• Published 14th Aug 2018
  • 5,408 Views, 102 Comments

Royal Peanut Butter - Darkstarling



Queen Chrysalis stalks the Princess of Love. Love, as ever, is complicated.

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Crystal Heart

The worst thing about love is how it can take you over. I should know, it's the basis of changeling mind magic. It's really nothing but love, laced with just enough Deceit to change the context. You have to understand, I knew that allowing myself to have feelings for Cadance was a horrible idea. I knew there was no way things could possibly work out. I knew that indulging my feelings would just end in pain. But it just felt too good to stop myself from seeing her. And putting myself achingly close to what I wanted and couldn't have became it's own perverse, desperate thrill.

And so we wrote, and we visited, and we talked. Sometimes with Shining, sometimes without. It was infuriatingly easy to see what she saw in him. Handsome, powerfully magical, surprisingly intelligent, and completely deserving of the absolute trust she placed in him. But for me it was always her. I could acknowledge that he was, barely, good enough for her, but I never wanted him for myself.

As weeks rolled on wild scenarios drifted through my head. Somehow, impossibly, Shining betraying her trust and Cadance turning to me for comfort. They both betrayed Celestia out of love for me, and we ruled Equestria together. Once I woke from a dream, panting and soaked in sweat. I had dreamed Shining put me in a collar and petted me, telling me what a good little bug I was for surrendering, while Cadance did wonderful things to me that made me collapse to my knees. I couldn't tell if I was terrified or desperately aroused, and in the end I had to throw myself into a cold mountain lake to even pretend to go back to sleep.

And all through this, the invasion plans progressed. We harvested love, and I used it to lay enough soldier eggs to put us far over sustainable capacity. We cycled the active warriors through hibernation pods to ensure they all received training while holding off starvation. My spies brought back reports of guard dispositions. And Best Moon funds, along with carefully planted rumors and research, led to Luna embarking for Somnambula on a long quest to recover her ancient swords. I was Queen, I had to do my best. It had to be worth it in the end. It was shaping up to be one of my greatest victories, and it made me sick.


It's amazing how close you can grow to somepony, and how quickly. Friendship is...well, you know. We'd barely known each other for two months, and between the wedding planning and my royal duties and her business we hadn't seen each other nearly as much as we wanted. But with the constant letters and the instant connection we had felt it seemed we had known each other forever. Known each other well enough to ask anything.

One night, she asked me about Shining Armor.

"Cadance..." she asked, and for once there was a crack in her endless confidence, "how do you love Shining?"

I paused to think before I answered, confused. Not why, but how. She'd asked so seriously, and I didn't even know what she wanted. "I don't know what you mean" I finally admitted.

"You love him. He's the light of your world." She stated it as an absolute fact, which it was. "I know why. But I don't understand how. Especially when..." and then she looked down. And I understood. I'd seen that expression before. "...when you know you're going to see him grow old and die?"

I winced, even though I'd known what was coming. I wanted to be mad at her for asking, but I couldn't blame her. Everyone thought it eventually, if they thought at all. Of course Chrysanthemum would be one of the few willing to risk asking aloud. And even she looked deeply uncomfortable, something which I thought was impossible. I sighed, let the anger go before it formed, and thought how I'd reply.

"Ponies don't understand love" I eventually said. "They think you can only truly love one pony, or love one at a time. But it doesn't work that way. I've never married before, but Shiny isn't the only pony I've loved. And Harmony willing he won't be the last. He knows that." I smiled sadly, remembering all our talks about this very topic. "He knows that, and he's giving me his whole life even though I can't give him mine. Because he really does understand the most important truth. Love doesn't take away. Love is a gift. What matters is what we do with it when it comes."

Chrissi nodded. She looked sad, and small somehow. That was not what I was expecting. And then I realized something.

"But that's not what you were asking is it?" I said softly. She looked up sharply. "I'm sorry if I'm misunderstanding, okay? And I don't want to pry even if I'm right. But, have you lost somepony you loved?"


My face fell. Of course. Of course she could see right through me. This is why you should never let others get so close.

"Yes" I said. "But not the way you mean. Family, not a lover." She nodded, not saying a word. And it came to me that she had meant it. She wouldn't demand more than I would tell, wouldn't judge. She really did just want to help her friend, who she saw was in pain.

"I miss my sisters" I said quietly. It slipped out before I could stop it. Cadance looked at me in surprise. Of course I hadn't told her about them, even in hints. No one knew about them, after all these centuries. No one but me. "It's the strangest thing. We fought. Said horrible things to each other, betrayed each other. We were rivals in everything." Memories were rushing back, ones I usually kept locked away. Old battles flashed before my eyes, reeking of smoke and ichor. "But what I never understood... if anyone threatened any of us, we'd all fight for each other like manticores." Mantodea pulling me from a minotaur prison cell, her face covered in old scars from my claws. Standing united against Dragonlord Firestar, driving him from the wastes. A truce, one winter solstice, pretending we'd never molted and the Brood War never came. Some of my feelings must have shown on my face, because Cadance wrapped me in a comforting wing. I didn't need comfort. It was an old wound. I was Queen. I was strong. I snuggled close beside her.

"What happened to them?" Cadance asked gently.

"They died. A long time ago." The memories kept coming. I saw Lepidoptera's last stand in her brood chamber, a wall of my soldier's corpses before a ravaging behemoth. Tasting Mantodea's blood, sure it was another body double, only to feel sick recognition...and even deeper sickness as the toxin she had eaten at the last took hold on me. Treacherous to the end. The final duel with Apocrita as the storm raged and her parasitic larva twisted in my chest. I was appalled to find I was crying, shuddering and sobbing as she held me, but I couldn't stop. "I miss them. I miss them so much. I always tell myself they're why I have to fight so hard, make it worth it. I promised I would make them proud."

Cadance just held me, making shushing noises and stroking my mane. "It's alright Chrysanthemum. It's alright little flower." It was comforting, but at the same time it felt like I was being stabbed. Calling my full name and a pet name to call on foalhood memories like I actually had them, like this wasn't just fake. It wasn't alright, it would never be alright, and she didn't know why. Could never know why. Everything I'd thought earlier about her loving who I really am was wrong. I was a monster, I had always been a monster. I'd just let myself pretend otherwise for a while. I pulled away from her like she was burning me. "Chrissi..." she said. But she didn't reach for me. I could see her struggling not to, and I'll never be able to express how much I appreciated that.

"I'm sorry" I managed to choke out. "Thank you, for everything. I have to go but I mean it. Thank you." And I staggered out of the house, despondent, leaving behind an alicorn staring after me with wide eyes.


She hadn't gotten far by the time I caught up with her. She was far too upset to fly, after all. She was trudging down the street, quietly sobbing, and the sight almost broke my heart.

"Chrissi please wait" I said. She didn't turn around, didn't look at me. But she did stop. "I'm sorry I brought up something so painful for you. And we don't have to talk anymore, or even be in the same room if you don't want to okay? But...you shouldn't be completely alone. Not when you're like this. Stay the night? Please?"

"Alright" she said after a moment, so quietly I could barely hear her. She didn't move though. I walked up to her cautiously, extended a wing to guide her, ready to pull away if she flinched. She didn't, rustling under my wing and up against me as I led us back. "Thank you" she said, even more quietly.

I took her inside and led her to the bed, blessing my horn as I tucked her in the sheets while making tea in the kitchen. Shining was sleeping in the officer's quarters tonight, something we'd normally both be cursing, but tonight it worked out well. Her sobs had died down to hiccups as I brought her the cup of fresh tea. She sipped it quietly.

"Cadance" she asked, looking up at me. "Can love make you change? Can it... make you a better pony?"

I sighed sadly. That was another question I got often, usually in horrible circumstances. "No" I answered. This was a hard truth I had always sworn to be honest about. The cost of doing otherwise was too high. "It can make you want to be better, and it can bring out your best qualities. But love won't change anypony. Not your love or somepony else's. They have to do that themselves." On instinct I bent down and kissed her forehead. "I don't think you're a bad pony, no matter how much you're hurting or what you feel guilty for. If somepony has hurt you, it's not because you didn't love them enough. And if they're still hurting you," I added, my voice going cold, "you only have to tell me and I will make them stop. Okay?"

Chrissi nodded quietly. "Cadance, could you...please hold me while I sleep?" I felt my heart break again. She just wanted comfort and looked like she thought she was asking for the Sun and Moon. Without a word I slipped into bed and held her close.


I had a moment of clarity that night, drifting to sleep in the arms of the mare I loved. It came calmly, and with complete and utter conviction. Cadance, I thought, you're going to destroy me.


One night, weeks later, Chrissi and I were staggering out of the Flamingo Dance Club. I had my favorite swishy ladybug dress and top hat, while she had another of the suits she preferred. We had finally had our dance or three, and what dances they were. We were sweaty, our back legs were aching, and we were glowing fit to rival the club's neon sign.

"We have conquered!" Chrissi was happily proclaiming. "Laid low our enemies and swept all before us in complete domination!"

"Chrissi, it was only a dance off" I said. But I couldn't even pretend to make it sound like a rebuke.

"Only a dance off so hot it set the floor on fire. They will never rise from the ashes of their defeat! I guarantee you, between the two of us, everyone in that club is still putting their eyes back in their sockets and picking their mouths off the floor."

I giggled a bit. "Well...maybe. Or definitely. But you still don't see me gloating about it."

"You enjoy the moment your way, I'll enjoy it mine. But you can't deny it was a moment. I thought I was good, but when you took the lead...whew. I didn't know the equine body could move that way."

"It doesn't, not by itself" I said with a grin. "That's part of why I love it so much. Swing was a minotaur dance, it's made for bipeds. The only way ponies can do it is by cooperating. And," I added, bumping hips "to really shine you need the right partner."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Are you going to tell me now that learning to move together in a new and unfamiliar way is a metaphor for love?"

"Oh I have a whole lecture on ways to make it a metaphor" I replied. "Love, sex, diplomacy...Shiny's rubbed off on me." I saw her snort at that and I rolled my eyes myself. She didn't even need to say the double entendres aloud anymore. "It is also complete hogwash. Anything can be a metaphor if you want it to be. I just like dancing. Especially with you."

She gave me another of her strange quirked smiles, and completely unexpectedly wrapped me in a close hug. I leaned into it, sighing happily. And just like that I felt my heart glowing, felt the rosy glow even as she backed up, still smiling, and gestured for me to walk along beside her. Oh no, I thought. That's all I need. At least please, Harmony, let it be unreciprocated. Out of respect for her privacy I'd kept my magic to myself since we met. But I reached out now. And there it was, a mutual love bond clear as day. Young still, just infatuation, but with deep potential and strong for its age.

Well, I thought, that's just great.


The night of our dance I woke to contractions, gravid and my bed already full of eggs. Embarrassment at laying in my sleep warred with shock. This was impossible. I knew I didn't have enough love for more eggs, never mind the other prerequisite. The closest I had come all week was that dance with Cadance. And no matter how intense it was, that wouldn't have been enough. Sex wasn't strictly required for changeling reproduction, but laying could only be triggered by some form of physical intimacy with someone...who...was giving you love...

The gasp came from another set of eggs emerging at that moment, not from panic. That arrived completely separately.


It's another hard truth that not all love can or should lead to a relationship. Not even mutual love with no complications, where all partners try their best to make things work. Too many ponies have torn themselves apart for a love, genuine and strong, that led nowhere happy when acted on.

I know that I can hold many loves in my heart without competition or jealousy. It's simply a fact of my life. And I know Shining Armor's heart as well as my own, and it's also a fact that he can't. It isn't a flaw. When he loves he devotes himself completely, body heart and soul. But it's the way he's made. He would see the necessary compromises of such a relationship as a betrayal, especially on his part, and then blame himself for not being accepting enough. He would leave in tears, convinced he wasn't who I needed, when in truth his love had always been far more than enough.

I was resolved to talk to Chrysanthemum, and soon, so we wouldn't have to lose each other. Be honest about everything, so we could work together to end our infatuation and come out as friends. Transitioning Eros to Philia is a tricky process to navigate, but I'm the Princess of Love. If it can be done, I can do it.

All those plans were cut short when I received the letter saying we had to talk, privately, and soon.


Cadance loved me. It was a simple thing really. But that means nothing. Gravity is a simple thing. I was in utter turmoil. She loved me. She was my friend. I've been literally thousands of people ponies have loved. Mares, stallions, griffons, minotaurs... it's a very good trick. Be the one they think you are, take the love that's meant for someone else. Sex, cuddles, a home cooked meal...you could have it all.

She loved me.

And all her love would cost would be betraying my sisters.

We hatched alone. We grew up together, fighting to survive in the wastes. All we had was each other. Until the day of our last molting, when our genes revealed Discord's sick joke. There can only be one Queen.

Everything had to be worth it. I had to make it worth it for what I did to them. I had to make them proud. There was only one right thing to do. It should have been an easy choice. It had never even been a choice before. And now that it was one, I couldn't bear to make it.

I was sitting on a park bench when Cadance arrived. Ordinarily you'd be lucky to find somewhere with no audience, but what in Tartarus is an army of shapeshifters for? Cadance looked sad, which just proved she was no idiot. I have better taste then that.

I knew I was being snippy to avoid breaking down completely, and tried to stifle it. Later I could scream and rant and be as utterly petty as I like, but this was not the time.

"Chrissi," she said, and I almost shattered at the sound of her voice. I desperately raised a hoof to silence her.

"Wait! Wait" I said. "I need to talk. And I can't hear you right now. I couldn't bear it." She nodded silently, and sat down next to me. She always listens, I thought, feeling a stab in my heart. She always knows what I need. "For months now I've been in agony" I began. "And it isn't your fault. It's mine. I loved you, almost since the day we met. And because I knew you didn't love me back, it's been a wonderful torture." Cadance closed her eyes and winced at that, but she said nothing. "You shouldn't blame yourself. I was happy, Cadance. I mean it. Your friendship has meant more to me than you can know. But something changed." I put my hoof under her chin and raised it to look her in the eye. "Cadance, just one word. Do you love me?"

"Yes" she whispered back. And I felt myself shake, even though I already knew it had to be true. I desperately wanted to kiss her, more than I've wanted to kiss anyone in my life. I didn't.

She kissed me.

Just once. Just long enough for the rest of the world to vanish. Just long enough that when she forcibly pulled herself back it felt like part of myself tore away with her.

Cadance's eyes were closed, her face was pained. "Why couldn't you have been born in another century?" She said quietly. It was meant to be rhetorical of course, but I started laughing. It was infectious. It was bitter and sad and hilarious and we couldn't stop even when we started crying. For a few minutes we just held each other, laughing like mad mares. Maybe we were.

"I love you Cadance" I whispered. "I'm yours. But...but this is going to destroy me. If you want me, take me. Please. You have no idea how much I want you to. But if you love me, please. Leave. Leave and never speak to Chrysanthemum Crown again."

And Cadance stood, looking at me with sad eyes and a tear stained face, struggling to speak, before finally turning and galloping away. And I collapsed shaking to the bench.

So that was it then, I thought as the world spun around me. Because she loved me and gave it freely, because she wouldn't claim what was hers, we were enemies. There was a lesson there I suppose. I started laughing again. A drone who had been approaching to check on me turned and ran. I laughed even more at that, and stood. Green fire flared as I returned to my true form.

So that's the way it has to be then. I'll fight you, Cadance. I'll fight you with everything I have, for my sisters and my hive. You gave me that, in the end. You let me do the right thing even if it tore out both our hearts. I'll always thank you for that. And I'll always love you. And that's perfect. I'm very good at killing what I love. So fight back hard. Please, please fight back as hard as you can.

Please don't let me hurt you.

Comments ( 73 )

I no we need a sequel for this, maybe a hundred years after?

Ri2
Ri2 #2 · Aug 14th, 2018 · · ·

I knew it was going to end in tears. Doesn't make it hurt any less.

Thanks for entering! I can't wait to read it!

Excellent read but I can't help wanting a happy ending. We know where this goes canonically.

my god what a good read but....

WHAT!?!?

I need MOAR!!! :D

I understand what you were going for though and it was absolutely splendid. I really do hope you write a full fledged sequel. I want to see them have their happy ending dammit! PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!!

Maybe after the invasion? and then cut forward a hundred years? that would be very interesting indeed.

Love your work man, keep it up!

Wonderfully woven in. A pleasure to read.

There is no way this is going to end well.

Why not?

Oh, man, I do love a good Chrydance.

Beautiful, truly beautiful.

I’d absolutely love seeing them meet again in a sequel. My heartfelt congratulations on such a wonderful perspective.

I presume meeting again after years of (likely bloody) combat would not do good things to there relationship. Especially given their resolutions at the end of this story.

Assuming that Chrysalis even ever decides to tell Cadence about that time they were in love with each other.

All that being said I do love fluff...

Comment posted by zxzxzxzxzx24 deleted Aug 15th, 2018

This fucking hurts man.

I must say, this was an extremely well-done story, and I say that as a fellow competitor. Hopefully, I'll be able to match your story in quality.

I like how you managed to squeeze canon to make the pairing work and how the love affected CHrysalis in the Season 2 finale. The only note I would have is that the changelings never had a front company in canon. But beyond that, this was very canon-accurate. Well done!

Oh, that is a rare hurt indeed. I didn't need my heart anyway. :pinkiesad2:

Seriously, not many "sad" romances actually feel this heartbreaking. Damn good job.

Ah, so many problems could be solved with a good Herd. Chryssi and Cady could love one another and share Shining too.

Geez, twist that knife, why don’t you?

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That's really flattering. I'd certainly love to give them a happy ending, it was hard enough writing the tragedy ending in the first place. I wouldn't rule out an eventual happy ending, but things are going to get worse for Chrissi before they get better.


9110977

Thanks! I'm sure yours will be. I'm looking forward to reading it. And yeah, no canon front company. Then again, in this story no one found out about it yet either so...

And yeah, I was trying hard to stick to 'this could have actually happened offscreen'. And in turn alot of that became 'Why is Chrysalis the way she is.'

9111143

It would indeed. Cadance even knows it. Alas...

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Thank you, that's a huge compliment. I'm glad it worked. I guess they're telling the truth when they say authors have to be sadists, the original version was just petty and so I had to make everything worse until it worked.


9110752

It works far better than it's got any right to honestly. You wouldn't think the Princess of Love would have chemistry with the lovechild of Trixie and Queen Arachnea, and yet...

By the Shepard man, that was....wow...really well done!

"Chrissi and I were staggering of the Flamingo Dance Club"
"Chrissi and I were staggering out of the Flamingo Dance Club"?

"so hot it set the floor on ablaze."
"so hot it set the floor ablaze." or "so hot it set the floor on fire."?

"with deep potential and strong for it's age."
"with deep potential and strong for its age."?

"And I know Shining's Armor's heart"
"And I know Shining Armor's heart"?

"enough for the rest of world to vanish"
"enough for the rest of the world to vanish"?

You know, I'm actually kind of glad I missed seeing the "Tragedy" tag; the ending came as a surprise.
Quite a nice story!

edit:
...Oh, hah. And is the title a pun on "royal jelly"? :)

Tell me before I read it, potentially in a pm please, do Shining and Cadance break up in this story? I just don't think that I'm interessted in it if they are three persons in a relationship.

I don't read much that I like these days, but I liked this.
Would have liked maybe one last part from Cadence's perspective, though.
Maybe have Chrysalis decide to fake her alter-ego's death in a ploy to emotionally terrorize her "enemies" so that they're more sloppy and less prepared against fending off her invasion plan.
Chrysalis kidnaps Cadence in the guise of Chrissi, and Cadence is just entirely frozen at the sight of the seemingly dead mare and unable to defend herself.
When Chrysalis reveals her true form and nature, Cadence will instantly hate her, believing that this monster dared to take the form of her best friend just to attack her.
It would heart Chrysalis terribly, but she'd do it to herself willingly- a sort of self-punishment for what she's doing.

9111498
I am currently imagining Chrysalis revealing what she feels and how much she feels while she has Cadance alone underground in the mine. Telling her how they're going to be together forever now that she has her. Telling her how much Cadance taught her and her entire race about the ways and types of love, and how love itself works. Telling her how their time together meant so much to her.

And Cadance begging her to just come out and join her and Shiny. Being together and being happy. How she has enough love in her to feed her entire race and make sure they will never starve again. Begging her to love her and come out into the light and be with her...

And it hurts my heart.

I really hope you write a follow up to this. There needs to be some closure and some delicious drama to follow. Currently imagining post 'blasting off again' with Shiny and Cadance hunting down Chrysalis and the other Changelings to try and make it right.

Forgiveness is one of the biggest virtues of the ponies, after all. And second chances. Chrysalis/Shiny/Cadance deserves to work in some world.

9111498
I'll admit, I was kinda hoping the Chryssi would just say, "well, I can wait a few centuries," and just tell cadence the whole thing. But Chryssi has the guts to follow her duty as queen. props to her, for sticking to her guns.

I really want a happy to this. maybe Chrysalis bonding with flurry heart as an "imaginary friend?"

SO much potential. I really hope you do a sequel to this

tl;dr sequel pls

It has been awhile since I read a good tragedy that actually deserved the tag.

Like many commenters, I too would like to see a happy ending but sometimes the pain of a tragedy shouldn't be patched over.

Oh my goodness this was amazing. I'm with everyone else, a follow up would be fantastic (and probably insanely emotional)
Thank you for this amazing read.

Loved the story (and the SC references, big fan) :pinkiehappy: Well done!

great story, would also love to see a 'hundred years later' but this was a very well told and perfectly self-sufficient story on its own.

9111498
For me, experiments along the lines of "how close can I adhere to canon while revealing behind the scenes action that makes characters completely different" have a high failure rate. But this was so, so excellent. The thing is, I can't see this as actually taking place in canon, though it does seem to be technically canon-compliant up to A Canterlot Wedding. To me it's a beautiful, subtly different AU (subtly different, that is, from the show's POV and up to this point in history) that could have taken two different tacks: one, the path it took; two, Chrissi invites Cadance to a days-long super important meeting that turns out to be on the topic of "this is what I am and you're sort of kidnapped now, but please tell me how I can achieve my goals as ruler without invading Canterlot".

This was great. I am usually skeptical of tragic stories (in that quiteba few don't know what tragedy is) but this was great.

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As the author stated, it works quite well as to what happened behind the scenes. The explanation for Luna's curious absence still felt like a throw-away line however, but that too could be expanded into its own entire story considering there's not a single shred of evidence pointing to the plausible truth... much like the Changelings or a hundred pony hamlets across the Equestrian map themselves.

It's wonderfully amazing how much can be gleaned from these "missing moments" in the show. I eagerly await further explorations into the hidden lives of ponies and parasites. [No offence meant towards changelings]

So much glorious world building potential!

(My own OC pony town that didn't make the map is a little place I like to call Bucksnort-- no relation to the real Bucksnort, Tennessee)

This is a really good, complete and well though out fanfic, pretty rare in these days. The way you wrote it in dual perspectives is really impressive. Very smooth and both sides complement each other wonderfully, although at the end it seems a little bit lacking on Cadance's side. By the end you could go for very short, quick changes between Cadance and Chrysalis's perspectives, similar to dialogues between their mind, to keep them both in context and build up the climax and emotion even more.

Some people may find Cadance a little out of character as compared to canon in this fanfic, but because you laid out the events and built up the story and the relationship so well the readers can easily let that slide. Maybe some would prefer a little more restrained and innocent Cadance but it's not really essential.

I am also really impressed by the way you arranged the events and built up the relationship between Cadance and Chrysalis. First was humor and unexpected side of their characters that attracted them and got them to know each other (chapter 1), then mutual enjoyment (the O&O thing), sexual attraction and intimacy (chapter 2), then revelation of vulnerable side which deepened their relationship and the resolve of conflict (chapter 3). Very logic and really well thought out. I bet you must have spent a lot of time planning out the core of the story. Really worth the praise. However, if it was me I would bring the Dance Club event to the end of chapter 2, after the O&O event. It's an event that builds up the intimacy between Cadance and Chrysalis, therefore it should belong to chapter 2. Like that it would smooth the flow of the story better. As of now it feels a little out of place and disruptive of the emotional build up. Also I feel it a little desirable that Cadance would share more of her vulnerable side with Chrysalis before the climax, maybe her frustration with the way ponies treating her as decoration or her responsibility or such, and then have Chrysalis comfort her, which deepens her feeling for Chrysalis. As in the story now Cadance falls a little short as compared to Chrysalis in her emotional development from friendship to love.

The conflict is not very unique. But the way you wrote it make it very believable and emotional. However, combining dialogues and monologues in the same paragraph is a little bit confusing. Maybe you should put flashback and present, and dialogues and monologues in different paragraphs. Don't write them in the same paragraph, separated only by quotation mark, it's difficult to follow. Give short, powerful paragraphs, like "The memories kept coming." and line break.

A little revise and this should earn 1000 likes.

Deliciously tragic.

... I knew I shouldn't have finished this until tomorrow... Dangit. I did not need to read a tragedy before bed. XD

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I NEED MORE I NEED MORE I NEED MOOOOOOOOOORE!

I especially want to know how Discord made them this way.

And their stories.

Hooomagod that was good

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I approve of your choice of expressions.

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Glad the surprise worked, albeit by accident. Thanks for the editing!

And yes, it definitely is.

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Yeah, I could probably do with more Cadence near the end. Ah well, live and learn. And Chrysalis is definitely messed up enough to do that to herself, though I'm not sure if she really did.

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I may or may not do a sequel, haven't decided. But if you ever feel like it, I recursive fanfic is always fun...

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Not imaginary friend, fairy godmother...
Glad you enjoyed it.
And yep, she's too twisted up not to stick to her guns. I think the best tragedies come where there was a better option but the characters, for reasons that make perfect sense to them, don't take them.

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I really like that one. It's about as close as she'd let herself get to trying to work things out. I may or may not write it, but if you ever feel like doing your take on it, like I said recursive fanfic is a thing :pinkiehappy:

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Thanks a ton for the con crit, I really appreciate it.

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Glad I could manage an exception this time

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According to one of fan theories, Guard barracks is pretty much than.

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"Thanks for the editing!"
You're welcome!

"And yes, it definitely is."
Nice. :)

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I'm honored by your blessing, but I worry that I would take forever and the result would still be garbage. Maybe someday I'll give it a shot, or you will, or someone else (yes this is my permission, not that it's needed!)—either way, I hope to see it.

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9119021

Considering writing a sequel, since you seem pretty eager for someone to do so.

"No" I answered. This was a hard truth I had always sworn to be honest about. The cost of doing otherwise was too high. "It can make you want to be better, and it can bring out your best qualities. But love won't change anypony. Not your love or somepony else's."

Another excellent tidbit and a fine ending. I wouldn't mind another sequel, but this is fine on it's own. An equally tragic sequel could be enticing too!

Chryssi does have quite the problem and tragedy on her hooves, but she's also willing to go through with this invasion, even if she's rather torn up because of it. She may not be able to see them as clearly, and yet she doesn't have to do this. Still, she goes through with a plan that will hurt others.

9111143 not quite? For that to work, the parties involved would have to be poly. And not everyone is poly. So just saying 'oh let's ship/have all three/four/however many together' doesn't always work. Doubly so if there's sexual orientations that aren't compatible. It's not a perfect solution, or even the most ideal. If one party only desires a relationship with another, then no matter how heartbroken the third (or fourth and so on) is, it's just not going to happen.

9111498
It'd probably not be impossible to write a sequel, if you do decide to. The simplest solution would be to set your 'happy ending' a few centuries apart in time, like Cadance suggested. Only in the future, not the past. Or even a century, really. You seem to be going with Cadance and Chrysalis being immortal or at least very long lived and I'm pretty sure Shining isn't. Although, Cadance recognizing Chrysalis by her emotions during the Wedding would also be interesting.

That said, don't feel pressured, only write if you want to and you've got a story to tell there.

9128539
i.imgur.com/kW2Tkn7.jpg

Can't link to the comic itself since it is very, VERY NSFW.

Why must you make my eyes water!

It's true what they say, poison comes in small packages. This was short but very powerful.

Nick Cave's Do You Love Me? comes to mind

I found her on a night of fire and noise
Wild bells rang in a wild sky
I knew from that moment on
I'd love her till the day that I died
And I kissed away a thousand tears
My lady of the Various Sorrows
Some begged, some borrowed, some stolen
Some kept safe for tomorrow
On an endless night, silver star spangled
The bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle

9131936
Good music always helps. When writing it I was listening to Please Don't Make Me Love You

Wow. Honestly some of the best Cadence characterization I have seen.

It was kinda like watching a historical drama, like, you know how this has to end but you're still hoping for it to work.

9131936 "Where the Wild Roses Grow" by the same also seems to fit what follows.

9111143 too bad Shining isn't a herd lover.

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