4 - Press X to Pony
Carla Arvil - 4/25/2018
Eventide Hall - Canterlot Suburbs, Equestria
Carla reached down, hoping to grab Shining by his shoulders. Her hooves poked into his soft fur. Carla opened her mouth for a moment, closed it, then took a deep breath. “FUCK!”
She took a moment to stare at her hoof, turning it over to look at it from every angle, her stomach slowly tightening.
They built this building. They made replicas of my furniture. Shining mentioned other kinds of pony. Pegasi, specifically. His magic seems to be related to his horn. Pegasi don’t have a horn. They need some way to manipulate things too…
Carla looked around herself, trying to work out a way to manipulate things without hands. Nothing came to mind, aside from poking things with her tongue, and she didn’t fancy the idea of tasting everything for the rest of her life.
Carla’s brow furrowed as she poked Shining’s shoulder repeatedly. “Hey. Hey! Wake up.”
Shining’s eyes snapped open. The stallion yelped and scrambled up to his hooves, producing an ear-folding screech of keratin on floorboards. “I’m up! Sorry, I—” The stallion’s eyes sparkled with delight. “— You got your cutiemark! In kissing me!”
Carla raised an eyebrow. “Uh, explain that. Then explain how I pick things up.”
“Cutiemarks. Magical symbols which embody a special talent, and boost your own skill at that talent. It’s like a unique spell everypony has that makes them better at what they are best at.” Shining turned his hindquarters to the side, showing off the image of a shield on his flanks. “For example, I’m very good at producing shield spells. You’re apparently really awesome at kissing me. Or maybe just kissing, but I’d rather it be me specifically.”
Carla pointed to the mark emblazoned on her flank. “This is normal?”
“Um, more than normal. Most ponies don't get them till their mid teens. It’s sort of what marks you as an adult. Like getting a driver's license for humans.”
Carla rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t the kiss. I sensed an emotional connection between us, then it happened. And NO not in the Hallmark Card bullshit way, I literally felt a physical link.”
Shining’s ears flopped down slightly. “Aww, sadness… Well, empathy is a common talent. And useful too! As for picking things up, I’m glad you asked. Because uh, well… Follow me out into the hallway. There’s going to be an annoyance to get through before I can take you to see the Princess.”
Shining turned and trotted over to the doors. Carla’s eyes narrowed. “An annoyance?”
“Y— Yeah… It’s totally my fault too. The Princess asked me how most humans learn new skills outside of school and the first thing that came to mind was— Uh, look, let’s just do it. I’m really embarrassed about the whole thing sooo, yeah.”
Carla rolled her eyes and willed herself to walk towards the door. It was rough going, she shook and wobbled for the first three steps. Then her legs gave out sending her crashing to the floor. “Oof!”
Shining winced and gently lifted the mare up with his magic, his blue aura gently lifting her by her shoulders. “Don’t worry. I did that when I went biped for the first time too. It’s called Shapechanger Syndrome. Your body knows how to move itself, but your mind remembers a different way of doing things. You need to not think about what you’re doing.”
Carla slowly moved her legs beneath herself. “And how do I do that?”
Shining blushed and kicked the floor with a hoof. “Well, for me, I would pretend I was playing an RPG and narrate things in my head. You know ‘Shining armor moves to the cabinet and searches it for traps… Twenty-Two for the spot check.” That sort of thing.”
Carla frowned, cocking her head to one side. “So… Think of yourself as a character you’re directing in a story?”
Shining smiled. “Yeah!”
“I can do that.”
Carla took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Carla walked to the door.
Carla walked to the door. She didn’t stumble, she didn’t trip. She didn’t walk gracefully, but she still made her way to the door.
Shining flashed her a smile. “There you go! You’ll keep that up for a while then everything will go second nature and it will be just like being human! Uh, well, if you stayed like this.”
“Which I won't be,” Carla said as she reached for the door handle.
Her hoof paused as it neared the metal. “How do I grab things? Can I grab things?”
“Of course!” Shining trotted over to the door and gripped the handle with his hoof, pulling it open.
Carla’s brow furrowed as she watched his hoof stick to the door like a magnet. “I can hear physics crying.”
“Tactile Telekinesis. Touch something, envision lifting it, and it will stick. Everypony can do it.” Shining blushed and trotted through the open door. “Oookay so… I’m totally sorry. She made me do it.”
Carla trotted forwards, stepping through the door into the warmly painted colonial styled hallway. “Did what? Decorate the hallway like a—”
The hallway melted into whiteness as Carla passed through the doorway. The door behind her vanished, leaving her stranded alongside Shining in an endless plane of whiteness. Carla yelped. Shining hid his face in his hooves. A cheerful mare’s voice came from everywhere and nowhere at once.
“Welcome to Equestria! There’s just a few things you need to know before you can get started.”
A small table with three cylinders sitting atop it grew out of the ground.
“Please walk over to the table and stack the cylinders.”
Carla looked at Shining, dipping her head down so her mane fell in front of her eyes. “You made a tutorial level?!”
“She asked me what the most common method of learning outside of school was!” Shining groaned. “I tried to explain these only teach you how to play a game but the idea was “Completely prefect and suited to the situation.” I’m sorry! I know it’s dumb…”
Carla rubbed her left temple with a hoof. “There’s no way to get out of this… whiteness, other than finishing it. Is there?”
Shining shook his head. “Nope… I don’t know how to close Pocket Spaces.”
“Okay.”
Carla mentally ordered herself to walk to the table. Narrowly avoiding bumping into it, she extended her hoof, touched the cylinder on the left and focused as hard as she could on picking it up. An energetic force tingled in her hoof, both telling her she was holding something round and that it was smooth.
Stacking the cylinders was trivial. The outer two rested one atop the other within mere seconds.
“Good job!” the Tutorial Mare said. “Now place each cylinder on the table on their sides. You can rotate an object you’re holding without turning your foreleg.”
“How the hell do I do that?” Carla asked as her face scrunched up.
Shining cleared his throat. “It’s telekinesis. Not a hand. Imagine it turning, and it will.”
Carla nodded and lifted the top cylinder. Holding it out at leg’s length she pictured it turning clockwise. The cylinder twitched. Carla focused harder. It slid slightly, twitched, then rotated in place on her hoof. A moment later and each cylinder lay on its side as instructed.
The table sank back into the ground. “Good job! Now we will begin with the basics of moving objects with magic!”
The table and cylinders reemerged, this time a good twenty meters from Carla and Shining.
“Magic is different for everypony. Each type of magic is tied to an emotion. You can learn to cast each kind without using that emotion, but this takes time. Fortunately, telekinesis is something every unicorn can do on instinct! Just imagine you have an extra leg. It’s invisible, and attached to your horn. Use it to stack the cylinders.”
Carla rolled her eyes. “Who recorded this? They sound like you, but a girl. Do you have a sister?”
Shining’s blush deepened immensely. “Uh, I do… But she’s a civilian. And I’m the only agent assigned to you.”
“Meaning?”
“I recorded this…”
Carla smirked and bit her lip to hide it. “You do good voice impressions.”
Shining rubbed the back of his head and looked off into the not-sky. “Nooo… I shapechanged into myself, but a mare, and recorded it. Don’t look at me like that! The Princess ordered me to do it after I said the voice over is usually a girl.”
Carla laughed and closed her eyes, a smile parting her lips. Let’s not get too distracted. This thing could take forever. Okay. Extra “leg”. But on my horn. That’s so fucking weird to think about…
Carla closed her eyes more tightly and focused her every thought on picking up the distant cylinder.
Shining smiled as Carla’s horn began to glow an especially girly pink. His smile became a frown as he began to glow.
“Uh, Carla?”
Carla opened her eyes and turned her head just in time to see Shining lift off the ground and begin orbiting around her. “Oh, uh… Oops?”
Shining stared at Carla with an unamused, and very much blank, stare as he finished his second orbit. “This is not telekinesis, Carla. This is a levitation spell.”
Carla turned her head to try to keep eye contact with Shining as he drifted clockwise around her. “How do we fix this?”
“Not we. You. I could break this spell, but dispelling magic hurts the caster. Badly. It’s a combat technique, or used by the police in emergencies. You need to fix this.”
Carla bit her lip. “Okay, how?”
Shining opened his mouth then facehooved. “Canceling spell effects is part sixty-one of this tutorial level…”
Carla’s eyes widened. “How many parts are there?”
Shining completed his third orbit. “Sixty-two.”
Carla’s ears lay back against her head. “Well, I’d better fucking get to it.”
She turned her attention to the distant cylinders and reached for her magic to try again.
An hour and a half as well as forty-three tries later, Carla had finally finished all ten telekinesis tutorials. Shining had not emerged from this unscathed. The poor stallion was now floating upside down. His blue mane was now bright pink and trailing little purple hearts from each strand as they moved in an unseen wind. Additionally, he was emitting a lavender cloud of mist which tasted like cotton candy and smelt like rotten eggs and stale beef jerky.
Carla had seen her fair share of magical backlash as well. Her fur had gained a rather fetching metallic sheen, her mane became fashionably curled, and her wings properly preened.
Carla sighed as she trotted up to the starting block which had manifested themselves at the front of a small straight racetrack. I hate this so much… I would do anything to swap effects with Shining.
“That’s everything for the basic magic you’ll need to use in your day to day life for simple tasks!” Fem-Shining praised. “Let’s take a break from magic and learn how to run, jump, and fly. You’ll need to know how to do each of these things to get around Equestria properly.”
Shining drifted into Carla’s field of vision. “I’m so looking forward to you trying out hurdles.”
Carla rolled her eyes. “Why? You’re orbiting me at zero degrees inclination. If I trip, you’ll smack into the ground too.”
Shining extended a hoof to object then closed his mouth. “Carla?”
“Humm?”
“Don’t trip over the hurdles.”
A set of hurdles rose up from the ground. “Are you ready?” Fem-Shining asked. “On your mark, get set, go!”
Carla took a deep breath, let it out slowly and focused her mind. Carla ran forwards and jumped.
Despite her best efforts, Carla tripped over every hurdle. On each of her sixteen first attempts.
Two battered and bruised ponies stood on the edge of a deep canyon. A lake of warm water sat fifty meters below them, sending small wisps of steam into the air. Forty meters ahead of them was another cliff, one slightly taller than their own.
The site had been burned into Carla’s memory over the last forty hours.
Carla folded her wings and sat down, doing her best to ignore her twitching left eye. “We’ve been at this for DAYS!”
Shining waited till his orbit brought him into Carla’s view. “It only feels like days. Time flows at a different rate in here. It’s like the Hyperbolic Time chamber from—” Shining’s orbit carried him out of Carla’s sight. “— Oops! One moment.”
Carla turned her head to follow his orbit. “Dragon Ball. I know. You’ve said. That doesn't help. I didn’t watch anime in the nineties.”
Shining came around for another pass. “Oh, yeah! Uhhh, it’s like those old books about big kitties and clothing storage boxes… You know, there’s a witch involved too?”
Carla huffed.“You’ve already compared this to the Chronicles of Narnia.”
Shining nodded. “Right. So. We’ve really only been in here for maybe ten minutes of real time.”
Carla’s eye-twitch kicked into high gear. “But. I’ve. Still. Experienced. DAYS! Of. This. Bullshit.”
“Only two days so far,” Shining said with a smile. “And once we leave this Space, we’ll be in normal time and it will have seemed like only minutes. Cuz it really is only a few minutes.”
“That doesn't change how I feel NOW, and how I will remember this.”
Shining shrugged and gave Carla his most sympathetic frown. “Yeah well, at least the Princess made this Pocket Space provide meals and snacks. I didn’t include that in the design notes.”
Carla’s jaw dropped. “You didn’t think we would need to eat after being in here for DAYS?!”
Shining tilted his head and frowned, then facehooved. “Right. You're new to magic. No, we don't need to eat, sleep, or drink while in here. Not unless we were in here for so long that enough external time— Uh, Pocket Spaces only alter your perception of space and time. This is all in our heads, so you can configure it anyway you want. This one is set so one day in here is a minute out there.”
Carla’s twitching eye narrowed. “This is virtual reality? Then how does anything we do here matter?”
“Yeah! That’s exactly what this is! Thanks! Oh, but while this place isn’t real, knowledge you gain here is. The few unicorns powerful enough to cast this spell use their Pocket Spaces as laboratories for their more dangerous or lengthy experiments. You can set time to work however you need it to work, dying in here simply ends the spell, and you can conjure up anything you want.”
“Anything? Then why can’t it give me better instructions on how to fly!” Carla growled, slamming her hoof against the ground. “I am so tired of falling straight down into uncomfortably warm water!”
Shining reached out as if he were hugging Carla while he floated by. “So am I. It’s okay. I’m here for you… Exactly two and a half meters away. Moving clockwise. At two-ish meters per second.”
Carla waited for Shining to come around again before giving him an upset-yet-caring glare. “Why did you put canceling a spell after basically everything else?”
Shining took a deep breath. “I kinda told her that human game tutorials felt a bit random and a bit confusing in the order they teach you things.”
Carla nodded and sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. “Ah.”
“Are you having trouble?” Fem-Shining said in overly caring and loving tone of voice. “Remember, to fly, extend your wings away from you, spreading out your feathers as you feed your magic into them, then flap your wings really hard!”
Carla gave Shining another glare. “Why didn’t you get a pegasus to write the instructions for this part?!”
Shining threw his hooves “up” in the air, making their tips scrape the ground. “It’s a classified operation! What do you want me to do?”
Carla’s wings flapped rapidly as she inched towards the cliff. Almost… Almost… Almost…
Her mane was ragged, messy, and unkempt. Her eyes bloodshot. While the Pocket Space provided food, water, and beds, Celestia had forgotten to include showers, let alone a much-needed stiff drink.
Her forehooves reached for the solid ground. Come on! It’s right there!
Her wings burned. You’re not going to fall just before reaching it this time!
Carla’s forehooves touched the cliff. She grabbed on for dear life and pulled herself onto the raised cliff with a manic laugh. “HAHAHA! Fuck you, gravity! I win!”
Shining clapped his hooves together, smiling widely. “Yay! Good—”
“Good job!” Fem-Shining praised.
Shining’s ears drooped back as his eyes widened. “Oh no!”
Carla frowned. “What?”
The tutorial mare’s voice answered her question. “Next, we will teach you another critical component of pegasus flight. Hovering!”
Carla’s eye began to twitch again.
Shining floated into her view, his eyes watery as he looked into Carla’s eyes. “I’m so sorry!”
The cliff side melted away, leaving Carla standing on a tiny platform suspended over the middle of the uncomfortably warm lake. “In thirty seconds, this platform will disappear. Use your wings to hover in place until it comes back one minute later. I know you can do it!”
Carla’s vision went red as she primed the mother of all F-bombs.
“Good job!” Fem-Shining praised yet again. “Just ten more to go!”
A low electronic tone beeped softly in the distance. Carla’s ears swiveled to face the sound. “Fifteen feet away, five feet up.”
The prerecorded voice whimpered adorably. “I’m sorry, this simulation doesn't understand those units of measure.”
Carla rolled her eyes and smirked. “I’m remembering that you can make that sound.”
“The hay I can! That took nineteen takes,” Shining grumbled as he performed some mental arithmetic. “Four point six meters away, one and a half up.”
Carla nodded and showed the distance.
“Good job!” Fem-Shining praised yet again. “Just nine more to go!”
Shining shook his head as he drifted across Carla’s vision. “You’d think you could convert feet and meters, or understand meters. Given your old job.”
“Yeah well, you’d be surprised how much you can forget after years of not using something,” Carla grumbled.
“Well, at least this one is easy.”
“And useful!” Carla said with a smile. “I wish human hearing could do this.”
“And I wish pony eyes could see well in the dark.”
A high-pitched whistle sounded in the extreme distance.
Carla’s ears perked and tracked the noise. “You guys can’t see well in the dark?”
Shining shook his head. “Not compared to you guys. You’ll see in the vision segment.”
“That pun was terrible… Oh, uh, eighty feet out, at ground level.”
The prerecorded voice whimpered adorably. “I’m sorry, this simulation doesn't understand those units of measure.”
Shining silently wished he wasn’t faster at math than Carla. “Twenty-three point four meters.”
Carla cleared her throat. “Twenty-three point four out, at ground level.”
“Good job!” Fem-Shining praised yet again. “Just eight more to go!”
Carla turned her head to look at Shining. “Why metric units?”
Shining cleared his throat and adopted a motherly tone of voice. “What do humans measure things in, Mister Armor?” He changed his voice back to its normal energetic but masculine pitch. “Most use the metric system, but—” Shining changed back to the impression. “But what? Do some use more obscure systems?”
“Yes. But only two nations do. Metric is universally understood by their scientists. But—”
“Then set it up to understand metric. She’s smart and educated. She’ll know a global standard.”
Carla sighed and shook her head. “I used to… I mean, I still know what a liter is. Americans use liters.”
“Hopefully you didn’t forget any of your combat training,” Shining muttered to himself.
Carla rolled her eyes. “Well trained human brains don’t forget useful things like that. But metric? Only useful if you leave the States. Which I haven't in decades and never intended to do again.”
“Fair enough, I guess…”
Carla and Shining slept three times before the Pocket Space at last conjured a small room lined with bookshelves. Shining identified it as a mage’s study. A place to learn magic.
The tutorials' guidance on magic was thankfully more robust than flight.
“Magic is mostly based in willpower. You have a given amount of magical energy in you. It’s just like stamina, alertness, or mental focus. This is a resource you draw on and consume. Your body will produce more energy the more you use magic, just like how you gain more muscle the more you work out. You will also need to eat far more than you normally would if you use your magic frequently during a given time period. Again, just like working out.
“To use your magic you mentally direct your body to use your magic. It’s exactly the same as moving a leg, your head, or your tail. This is an act of willpower and requires focus and clarity. If your concentration is broken during a spell the magic may go wild and cause unintended effects. As an Alicorn, your lowest possible magical reserve far outstrips all but the freakishly powerful unicorns of the world. You must not allow yourself to become distracted mid spell. The consequences would be catastrophic.”
Carla sighed. “This is going to take forever, isn’t it?”
Shining offered her an apologetic shrug and smile. “Well, I am a unicorn. I actually know how to do this. Unlike flying.”
Carla nodded then blinked as she realized the tutorial mare had gone silent as they spoke. “Uh, is she “programmed” to be quiet if we’re talking?”
Shining nodded twice. “Yeah. Would you rather she repeated herself?”
Carla winced. “No! Please continue, Miss Tutorial.”
“Spells are analogous to martial arts for magic,” the voice resumed. “Telekinesis and creating light are the punches and kicks of magic. Anypony, even a foal, can do them but with time and training you can become amazing at them. If telekinesis is a punch, lighting a candle is a karate chop. Learning these spells takes time, understanding, repetition, and building a “thought memory” for the spell so it can be performed without thinking about the specific details.
“You may find performing more complex magic difficult. Some unicorns require the use of words or phrases to help them recall a particular spell. Others find it easier to use an object like a staff or wand and use subtle movements of these implements to remind them of their spells subconsciously.”
Carla blinked. “Are you saying I could remember how to throw a fireball by pointing out my finger and yelling bang?”
Shining snorted. “Well, yeah. If you had fingers. I brought back an airsoft gun and played arround with using it as an implement for casting a wood-polishing spell.”
Carla raised an eyebrow. “Why a gun?”
Shining blushed and looked away. “Cuz… blam, pow… Take that dust! I— Uh… It’s fun. Okay?”
Carla smiled and shook her head as the tutorial mare resumed once more. “Magic is arranged into Schools. Each School groups magic by the similarity of each spells in terms of how it is performed. For the most part, this also groups spells by their effects. There are eight primary schools of magic: Abjuration, Conjuration, Divination, Enchantment, Evocation, Illusion, Necromancy, and Transmutation. Mastering a spell from each of these schools will stabilize your magic, preventing stray thoughts from accidentally creating magical effects. There are other schools which you do not need to learn at this time.
“Once you have learned one simple spell from each school of magic, you may move to the next part of the tutorial.”
Carla shook her head and looked to her left to watch Shining progress through yet another orbit. “I think this should have come right after the telekinesis.”
“Yes. It should have. This is very important for you to know… Don’t worry. The simplest spells from the primary schools are cake. You’ll crack them in an hour. Then you’ll learn how to cancel a spell and this will finally be over!”
Carla nodded and looked around the room, examining each of the bookcases. The dozens of cases were arranged into groups, each of them one for each of the primary schools.
Her eyes glazed over, prompting Carla to sit on the floor and shake her head to clear it. “Why are there so many books for SIMPLE spells?”
“Oh, each book will hold a hundred of them or so. We’re talking about the really simple stuff. Like, sweeping dust off a ledge. Lighting a candle. Flavoring a mouthful of food. That kind of thing. There’s literally millions of these. Princess Celestia insisted you be given access to all unclassified spells. Just pick a book from each set at random, flip to a random page, and learn that spell. It’s not like you’re going to retain your spellcasting after you go home so what you learn isn’t important at all.”
Carla frowned. I’ll lose the ability to cast spells… Huh. You know, it is pretty cool that I am about to learn how to cast a spell. I’ll be the first human to have ever learned magic.
“I guess you have a point.”
Shining nodded twice. “Right, and if you changed your mind, well, these are cake. You could learn a whole school's basic spells in like, a month. Most unicorns who become wizards learn all of them, so they can decide what School to specialize in.”
Carla hummed and looked over at the shelf of Transmutation books. “I guess I’ll start with those. But I think I’ll choose spells I would actually like to know. Just in case...”
Shining’s ears perked. “In case you change your mind?”
Carla shrugged. “Maybe? Or you know, maybe after becoming a human again I’ll retain my magic. Have you ever de-alicorned someone?”
Shining shook his head. “Not that I know of. I am fairly certain you’re the first human to be changed… I didn’t handle the previous candidate. That was before my time.”
Carla nodded, stood up, trotted over to the bookcases, then yelped as Shining’s orbit caused him to smack face-first into one of the book cases.
“Ow…” The stallion whimpered.
Carla’s cheeks burned. “I’m so sorry! I forgot you— I mean you’ve been doing that for days! I didn’t think.”
“Use... your… magic.” Shining groaned into a thick leather bound tome.
Carla nodded. “R— Right.”
She took a few steps back from the cases, allowing Shining to resume his orbit. A moment of focused willpower, pink energy, and random choice later, eight books sat on the floor in front of Carla.
Flipping one open at random, Carla began to read. “Huh… Are all spells just imagining the feeling that comes from the thing you’re trying to do?”
“No. Just the basics. That’s why they are cake.”
Carla nodded and began to study. Her first spell came from the Abjuration school. Idyllic Sleep, a simple charm which let the caster, or a willing person get a good night’s sleep even in horrible conditions.
Next she learned a rather amusing enchantment known as the “Touch of Fascination”. It required the caster physically touch the victim, but would ensure the subject paid attention to anything the caster chose, to the exclusion of all else, for around six seconds. In other words, the spell created the perfect distraction.
What I wouldn’t have done for that little gem of a spell twenty years ago…
For evocation, Carla learned the charm Dancing Lights. Mostly because she giggled at the idea of combining it with her illusion spell Unseen Band to trap an unsuspecting coworker in a disco tech of flashing lights and terrible music.
Much to Carla’s surprise, the book containing Necromancy spells wasn’t exclusively ways to defend against the undead.
“So uh, Shining?”
“Humm?”
Carla frowned as she looked up from the Necromancy book. “Why can just anyone learn how to make a small part of someone's body rot with a thought?”
“First, that’s so simple people would figure it out on their own if they wanted to know how to do it. Second, necromancy has practical uses and many licensed Necromancers help Equestrian police by asking the dead questions. Some will reanimate and reattach severed limbs in hospitals. No tool is evil. There’s only evil people. Third, the more you know of how a school of magic works, the easier it is to defend against.”
Carla nodded, more than satisfied. “Makes sense… Not sure I’m comfortable learning this though.”
Shining waited till his orbit brought him in front of Carla. “You need to. Necromancy is linked to negative emotions. Mastering all spells unless they are based in fear, anger, hatred, and so on is the worst possible thing you could do.”
Carla frowned, then nodded and turned her attention back to her book. “Okay… The least evil of these looks to be Askew Balance. Uh that doesn't give them permanent nerve damage, does it?”
Shining shook his head. “Nah, I use that all the time. It just makes them go limp as you switch their nerves off for a split-second. It’s got a very short range though. Think of it like a tazer.”
Carla let out a deep breath. “Oh! Well, that’s fine then.”
After Askew Balance joined Carla’s arsenal, she felt her magic behave more fluidly and regularly. Learning new spells became so much more easy she picked up the rest of her basic tools with just a few minutes practice each.
Cloth Armor; a transmutation spell to turn normal clothing into a protective garment to rival a quilted gambeson for a few minutes. Not that she had a frame of reference for how protective a gambeson was, or even what one was exactly. Clandestine Conversation; a piece of illusion magic which let two people speak without being overheard. Conjurer’s Toolbelt; a nifty little charm that summoned a single crude tool for a minute or so. The ability to snap her fingers and have a poorly made, uncomfortable to use, but mostly functional screwdriver was yet another power Carla would have once happily killed for.
But of all the spells she saw in those books, one called out to her the loudest. Carla’s eyes sparkled as she held the book in front of her eyes. The pink aura her magic created made the wonderful spell seem to glow and sparkle as if it held a magic of its own simply by existing.
Shining smirked as he took in the manic glee on Carla’s face. “What did you find?”
“Starswirl’s Lesser Form Fill!”
Shining raised an eyebrow. “I’m not familiar with that one.”
Carla rubbed her hooves together to contain a girlish squeal of delight. “It fills out up to twenty pages worth of paperwork for you, with PERFECT accuracy!”
Shining’s eyes widened. “Wait, seriously? Learn it and pass that book up here! I need it!”
Carla nodded, began to read, then bit her lip. “Actually, this is my last spell. If I learn it the tutorial section is over and the book will vanish. Here, you learn it now.”
She gently turned the book upside down and held it out towards Shining, who took it from her with his own blue telekinetic aura. Shining’s eyes flicked over the two-page-long spell for a moment before he closed them tightly, meditating on the instructions.
Shining smiled and passed the book Back to Carla, his eyes fixed on Carla’s own. “If I hadn’t already been madly in love with you, this would have made me fall for you.”
Carla rolled her eyes. “That’s so sappy…”
Shining nodded. “But true.”
Carla’s lips pulled back as she smiled. “Yeah. Slaying the paperwork demon for someone is a pretty erotic thing to do.”
Five minutes later Carla closed the book. “Done! And I am so sad I can’t take this power back to Earth with me. This would solve ninety percent of my job.”
“Good job!” The tutorial mare praised from the aether. “Mastering those spells means you have mastered your emotions, and therefore your magic! I— I uh, know it’s really rude in human cultures to insinuate that a woman is overly emotional. That’s not at all what this means or implies. Remember, in ponies, not learning a spell for each emotion means random acts of magic wherever you go and have an exceptionally strong feeling. Now you can feel any way you want as hard as you want without turning my hooves into potatoes.”
Carla blinked twice and stared at Shining with wide eyes. “That’s an oddly specific example!”
Shining took a deep breath and sighed. “I’ve got a little sister. She’s— It’s complicated. But seriously, not trying to be sexist or anything! Besides, with us the stereotypes flipped. Stallions are considered more emotional.”
Carla raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
Shining nodded. “Mhm! Though uh, the average mare is on par with a VERY expressive human. We’re just more open than you guys in general. Which is why untrained magic being tied to emotion is a problem for ponies.”
“So… You’re normal?” Carla asked with a frown.
Shining blushed and shook his head. “Naaaahh! More emotional doesn't mean that those emotions are not macho ones. I’m weird for my people too.”
Carla snorted. “Good to know you’re a dork on two worlds. Hey… What’s taking the tutorial so long?”
Shining shrugged. “Probably loading the dispelling segment. Pocket Spaces are powerful spells, that means they are really complicated. Sometimes they slow down, mess up, or otherwise behave unexpectedly.”
Carla shook her head slowly. “It really is magic VR.”
“It totally is! I never thought about that… Probably because my human alias couldn’t afford one of those. I still really want to play that one starship game using a headset.”
“Error detected,” Fem-Shining said with more somberness than the situation warranted. “Please wait while the tutorial adjusts.”
Shining blinked. “Hey, I never recorded that line!”
The room shuddered and shook as the bookcases melted backwards into the walls. The floor stretched and warped as a dais took form in the room’s center like a blister rising from pristine skin. A rune circle carved itself into the dais’ outer rim, each sigil glowing with a faint blue light.
“You have placed several enchantments upon yourself. Please step into the circle, it will assist in dispelling your enchantments.”
Carla frowned and walked into the center of the runes. The moment she reached the center the runes flashed white and a prismatic bubble sprang up around her, leaving Shining just barely enough room to continue orbiting her.
The Tutorial mare spoke before Carla could panic. “Do not be alarmed. This ward will contain your magic. Pocket Spaces are not capable of containing an Alicorn’s spells without special precautions including this ward. Dispelling magical effects you created unintentionally is very tricky, and mistakes are likely to occur.”
Shining crossed his forelegs over his chest. “The Princess could have told me she could use voice samples…”
Carla stared blankly at the space in front of her. “Something tells me she’s a bit of a troll.”
“Dispelling is a difficult skill,” Fem-Shining continued. “Active effects end once you stop concentrating upon them. These do not need to be dispelled. Passive effects can persist forever, and need to be dispelled to be removed. It is best for a spell to be dispelled by its caster.
“Should you be required to dispel an effect created by another spellcaster, and they are within a hundred meters of the effect you are dispelling, the caster will be struck with agonizing pain and can be left with mild to major injuries. This feedback is so dangerous it rendered mages useless as warriors until the invention of dispel-proof wards one thousand five hundred years ago.
“Unless you find yourself or others to be in immediate danger, you should never attempt to dispel another caster’s magic.”
Carla nodded slowly. “Ooookay… But how do you actually you know, dispel things?”
“She can’t hear you,” Shining said.
Carla smirked. “I’m not so sure about that anymore.”
The recording continued. “To dispel a magical effect you must perform the spell used to create it in reverse while focusing your will upon the magical effect itself. This is very difficult, but is necessary to learn for your own safety. A simple cleaning spell can produce unintended consequences resulting in the need for immediate disenchantment.
“Dispelling wild magic is much more difficult. Shining Armor is a real entity, existing in both spaces simultaneously. Due to your immense magical power as an Alicorn, and Shining Armor being inside this space with you, the effects you have placed upon Shining Armor exist outside this Pocket Space.”
Shining facehooved and screamed into his hoof. “Bucking… Please don’t let there be anypony in the hallway with us!”
Carla’s lips parted in a grin. She bit her lip to prevent herself from laughing then waited for the voice to continue.
“Due to not knowing the nature of the magical effects with wild magic, dispelling them traditionally is impossible. Instead, you must apply the exact opposite of an existing wild magic effect to counteract it. In most cases this will cause the opposing magic to interact with one another and evaporate. In some cases the effects will persist but cancel out. However, either of these two outcomes will result in normality being restored.
“Due to your insufficient arcane knowledge, dispelling these effects will prove very difficult. This tutorial has constructed a guide. Follow these instructions exactly and do not deviate from them.”
Carla scarcely had time to blink before a most literal wall of text appeared before her. The barrier of glowing blue letters, numbers, and scattered diagrams looked like it belonged on a mathematics professor’s chalkboard. Looking at it all sent shooting pain through Carla’s head as she tried to take everything in at once.
Shining turned his head to look at the text and gulped. “Uh… hon? C— Can I call you hon?”
“I kissed you and we’ve been dating for seven days of relative time, so, yeah,” Carla whispered, her ears flopping over as she tried to process the instructions before her.
Shining bit his lip. “Just… Just take those slowly. One step at a time.”
Carla took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay… Step one. Turn you right side up.”
Fifteen minutes later Shining armor was finally orbiting around Carla upright and was at last able to control his own orientation. Unfortunately he was now soaking wet from the ball of water Carla had transmuted the air around him into. Fortunately that spell didn’t persist any longer than Carla had concentrated on it.
Carla pawed at the ground. “I’m sorry you nearly drowned…”
“Just stop the spinning, please,” Shining sighed.
Stopping the spinning took Carla an hour. An hour and eight attempts. One of which had dried Shining off, another of which had made a random patch of his fur fall out. But in the end his orbit stopped, dropping the stallion to the ground with an audible plop.
Shining’s hooves clicked against the floor as he did his best to hug it. “I missed you, floor!”
Carla trotted over to Shining and wrapped her forelegs around his shoulders to give him a tight hug. “I’m sorry I made you orbit around me for seven days.”
Shining returned her hug. “It’s fine. It’s only really seven minutes. Can you fix my mane now, please?”
Carla nervously tapped her hooves together and winced. “Uhhh, this part is… I can BARELY understand what it’s saying. You can walk away from me now. Why not leave the tutorial, walk a hundred meters away, so I don't get the feedback, and dispel it yourself?”
Shining paused then smiled. “Hon, I love how smart you are. Let’s do that. Space? Emergency Abort!”
Carla’s eye began to twitch yet again. “You… could... abort... this?”
“This tutorial may not be aborted from within.” Fem-Shining chimed.
Shining sighed and let his chin flop onto the floor. “Dang it… And the answer is I didn’t think so. But I had to check.”
Carla rubbed her temples with her hooves. “Sooo we're stuck here until I fix you?”
“Mmmmhmm,” Shining moaned.
“Okay, well… Here goes?” Carla winced, closed her eyes, and focused on her magic.
A bright flash of white light engulfed Shining’s body amid a loud popping sound. Carla opened her eyes, praying she hadn’t blown him to bits. Where the white and pink stallion had been there was now a small lavender furred, sapphire maned unicorn mare staring wide-eyed at her hooves.
Shining yelped, his tail standing straight up in alarm. “You turned me into my sister!”
Carla put a hoof over her mouth as her eyes widened. “I’m-so-sorry!”
Shining took a deep breath. “It’s cool. I can fix this.”
He closed his eyes, and his body vanished with a pop in another flash of white light. When the light cleared, Shining was back in his old body, his blue mane intact. Though the cloud of mist remained.
Carla blinked. “Y-you could have fixed your own mane?”
Shining shrugged. “Maybe? Depends on if that was a physical change or an illusion spell. Your dispel tripped my transformation gem, that’s all… And put my sister’s signature into its memory. I never acquired her. For you know, good reasons!”
Carla coughed into her hoof and nodded. “Yeah, that was… Awkward…”
Shining shook his head. “Noooo! Noooo… Nooo… Twiliy would love it if I turned into her as like, a fun surprise or something. No, nono, see, that was DANGEROUS! Twilight’s only SLIGHTLY less powerful than you! And unstable. Magically speaking. For some unicorns learning a spell for each emotion isn't enough. Twily’s got Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder. Mental conditions like that throw the normal way magic works out a window. I don’t know how she controls herself. Soooo since I gain their instincts and form when I change into other people or creatures... Well, I just became a time bomb!"
Carla raised an eyebrow. "A time bomb? Really? She's that destructive?"
Shining nodded twice. "Yes! She turned our parents into potted plants by accident once!”
While Carla processed Shining’s statement and did her best to come to terms with the horror behind that single sentence he stood up and held a hoof over his heart. “Override: Bacon Pinata.”
Carla’s jaw slowly dropped. “Potted… plants?”
The gem fused to Shining’s heart pulsed green. “Delete signature: Twilight Sparkle.”
The gemstone flashed green twice. Shining sighed in relief. “Thank Celestia… I’d have been tempted to use that at some point and probably turned everypony for a hundred miles into… I don’t know? Sexy spaghetti?”
“Potted plants?”
Shining smiled at Carla. “It’s okay. They got better.”
"From being potted plants?"
"Yes."
Carla pursed her lips. "How?"
Shining smiled. "Princess Celestia is a several thousand year old wizard. She can fix a lot of things, and this happened with her in the room."
Carla shook her head slowly and looked at the mist still clinging to Shining. “Magic can make someone into a potted plant... I’m scared to remove that mist now.”
Shining bit his lip. “Yeah but we have to.”
Carla closed her eyes tightly and nodded. “Please don't turn into a poodle…”
Shining grinned ear to ear as he debated doing exactly that to mess with his mare.
Carla’s horn blazed bright pink as the magic formed within her mind. She pictured the opposite of emitting weird mist as clearly as she could, then turned her full attention to Shining.
Carla smiled. Her heart sped up slightly as she flashed back over the last few days of apparent time. He’s so patient and caring. Anyone else would have screamed at me for making them float for days. I wonder if—
Carla’s concentration lapsed. Her spell slipped. Shining yelped as he felt something pinch at the base of his horn.
Carla’s eyes shot open just in time to see the pink mist disperse. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
Shining rubbed at his horn. “Just a pinch… Let me make sure it still works.”
Shining pushed his magic into his horn, letting it glow. His eyes shrank to pinpricks as instead of the familiar cool blue his horn lit up pink. He turned to Carla, his eyes fixing on her horn, and it’s now blue glow. “Hey! You swapped our magic colors.”
Carla looked up at her long slender horn, taking note of the blue and nodding in satisfaction. “Good! I’m less pink.”
Shining opened his mouth to object then pushed, shook his head and sighed. “Eh… Whatever. Not a big deal. I don’t have a hoodie for you to steal anyways. Ponies don't do mandatory clothing.”
Carla’s cheeks turned bright pink as she realized Shining had been naked for the last week. Naked and orbiting around her. With his bottom end facing upwards. On her eye level.
Carla looked upwards at the ceiling and stroked her mane. “Uhhhh…. You know… I never realized. I mean… Fur… four legs… You’re a person, not an animal and… uhhh—”
Shining rolled his eyes. “You’ve seen my dick. Yeah. So what? Everypony I’ve ever known has too. Human modesty is silly and pants are stupid. I’m not gonna dress on my homeworld to suit your species tastes. Not because I hate you and want to embarrass you. It’s pants I hate. Buck pants!”
Carla’s cheeks continued to burn as the tutorial mare’s voice chimed in.
“Good job! The remaining spell effects are all upon you, and will disappear once you exit this Pocket Space. You may dispel them at your leisure. Resuming normal tutorial functionality…”
Carla shuffled her hooves awkwardly. “S— so uh… When humans date… the naked thing is supposed to come later… and it’s more than you. You’ve been behind me… and all I have on is this jacket.”
Shining nodded and smiled. “Mhm! That’s the magic of orbital mechanics. You’re cute, by the way. Great flanks! Personally I prefer earth tone fur but the pink works for you.”
Carla squirmed. “I uh… It’s okay for YOU to see that, but… uh… y— you know…”
Shining rolled his eyes. “We’re a species of nudists, anyone who saw your bits wouldn’t care. Everypony sees so much T and A and D that it's just not sexual anymore… Unless you love them. Then anything they do is sexy. Especially save me from paperwork.
“Besides, your tail and flanks will hide your bits while standing up. You’ve got bubbly flanks, that’s extra sexy and will hide your lady stuff from the side and diagonals. Tail takes care of the rest. Be happy you're not a stallion if being naked bothers you. Random erections happen to our guys too.”
Carla tapped her hooves together. “I’d still like pants… Or some kind of illusion spell to hide things.”
Shining nodded. “No problem. I’ll illusion you once we’re out.”
“Thank you.”
The dais melted back into the floor as the rest of the room dissolved around Shining and Carla. The two were left in the same flat empty expanse of nothingness they had first arrived in for several long seconds. Then a single podium rose up from the ground.
It was jet black, had a circular face, and four buttons on its top. Each button had a rune etched into it and glowed a different color. Carla’s ears laid back as she recognized the runes in an instant.
The tutorial-mare spoke one last time. “Press X to pony.”
Carla glared at Shining.
Shining offered her a sheepish grin and shrugged. “What?”
Carla rolled her eyes, reached out, and pressed the x button. The white void vanished with a quiet pop, leaving the two standing just outside an open door in a rather lovely looking colonial style hallway.
Carla shivered, her fur stood up on end as an entire week’s worth of memories jammed themselves into her brain in an instant. Her tail raised. Her eyes widened. “I— But—- What?! We were in there for a week! Why does it feel like it was suddenly just five minutes?”
“Because it was only really a few minutes,” Shining reminded with a loving smile. “Now have magic panties.”
Shining closed his eye sand grit his teeth as he cast a quick illusion spell to cover his mare’s groin with a simple formfitting pink thong pantie. With his spell finished, Shining stood up on his tippy-hooves to kiss Carla on her cheek. “Come on, let’s go see the Princess and get you home.”
Carla nodded, bent her neck down and returned Shining’s kiss, even though her gut twisted into a knot. If I go back home, I don’t think the Princess will let Shining Armor come with me.
Shining blushed happily at Carla’s kiss and turned around, trotting down the hall. Carla followed along behind him her mind crunching the numbers on what future would be worth what price.
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I thought you wrote this tutorial? Or that you didn't check the work of your sub-coordinate.
"Press x to pony"
This. Is the best thing I've seen all day.
8972833
I don’t get the reference.
8973012
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/858/776/f2e.jpg_large
8972814 You think he manually typed every one of those books into there, or is it more likly scanned them in with a spell/tool from the palace library? Come on, it's not Twilight :P
I didn't notice this before, but I went back and checked, and you did it last chapter too. Maybe it was on purpose, but I've found that a lot of people don't realize that it's Shining's magic that's pink, and Cadance's that's blue. Get it? They reflect each other? It's easy to remember; just keep in mind that the shield over Canterlot during the wedding was pink, and Shining cast it.
8973126 You should read all of a chapter before commenting on it ;)
8973133
Well, now I'm glad I hedged my bets with that ‘maybe it was on purpose’ bit. But I did notice Carla learning two ’illusion’ class spells, for a total of nine. Because I can't finish empty-hoofed.
8965607
I'm a little bothered by the implication that mental disorders can ‘totally be fixed with positive thinking and talking out the problem’. I suffer from an anxiety disorder, and talking about it is never going to make it better; I have to take medication so I don't panic in perfectly normal social situations. I would say that mental disorders ARE medical disorders; they're just medical disorders that primarily affect the brain, which people often forget is just as much a part of the body as everything else. The arbitrary split off is unhelpful, and leads to the average person not understanding that you can't just talk it away. Pills are medical treatments that modify body chemistry, not therapy-in-a-capsule.
The great, White Rainbow Troll strikes again.
8973229
Welcome to magic land where permanently physically editing living brains is standard procedure
Press x to pony.
You gave me no choice.
Nice chapter nevertheless, keep up the good work.
8973229 Fair argument, but you're strawmanning what I said. What I said was a mental disorder is that the harm it does to someone can be mitigated and possibly even removed through therapy OR the use of drugs. This is the clinical definition of the term and what distinguishes them from medical disorders.
Like everything involving humans "treatable by therapy" has an implied "in general" attached to it. Obviously therapy dosn't work for everyone. But it works for many, possibly even most. There is obviously a lot of overlap between mental disorders and medical disorders because the brain is an organ and malfunctions of the brain's operations are the same as any other organ not working right. Howeaver, in the case of the brain, many of the problems it encounters really can be improved or even fixed by talking to its "software". An example of "fixing" is how exposure therapy can turn a phobia of spiders into a mere dislike of spiders.
If analogies help you out, a mental disorder is a glitch in your software. A medical disorder is damaged hardware. Both things are bad, both are malfunctions occurring in a computer, but both are repaired in very different ways.
If it's the idea that mental disorders are problems which should be repaired which bothers you... I don't know what to say. Do you like being anxious all the time? I do not like being paranoid all the time. I do not like being unable to understand social cues and body language most of the time. I want my malfunctions to be addressed and removed. Unfortunately science has yet to provide a means to do so other than chemical alteration of the brain's basic operations. Which produces side effects I do not want even more than I want to be repaired.
I guess I just dont get seeing your problems as a part of your identity. I see them as irritating malfunctions that negatively impact my ability to preform important tasks.
... Tentacle hentai?
8973874 Please dont make me google-- Damnit... Of course Tagliatelle hentai is a thing XD
Witch.
That one's sneaky; discotheque.
Yes, I know that you spell phonetically, but those are really confusing ones.
This chapter was hilarious. I wasn't expecting them to purposely set up a "Guide Dang It" level for the training section. It's also funny that Shining got all the negative effects.
Swapping the IME (Individual Magic Effect -- it's from the Goblins webcomic) colors is clever, and I like the headcanon for Twilight as well. Interesting to see that this one's more advanced than canon, what with the pocket spaces and polymorph crystals (with voice control)!
8973895
Ulp.
8973716
Where you first imply that if something is a mental disorder, it can be fixed by positiving thinking and talking out the problem, and then proceed to imply that medication is evidence that it's not a mental disorder. Yes, it contradicts your earlier statement further up the comment, but that seems to be more of a cut/paste from another source, while this is clearly your own thoughts. One is your actual position and the other is not, so I picked the one that was more elaborated on.
The brain isn't like a computer. There is no dividing line between ‘software’ and ‘hardware’. The other person pointed out that there are studies showing that the brain changes based on someone's long term thoughts, but it goes much further than that: The whole basis of neuroscience is that even individual thoughts and memories can be traced to changes in the brain structure. I say this because I like science, and I'm saddened when people abuse it.
I did not say that I think of medical or mental disorders as ‘part of someone's identity’, so I'm a little confused where that's coming from.
8973895
Any time the question "does X porn exist", the answer is, YES.
8973978 MLP's tech/magic level is more advanced than most think/give credit for. I write what makes sense based on what they have used in episodes. If Ponies can mass produce comicbooks that literally suck you into a pocket dimension so you can act out the ending to the story in a manner you see fit, even giving YOU the powers of the hero, then well, frankly, they are equivalent to Star Trek in terms of
holodecksentertainment. This requires the existence of many other things, like programmable virtual entities."Frankly, the impression of ponies as a mideval society is absurd. Their magic gives them access to things of the Star Trek caliber of bullshit Space Science, and we see Pinkie pie cooking with utensils invited in the 50s, and Rainbow hooked up to medical equipment from the mid 2000s. They are clearly modern, with some scifi grade BS via magic, and a preference for older looking architecture.
8974008
From when you said: "I'm a little bothered by the implication that mental disorders can ‘totally be fixed with positive thinking and talking out the problem’. I suffer from an anxiety disorder,"
In my experience, 80% of the time, this comes from someone who believes their disorder defines them and is integral to their identity.
Yes it is.
YOur brain utilises electrical signals for data processing, and stores data for later use as well. The word device dosn't discount your brain as a computer because...
A device can be ADAPTED for a purpose, not made for one. Therefore, an organic brain, being the result of evolutionary adaptation for survival counts as a device. It also says "ESPECIALLY" a machine, not "it must be a machine". Therefore devices do not need to be mechanical. This means they can be organic in nature.
Therefore, your brain is a device which uses electrical currents to process and store data. This makes it a computer by the definition of the word computer. This isn't semantics either, this is you holding the definitions of the word "computer" too narrowly by using the word "computer" to exclusively mean "a machine which uses electrical signals to process data" when that is merely a type of computer, not all computers.
Your brain IS a computer, and you ARE software.
]
You, not the human being, but you, the consciousness within one, is most certainly operating information stored within the organ known as a brain. We have just shown that a brain meets the definitions of a computer. This makes you, the mind within the brain, software. It also means an error in your mind is a software issue UNLESS that error is the result of faulty hardware.
As for drugs to treat mental illnesses, they are akin to trying to make our video game run less choppy by opening the case of your PC and randomly changing around wires while the computer is running. Only in organic computing, this will work sometimes instead of frying your computer. Howeaver it works by radically altering the behavior of the hardware, effectively trading one problem for another.
8974096
This is that unusual time when I said that because in my experience, people tend to dismiss what I say if I can't claim personal association with the topic. I was bothered by it because it's scientifically incorrect; I mentioned my anxiety to preempt possible dismissal by accusation of it not being within my range of experience.
I'm sorry to tell you, but you really don't know how brains work. Electrical signals are only a small part of it; the structure of the cells, and various chemical based signals are important to brain function as well. Moreso, even the electrical component is probabilistic, rather than strictly controlled; and there is no identifiable ‘program’ that gets the brain doing certain things; it's a continuous, semi-chaotic chain reaction. Memories are known to be stored by physical changes in brain structure; which you have been told multiple times now, but appear to be studiously ignoring. You're redefining the word ‘computer’ for your convenience, but if you redefine it broadly enough to make a brain a computer, then you've lost any ability to leverage its computer-ness to imply a hardware-software division, because you've removed that division from the definition.
Comparing the human brain to a computer is common when trying to explain complicated concepts to lay people. It's also completely wrong.
8974127 I'm sorry to tell you, but you really don't know how computers work. The electrical current is only a small part of it. The shape of the silicone wafers, the state of transistors at any given time, the number of transistors present on the wafers, and slight changes in voltage are important to computers function as well. That's all just in one part of the computer too, the CPU. It's even more complicated when you think about more components. The quality of the copper making up the buss lines, the CAS timings of RAM, the speed the HDD can operate at, that all matters too. Data on a computer is stored by physical changes to a spinning disk, or tiny crystals depending on HDD or SSD.
You're brain is a computer my good man. The fact that its hardware configuration is critical to it's functionality is true of all other forms of computer as well.
As for changes in brain structure that's not how forming neural pathways works. Your brain dosnt change shape when that happens. It's actually just neurons opening doors up for signals to travel on different paths. The neurons do not move. Your brain dosn't change shape. It's exactly the same as a transistor opening or closing in response to some stimuli or another.
Again. To reiterate. Your brain dosn't change it's structure in response to things that happen to you. You do not grow new synapses. Neural pathways do not work like phone lines. They work almost exactly like the internet. Traffic is routed between neurons via synapses. If that traffic needs to go to some place it's not currently going, new pathways do not grow, instead new doors open and old doors close.
8974073
That's true; I just keep thinking of the comic incident as an omake and forgot about it. (Though, I can't say either way as to my impressions of their tech level; it's both highly heterogenous AND idiosyncratic, plus I have not seen the shows -- though Twilight is a good excuse for some of the advanced equipment's existence rather than their normal capabilities; I see her as the equivalent of Jimmy Neutron or Phineas or Ferb when it comes to building impossibly advanced (for the nominal tech level) devices)
And I'm one to make that error; my story is predicated on their magic being an absurdly advanced technology that they forgot about.
So, I think it's cool that this one is advanced, and I really should have expected it, as magic lets you shortcut a crapload of the normal technology dev tree.
8965713 You're clearly intelligent enough to use public resources like NIH's pubmed; if you actually want to have a productive discussion, win anyone over, or deliberate on what the bigger-picture truths might be, please don't demean yourself like this.
What do I mean by "this"? Why is it demeaning?
Well, to start with, your arguments are rather shoddy, even disregarding your misuse of your sources. You say first that gender dysphoria is a mental illness, then you imply there's no mind-body dualism at all in your statements about the interaction between thought and chemicals. This means either you're contradicting yourself, or it's necessary to consider (for example) a broken bone to be a mental illness due to its extremely unpleasant nervous and chemical interactions with the brain. Neither logical outcome of your reasoning is particularly useful.
Also importantly, it is well-determined at this point that being transgender is not a mental illness; this was a prevailing current even before the publication of DSM-5. There are a number of conditions listed in the DSM-5 that are of interest to the psychiatric profession but are not mental illnesses; gender dysphoria is one of them. This list also includes things like restless leg syndrome and bedwetting.
Their inclusion in DSM-5 is not based on the idea that these things are mental illnesses, but that people having these problems often need various other kinds of support. Transgender people often deal with depression and anxiety due to poor societal treatment and perception; restless leg syndrome can cause sleep problems, which can leave you more vulnerable to all kinds of physiological and psychological issues; bed-wetting past a certain age can indicate or lead to an anxiety problem; and so on.
Your argument is, in other words, ignoring the actual purpose of the DSM-5 and its entry regarding the declassification of gender dysphoria as a mental illness; and you have clearly not read the full context provided by DSM-5 and in other media by its author, the American Psychiatric Association. This is a pattern--you also cite the same handful of studies cited by everyone else who tries to claim medical intervention doesn't help trans people; the vast majority of clinical practice and serious study goes ignored. You also ignore that genital surgery is neither the sole means of medical intervention nor the most common nor even the most desired, but that's another conversation.
The pattern and problem is that you're only presenting the evidence which supports the position you already hold or, in the case of whether or not the issues which lead to gender dysphoria can have their genesis in utero, you simply refuse outright to discuss the possibilities.
While it's perfectly practical to argue this way, the only purpose it serves is to convince you that you are right. You might also strengthen the conviction of observers who already agree with you, but you're not going to win over anyone who disagrees with you. It's kind of like apologetics. Most people don't understand that apologists of various religions, ideologies, political causes, and so on are here to strengthen beliefs you already have (or be ignored), not to change your mind.
So, I guess, think about this: What are you actually trying to achieve here?
Since you might as well ask me the same question, I'll answer what my aim is. I'm trying to make you think about how to crack open the bigger picture and admittedly, I think the vast majority of medical and psychiatric literature and practice supports a position you're currently against. But of slightly greater importance than anything I personally care about is that if you're looking for any kind of truth, your current method does you a disservice; and if you're only looking to justify yourself, there are much better echo chambers for that.
If instead you're here to vent outrage on a topic that is personal for reasons I cannot know, or to start a fight, or just yell because you're #triggered, then I suppose you've chosen as good a forum as any, but beware the mods and people's block buttons.
This has been interesting; I'm going to track it.
8974337 The way I see magic... Uh, hold on. Let's start by defining terms :3
Technology: the application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes.
Magic: the application of arcane knowledge for practical purposes.
Knowledge: facts, information, and skills acquired by a person through experience or education; the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject.
I think everyone can agree to those definitions. At least in the context of magic people in a setting use. LEts examine the word "arcane" shall we?
Arcane: understood by few; mysterious or secret.
Therefore; arcane knowledge is facts, information, and skills acquired by a person through experience or education which is understood by few, or kept secret.
With me so far? Good. Now then, how many people understand this:
zamandayolculuk.com/pu-4/r_nasa_warp-28.jpg
You may think it's cheating to use the IRL mathematics for a theoretical warp drive. Sooo, how many understand this?
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That's what makes your car go. That's what makes your lights shine. That's what charges your phone. Seems like something you should know, right? The foundational knowledge upon which literately most everything technological in the world operates. But you don't. Most people don't. Very few do. The science and engineering behind technology is quite arcane. Which means we must update our definitions as they don't fit the real world.
Technology: the application of arcane scientific knowledge for practical purposes.
Now let's examine scientific.
Scientific: based on or characterized by the methods and principles of science.
Science: the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment.
Natural World:all of the animals, plants, and other things existing in nature and not made or caused by people.
Therefore, scientific knowledge is knowledge gained through studying the flora, fauna, geological strata, chemistry, and physical interactions of the universe's stuff.
Heeeyyy... In a fantasy setting, magic is a part of the natural world. Isn't it? After all it's a thing that happens in that world which isn't man made. In fact, mages usually know how to cast spells because they learned how from books. Ancient books, wherein people studied magic to put it to a practical use. Looks like we need to update our definitions due to them not fitting our observations again. Let me just...
Magic: the application of arcane scientific knowledge for practical purposes.
See what I am driving at? Technology = magic. Which means magic = technology. The only difference is flavor. Do you like chocolate or vanilla? Me, I prefer swirl.
8974563
, but that sounds right.
Pretty much that, yeah. I think Arthur C. Clarke had a more terse version
I was wondering when I'd see someone use the actual definition of arcane.
My only comment on that is that I see magic as an offshoot of this world's physics given enough time and resources (which may not be possible if there are not enough resources, but let's ignore that), where you are reaching the same point by application of the scientific method to a different fundamental physics. But my view is a subset of yours, and follows the same logic otherwise.
8974426
See below, but it could be argued that anything that produces a physical reaction that is detected by your brain is psychological. EVERYTHING you experience is filtered through or influences your current thought processes. Does it make sense if I say that? I think that there's an independent "world" of thought (the internal experience -- whether as the consciousness or as a side effect or delusion of a complex machine that merely thinks it is aware because of its own inputs (and their interpretation by said "mind" and any other hardware) that it's aware and alive) as opposed to how you react from an outsider's view), but there's so much input from "outside" (assuming that there's no matrix that is feeding us internally-consistent information, but even then the same influences on thought processes and efficiency apply) that there isn't much dualism in practice.
8974096
Oh, come now. You are arguing over semantics, and you're both right. The brain is an organic computer, by the definition, but:
There is no separation of hardware/software, at least as much as a computer engineer would prefer to see. The "software" does not just operate on the hardware; it affects the hardware (in some cases quite directly, like with stressful thoughts causing cortisol buildup) and the hardware is in constant flux from aging and the horrible chemical stew that is hormones. Memory itself is not actually stored anywhere; it is simply circuits that are used more often reconfiguring themselves so that they fire that way again in the future. Essentially, each neuron is its own computer, then THOSE build a network that is partially hardwired (image recognition, movement detection, etc) and partially adjustable (injuries resulting in repurposing of other brain segments, your consciousness itself, etc).
I think the closest parallel to this in computer engineering terms is this utterly bizarre, awesome, and terrifying FPGA application. Now consider one of those made with leaky Flash memory cells that lose or gain charge as signals pass through them, and susceptible to any and all interference, plus a feedback device that provides next-thing-to-random input based on a slew of environmental factors and internal states. And all of this set up in such a way that it somehow performs a stable and useful operation far better than ANY OTHER SYSTEM known or designed?
(I digress for a moment that none of this is actually random; it is simply the outputs of a state machine far too complex for even our best computers to simulate, and that was somehow designed (some say random action, I say BS, but that's not really relevant right now) to work perfectly and keep doing so, not going into some entropy hole where it spits out random garbage for the rest of its life. But my point is that the hardware is intrinsically part of the operation of the device because it is unique, and because so much of the "software" is actually hardware state or actual architecture changes)
Can it really be argued that, insofar as all of these are assumed necessary for the device to function as the equivalents are for human experience, that there is actually a software in here that can be separated out? (I suppose you technically could, but it really wouldn't work properly even on seemingly-identical hardware, much like the FPGA project above, and it would be a frozen snapshot of the self-evolving code running on the system.)
More info:https://www.economist.com/node/539808
8974623
What you are saying makes sense, but I'm very confused about why you're arguing with me. I simply pointed out a contradiction. You can't stigmatize mental illnesses, or use "mental illness" (or more colloquial terms e.g. "crazy") as a weapon against trans people the same way it was used against gay people until DSM-4 and women who ever have bad moods until ... actually that one's still a thing, if there is no significant mind-body dualism.
This wasn't me taking a position on whether mind-body dualism exists, it was me pointing out a contradiction in someone else's argument. I'm not prepared to take any strong stance in a debate about the existence or degree of mind-body dualism, and will continue not to do so.
Edit: And that wasn't even the most important part of my post, it was just the first thing.
Sure you won't
AWSOME
Have one of your coworkers or even one of the other princesses take some time out of their day and give some better advice/explanations
So just about everypony but Twilight is guess
No destruction magic, what is this ?
I disagree completely, she is supposed to deal with Sombra, combat magic would be very useful for her
YES, THANK YOU, finally an Equestria that understands this simple and infinitly useful thing
She's Twilight freaking Sparkle, complicated barely begins to cover her
You have no idea
Well, not "destructive" per say but... well... she could give Discord a run for his bits
8974073 I've found that the majority of their tech that isn't medical or entertainment based seems to come from the same time period: the late 1800's to early 1900's. Steampower is a thing, along with trains, but engines and cars are not, wooden ships are still widely used, airships and balloons are commonplace, but heavier-than-air flight is not, most food is still produced locally or preserved rather than being shipped vast distances fresh, printing presses run papers in most cities, and industrialization is available, but not everywhere. The decades between the American Civil War and WWI match all of the above criteria, and the things that don't fit can be explained by magic and/or Equestria having vastly different priorities than human nations.
8975072 Oh absolutely! If any non-human species has the same stuff as us, you're doing it wrong. But there is a bizarrely large number of people who seem to think its a sword and sorcery fantasy world. Rather than what I would describe as contemporary fantasy.
8975135 Weird, especially since Equestria seems to have its own version of Manifest Destiny and the expansionism that entails, mostly focused through Appaloosa. Also, they have the scientific method and modern medicine, though it doesn't seem to be as well developed as ours. It fits, and a lot of the things that don't fit only show up in the series once, like that crazy pedal-powered helicopter and the arcade. The only truly modern thing that shows up on a regular basis is Vinyl's rave equipment, and that might just be her personal kit. Likewise, the only truly medieval thing in Equestria is the Royal Guard, I.E. their military. That falls under the priorities thing I mentioned above.
As for the believers, it might be so they feel extra superior to the ponies, but honestly the difference between the early industrial and late information eras is a pretty severe tech gap as it is. They probably just don't have a good enough grasp of history to know when all these techs started popping up.
8975158 I see the Royal Guard exactly the same as the ceremonially equipped Vatican Guard, Queen's Guard, The Sovereign Military Hospitaller Order of Saint John of Jerusalem, of Rhodes and of Malta (they may use modern equipment but they are a still active Crusades era knight order that's just... never stopped XD), and the marines stationed at the tomb of the unknown soldier. A lot of modern organizations use antiquated weapons for ceremonial roles. And one is you know, actual medieval knights.
Also realistically... Alicorns shouldn't need guards :P The Royal Guards are most likely there for diplomatic purposes/tourism.
8974768
I was kinda agreeing, actually. I just thought I'd expand on the idea.
8975274
Well, I have heard other theories too...
8975544
Oh, okay. That makes more sense.
8975274 A good point... If we ever saw them using something more powerful than a spear. Or anyone else, for that matter. As far as I can tell, advanced weaponry just isn't a thing in Equestria. The most powerful "weapon" that comes to mind is Cheese Sandwich's party howitzer, and that's clearly not designed for combat.
8976674 Next Tuesday or Wednesday. I will be doing weekly uploads unless the commissioner requests more.
8976846 You're forgetting something, they have magic. Those spears could be far more powerful and effective than we can see visually. For example, they could be enchanted to never miss if thrown. Or perhaps their blades can cut steel like soft cheese. Remember, even mundane melee tools are still very effective IRL if you can get close to your target. Guard armor could be enchanted to overcome the ranged advantage in numerous ways.
Let's put this on the table. It's a common scifi trope to have people go back to melee tools for certain tactical reasons relating to future combat. Ever read Dune? In Dune not only are people mostly fighting with melee tools, but they do it very slowly to the point where you a (presumably) untrained knife fighter could easily kill them if not for one thing... Personal force fields are not only cake to make, but powering them isn't a problem either for the humans in Dune. They make ranged combat useless, and if you hit someone hard or fast with a melee weapon the force field will explode, killing you and injuring them a bit. As a result, melee combat is now the preferred form of battle for infantry, with only vehicles having the firepower to overcome infantry shields.
Royal guards may have similar protections, especially since we see the Captain of the Guard in canon is the guy who is freaking amazing at erecting force fields. You need to treat magic like technology when determining the realisticness of something within a fantasy world. After all, that's what the ponies would do because to them, magic is just another tool on the engineer's belt.
8977316 And now we get to the crux of the problem. We don't know how strong magic is, what it can do for weapon enchantments, and whether Twilight and Shining are 1 in 100, 1 in 10,000, or 1 in ten million freaks of strength (because they are extremely powerful). Currently, the only unicorn capable of matching them for certain is Starlight Glimmer, and for all that I loved her first appearance, she has... writing issues, that make it hard to judge her power accurately. It's equally possible that unicorns capable of making force fields that can cover entire cities are everywhere, or that Shining is the only one, and gauging how magic affects their approach to combat won't get very far without that.
Also, it's entirely possible that the reason ranged weaponry isn't a thing is because it takes two free limbs to operate properly, and earth ponies can't do that without sacrificing their footing and mobility. Unicorns don't care, but would prefer magic, and pegasi would have to be in flight constantly, which would make aiming an additional order of magnitude more difficult, even if mounted archers terrorized the Asian Steppes for most of the middle ages. You remember that archery contest at the Freindship Games? Those bows would be totally useless in combat. Between the terrible rate of fire, complete lack of mobility, the composition of the ground they're planted in messing with how far you can draw back without making it move or get yanked out of the soil, and not being able to hold your head steady while aiming, they were lucky to be able to hit the targets at all. A decent dragon or Minotaur archer who could actually hold his bow would have swept the competition. If that's the only way ponies know how to use them, it's no wonder they prefer spears.
The Dune stuff is fascinating, and actually parallels in some respects a hard sci-fi idea I've been kicking around. Long story short, spaceships are expensive, and people fight to capture rather than destroy. As a result, every ship has, instead of gun ports, boarding pods and a maze wrapped around the exterior, each one unique to the ship itself. Capturing a ship is rather like playing a cross between a 3-D puzzle and the most sadistic dungeon crawl you can imagine, with booby traps, dozens of dead ends, ambush positions, and everything else you can imagine throwing at a would be boarding party. No big fancy space battles, just infantry in brutal, desperate, close quarters combat against each other and the ship itself.
8977543 On the contrary, we know exactly how strong MLP's magic is. It's a strong as the plot demands :/
MLP uses a soft magic system so loose as to be non-existant. They just... magic. Example, Twilight can turn an orange into a half-frog abomination of a lifeform, but then says it's impossible to turn a male pony into a female pony, despite clearly having shown that her magic gives no shits about biology. We know it gives no shits because it turned the reproductive organ of a tree into an independent lifeform with the legs of an amphibian. In short, there are NO canon rules for magic. There is no consistency in canon for magic. It's just a total crapshoot.
Which is boring, and lame. So I just give them access to D&D 3.5's library of spells, power levels, and so on, cap average casters at 6th level, and be done with it.
It dosn't. We see pony bows use one hoof and the mouth in the Equestria game episode. We also see their sporting equipment arrows encase targets in ice. It may be that their culture dosn't value ranged combat seeing it as unfair. Or perhaps ranged weapons + magic are so dangerous that the Royal Guard, being basically cops and security officers, are not issued WMDs. Or perhaps the writers dont know what world building is and gave zero shits because it's a kid's show, and I'm wasting my time here because there's no real answer and the whole appeal of writing in this setting is developing an interesting idea. Namely, a world with no standard fantasy races.
8977603 True. I mostly like writing here because it forces me to redesign weapons and tools meant for bipeds to be better used by quadrupeds (. Such as giving guns extra long stocks so they can lean their necks forward to line their eyes up with the barrel without sacrificing the all important recoil absorption. The show staff definitely don't care, considering how they use round doorknobs in a civilization that doesn't have fingers.
Although I notice you drew from the exact same episode without countering any of the points I made. Did you just not see them, or what?
8977664 Well, I cant counter them. Nor do I feel I should. They are valid issues. Howeaver, they can also all be countered with more points like "THe bows may project forcefields to provide cover." There's too many possibilities and too many unknowns to truly debate this aspect of the canon.
Just binge read this, very much looking forward to the next chapter. Also hoping that Carla’s first action when they find Celestia is to pivot and buck her in the face.
And yet again the earth pony side of an alicorn is completely ignored. If the whole idea is balance, it is a wonder that the alicorns don't have problems all the time. I mean earth pony magic is a lot more than just being able to kick a tree and have all the apples fall into a bucket rather than randomly scattering everywhere.
8981112 It's also not really something that can be used to create hilarious consequences, and thus putting a segment on how to commune with nature in the middle of a comic chapter would be a huge tone shift.
8981767
Growing a venus flytrap, or audrey 3 could be funny. Having a long physical labor period described shortly from someone who never did such as well. Being overwhelmed by the thoughts and conditions of a virtual forest. Making Shining Armor sprout leaves.