Flash Sentry Calls an Uber

by MythrilMoth

Tuesday

Flash stared at the car and its driver in sheer disbelief.

Waiting for him at the curb was a Mini Cooper with the top down. The car itself was a glossy dark pink with a glacier blue interior and a darker blue top. Seated in the driver's seat was a familiar girl with light blue skin, whose glacier blue hair with two darker blue stripes was pulled up in a high ponytail.

She smiled brightly at him. "Hi, ready to go?"

He pointed dazedly at her. "You're...one of the Dazzlings," he said. "The...same ones who—"

"Yeah yeah," Sonata Dusk said, rolling her eyes. "But that was a long time ago and you can't possibly still be holding a grudge over that, right?" She opened the passenger side door. "C'mon, I'm just gonna drive you around. No evil, no magic, nothing but a normal ride."

Flash hesitated, but ultimately shrugged and got in, tossing his bag in the back as he buckled up. Sonata pulled out of the mall parking lot, checking her mirrors, driving at a normal speed, humming tunelessly as she drove. Flash found himself surprised, honestly, at how professional and normal she was being.

Then, three blocks from his house, she suddenly took a wrong turn.

"Umm...my house is that way," Flash said.

"Oh I know," Sonata said. "But I'm hungry. I'm just gonna swing back around and hit up Los Tacos Hermanos real quick."

Flash blinked. "Uhh...that's like five miles from here in the wrong direction."

Sonata giggled. "It's just a side trip," she said. "I just wanna get there while the Taco Tuesday discounts are still on." She batted her eyelashes at Flash. "You don't mind, do you? I mean, are you in that big a hurry to get home?"

Flash started to protest. Then his stomach rumbled. He remembered, quite suddenly, that he'd actually missed his lunch break because of a minor disaster at the store. He shrugged. "Actually, I could eat," he said. "Go for it."

"Yay!" Sonata suddenly floored the gas pedal; the Mini's engine roared as it shot down the road at well over the speed limit.

"HEY!" Flash cried as he was thrown back against the back of his seat. "What the—"

"Gotta vroom!" Sonata declared, a wicked grin on her face as she leaned forward into the steering wheel. The car hit a brief but steep incline and gained air briefly, sailing twice its length before touching down roughly, its suspension squealing as the shudder of impact jolted through the frame, making Flash's teeth vibrate painfully.

"Speed limit! SPEED LIMIT!" Flash cried, clinging for dear life to the side of the car.

"Speed limits are for pussies!" Sonata declared dismissively.

"You have a pussy!" Flash retorted.

Sonata blinked, then blushed. "L-lewd!" she shouted. "I'm putting a sexual harassment note on your rating for that!"

"Just...just drive legal, okay?!"

Sonata rolled her eyes. "Fine, Mr. Grumplestiltskin," she muttered, slowing down to just a hair over the limit. "I guess it'll be nice not to have to clean as many splattered cats off the car this week..."

"There's something seriously wrong with you," Flash said, staring at Sonata in disbelief.

"I'm a thousand year old sea monster from another dimension," Sonata said in a bored tone. "What's your excuse?"

As Flash floundered for a retort, Sonata turned on the car stereo, filling the car with a pounding Eurotrash beat. "Oh, sweet God," Flash moaned as Sonata began cheerfully la-la-la'ing along with the song, swaying back and forth in the driver's seat. "You actually like this shit?"

"Mm-hmm!" Sonata said chipperly, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel in time with the beat.

Flash shook his head. After a full chorus, he said, "Good sound though. The car, I mean."

"Yeah, I tricked it out," Sonata said. "I don't even have my subwoofer on," she added with a grin. "I keep it turned off when I'm running rideshare because it kinda ticks off the cops, know what I mean?"

"Yikes."

A few minutes later, they came to the tangled nest of overpasses, offramps, and service roads where three highways intersected, which were dominated by a dozen different fast food places, two car dealerships, and a haphazard collection of other retail shops and other businesses. Their two lanes of service road were completely plugged with cars; signs posted above the road flashed updates on an accident up ahead and estimated wait times. Sonata coasted to a stop behind a powder blue PT Cruiser and whined. "Awww, come on!" she wailed. "Tacos! They're RIGHT OVER THERE!" She threw out her hands, emphasizing the presumed location of Los Tacos Hermanos (Flash guesstimated it was still a mile or so away) as her ponytail flailed wildly about. "Greeeeeeeat," Sonata moaned. "Why?!"

Flash frowned. On the one hand, he could blame this situation entirely on Sonata. She'd taken a detour off the route, which Uber drivers weren't supposed to do, and gotten them stuck in a traffic jam on the other end of town from his house when they'd been almost there earlier. On the other hand, he'd agreed to the detour, which meant this was just as much his fault as hers. Worse, if he got out now and arranged another ride, it wouldn't make much of a difference—he'd still get stuck in this traffic nightmare, because the only way out was through.

Sonata checked the time and let out an eep. "Oh no, we're gonna miss half price chalupas and fifty cent sides!" she complained. "The daily specials expire in ten minutes, and we're stuck here for..." She looked up at the sign. "Longer!"

Flash shrugged. "So we pay full price and get less food," he said. "It's not the end of the world."

"NO!" Sonata declared fiercely. "I'm not gonna let this stupid traffic jam ruin Taco Tuesday for me!" She started fiddling with buttons on the car stereo, then gripped the wheel firmly. "Grab hold of something," she growled.

Flash glanced at her in alarm. "What're you do—"

And that's when the bass dropped.

The Mini Cooper JUMPED into the air, as did every car around it. The ground shook violently. Sonata revved the engine, aimed for a gap between two cars on her right, and shot through, going up on the right two wheels as the bass DROPPED again and skiing between cars until she hopped up onto the sidewalk. The car came back down on four wheels, scattering pedestrians and shaking the ground as Sonata drove along the curb, forcing people to jump out of her path.

"WHAT! THE! FUCK!" Flash roared over the pounding, angry gangsta rap booming out of the stereo.

"Calm your joobies," Sonata said sweetly, a wicked grin splitting her face. "I do this like, all the time."

"And you still have a license?!"

"Hang on, we're coming in hot!" Sonata called as a powerful THUMP of her subwoofer launched the Mini into the air and over a cross street, the tires skidding across the top of a mid-sized car before clearing the curb and slamming down in the parking lot of Los Tacos Hermanos—just feet from the crowded drive-thru line. Sonata jerked the wheel hard to the right, turning the car into a violent skidding turn and knocking it back up on its right wheels. For three horrifying seconds, Flash was completely upside-down as Sonata skirted past the line of cars in the drive-thru before somehow managing to U-skid into an open parking space, at which point her car slammed down on all fours. She killed the subwoofer and cut the engine, then sat back against her seat, panting heavily. "Whew! Made it!"

Every bone in Flash's body shuddered and creaked. His pulse pounded in his ears. He wasn't entirely sure his hair was still blue. His stomach lurched and his lungs squirmed. "You. Are. INSANE," he gasped out.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Sonata said absently, digging a pinkie finger in her left ear. "More importantly, tacos! Let's go!"

Flash stared at her. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Sonata shrugged. "Well it's what we came for, right?"

Flash sighed and undid his seat belt. "Yeah, I guess," he said. "But I'm calling for a different ride after I eat," he added. "There's no way in hell I'm getting back in any car you're driving."

Sonata giggled. "Yeah...I get that a lot too."

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Bangin toons. Cos any other way not only gets her license revoked but Adagio seriously steamed as well?

If it wasnt for the crash skirts, you can park a Classic Mini Cooper drop top Under an 18 wheeler trailer? If you remember to keep your head down?

Ahh, I miss working on Richter Class sound systems.

But now, he has miles to get home, through the extra super snarl up caused by Tacos. Good thing Pinkie hasnt read that Golden Oldie scifi story in which one form of personel transport involved a gas powered pogostick with autogyro blades. I think it might have been Lensmen?

[Fusion Blaster]

yeah that second song was pretty damn fitting.

Flash's heart is gonna give out before this week is over.

[Neece]

"I'm a thousand year old sea monster from another dimension,"

That's an incredibly good point

[Moosetasm]

I concur with your depiction of Sonata Dusk as a taco crazed lunatic.

Also: I ship that, FlashxSonata: Flonata Dentry

[FanOfMostEverything]

"I'm a thousand year old sea monster from another dimension," Sonata said in a bored tone. "What's your excuse?"

Darn it, now I want that on a T-shirt. Possibly with Sonata's true form on it.

I also want to see Sonata and Vinyl's cars duke it out in a battle of the bass.

[Bookeater_otaku]

Sonata should audition for the next Fast and Furious film. I still find that you write those two with a weird kind of synergy that just WORK that leave me wanting more.

[Sunset_Shimmer83]

damn, i'd love to drive with sonata

[Ri2]

"And you still have a license?!"

Wait, she has a license?