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Pleasuring Techniques388 words
Cooking is Magic266 words
Humans Exist487 words
The Mare in the Window234 words
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Never Loose a Bet510 words
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Humans Exist

Lyra was working down in the anthropology department, studying a leaf, when suddenly, it all made sense.

“I’ve done it!” she screamed, laughing and prancing about her office. Then the horror of the situation hit her. “I must warn the others!” A goofy grin spread across her face. “IN SONG!”

Bon-Bon was eating some Frosted Flakes when suddenly Lyra kicked down the door. “What the-”

THIS SONG HERE IS WHAT YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO WHILE LYRA SINGS

“Hey Bon-Bon, there’s something in the backroom...”

Bon-Bon facehoofed. “Oh no, she’s singing again...”

“Hope it’s not those creatures from above...”

“We’ve been through this...”

“I used to tell you stories, but you thought they were boring, you think my conspiracies are dumb...”

Bon-Bon grabbed a fork and walked over to the toaster.

Lyra pranced outside, as Colgate just happened to be walking by. “What if ponies knew humans were real?” Colgate looked uncomfortable, and backed away slowly.

Lyra grabbed Colgate by the cheeks and got real close, and sang “I’d laugh and say ‘I told you so...’” Colgate silently began to cry.

Lyra jumped up into a trashcan and sang upon the crowd of bewildered ponies “But I know that Celestia would say ‘What Lyra says is all hearsay’ I wish somepony would tell me I was right..”

Carrot Top and Derpy glanced at each other, unsure of what to think. Lyra continued on to the chorus.

“Up all night long, And I know there's something wrong... They think I'm crazy... They don't understand my theory... I'm not like you guys, I'm not like you...”

“Yeah, I think we all figured that out!” yelled a random background pony.

“I once sat like a human... to prove a point to all you guys. I gave a demonstration, to let you know of the invasion, the humans won’t stop until every one of us dies.” The ponies started to become uncomfortable with Lyra’s song. She repeated the chorus again, then continued with the next verse.

“Killers, silent, evil, viloint, I’ll be hiding, while you’re fighting, Homo Sapian.”

Bon-Bon walked out of the house, her hair in an afro and the faint smell of ozone on her. Colgate slid over to her and asked “Is she always like this?”

Bon-Bon sighed and pulled up a cigarette. “Pretty much.”

Another chorus, and Lyra’s song was over. “Thank you, thank you! I’d like you all to thanks the writer of these, lyrics, Elijah!” A chained up fourteen year old lay next to her.

“Can I leave now?”

“Shut up, slave.” Lyra whipped Elijah to keep him quiet.

Colgate shook her head. “Why do you put up with her, Bon-Bon?”

“She’s great in bed.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, like, astounding. It makes me able to put up with...” Bon-Bon looked over at Lyra whipping Elijah as he wrote down something on a leaf “...That.”

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