Pleasuring Techniques and Other Weird-Ass Stories

by Regidar

Dawn Somewhere

IN LE FUTURE

"You know," Pound Cake told his sister. "I thought by now we would have different beds."

"Yeah, I always wondered about that. We have two beds..." Pumpkin Cake pointed out, gestering to the other bed on the far side of the room.

A greying yellow stallion poked his head in the room. "Did you two have an illicit incestious love affair that could garner our family media coverage and save our failing business yet?"

The two foal rolled their eye.

"No, dad," they chanted in unison.

"Drat!" Carrot Cake said with a pout. "Well, if you ever change your mind, I'll just leave these things here!" The stallion rushed about the room, lighting scented candles, dimming the lights to a suggestive level, and leaving roses all about. To top it off, he dropped a small pile of gags, riding crops, and dildos in the center of the room next to a bottle of lube and a copy of "Ponysutra". "You know, if you guys change your minds..."

Their father departed, leaving the two foals in a very awkward possession.

"Dang, the business must be going really bad if he wants us to get into a relationship to drum up some extra bits," Pound observed, blowing out the scented candle closest to him.

"Well, it's not going to work," Pumpkin said determinedly.

"Hey," she whispered to her brother.

"Yeah?"

"How do you stay so cheerful all the time?" Her voice held on to tones of sadness.

"Well, the way that I look at it, it's always dawn somewhere, right?" He smiled at his sister, which instilled a bit of hope into her heart.

The two foals turned their backs to each other, and prepared for sleep. They were soon inturnupted by a large black man kicking down their door.

"IT'S RAPIN' TIME!" He bellowed in his black man voice. The two foals screamed as the dark skinned invader held up a tube of vassalin.

Down below, Carrot Cake cackled canivingly. "Black Rapist Target's Cake Foals! This will hit the headlines for SURE!"

Comments

[David Leatherhuff]

.....

Okay.

[Regidar]

2035057 Yes indeedy.

[Erebos]

Another hit by regidar

[FlimFlix]

i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/043/937/WTFAMIREADING.JPG 10/10

[Regidar]

2035135 I hope the rest of the chapters bring you joy as well.

[Greenfang Neverclear]

Jumping as the green knight suddenly appeared next to him, he too looked over the city. And instead of a sense of fear, or anger or anything a reasonable person would have, he simply poked Red in the side and pointed. And anyone with half a brain could tell what he was saying.
"Hey Red...Red, Red, see that city? Red, see the; Red do you see that city? Because, Red, because I'm going to, Red I'm going to crash that city. It'll be godlike."

[Sliverfish]

Wat

[Mike the Red]

That is so wrong on so many levels, but I LOL'd -- am I a bad person for that?

[Night Sky]

What. The fuck did i just read.

[Perception Filter]

2035415 Who?

[Delicious]

2036014

You're not the only one.

[Mickey the Luxray]

what the actual fuck

[rainbowcrasherloops]

Un-pc, buck yeah!!!

[Ignaltus]