Thomas and the Guard
Hello again fellow readers! Since we last met Thomas, we had seen he had been given his own branch line to run alongside Twilight. Since we are here, let me tell you more about this branch line.
Thomas’ branch line starts at Knapford Junction, before running out of town to Dryaw, and then to a two-track station at Ellsbridge via the unstaffed halt at Torywreck. Then the line crosses out of town on a great viaduct, before winding through cuttings and valleys, and over bridges, then through Hackenbeck, and finally into a great tunnel before the line terminates at Ffarquhar. A short extension beyond there leads to a quarry, but this line is seldom used, and as a result does not appear on any official maps.
Thomas is understandably proud of his branch line. He thinks that it is the most important part of the whole railway network on Sodor. Twilight agrees with him on this point, as do Annie and Clarabel, his coaches, a pair of old Midland Railway bogie coaches with no internal corridors (and by logical extension, no WCs!).
Annie is a First-Class Coach, and as a such can only carry passengers, but Clarabel is a Brake Coach, and as such can transport passengers, their luggage, and the guard, who lives in the guard’s compartment at the back of the train (or at the front, depending on what direction Thomas is travelling, as the train can be operated as an Auto set, although this is rarely done). They are both old, and in desperate need of new paint, but Thomas loves them very much.
As they race up and down the branch line, they sing songs to one another. Whenever Thomas starts from a station, he sings “Oh! Come along, we’re rather late. Oh! Come along, we’re rather late.”
The coaches reply with “We’re coming along! We’re coming along!” They don’t mind what Thomas or Twilight say to them, because they know that both of them are simply trying to make Sir Toppham Hatt happy. Furthermore, they know if either Thomas or Twilight are cross, they aren’t cross with them.
One day, Thomas was waiting at the junction for Henry’s train. The departure time had been and gone, and Thomas would have left by now were it not for the fact he was a guaranteed connection, and therefore had to wait.
“How can I run my branch line properly if Henry and Fluttershy are always late?” he grumbled. “Do either of them understand that Sir Toppham Hatt depends on me?” And he whistled, annoyed.
Twilight looked over to him. “Look Thomas, I know it’s frustrating, but can you please try to be patient?” she asked. “They don’t do this sort of thing on purpose, and I imagine they’ll be here soon.”
Just then, a long, mournful whistle echoed through the valley, and Henry appeared in the distance, running very slowly and leaking profusely from his cylinders. He got slower and slower, and eventually ground to a complete stop in the platform.
“Where have you been, lazybones?” Thomas snapped.
Fluttershy got out of the cab as Henry replied. “Oh dear! My system is out of order, and nobody (except Fluttershy) understands my case! You don’t know what I suffer.”
Fluttershy crossed the tracks and spoke up. “He’s been steaming badly all day, and he does seem to be rather sad about something.”
Given what we know now, Thomas’ next remark seems particularly insensitive. “Rubbish!” he snapped. “You’re too fat Henry, you need exercise, that’s all.”
Twilight was shocked. “Thomas!” she exclaimed. “That wasn’t a nice thing to say!”
Thomas let off steam. “Just saying it how it is,” he replied.
Fluttershy went to the station master’s office whilst the guard for Thomas’ train blew his whistle, and waved his green flag. He then went to board the guard’s compartment, but on the way a lady with an umbrella got in his way. Quite why she had an umbrella is unclear, but he tripped over it and landed flat on his face with a bang.
He slowly pushed himself up. “Ow, that hurt,” he groaned. As he looked around him, he suddenly saw Thomas and his coaches accelerating away from him.
“Stop! Stop!” he shouted, running down the platform and waving his red flag. But it was to no use at all. Thomas was too far away, and out of earshot now.
“Well,” he said, “I’ve got a long walk ahead of me. I could use the exercise.”
Thomas sped away through the countryside, unaware of the chaos taking place behind him. “Come along! Come along!” he called to the coaches.
Clarabel was most certainly not in the mood. “I’ve lost my nice guard, I’ve lost my nice guard,” she sobbed.
Annie, on the other hand, tried to get Twilight’s attention. “We haven’t a guard, we haven’t a guard,” she called to Twilight. But the noise Thomas was making and the wind distorted her words.
“What are they saying?” Thomas asked. It was unlikely he planned to stop, as they were running behind timetable, and Thomas was determined to make up any lost time he could.
“Something about not having any lard,” Twilight replied. “I don’t think we have any lard to move!”
“Where is our guard, where is our guard?” the coaches cried. They had tried applying their brakes, but they couldn’t without the guard.
Just ahead, a signal was at red due to a broken-down train in the section. Twilight saw this, and applied Thomas’ brakes, bringing him to a stop just before the signal.
“Bother!” said Thomas, crossly. “What’s the matter? We’ll never make up the lost time now!”
“I don’t know,” Twilight replied. “I’ll go ask the guard.” She hopped out of the cab and walked to the back of the train, climbing onto the coach boarding rail and opening the guard’s compartment door. She gasped when she saw it was completely empty!
“Er, Thomas?” she asked. “We’ve got a bit of a problem here!”
“Yes?” Thomas asked in return. “Where is the guard?”
“He’s not here! He’s not in Clarabel or Annie!”
“We left him behind, we left him behind!” Annie and Clarabel sobbed. But just then, behind them the guard could be seen running down the track, puffing and panting as he ran toward them. He was very hot, and had a drink before speaking to the others, explaining all tjhat had happened.
Thomas was very embarrased. “Sorry sir,” he said. “I didn’t mean to leave you behind.”
“We did try to tell you Thomas,” said Annie pompously.
“You just said something about lard!” Twilight replied.
“Did we?” asked Clarabel.
“Don’t worry Thomas, it wasn’t your fault,” the guard laughed. Just then, the signal arm dropped into the green position. “Look! The signal’s changed. We can go now.” And he climbed aboard his coach, blowing his whistle and waving his green flag before shutting the door.
“C’mon Thomas!” Twilight called. “Let’s make up that lost time!”
Thomas started off loudly, steam pouring from his cylinders and funnel. Annie and Clarabel were so delighted to have their guard back they sang out. “As fast as you like! As fast as you like!”
And thet reached Ffarquhar 30 minutes early, which was a new record for the branch.
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I always thought that the signal was at danger because the signalman had been told about the guard.
There's also a story about a similar event happening at Eastbourne back in pre-grouping days, which led to the guard taking a taxi to Polegate where the train had been held for him.
10031105
Thanks for the info, Wessex. I don't think it's ever explained either in the book or the episode why the signal is red, though.
Man, if Mattel can at least get the chance to do a sequel to TAB, given that this year is the 75th anniversary to the Railway Series of course, they better include that scene from the book given that it was absent when the story adapted in Season 1. ^^;
10060430
Let's hope they do.
Interesting.
WCs?
That's a bad sign alright.
That's pretty much impossible for a train Thomas.
that*
they*
11319326
WCs are Water Closets. In modern terms, they’re toilets