Shoo!” He then slowly moved forward, in an effort to get it to move.
But the cow wouldn’t move. She just stood there, unmoving, and mooed at Gordon. Gordon responded by blowing steam from his cylinder cocks, but that didn’t work either.
“Moo!” the cow said. Everyone tried to get the cow to move, but it wouldn’t move an inch. Presently, Henry and Fluttershy arrived on the other line, and came to a stop as well.
“Oh!” said Henry. “A cow? I’ll soon settle her.” He then blew steam at it. “Be off! Be off!”
“Moo!” the cow replied. Fluttershy then spoke up.
“Wait a minute,” she said, hopping out of the cab and heading over to the cow. “What’s your name?”
“Moo!”
“I see.” Fluttershy paused. “Why are you standing out on the line? It’s dangerous here!”
“Moo!”
Fluttershy gasped. “Oh, that’s awful! I’ll call the stationmaster.” She then headed back over to Henry.
“Well?” the green Black 5 asked, confused.
“The cow’s name is Bluebell, and her calf has gone missing. She says if we can get her calf back to her, she’ll go.” With that, Fluttershy took out her mobile phone and dialled the stationmaster at Marron.
A few minutes later, Percy and Pinkie Pie arrived with a collection of vans and stopped at the bridge, to see Bluebell standing between the rails. With the calf offloaded, the cow was much happier, and the guard led them away to safety.
“Not a word! Keep it dark!” Henry said to Gordon, as he pulled away.
“Agreed!” Gordon added, as he went along on his way as well.
But that evening, as Rainbow Dash backed Gordon into his berth, a voice suddenly sprung up.
“Well Ah’ll be!” Applejack laughed. “What a story!”
“Two big engines afraid of a cow!” Edward snorted.
“That’s not what happened, AJ!” Rainbow Dash snapped, as she dropped Gordon’s fire.
“Indeed!” Gordon added. “We didn’t want the poor thing to hurt herself by running into one of us. That would never do on Sir Toppham Hatt’s railway, would it?”
“Aww!” said Pinkie Pie. “I thought you were going to say the other one.”
“The other one what?”
“Oh, you know, the Fat Cont-”
“SIR TOPPHAM HATT TO YOU!” Gordon stopped. “You see what I mean, Edward and Applejack?”
“I see,” Edward smiled. Gordon got the sense that Edward saw only too well.
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Very nice. I've been doing a little research and we're slowly approaching one of my favorite stories in the early seasons of Thomas, "Old Iron". That'll be fun to see. I bet a good variation of that would be Applejack personally handles the rope needed by using it as a lasso. It would be badass for her to do it that way, but we'll wait and see if that's a thing you'll do or you follow the original story.
How many chapters long will this story be?
10065614
I saw an earlier comment was going to be the story covers first 24 original books. Each of those have about four stories each. I'd say, a lot.
You think Applejack would've been able to herd those naughty cows that made the train break in half back into their field if she noticed them right away?
10065516
Now that one was fun to write.
10065614
10065656
Correct. It covers the first 26 books, which works out to about 105 stories.
10065842
Indeed she would.
Noice Jab. X3
10076862
I know, right?
Their trucks/boxcars, they're always into trouble, even if they're troublesome trucks or not.
Pinkie is just breaking ghe fourth wall again of something that's not supposed to happen til season 6 as were still in season 2 atm.
Wait, how is Fluttershy about to talk to animals without her geode/Magic in this story!?!?
Hilarious alright.
Something tells me Pinkie won't be stopping this anytime soon.