Off the Rails
One morning, Gordon was resting sideways.
Wait, what?
Sorry everyone, it seems that Keeper of Porridge has hacked my keyboard. Give me a moment.
That’s better. Now to get on with the actual story for today.
One morning, Gordon was resting in a siding in Knapford Yard, his eyes closed as he had just come back from a long passenger run from the mainland. It had been a long and heavy train, and to make matters worse the coaches had misbehaved. So, naturally enough, Gordon felt like he deserved a nice rest, and there he was sitting on the siding, with the quiet noise and hubbub of the station going nicely as music in the background.
“Sometimes,” he thought to himself, “it is so tiring being such a large and splendid engine. One does have to keep up appearances so, and that means having a proper time to rest every now and then.”
But if Gordon thought he was going to get a proper rest, he was sore mistaken. Henry suddenly shot past on his left, whistling rudely. “Peep peep peep peep! Hello fatface!” he shouted, rolling to a stop alongside him.
“What Cheak!” thundered Gordon, having been woken from his slumber like an angry giant. “Fancy him speaking to ME like that, he’s far too big for his wheels! Why, I’ve never had an accident, unlike you.”
Fluttershy leaned out of Henry’s cab. “That crash wasn’t Henry’s fault, Gordon,” she said. “Although I do apologise for what Henry said to you.” Just then, the signal dropped. “Ooh! Gotta go! Goodbye!” And Henry then vanished into the distance.
But if Gordon thought he could then get off to sleep, he was wrong again. Who should appear but Percy, sidling up alongside him with a wry grin.
“Aren’t jammed whisrtles and burst safety valves accidents?” he asked. Pinkie Pie leaned out of the cab window and began talking.
“Yeah, I’m pretty certain that incident with a whistle would qualify as an accident because it was really SUPER loud and it blew out the glass in most of the town and nearly deafened the Fat-”
“SIR TOPPHAM HATT TO YOU!” Gordon bellowed. “And no, they do not qualify as an ‘accident’,” he continued, putting particular emphasis on the word ‘accident’. “High spirits can happen to any engine, yes, but to actually come off the rails? Like Henry did, well I ask you; is it proper? Is it decent?”
Nobody noticed the musical notes being played between Gordon’s words, and Percy simply vanished off into the distance.
Later that day, Henry backed down onto the express. Gordon had worked it the previous day, so that meant Gordon got a rest. Henry rolled to a stop and hit the coaches gently.
Gordon watched the entire scene, and decided to contribute some advice. “Those coaches are heavy, so you may need some extra power starting off,” he said. “And be careful, Henry; you’re not pulling the Flying Kipper now, so make sure you stay on the rails today.”
Henry simply huffed, and was clearly about to retort, but Fluttershy stopped him. “If you can’t think of something pleasant to say,” she began.
“Then don’t say it at all,” Henry finished. Just then the guard’s whistle went, and the signal dropped. Henry’s hooter rang through the station yard magnificently, and he thundered away from the station in a huff, glaring at Gordon as he raced past and vanished into the distance ahead on his way to Vicarstown.
Gordon then went back to sleep as Henry left the yard, hoping to get some more rest. But it was not to be, as a familiar voice called to him. “Come on Gordon! A special train has arrived, and we’re to pull it!”
Gordon sighed as he opened his eyes, to see Rainbow Dash standing in front of him. “Good morning, Rainbow Dash,” he said sleepily.
“Hey buddy,” she replied, before taking a bite out of a sandwich she was holding, before her smile vanished. “Yuck. Needs more mustard.”
Gordon took it as a good time to ask about the train. “Is it coaches or trucks?” he asked, sincerely hoping it would be the former.
Rainbow Dash sighed. “I’m not sure how you British refer to it,” she said, “but it’s what we call cars.”
“Cars,” Gordon repeated. “In the American dictionary, those are vehicles used for pulling freight so it is...TRUCKS?!!!” He then shuddered. “Pugh!”
Gordon’s fire was slow, which was a problem as he was needed at the turntable in order to work his next train, it not being safe to run fast backwards. As a result, Edward and Applejack were brought in to push him there.
“I won’t go, I won’t go!” Gordon grumbled.
“Don’t be silly, don’t be silly,” Edward replied.
“Just do some hard work for a change,” Applejack said. This annoyed Gordon, as this phrase had been Thomas’ principle means of annoying him back in the day.
“Come on Gordon,” Rainbow Dash said to him. “The faster we get this job out of the way, the sooner you can be back on that siding. Sound good?”
Gordon didn’t reply as he was wheeled onto the turntable. His fire was now going nicely, and this meant he was producing plenty of steam.
Rainbow Dash hopped off his footplate and went to operate the turntable controls. There was a judder as the electric motor kicked in, the table slowly swinging around to face the other way and get Gordon the right way around.
Gordon was still fuming, and then came up with a plan. “I’ll show them, I’ll show them,” he said to himself, certain he wouldn’t spin like a record (right round round). He’d only meant to block the turntable, but suddenly found that as he rolled forward off the turntable, he couldn’t stop! Right in front of him was a muddy pond, absolutely filled with sludge and other such waste, and he fell off the track and fell right into the mess.
“Hoooosh!” he cried, as he released steam from his cylinder cocks. “Get me out! Get me out this instant!”
Rainbow Dash simply looked confused. “What just happened?” she asked. As she walked around the front, she could see Gordon was stuck in place by the mud and muck. She briefly tried to suppress a smirk, and then burst out laughing.
“It’s not funny!” Gordon replied. “I’m stuck!”
Rainbow Dash shook her head, and observed the mess once she had calmed down. “There’s not a hope of getting you out,” she said finally. “You’re stuck, you idiot.”
Sir Toppham Hatt was sitting in his office, when suddenly his telephone rang. “Hello?” he asked.
There was some brief high-pitched speech at the other end.
“Oh, not this again,” he sighed. “I have already heard the law is the law, and I am not sighing in the third person!”
There was another pause. “What’s that you say?” he asked. “Gordon didn’t want to take the train, so he fell into the ditch?”
There was some more speech.
“The special’s waiting? Oh, tell Edward and Applejack to take it. Leave Gordon stuck in the mud. That’ll teach him to try and slack off.”
On the other side of the ditch, two boys had gathered, and were laughing at Gordon.
“Doesn’t he look silly!” said one.
“I agree!” said the other. “They’ll never get him out!”
Then they began singing:
“Silly old Gordon fell in a ditch,
fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch,
Silly old Gordon fell in a ditch,
All on a Monday morning!”
Gordon sat in the ditch for the rest of the day. “Oh dear,” he said, “I shall never get out. I shall simply rust away in this frog-infested pond and then there will be-”
“Don’t be silly!” said Rainbow Dash. Despite her anger toward Gordon, she had stayed with him out of loyalty the entire time. “They’ll get you out...eventually.”
That evening, the cranes were brought in from the yard, and used to lift Gordon’s driving and leading wheels from the mud. Then ropes were attached to the back of his tender coupling, and then James pulled Gordon free from the mess, getting him back onto the rails.
Gordon was moved back into the depot under his own power. He was a sadder and wiser engine, and worried about what tomorrow would bring.
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Huh. No comments.
Keeper of Porridge? That's a name from the past.
10059715
One of the true greats of Thomas YTPs, alongside WTLNetwork.
Heh Gordon would learn from this and next Thomas' turn.
10059802
Not yet.
10059829
Oh ok.
10059861
No worries.
10060339
Well it was mainly the TV Series ^^'
10060340
True. :P
10060341
Well, it was probably the Blue Paint reference. ^^'
10060353
Oh. Right.
10060349
Ah yes. The books aren't really a concept on your side of the pond.
10060350
That's why it's alarming the US ones vent sideways, not to the front.
10060359
Noice Touch indeed X3
10060408
Indeed it was. Glad somebody spotted it.
10060432
Yep =)
Besides, when looking back at TAB, it's still amazing how they were able to fulfill the limitations that were in Season 1. Like say the most obvious for example: James was in his red paint even before he got it from the 3rd book onwards, but thankfully in TAB, James was in the paint when we first saw him in the RWS: Black ^^
10060438
However, Henry was in his rebuilt form.
10060453
True. Hopefully maybe they can fix that in the sequel ^^'
10060460
I hope so too.
10060468
Yep =3
Thank goodness for modern technology X3
10060470
Is that the machine known for it's spelling?
10060509
True.... ^^'
Btw, don't forget what I said on 1. ^^'
10060515
I feel it's overused. It's also technically an expletive.
10060521
True.... ^^'
10060524
Indeed.
10060543
Yep =3
10060548
Time for an elephant, I think.
Heh, never though one would pair those two words together :3 Someone has to try saying it five times fast ^^
Lol.
wouldn't it make more sense if it said "going nicely with music playing in the background."
"Little did Gordon know, he spoke, a little too soon."
whistles*
And yeah, I do think that counts.
Nice reference from Overpowered.
Huh, didn't expect to see this happen about mentioning the different terms of calling rolling stock in the US vs UK. 😕
"I don't know what that means, but it sounds very long" said Thomas.
Sorry, couldn't help myself doing that. 😅