Love is a...
There are days which by all rights should be lovely, but turn out to be the absolute pits. And this was definitely shaping up to be one of those days. The sun was shining. I was in the park overlooking the bay in Manehattan. I was drinking wine, and a very talented string quartet was playing a masterwork by Four Seasons in the background. And in just a few months I was marrying a wonderful stallion who loved me with all his heart. Really, by any objective standard, it was basically perfect. And it was all I could do not to sink my head into my hooves and groan.
Hi. I'm Cadance, Princess of Love, grumpy alicorn, and general spoiled brat. Trust me, I've lived with myself long enough to know it. I was well aware that I really did have everything, up to and including the horn. I didn't have much right to be irritable. But the truth is that this has never stopped anyone in the history of irritation. And I was completely exhausted and fed up. I'd been in the city for a week now, spending my time dancing from one charity event to another. Time I should have been spending with Shining Armor, or at least planning the wedding. Chatting up the sort of ponies who would pay a thousand bits a plate in the hope I'd drop a good word in Celestia's ear. Always Celestia of course. Never mind Luna, who yes was my adopted aunt already, thank you very much. I was sick of false smiles and back-trotting insincere flattery. And especially sick of just 'casually' showing up at a mingling party like this one, pretending I wasn't the main attraction and everyone wasn't glancing at me with my back turned. I hate playing on my status, and I always have. It reminds me too much of the old joke. 'My dear we've established that, now we're just haggling over price.' It's not that I didn't want to help any way I could, but I was a Princess for Harmony's sake. There had to be a better way to raise awareness for a cause. It was bad enough I had taken to discretely drafting tax bills against the most obsequious to amuse myself.
What I'm trying to get at here is that I was in no mood for listening to classical music and sipping wine. So when a grey pegasus mare in a sharp suit trotted up to me it was the best thing that had happened all day, though I didn't know it at the time. Not that that the sight was unwelcome. I notice beauty, it's just not something I can help. And she definitely had classical Pegasopolan good looks. It combined with her charcoal coat and cerulean feathers and mane to form a striking contrast. And her crisp business suit perfectly matched her manner.
"Princess Mi Amore Cadenza" she said, giving a bow. "I'm so pleased to meet you. Not to mention pleasantly surprised."
"Please, Cadance will do just fine thank you" I said almost automatically. Everypony tries to impress me by knowing my full title, and it didn't even work the first time. And besides, I was still grumpy. "And I find it hard to believe I'm that much of a surprise."
"Oh but you are, to me at least. I have to admit I didn't check the guest list. I was here for the appearance and braced to be bored out of my skull. But then here you are."
I laughed at that. As a line it was right up there with 'I hate places like this, don't you?' But there's a reason those lines work, and I was in the mood for some honesty. "Well, have a seat and we'll be bored together. As long as you tell me your name. I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage."
She actually smirked at that. "Well, only a little. My name is Chrysanthemum Crown."
"The plastics importer?" The name clicked from my notes once I heard it of course, the reclusive CEO of Best Moon.
"Indeed, for my sins. Plastics, resins, latex, and all manner of organic goo."
"Well in that case, I hardly expected to see you here either. Rumor has it you spend all your time lurking in a volcanic island fortress somewhere plotting mergers."
"Ha! More of a desert lair really." She leaned forward conspiratorially. "In a volcano the minions keep falling into lava, and the travel time to the mainland is just murder." We both laughed at that, and she sat down next to me. "Actually, believe it or not, I really am here for the charity. The Fortunate Foster Foundation does good work, and I think my rare appearances multiply my impact."
I nodded. "It does, I wish I had that excuse. And I know how much Best Moon donates to family causes. Far more than any other comparable company. I've definitely been impressed."
"Nothing is more important than family" she said firmly. "I'm surprised you've heard of that, it seems a bit outside your domain."
"Oh no not at all" I said, warming up to my favorite topic. "Ponies often make that mistake. There are many types of love, and I'm interested in all of them. Romantic love, Eros, is just one. There's Storge, which is family love..."
"Philia, which is friendship, and Agape, which is unconditional love" Chrysanthemum finished with a surprised smile. "I should have known you've read Heart Fire's writings. They're fairly obscure."
I leaned forward conspiratorially myself. "Well, don't tell anyone. But I'm actually Heart Fire."
"No!"
"Yes." I couldn't help grinning at her reaction. "After I ascended I felt like I had to make a statement to the world, but I didn't want to trade on my horn for authority. So I joined all the other amateur philosophers and started to publish anonymously. It was very much The Thing To Do at the time." I gave a bit of a self deprecating laugh and shook my head. "Well you can see how well that went. Hence the the charity meet-and-greets these days."
Chrysanthemum still looked stunned. "And, what, you think that had no impact? You do realize I've read everything you've written? At least if you don't have any other pseudonyms I should know." She gave another of her quirked smiles. I could get used to that, I thought. "I think I like you... Cadance. And that's not something I say often. So at risk of sounding like a fanfilly, please. Call me Chrissi."
I am Queen Chrysalis. Mother of Changelings, Heart of the Swarm, Rightful Ruler of All I Survey. And my day was rapidly spiraling out of control. It was supposed to be simple. Raise some money for the orphans, seeding more love through Equestria. Improve the image of our front company and keep on raking in bits for the hive. Telepathically glean enough information from a tycoon or two for a 'chance encounter' with a 'lonely ex' later, and have it all photographed for blackmail. Lay a few eggs, hurry them home, and resume plotting the invasion of Canterlot. Simple.
Instead, She was here. Cadance, Princess of Food. The linchpin of the whole invasion. The one mare who could completely ruin everything if she became suspicious. All interactions with her should have been carefully planned out in advance, all possibilities accounted for. So what in Tartarous had possessed me to introduce myself? To sit down and chat with her? Never mind that she was a pouring fountain of Agape with a steadily increasing flow of Philia that glowed to my empathy like the sun. Or that she was the one who invented those words in the first place. Heart Fire's writings had redefined our understanding of love, and with it our hunting methods. We'd always known there were some types of love we couldn't or shouldn't eat, but no one had managed to articulate that Eros and Storge were food while Philia and Agape were not. She was one of very few ponies I actually respected. And on top of that she was really easy to talk to, and I hadn't had company up to my standard in ages.
Ah well, buck scheming. It's not as if my improvisational skills weren't up for it.
"So you say you're not in the mood for classical music, even as good as this" I nodded to the quartet. They really were excellent. I should make a note of them for when I ruled. Talent like this was too rare to cocoon. "What would you rather be doing instead?"
"My fiance" she said, without missing a beat, and held a serious expression for moment before we both broke down and laughed. "No, no. Sorry. No. That was hardly Princessly of me was it."
"Don't be ridiculous." Honestly, these Ponies. They don't understand anything. "You are the Princess. Anything you do is royal. Why you could stand, clear your throat, let out a belch that shattered glass, and there would be nothing anypony could say about it."
She gasped in mock offense. "Chrissi!"
"It's true! I bet you could start a trend of burping to compliment the meal." I quirked a grin. "You should do it."
"I don't want to."
"But you should."
"Hmph, I refuse" she said snootily, putting her nose in the air, and giggled. Yes, the Princess of Love giggles. In retrospect, it should have been obvious.
"Well, far be it for me to order around a princess."
"Oh stop it."
It just went on like that, trading banter and teasing each other like equals. Imagine, treating a mere Princess as an equal! Yet shockingly I found I was actually enjoying myself. Normally this would be where I started flirting, using subtle telepathic probes to find the best approach to tempt infidelity. But honestly I was enjoying myself too much to work. And I am the Queen. I can take a night off if I want to. Besides, I told myself, learning more about her and having a persona she trusts before the abduction will only help. She was also fun to talk to. And it turned out that she desperately needed my perspective.
"...and then he started going on about the superiority of unicorn magic. I felt like spreading my wings and blowing him right off the mountain."
"Well why didn't you?" She stared, and I rolled my eyes. "Oh, catch him again if you really feel you have to. But really, mouthing off to you like that? He thinks that just because you grew a horn you forgot where you came from?"
She shook her head a bit sadly. "Most of them don't know where I came from. They assume I was a unicorn before, if they think about it at all. It all comes back to how they think of Celestia as the only real Princess, even if I've been around for centuries and the Diarchy is restored."
"Well they're a bunch of fools." That was just ridiculous. Why with her beauty and power... "You should stand up to those horny old goats in the nobility, show them who's boss."
"It's hard to blame them though" she said. "Forty generations of tradition don't change in a hurry. They don't even remember that Celestia also ascended, or that she was an Earth Pony in the beginning. Nopony wants to know. They think of her as halfway to a goddess, and they like it that way." She looked down. "It's a lot to compete with."
I just scoffed. "You'd be amazed how fast things can change. And traditions had to get their start somewhere. Do you think I broke into the upper crust by waiting for them to give me respect?" She look thoughtful at that, so I pressed on. "Power and influence aren't given for free." Too right. They were earned and paid for. I pushed down painful memories and kept on topic. "The ones who are winning the game always keep the rules that put them on top. Eventually you'll have to start taking what's yours. And," I added with a grin, "when you do, if you're stubborn enough and you kick up enough fuss, you'll find that they'll rewrite the rules to accommodate you." Of course, soon all of this will be mine, I added to myself. But oh well. Good advice was free. And I'd make a point to knock some noble heads together for her when I took over. It was the least I could do in payment for a lovely evening.
The party was winding down, and despite everything I was sorry about that. "Thank you Chrissi" I said during a lull. "Really. You have no idea how you've saved my evening."
"Oh please, it's not as if you haven't done me the same favor. And it's not every day you meet a Princess. A real one," she added emphatically, "whatever anypony else thinks."
I smiled. I'd been doing that a lot tonight. "Thank you." Then I spotted something out of the corner of my eye, and giggled. "Oh, look over there." The servers were clearing Twelve Percent's plate, and had just found the note I had teleported under it. The waiter glanced down and choked, and I could see him struggling not to burst out in laughter as he tucked it into his apron and resumed work.
"Cadance, what did you do?"
"Slipped a proposed tax bill under his plate" I said, quite pleased with myself. "It has a special focus on pretensions of piracy and really stupid red beards." Twelve Percent was well known as a particularly smarmy banker. He actually kept a parrot and had a private airship with black sails. Celestia's chief forensic accountant Sky Scribe was looking into him, but I wasn't about to share that.
"Why Princess, such tyranny" Chrissi said, with a grin. "I didn't think you had it in you."
"Oh hush you, it's just a joke. I bet he's at least as rude to the caterers as he is to me, and it'll do them good to know that I noticed."
She nodded, then suddenly got a suspicious look on her face and lifted her own plate. "A tax credit for rescuing Cadance from despair at the entire upper class?" She seemed torn between amusement and confusion, and it was glorious. "How? When?"
"A Princess has her secrets" I said, in my best imitation of Celestia, and amusement won out. The sun was setting over the bay and the cool night breeze was ruffling our feathers. "I really should wrap up here and head back to Canterlot. But don't be a stranger okay? We'll arrange a visit together. No event or something as an excuse, just us."
She stopped stock still. For a moment I was worried that she had gotten the wrong idea. But no, when I reached out with my magic all I felt from her was the glowing bond of a new friendship.
"...I'd like that Cadance. Thank you" she finally said. She turned to walk away, and suddenly I remembered something.
"Swing dancing!" I blurted out, and she looked back at me in confusion.
"Earlier you asked what I'd rather be doing with you. Swing dancing. I haven't had a good partner in ages, Shining prefers waltz or contra."
"...I'll hold you to that then, Princess" she said, recovering her poise. And she trotted off into the night. I shook my head, smiling, and made one last round of the crowd. I gave a few apologies, and complimented the quartet. And finally I dramatically silhouetted myself against the sunset and leaped for the sky, starting my flight back to Canterlot. It really had been a perfect evening.
Damn it damn it damn it damn it DAMN IT!
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Oooh. Fascinating. Loved seeing this from both sides!
This has started out veeery well. I’m eager to see more. 👀
9111257
Then I hope you enjoy the rest even more.
9110047
I'm glad it worked, the alternating perspectives was tricky.
"I'd been doing that alot tonight."
"I'd been doing that a lot tonight."?
Twelve Percent is a reference to Going Postal’s Reacher Gilt, yes?
9111618
Indeed!
They both laugh, but for VERY different reasons. "it was silly the first time, funny the second time, HILARIOUS the third, but after that I started to realize I needed to move out or I'd soon have no minions. "
Ha.
haha masterwork by "four seasons" lol. great vivaldi ref bro.
Damnit? Why?
9113563
Blame Changeling Space Program
Nice first person and some odd, but not unwelcome, Cadance characterization. It's always good to see the princess of love getting more writing TLC.
This, fillies and gentlecolts, is precisely the reason why you don't fraternize with your mark!
Very smooth dialogue. The comparison and contrast of their lives and purposes really drives home the emotional core of the story.
9119000
I knew this characterization felt familiar!
Not that that's a criticism. It's a brilliant source of worldbuilding.