Flash's first official day on his new job at the music store in the mall was exhausting, frustrating, and mind-numbingly boring. When his shift ended and he clocked out, all he could think about was grabbing a cold smoothie and heading home to rest. After sending for an Uber, he stopped by the smoothie bar, where he chatted with Applejack for a minute while she made his order. By the time he had a cold smoothie in hand, the app had signalled his ride's arrival. Flash bade Applejack farewell and headed for the exit.
When Flash found his ride, he stared at it in dismay. The car was probably older than his dad; its vomit green paint was peeling in places, and oily smoke belched from its muffler, which rattled ominously. He hesitated, shuffling his feet on the pavement.
The passenger side window rolled down. "Ey, you called for a ride, ese? You gettin' in or what? ¡Ándele, pendejo!"
Flash shook himself and, with trepidation, got into the back seat. As soon as he was in the car, a stench assailed his nostrils. The entire compartment reeked of something pungent, musky, and smoky. He started to feel lightheaded.
The car started moving before he even got the door properly closed, nearly throwing him out again. He scrambled to yank the door closed and fumbled around for a seatbelt, but found none. The muffler roared and the suspension shook as the car rumbled out of the lot.
The driver turned to look back at Flash. He was somewhere around Flash's dad's age, with leathery skin and a thick, bushy, greying mustache. "Ey, you go to CHS, right?"
"Yeah," Flash said.
The driver chuckled, nodding his head as he turned to look forward. "I love CHS, ese. Principal Celestia? Nngh, bet she's got some fine pussy." His smirk filled the rear view mirror. "I'd put that bitch over a table and go down on that pussy, man, I'd eat that bitch out all night ese!"
Flash frowned, his hands curling in his lap.
"But them Rainbooms, man? Them chicks with the band? Ffffsss..." The driver made a rapid lip-flapping sucking sound. "Mmm-UM! Now that is some pussy buffet! Blue pussy, yellow pussy, pink pussy, purple pussy, orange pussy, white pussy, cowgirl pussy..." The muffler let out a spectacular fart, and the entire car lurched. "You ever get any of that pussy, ese?"
"Those girls happen to be my friends," Flash said tightly.
The driver exploded in wheezing laughter. "Oh, man, you so LUCKY, ese! Shit, man, I bet you get all that pussy! Hey. Which one has the best pussy, huh?"
Flash felt bile rising in his throat. "Stop the car," he said roughly. "I'm getting out here."
The driver looked back at him, his face tight, his smile dropping. "Ey, man, what gives? We just talking here, ese!"
"I said stop the car," Flash repeated. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to this crap."
The driver spat off to his side and grunted. "Little bitch," he said, pulling over to the curb. "Get the fuck out, little punk faggot!"
Flash opened the door and got out, slamming it behind him. The driver hauled himself up out of his window and turned to look at Flash. "Punk faggot bitch!" he snarled. "Fuck you think you better than me, bitch? Fucking little faggot punk!"
A police cruiser turned onto the street. The driver abruptly ducked into his car and trundled away. Flash squared his shoulders, grunted under his breath, and started walking, checking his phone for bus stops. He sighed; the nearest stop to his location was a good fifteen minute walk, then a thirty minute wait for a bus, and then another thirty minute walk from the stop nearest his house to home.
"Ugh..." His head slumped. "Shoulda just put up with that asshole..."
You know, I've got to ask, what makes you want to write about Flash?
There ain't no rest for the Sentry, upvotes don't grow on trees, you've got jokes to make, you've got fans to appease, but ain't no other character to fleece?
Ok, I got carried away there, but where did this string of fics comr from?
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Ask Skirts. I'm just volleying the ball back over the net.
Is this a skirts alt?
And so the rollercoaster continues!
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You are now my friend. Resistance is futile.
I feel like I've missed something. Why are Moth and Skirts going back and forth on Flash Sentry fics? What a way to start 2019...
Second chapter in. Took an Uber 180 but I like it! I could almost hear Cheech's voice when I read the driver's dialogue
Somepony’s a fan of the original Dusk Till Dawn version of Cheech Marin.
Because being Flash in a mothverse is suffering....
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I suspect you are far from the only one (Includes himself in statement)
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It is a mystery. I don't think either of us knows what's going on here. It just kind of...is.
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I'm tempted to hire thugs to kidnap the both of you and lock you up to see if
1)there are survivors
2) can force a collaboration that destroys the sanity of all who witness it.
However I am a broke whitewashed Mexican.
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Honestly? All that would come of that would be we'd couch potato it up watching M*A*S*H and Star Trek reruns all day. Seriously, the few direct interactions I've ever had with Skirts involved one of those two topics.
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Well yeah if you wanted to be all realistic about things.
The only thing missing from this Uber car, was running on the Space saver tyre for the last 6 months and only on three cylinders.
At least it had a working clutch. and windows, and no pool on the floor.
Give me a bit and I might be able to remember other local taxis Ive been in over the years.
Oh, and when I catch the taxi with my GM freind, he has the unfortunate problem of having to share his house with a dozen territorial incontinent cats.
The tennis match continues, to a certain peach-fuzzy ball's dismay. Sorry, Flash. Being a magic-adjacent boy is suffering.
Also, maybe try Lyft?
I think I will enjoy this story. Will be fun to see Flash suffer through all the UBER wackos, horrible cars and insurance trouble. Keep it up!
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Blame Deadpool.
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As soon as the Uber driver started talking all I could hear in my head was Cheech Marin.
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In that case, mission accomplished.