11 - Illusions
Princess Cadence - 5/16/2018
Ferrier Quartz Mine - Mt. Canterlot, Equestria
Abandoned. Isolated. Desolate. These words encapsulated Ferrier Quartz mine. Cadence could hardly believe a national capitol was built over such an empty place.
There was still good crystal to be mined. Colossal shimmering pillars an alicorn wide cut across the unmaintained tunnels, split them cleanly down the middle, and formed walls at random places. Progress through the tunnels was slow, almost agonizingly slow.
If not for Twilight’s repeated concussive blasts the two ponies would have remained trapped in the mines until the mad queen either killed them or set them free. That fate could still come to pass. Twilight was slowing down, the crystal barricades were becoming more and more dense.
“I can’t help but feel we just made our cell bigger,” Cadence remarked as Twilight took a few moments to charge her next shot.
The wall in front of the ponies shattered, revealing a small pocket beyond the broken purple crystal leading up to a dense forest of crisscrossing crystal spikes.
Twilight moaned and rubbed her temples. “Seriously? What the hay happened here? This crystal growth can't be natural!”
Cadence’s eyes narrowed as she inspected the crystal’s patterns. They looked almost like the spears you would see used in a trap meant to impale intruders seeking entry into the heart of an ancient temple.
“You’re right. This could have come right out of Indiana Jones. Or Daring do.”
Twilight frowned and stepped forwards to get a better look at the crystal spears. “Or… a very old Oubliettes and Ogres module.”
Twilight trailed off for a moment and then quickly conjured a quill and scrap of parchment. With her magic nearly depleted Twilight chose to use the lowest level of this spell she knew. Both the quill and parchment would vanish within ten minutes, but she only had to visualize the mines and the crystals they had cut through.
Her quill sketched out the tunnels they had traveled down from memory. Accuracy suffered somewhat as Twilight hadn’t been too focused on memorizing her path, but she knew it would be good enough. Once the twisting and turning path as well as every branch she could remember had been sketched, Twilight changed the color of her ink and drew in every crystal formation they had broken through and then every crystal formation she could remember.
“We have a few minutes before this goes poof,” Twilight said as she pointed to her map to draw Cadence’s attention to it. “What do you make of this?”
Cadence scanned over the map and hummed. The top down view left a rather distinct impression of intentional barricades, and if she understood how magic could be used correctly, offensive geomancy. “Someone tried to hold this place. See these crystals here? We cut through this triple layer of crystals. I remember there were crystals growing off the vertical ones in the direction we were traveling. Like the spikes of a palisade formation.”
Twilight nodded in agreement and tapped the map near where they had started. “Things get less dense here, but if you look at the way the crystal formations block some paths but reveal others, and create new ‘hallways’ by dividing them… Their strategy changed. They were trying to lose pursuers at this point. There was a battle here once.”
Twilight’s face fell as she struggled to remember anything at all about a battle near Canterlot before or after its construction.
Cadence studied the map for a few moments before noticing Twilight’s worried expression. “What is it?”
Twilight continued to stare at the spear-like shards of crystal, searching them for any indication of who might have created them. Every spell left behind small details, traces which could be used to identify what had been used to perform it. If you knew that, you could get an idea of who might have been able to perform the magic.
Twilight’s ears flicked back as she drew a total blank. Genuine anger radiated from the mare as she sighed and began to pace in front of the crystal-spears. “I don’t… I don’t know anything about a fight here. I have access to Celestia's restricted library, the Starswirl the Bearded Wing, the Library of the Two Sisters which includes both Princess Celestia and Luna’s journals, and even some of Clover’s notes.”
Cadence’s face scrunched as she backed away from the slowly boiling kettle of rage. “So, you’ve read entire libraries and still have time to be hanging out on the internet? And become some kind of goddess of magic according to Shining. How?”
Twilight sighed and stopped pacing. “I found reading books to be an inefficient means of extracting the knowledge from them and streamlined the process. I only read if I want to have fun. Your internet inspired me to find a way to download a book into my brain. I absorb nonfiction and read fiction. It’s more relaxing.”
Cadence nodded slowly. “Okay, well, the good news is the density of these crystal defenses suggests were heading for an exit. If we can blast or cut through these spears, we might even be at the last layer of defenses.”
Twilight bit her lip as she examined the crystals. “I— I’ll need a few minutes. I’m running pretty dry. These crystals take way more magic to break than they should…”
The map Twilight had drawn evaporated in a puff of white smoke. Cadence frowned realizing just how much time they were spending below ground and how little was left. The alicorn closed her eyes and summoned her not-quite-trusty pickax into her hoof.
“Take that break. I’ll cut through as many of these as I can in the meantime.”
Queen Chrysalis - 5/16/2018
3rd floor Mage’s Laboratory, The Palace - Canterlot, Equestria
Oaken timbers creaked as Chrysalis pushed the door to the small mage’s laboratory open. The smell of bubbling chemicals immediately assaulted her nose, wrinkling it as an especially strong smell of sulfur and ammonia wafted through the cramped room.
The Palace had several small laboratories hidden away in its many rooms. They were intended for security to be able to quickly analyze guests magical items before returning them. They also served the needs of other palace security protocols, though nowhere near as often.
The third floor laboratory was rarely used, and while that meant it was furnished with crude timber, equipped with shoddy equipment, and given only a minimal library, it was easy to use for one’s own purposes.
No one had thought twice about one of the younger court mages setting up shop in the third floor lab to do their term-paper. If they had, they might have noticed that same student had vanished for several days before setting up shop last week.
Chrysalis trotted into the cramped room. Even in Cadence’s smaller body, an alicorn took up significant space, leaving barely enough room for her, the plumb and orange unicorn stallion, and Shining Armor to share the room with the door closed.
Shining walked in after Cadence, moving right in on her tail. Outwardly, he looked fine if perhaps a little stressed and in slight pain. No one questioned his apparent condition. In the light of his wedding coming up in a few hours and him having kept a city-shield going all week with only minimal help from other casters, well… anypony else would have looked worse.
Internally, Shining screamed at the prison of his own mind which Chrysalis had built.
Its walls were strong. The Queen spoke and her prisoner obeyed, for the moment. Strong as those walls may be Shining’s will was proving difficult to contend with. Another solution to keeping the shield up had to be found.
Chrysalis closed her eyes and cast the spell Mage’s Private Sanctum. From the inside, the small lab appeared as it always did. From the outside, the lab had just been plunged into darkness, without a single bit of sound escaping. Not even a divination spell directed at the Laboratory itself would be able to see or hear anything occurring in the room.
A risky move, to say the least. That sort of suddenly appearing counter-eavesdropping spells are never cast by people who want to have a quick snog in the broom closet. Unfortunately, it was a risk Chrysalis had to take.
If Shining broke free, as he feared he could, her plans would rapidly crumble. Particularly because the stallion knew Cadence and Twilight had been replaced.
The queen turned her attention to her disguised drone. “Quick Study, for your sake I hope you have a solution.”
Her voice was low, firm, and even. A mask placed over rolling anger and smouldering cruelty.
The drone nodded slowly, fearing how his Queen would take his proposals. “I have found several answers, my queen. None of them are good answers, but most of them should work without too many complications.”
Chrysalis trotted over to the open spellbook on the worktable next to the lab’s window. The book was from Celestia’s restricted collection. “Twilight” had been allowed to take it for personal study after apologizing to everypony for her outburst during the rehearsal. Quick Study had a way with words, at least when his targets wanted to believe those words.
“Is this the Codex Umbral?” Chrysalis said as she gently turned the book to look at its cover.
Indeed it was. The ancient tome written by the Dark Lord of Magic had eluded her while she sought her transformation out so many years ago. She ran a hood over its unicorn skin cover and earth pony ivory lettering and smiled. “So it is… I trust you haven’t fallen behind in our primary mission?”
Quick shook his head. He understood what his Queen meant. She knew he wouldn’t forsake his duties. He did as he had been made to do. No, his Queen had brought his attention to the Dark Magic tome for the purposes of reminding him just what she could do to him if he failed her.
“Not at all, your highness. In fact, I finished designing the spell this morning! If I don’t overstep my bounds by saying so, well, it would be unwise to use it untested. I know you only intend to use it as a last resort, but nonetheless I would suggest using it as a means of solving our Shining problem.”
Shining did his best to focus on the two changeling’s words. A week of fighting for control had exhausted him. He could feel the walls around his mind starting to give, but he had so little energy left the world sounded like it was all under water.
Chrysalis shook her head violently. “Out of the question!”
“You may not like the other options, my Queen.” Quick took a step towards Chrysalis. “They all have… Flaws.”
“Flaws?!” Chrysalis turned to face her drone and let her eyes return to their normal emerald-green cat-like slits with a flash of fire. “List, them.”
Quick gulped and nodded. “Of course. Option one, we dedicate a significant percentage of the attack force to keep the shield up and hope your domination holds until the critical moment.”
Chrysalis growled. “No. We need to cause as much damage as possible during the attack phase.”
“If we changed to lethal tactics, a death toll would compensate for the lower amount of destruction and—”
The Queen’s eyes narrowed. “I was certain I gave you a brain for the sake of your duties… Have you misplaced it?”
Quick took a step back. “N— No, my Queen.”
Chrysalis leaned down to look Quick in the eyes. “Then why do you think killing ponies enmass is a good idea when we need as many traumatized survivors as possible?”
“I— I’m aware, your highness, but—”
“Next!” Chrysalis snapped.
Quick cleared his throat. “Um, well, we could dominate a number of unicorns and have them take over shield control as a group spell. Then, if he breaks free he would need to overcome their power to take the shield down. At which point we could kill him, and use that as the opening for our attack. Later on, those who were dominated can be mindwiped of the incident, and will be hailed as heroes. You could take the credit for their work by claiming you talked them through the shield’s upkeep and it would only boost your post-invasion image.”
Chrysalis tapped a hoof to her chin, returning her eyes to normal before she forgot. “Mmm, not a bad card to play… A shame Blind Mare’s Bluff is not my game. I don’t know if I can dominate more than one at a time effectively. I never mastered this technique.”
Quick nodded understandingly. “I am aware, My Queen. It’s a shame you were unable to locate King Sombra’s spellbooks sooner.”
The Queen turned her attention back to the book, pondering what secrets might lay in its pages. Perhaps in that volume was something which could have saved her from her current fate. “What are our other options?”
“We could drug Shining heavily, leave him in the mines and a drone could take his place.”
Chrysalis scoffed. “No! Our other prisoners got out of their cells, as I knew they would. If they somehow escaped the mines and found him, it’s just more ammunition for their metaphorical gun.”
Quick’s eyes widened in alarm. “They are loose?! Why wasn’t I told! I’ve been working on a ‘teleport fence’. This is the perfect opportunity to test a containment—”
Chrysalis threw back her head and laughed. “There is no need to waste time setting up your new spell, Quick. Perhaps you've forgotten just who it was who turned those mines into a dungeon? Cadence won't escape in time to stop the ceremony," she turned to give Shining a pseudo-loving pat on the head. “Not unless this one breaks free. There’s a chance he could let her out of that little cursed hole in the ground. But you won't be doing that.”
Quick cleared his throat, a look of concern flashing across his face. "My Queen, while Mister Arvil is not used to using magic yet, and barring an emotional fit will be incapable of advanced spellcraft, Twilight is down there as well. She of all ponies has what it takes to escape."
Chrysalis' eyes narrowed as she smiled. "Perhaps she will find her way to the exit. I've run the numbers. She certainly could blast through dozens and dozens of umbral crystals. She will tire. Her reserves will burn away. Her magic will start eating up her very body before she gets to the final barrier. I've calculated everything to the last degree. If she makes it to the final chamber, Twilight will be in such poor shape practically anyling could handle her."
"And what of our Alicorn? What if they have teamed up?"
"A drained unicorn and an unarmed pony with no real spells to speak of? A danger? Ha!" Chrysalis swept her hoof through the air in front of Quick's face, making the changeling squeak. "They are no match for one of my fighters with a protection charm in their current condition. Even if they do kill this particular guard, they will be ridding me of a nuisance! My plan can survive their escape without much difficulty. I've made sure I will know if those doors are opened. They will be racketed, hunted, and exterminated like the mammals they are!"
Quick sighed. “Very well… If you are certain, My Queen."
Chrysalis nodded slowly, maintaining eye contact with her drone all the while. "I am quite certain," she said turned her head to look at Shining's blank face. "I am also quite certain I am pressed for time. The wedding begins in just over an hour."
Quick sputtered and whirled around to glance at the labratory's clock. "An hour?! Forgive me, My Queen! I was lost in my work. We need to solve your control problem, and fast."
Chrysalis sighed. Normaly she would rebuke a drone for speaking to her in such a manner, but he was correct, and more so, he was agreeing with her. "I can feel my control over this pony slipping quickly, Quick. If I did not have to send orders to the entire hive, maintain this disguise, and preform my own duties for this little operation I would be able to keep him firmly within my hooves. We need a good solution, right, now."
Quick racked his brain to think of anything plausible which had had not suggested before. The changeling began to pace what little space the lab provided. After a moment he turned to his Queen with a light in his eyes. "We could leave him to his own devices. Mind blank him of this incident, perhaps induce a full amnesia and leave him in the wine cellar while a drone performs his required public performances.”
Chrysalis hummed curiously, craning her neck to look into Shining’s slightly dull eyes. Her stare intensified, moving through the stages of curiosity to contempt. “No… No you wouldn’t be so kind as to let such a thing stick, would you?”
She turned her attention back to Quick with a snappy motion which seemed as if it should have broken her neck. “If he can chip away at my active control, he will be able to crush my passive touch. What else do you have?”
Quick took a deep breath and smiled. It wasn't a happy smile, it was a smile meant to hide his terror. A futile gesture when used on a creature which can sense your emotions, but one doesn't truly control those little social reflexes. “In that case, My Queen, our best option remains testing my latest spell.”
Chrysalis cocked her head to one side. She rolled her eyes and reached for her magic. Her horn blazed with green light as she lifted Quick off the floor via his throat.
“Do you think me a fool, Quick?" the Queen demanded, practically growling the drone's name. "We are doing research into Dark Magic! All of your work is theoretical, based on experimentation and scraps of butchered mage's notes. What, pray tell, do we do if it kills him? If it mutates his body beyond usability? He is CRITICAL to my plans. Did you even think this through, Quick?”
Quick gurgled and Chrysalis began to twist his neck to the side, debating whether she should snap it. It took her several moments to decide not too. If he died, her ability to study magic would be forevermore lost rather than partitioned away.
Chrysalis pulled the drone closer to her face to gaze into his very soul. “Do you know how difficult it was to get away from them for just fifteen minutes? Have you the slightest idea how little time I have today? Why are you so… masochistic?”
Quick gasped, his hind legs kicking in the air. “We— use it… on you… later… plan… untested! More— c— crit—”
Chrysalis let Quick drop to the floor. The transformed changeling hit the stone ground with a loud thud and spent a moment catching his breath.
Chrysalis turned her back on her drone to look out the window. “Firstly, we're not planning on using your spell. We're planning to threaten to use it in the event everything goes to the pigs. As a Queen, I would be fine if the spell is malformed. I have the same natural wards as an alicorn, after all.”
Quick rubbed his throat with a hoof. “Are you certain, My Queen? Certain beyond any shadow of a doubt? This is Dark Magic we have wrought. Contrary to your accusations, I know the risks we are taking. If I may speak freely, My Queen?"
She debated for several seconds, eventually deciding to let her most valuable drone say his peace. "You may speak, but watch your tongue."
Quick nodded and drew himself up to his full height. "As your intellectual side, I know the risks better than you yourself do, My Queen. Yes, you practiced, and trained, and studied yourself to reach a point where you could utilize my work after my creation, but I too have improved. I am a significantly better wizard than you are, though much less powerful, of course. Insulting my intelligence over matters like this is a waste of your limited time.
"I am an expert in Dark Magic, as you yourself made me to be. I know how insidious it is. I wield it on a daily basis, it is an old friend. It creeps into the tiniest crack and rots it whole… I have our memories of the spell which created us, My Queen. We believed it to be perfect as well, and yet Celestia found a thread to pluck and unravel our once beautiful tapestry.”
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes as a wave of anger washed over her. “You have a certain… truth… in your words.”
Quick smiled. He had her now. She would accept his suggestion, and he would be safe until the end of the next project drew near. “I worry only for the safety of our hive, My Queen. We have risked everything on this operation aside from the drones in the formicary, and the Princess's egg. If we fail, we all die. My spell is the most likely path we have for survival."
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "It is my understanding that the spell would most likely renew the control link, as I already dominate him."
Quick smirked, only to quickly cover his smirk with a serious expression as the Queen glared into his very being. "N-- No, Your Highness... If I may say something as One of One would, allow me to be your Malcador and take your place upon the Throne to free you from this burden."
Chrysalis slowly turned around, a cruel smile splitting her lips. “Interesting proposal… We did not design it to work on a drone. If the spell dosn't interact well with your hive mind, you will likely die.”
Quick bowed down to his Queen. “I have faith in my service to you, your highness. It will not fail unless you choose it to be so.”
Chrysalis spat on the floor. “And yet, you are so worried about reserving it as an ace in the hole and it failing me when I need it later? Please.”
Quick held up his hooves defensively. “If we did that, it must be used on yourself with no experience casting it. Do you truly wish to cast a spell of that complexity for the first time under the stress of battle? To say nothing of the stress which would come from not knowing you can perform it successfully?”
Chrysalis frowned slowly, she shrugged her wings casualty and lifted a stack of notes from the desk to read them. A quick pulse of light from her horn and the ink on the pages changed from an academic paper on the mana use of flight spells to a how-to guide for a very complex and potent piece Dark Magic sorcery.
Chrysalis continued to read the papers for several moments. Quick held his breath. Shining desperately wished he could get an angle to even try to see what was on those fifty pages.
Chrysalis hummed. “This is fairly complex… More so than our transformation. Well done.”
Quick nodded. The changeling smiled in relief. Finally, his Queen saw things his way. “I’m afraid it cannot be made any simpler, My Qu—”
An aura of black, purple, and green light based around Chrysalis’s horn. Her eyes transformed into deep green pools of light, as if someone had placed a lantern in her hollowed out skull. Quick yelped, Shining felt barbed hooks sink into his mind and rip him away from the Queen's grasp.
Blackness engulfed the young stallion. Blackness and pain. He could feel himself being pulled in three different directions at once. Towards himself, towards the Queen, and towards Quick. He felt himself twist, crumple, and evaporate, only to be balled up and thrown against something harder than anything he had ever felt in his life.
It had been even worse than the last time he'd been mind-slaved.
The chaos cleared. Shining’s picture of the world was even more fragmented than it had been before. He felt exhausted, but so did the walls holding him in place. They felt stretched, thinned, almost breakable… Different even. If he could get a moment’s rest he could—
Quick reached up and rubbed his temples as if suffering from a migraine. Except, Shining hadn’t moved. Quick Study had. The chaotic maelstrom the world had decayed into began to die down, slowly restoring normality.
The Queen's sorcery was no longer clawing at his brain. Instead, Shining felt the drone's mind intruding upon his own.
Quick winced as he felt the input from Shining's senses through the transferred link. Direct control of other bodies was something he was completely used too, but interactions with another mind were still quite alien. “This feels… so limited. Is this what a single body is like? How terrifying!”
Chrysalis turned to face her drones new body. “Can you use his special talent?”
Quick closed his eyes for a moment. The shield outside sparkled, and the changeling nodded. “Of course! It is mine now. I can feel the shield sapping his strength. I can force him maintain it for another six hours at this strength.”
The Queen nodded. "And his resistance?"
Shining collected all of his strength and lashed out at the new barriers locking him in the back of his mind. The walls shook, but held firm. Firm, but not as hard as the Queen's had been. A rather devious through occurred to Shining. If he waited till just the right moment, he could break free and take down his shield right when the bugs needed it the most! He would play along, for now.
Shining relaxed, feigning giving up.
Quick's lips parted as he chuckled. "He seems to have given up. I would submit that a fresh mind, even one weaker than your own, is far more resilient than his weary soul can bare."
Chrysalis smiled cruelly and turned towards Shining. “I'm so glad you're playing nice with my son. You know, he rather happens to fancy stallions. I'm aware of your flirting with your friend at the local comic shop. If you dont' struggle, perhaps I'll let Quick keep you as a plaything.”
Shining did his best to remain calm in spite of her threat. Quick briefly wondered if his Queen were serious, then decided she would never allow him such a gift. No, private livestock were exclusively for her pleasure and feeding.
Chrysalis looked sidelong at Quick.
"Nothing, ma'am. He's given up," the drone reported as the Dark Magic binding Shining to him mutated.
No one sensed the change, it was far too subtle for a wizard to see without dedicated equipment. New information began to flow down the link between their minds. Something aside from the orders the changeling constantly bombarded Shining's body with. Something Shining felt very slightly in the back of the back of his mind.
"Then tap into his senses and make him play his part," Chrysalis turned to leave the lab, getting ready to remove her anti-eavesdropping spell. "And don't buck it up!"
"I wouldn't dream of it, My Queen," Quick pushed himself against Shining's mind, forcing his senses to open up and feed him information.
The mutated spell opened up as well. Shining suddenly felt as if he were in nine places at once. He was in the lab, a library, a kitchen, two bedrooms, a street, this laboratory, and a bathroom all at the same time and all of those bodies were transformed into different people with different perspectives, senses of color, and attention to detail.
Nine pairs of ears heard entirely different things.
”Are you alright, sir? Do you need a doctor?”
”Oh my goodness! Did you have a stroke? Let me take you to a doctor.”
”OI! Get out of the road, you drunk!”
”Twilight? Are you alright?”
It was maddening. Maddening, yet informative. He was learning far more about Changelings than he had ever hoped possible.
Chrysalis cancelled her spell and smiled lovingly at Shining. "Thank you for letting me have that last minute fantasy as a single mare."
Quick spoke through Shining's mouth. "Of course, dear! Why, I wouldn't mind watching you sleep with other stallions after our wedding either."
Shining wished he could laugh. Ironically, he would be fine with it, assuming his love wanted too. Whatever would bring her pleasure is what he wanted for her.
"We should get back to the ballroom now... I hope we're not too late to shake hooves with every last noble in Equestria."
"I'm sure we wont be," Quick said through Shining.
The Queen opened the lab's door and walked into the hall, heading back to her place beside Celestia. Shining followed, against his will, as much a drone as a pony. Shining smiled inside his mind.
Princess Cadence - 5/16/2018
Ferrier Quartz Mine - Mt. Canterlot, Equestria
Cadence’s ax bit into the tenth crystal spear, cracking half-way through the surprisingly tough gemstone. There was no longer any doubt about it, these crystals had been created as weapons. The larger ones were nowhere near as dense, not strong, and nowhere near as sharp.
Cadence’s hooves stung from dozens of little cuts. Every time her ax broke one spear in half little razor shards flew every which way, as if a small grenade had gone off. How a shard hadn’t yet hit her in the eye, Cadence couldn’t say.
“Ow…” she grumbled, reaching out with her magic to pluck a shard out of her lower left foreleg.
Twilight stood up from where she had sat down to nap. “Sorry… I think I can get back to blasting now.”
Cadence turned her head and smiled at Twilight. “I’ve spent the last four days digging. I’m used to this. I can keep going.”
Twilight returned her smile and gently set a hoof on her back. “We don’t have time.”
Cadence closed her eyes and hung her head. “I know… But you’re able to use magic, and I can’t. I’d rather you be fresh for inevitable fights.”
“I’d rather be able to get to those fights,” Twilight countered.
Cadence looked down the short two pony length tunnel she had dug out. There were five more pony-lengths to go. “Point to you… This crystal is extra strong Think you can blast through it?”
Cadence backed out of the tunnel to give Twilight a clear view. Twilight squinted and craned her neck, looking through multiple small gaps in the crystals before whistling. “That’s a LOT of spears. Whoever did this had to be archmage level.”
Cadence grimaced and gestured to the forest of spears. “Then you can’t blast through this?”
Twilight smiled evilly. “I passed archmage level two years ago… But it will take everything I just got back. Give me a minute.”
Cadence watched as Twilight focused her power as only she could. Every last drop of magic heard Twilight’s call, cracked its knuckles and moved into her horn for some real work. No aura blossomed around her horn. Instead, her horn itself glowed a very light, almost imperceptible pink.
Twilight took a deep breath. “Cover your head. Some of the tunnel may collapse.”
Cadence’s tail flagged in alarm. Her eyes went wide. Her heart skipped several beats. “Um, maybe you should use several smaller shots?”
“Can’t. Too little energy. I can do an amp spell and one big blast or three small blasts. It will take four small blasts. Don’t worry, normally all the energy goes one way.”
Cadence took several steps back as little yellow pinpricks of light manifested around Twilight’s horn and slowly fall towards its tip, coalescing into a shimmering ball of light. “Uh, Twi? How about you don’t? Please?”
“Can’t. Already started.”
The ball of yellow light at the tip of Twilight’s horn brightened, becoming a shade of blue which reminded Cadence far too much of the flame from an oxyacetylene torch.
Cadence drew on her own magic and used her tool-making spell to conjure a pair of welding goggles. She had just enough time to slip them on before Twilight’s spell kicked into high gear.
The small blue ball bulged out into a mass of white-hot energy the size of Twilight’s head. Bright blue light poured out of her eyes. Crackling bolts of lighting raced along her horn from her head to the tip. Twilight’s hooves slowly left the ground. The ocean of magic she was able to pull from the magical crystals around her was to blame for her levitation.
Cadence ducked behind some of the larger crystals as the energy ball began to pulse with bright lavender ripples… and an audible dull, techno-like throbbing, beat.
Twilight fired her spell. A shock wave blasted out from her, scattering dirt, dust, pebbles, and crystal shards to the winds. The ball erupted, sending a thick bolt of blue-white plasma blasting down the tunnel. Crystals shattered, melted, and vaporized under the onslaught of energy. The sounds of breaking crystal were drowned out by the odd-choir-like twinkling sound the plasma-beam made.
As suddenly as it started, it stopped. Cadence breathed a sigh of relief as the cave didn't collapse. Twilight smiled proudly before taking two steps and falling on her face, now completely exhausted.
“Ow…” Twilight moaned into the completely clean floor.
“Hey, no fair!” A voice called from the other side of the white-hot glowing tunnel. “I don’t have a wave motion gun!”
Cadence’s eyes narrowed to slits. She recognized that voice. “Chrysalis!”
Cadence sprang out from behind the cover of the crystals. The spear-filled tunnel was now a perfectly circular gap just big enough for her to fly through without scorching her wings off on super heated crystal. At the other end lay a large open chamber which had once served as the mine’s staging area.
Daylight streamed through the cracks between the planks of an ancient timber door on the far side of the huge circular chamber. The line of molten crystal reached halfway into the room, stopping at the hooves of the towering changeling Queen.
Cadence saw the odd u-shaped end of the molten crystal and stone and understood what it meant immediately. The Queen had a force field. It could stop death-lasers-of-terror.
That didn’t matter. Cadence had no ranged weapon. All she had was a spell that could conjure basic forms of tools.
Let’s test this spell’s limits, then her’s. Cadence focused all of her will power, demanding it make the most tool-like weapon appropriate for expressing absolute rage.
The spell balked at her request and refused to budge. Cadence’s eyes burned a hole in Chrysalis's forehead. Rage boiled in her mind as everything the monster before her could have done to her love consumed her. Cadence continued focusing on her spell.
The spell still refused to budge. It made tools, not weapons based on a tool. Heck, it made simple tools and the tool this thing could hardly be called simple. Cadence reached for even more of her magic, hoping she could brute force her spell before the Queen made her move.
Alicorn magic and rage informed Cadence’s spell that they had its back. The spell laughed and pointed out that most of the materials were fictional, and so was the fuel. Cadence’s alicorn magic cracked its knuckles and made several demands of reality itself. If Celestia could move the sun, it could make a new metal.
Half of Cadence’s magic rushed into to back up the spell, barely allowing it to brute force its way into creating her desired weapon. A weaponized tool appeared in her left hoof with a flash of bright blue light. It was crude, unpainted, and barely recognizable as what Cadence had envisioned.
A single edged chainsaw designed expressly for war. A chainsword, the most barbaric/terrifying weapon in all the fiction she had ever read.
Queen Chrysalis's eyes widened in terror. “Oh—”
Whatever had been on the changeling’s lips was lost as Cadence squeezed her weapon’s throttle. Promethium blazed within its micro-motor. Exhaust belched out from hidden vents. The motor roared. Microserrated teeth spun.
Cadence charged, wings snapping open mid-step to carry her across the glowing floor, chainsword held high, ready to strike.
Chrysalis ducked and rolled to the side. The roaring blade sliced the air where her neck had been moments before. Cadence landed in the middle of the room and spun around, flaring her wings for balance. She chopped downwards. Chrysalis’s eyes widened, her horn flashed, a telekinetic shove threw Cadence’s blade to the right. The whirling teeth bit into the stone, carving out a long groove in the stone.
Chrysalis scooted backward on her plot as fast as her hind legs would allow. She held out her forehooves with a look of pure terror on her face. “WAIT! NO! I’M JUST A BODY DOUBLE!”
Cadence snarled and threw a flurry of slices at the retreating changeling. Each slice was deflected with weaker and weaker telekinetic blasts. “Horse— apples! You— blocked— that— laser!”
Chrysalis reached to her neck and pulled at a cord around it, holding the melted remains of a gold amulet out for Cadence to see. “CHARM! IT WAS A CHARM!”
Cadence swung her blade, nearly slicing into the changeling’s throat as she brought it to a stop close enough to shave some chitin off her foe’s exoskeleton. She looked at the amulet, then at the small line her blade had cut into the hardened exoskeleton.
Cadence’s rage simmered down as logic took over her brain. If Chrysalis could stop a plasma-beam that powerful… What am I doing with a melee tool?
She released the chainsword’s throttle, but kept her hoof ready to squeeze it once more. “Okay, if you’re not Chrysalis, who are you?”
The terrified changeling took a deep breath. Her hooves trembled, her eyes dilated.
“I— it is me,” Chrysalis’ form vanished in a flash of emerald fire, leaving behind an ordinary, unremarkable female changeling. “Dio!”
Cadence took a deep breath and revved the chainsword in her hoof. “I have a motherbucking chainsword to your throat and you choose to respond with a meme?”
The terrified Changeling's ears drooped. “I can’t not…”
The wheels in Cadence’s head began to turn. Her eyes narrowed in supposition. “You interrogated me!”
“Y— Yeah… Her Highness was busy,” the changeling whimpered. “I’m supposed to guard you… I was here, she gave me a script. I did my best to follow it but… Uh… I’m the fragment of her that liked stupid geek things. She cut me out of her, so she wouldn’t get distracted by silly things... It’s all I am. I can’t not be me.”
Cadence raised an eyebrow and looked over the changeling from nose to tail. She had no way of knowing if that was true, or if Chrysalis had transformed to lie to her. The sword she had created weighed heavily in her hoof.
If each changeling is a fragment of her mind given independent thought and personality based on what they were… Then they are not responsible for their “mother’s” actions. They’re soldiers following orders. We didn’t execute Nazi conscripts for the Holocaust...
It would be so easy to kill the bug and never question if she had killed their leader or just a soldier. Yet something weighed heavily on Cadence’s sense of compassion. A test was in order.
“Let me get this straight, Chrysalis didn't interrogate me at all. She had you speak for her.”
The bug nodded slowly. “Right.”
Cadence twisted her blade, tickling the changeling’s throat with its teeth. “You, being a changeling formed entirely from her hidden love of geeky things to get rid of them as a distraction. Essentially a big ball of memes and rising dorkness.”
“Yeah, why?”
“And your're here to keep Twilight and I from getting out.”
The changeling nodded. “Y— Yeah, but she didn’t think you could conjure weapons so um… I just had a shield charm, and like, stun spells. She needs you alive.”
Cadence nodded twice. “Did your Queen ever see Holy Grail?”
“Mhm!”
Cadence smiled. “Good. How about I promise you a shrubbery and you let us pass?”
The Changeling’s ears drooped apologetically. “Sorry, she hated the Knights Who Say Ni Skit and I didn’t get to watch it on my own, so I don’t have a different opinion. But, I'll tell you what we can do instead…”
The Changeling kicked Cadence in her stomach with both her rear hooves. All the bug’s might went into her surprise attack. Cadence felt herself fly through the air and land back first on the stone.
The changeling sprang backwards, turning a somersault, and landing on her rear hooves. She flailed her forelegs for balance as she struggled to stand upright. Cadence ignored the throbbing pain in her wings and climbed back to her hooves, revving her chainsword as she prepared for round two.
The changeling’s horn blazed. Cadence ducked down, expecting a spellbolt to slice the air where she had been. Instead, an illusion took shape around the changeling. Finely woven chainmail covered her from head to hoof, a black tapestry bearing the image of a bore in bright red unfurled over her chest. A gray steel bucket-helm popped into existence on her head.
The changeling hefted a greatsword made from solidified magic in her forehooves. “None shall pass!”
Cadence gave her a blank look and revved her blade twice before starting to slowly advance. “Okay then!”
“STOP!” Twilight screamed from the tunnel she’d blasted.
Cadence froze in place. “What is it? Some kind of trap?”
Twilight hobbled her way towards the two. The exhausted mare had to put everything she had into the mere act of walking. Once she’d made her way close enough to be heard at the whisper she could manage right now, Twilight clear her throat and pointed to the changeling. “She’s playing. She doesn't understand that you’ll really kill her. If she’s just a bit of someone's mind, and only that piece, she doesn't understand what seriousness is.”
The Changeling shuffled her hooves. “I do… it’s just anti-me. I can do serious, but it’s hard.”
Twilight’s ears parked as she found a solution. “Okay, let me put it this way then. You’re keeping her from saving her coltfriend from something horrible. She’s willing to go as far as to kill you to get you out of her way. Do you want to stop her knowing it’s the last thing you’ll ever try to do?”
Cadence nodded in agreement. “Yeah, do you want to lose a body?”
Twilight frowned. “A body? Do they regenerate?”
Cadence shook her head. “No. They have multiple bodies. Mini-hiveminds.”
The changeling shuffled her hooves. “I— I don’t have any others. Our Queen wanted me out of her head, she just gave me the one.”
Twilight bit her lip. She didn’t understand everything going on here, but she understood enough of that body language and tone to get what she needed. “Chrysalis doesn't like you, does she?”
The changeling shook her head.
“Do you have to work for her? Are you guys like the zerg, or other fictional hive minds?”
Another head shake followed Twilight’s question. “No. We’re a group of hive-minds that follow a leader. Because she made us. But uh, some ran away back on Earth. Not many though...”
Twilight nodded twice. “But she doesn't like you, and put you by yourself to guard an alicorn and a unicorn who is probably in the top ten most powerful mages of all time, if I might be allowed to brag a little. She could have but a whole army here, or her strongest people, but she put YOU here. What does that tell you?”
The Changeling shrugged. “That she thought I could do the job?”
Cadence frowned. “No. She wanted me to kill you,” she said, her eyes narrowing in anger. “Which means I won’t… If you’ll let us go. You shouldn’t work for someone who wants you dead.”
The Changeling closed her eyes tightly, a worried wince almost cracking her chitin. “If I do that she’ll banish me. I’ll have no one… I’ll be alone. I can’t handle that. We need company. We eat love, for buck’s sake. I— I have to try to stop you, I’m sorry.”
Twilight cleared her throat to get the changeling’s attention then smiled as genuine and friendly of a smile as she could. “Uh, no? You’d have me. I’m too tired to go anywhere, and I love making new friends. We could sit here and talk about anything you want. Including earth-geek stuff. I’ve got internet access and a photographic memory.”
The Changeling dismissed her illusion and opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t think of any words to say.
Twilight held out her hoof. “Well? What do you say?”
“Uuuuhhh…” The changeling reached up and scratched the back of her head.
A few strands of her mane fell out. As the least liked member of the hive, she’d always gotten the least amount of food. She was malnourished and knew it, and here was an adorable pony literally holding a big tasty ball of affection out to her on the end of her hoof.
“I— I’d like to… but Our Queen is going to attack the city during the middle of the wedding. When that happens, every changeling is going to become hated by you ponies. It’s part of her plan. She’s Cadence, she makes everypony hate us, she “stops” us, they all love her, she gains more power than she’s ever dreamed, uses it to make her old plan happen.
“So, if I betray them, everypony will hate me forever, and I’ll be sick all the time because we can't eat hate. But if I help with the plan, then everypony will eventually come to like us after someone they super-trust tells them she killed their Queen and the hive serves her now.”
Cadence raised an eyebrow. “Uh, no? They’d only hate you till Chrysalis’s plan works. And then only if we don’t stop her.”
The Changeling’s eyes brightened. “Oh yeah!” She smiled for a moment then frowned once more. “Oh, but… I don’t think you can stop her. S— Sorry, but friendship is nice and all, but it’s too little to risk losing everything for.”
Twilight smiled. “Well, how about a date?”
Cadence and the Changeling both turned to look at Twilight in unison. “A what?!”
“A date,” Twilight took a few exhausted steps forward. “You seem nice, and I like nerds. Especially big ones like my brother.”
“But… I’m a big bug?” the Changeling asked, cocking her head to one side.
Twilight snickered. “Uh, yeah. One who can become anything she wants to. Your appearance and sex don’t matter. Those can be anything we want them to be at any time, right? You seem nice, I like nerds, you literally need to be loved to survive... so, how about it? One date, if we like each other like that we can keep dating. If not, we stay friends. In either case, I’ll make sure Princes Celestia gives you a nice home, protection, and safety.”
The changeling blushed and shuffled her hooves as her wings buzzed. “Y— you don’t even know my name though.”
Twilight shook her head. “You said it was Dio, right?”
“That’s a meme,” Cadence corrected. “It’s not her real name.”
The changeling blushed and nodded slowly. “Yeah… I uh, that’s not my actual name. I’m One of One, Least of the Hive… Chrysalis kept her love of Borg designations to herself. I don’t have a normal name.”
Twilight tapped a hoof to her chin for a moment before proposing, “How about we sit down, stay here and talk about it?” Twilight blushed sheepilsy before adding. “I’m all out of juice. I um… I need to sit this one out. Cadence, if you can find my friends and direct them here with the Elements, we can fix this.”
The changeling eeped, her ears perking up. “Bad idea! Our Queen will come here soon if she needs to do plan b. I don’t know what it is, but it involves Cadence.”
Cadence raised an eyebrow. She didn’t feel like she should trust her apparent helper. “She has orders to let us go… Don’t you?”
The changeling shook her head. “No! Chrysalis needs to keep you somewhere she can get you easily. I know I’m not good at serious, but uh, well, when someone threatens to scoop your hemolymph out with a melon baller, if you buck up… Yeah.”
Cadence took a deep breath, still uncertain. Twilight reached out and set a hoof on Cadence’s shoulder. “Cadence, she’s serving the evil bug queen because that’s all she knows. She deserves a chance at a real life. Just like every other one of her, uh… minions?”
“Drones,” the changeling corrected.
Cadence shook her head. “We can't win with non-lethal tactics and banking on befriending them all.”
Twilight nodded in agreement. “True, but we can minimize casualties. We can save all of our wrath for the head of the snake. Be better than her, but not so much you become too holier-than-thou to win.”
Cadence sighed and reluctantly handed Twilight the chainsword she had conjured into existence. “You have a point. Take this. If she or anyling else tries to hurt you, use it.”
Twilight solemnly accepted the blade. “I accept this burden, for the Emperor and Sanguinius!”
Cadence sputtered and stared at Twilight incredulously.
The changeling gasped and smiled like a total dork. “That’s what I would have said!” The changeling vanished in a flash of green fire, taking on Twilight’s own form, but with the colors all shuffled around. Lavender mane with sapphire stripe, and pink body. “Twinzies?”
Twilight gave her an approving nod. “Sure!”
Cadence continued to stare. “How does a marshmallow colored pony like Warhammer?”
Twilight giggled and beamed a smile up at Cadence. “Hehehe! I love how hilariously violent your species’ entertainment is. ‘I’m a bit upset at my coffee shop raising prices. SOME NAPALM WILL SOLVE THAT!’ You guys crack me up.”
Cadence slowly backed away from the mare who thought 40k was a comedy. “Okay, so uh… You two head to The Greatest Brewing Store in Equestria. Tell them Cadence sent you to hide, it’s an emergency, and her favorite drink is beer. They will help.”
The changeling raised a hoof. “Uh, we know where that is and that you like it. We’ll look for you there.”
Twilight smiled. “We’ll go to the comic shop on the edge of the city. There’s a guard station right across from it. We’ll be safe there.”
Cadence nodded and began to run for the doors. “I know where that is. I’ll get your friends and meet you there if I can’t solve this myself. Good luck!”
We’re all going to need it.
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This is still great.
(This comment section was lonely, so I'm fixing that.)
Silly Cadance, WH40K is a comedy. A very black comedy but one none-the-less.
Shouldn't be capitalized.
on
motherbucking
you're
When I first heard of that "Identity Matrix", it sounded like a cheap cop-out. But instead of just filling in a plothole, you tied a lot of story elements to it in interesting ways. Nice job.
Also, given the events of the latest chapter I feel compelled to needlessly point out that you are a huge nerd.
Man, this story makes me geek-out even worse than Ready Player One. I love it!
The spell: "You can't do dat shit, bruh!"
Alicorn magic: "Hold my beer."
9085674
It does, it really, really does.
9085678
I love moments when magic says "screw reality, I'm upset." Much as I normally hate unscientific magic (but then, I suppose magic's rule could be that it overrides OTHER physical rules), this was a good time to use that.
Could have also said, “scoop your hemolymph out with a melon baller”. Because that sounds a lot more painful.
It’s really too bad you can’t double or triple thumbs-up a story.
straight
This story use so much technical terms and jargon that made it difficult for me to understand... for someone like me who almost never play games before.
9085547 I appreciate it :3
9085636 Thank you! For both things :D
9085595 Thank you, I'll fix those right away.
9085678 9085762 I figure it's a case of "Magic A is Magic A, but if you overclock Magic A..." After all it's the same effect, just with more complexity. One can make the argument that a tool is a weapon.
9085779 *ninja edits* That's a good one!
9085782 I'm not certain what you would call technical terms here... I'm sorry you're having trouble. If you point to specific cases, I would be glad to explain/point you in the right direction.
9085678
The very laws of reality, physics, and logic: "You cannot do this. Like, seriously. No."
My alter-ego: "Hold my vodka and watch, cyka blyat."
9085547
Here, let me bring my company and mandatory 40K memes. *looks behind to see suspicious Commisar. For the EMPEROR! * Comisar nods happily an outs down gun
9085779
I second that.
9085842
Isn't there a bit of a difference between merely overclocking magic (I fully intend to use that sort of thing in mine) and you know, inventing several new types of metal and a mythological fuel?
twi gets a date with a memeling nerd
i coundnt stop smiling of giggling
Awesome. Equestria has a chainswird now. Also for the love of Discord keep Twilight away from human news!
9085860
(I've got a Ponies in Space story going on with a human-ish (descended from humans) MC who is pretty much a Space Slav. If that interests you.)
9085937 Certainly! I am giving leeway here because well, Alicorns in canon are capable of BS godlike feats of magic. Moving the sun, seeing the dreams of EVERY sleeping person in the world and fighting off litteral physical nightmear monsters, Twilight's BS levels of magical controll and skill, Cadence able to just MAKE people fall back in love and be 120% okay with eachother MID ARGUMENT! ... Yeah, Alicorns are not normal casters in this setting. Let's not forget that Twilight's accention brought her into some kind of other dimension/pocket realm which Celestia (and presumably other alicorns) can access. And that Tia senced her ascend despite being what looks to be a day's trip via train away form her.
IMO, Alicorns are Greek-type/Norce-type gods. The question then become "What happens when a god overclocks a spell."
9085958 I am very happy you enjoyed this chapter
Also you have got to be one of the biggest nerds I've had the privilege of talking to, that's a compliment.
9085636
Meep doesn't do cop-outs. If something feels like a cop-out to her, she figures out something better. Hail, Lady of Horsewords!
9086105 I wonder if you would call that a cop-in?
I like this Twilight. Too many times ponies get all holier-than-though when seeing aspects of human violence when we can take it with humor.
9086116 I think that is the result of many authors believing that a species can be innately pacifistic and yet still become the dominant species on their world. Furthermore, these people also firmly believe that violence is NEVER an answer. Therefore, they believe that for a species to be kinder and more moral than humans (as ponies are shown to be) they must also abhor violence. They make ponies act in that fashion, and they become a bit less believable in a way which is hard to suspend your disbelief from.
I do not believe those things. I believe that all species which evolve must have the capacity for violence, otherwise they would have been eaten by predators in their early stages of evolution to the point of extinction. I also believe that violence is an answer, and an appropriate one under certain circumstances, I also believe that a more moral person than I would agree with me, and thus usually write ponies as ACTUAL pacifists. They dont' attack FIRST, but they will end that fight.
Pfft, 40k is totally a comedy. They took grimderp and ran with it past the point of absurdity; it's a universe so broken that it's impossible for anything that utterly dysfunctional to work anyway.
So, yeah, comedy.
9086334 40K is the Tropenamer for Grimdark. It comes from the old 40K marketing tagline from the long long ago. "In the grim darkness of the future, there is only war!" The sad thing is 40K may have started the 90s "everything must be dark!" trend because a lot of people don't get that it's a satire of 80s scifi and think people genuinely like grim for grim's sake.
Sanguinius would be proud.
Then its possible that whatever happened here happend long before they moved there, or even before they were born..... or its another secret Celestia is keeping
Wonder if she can copy and transfer information about how to cast spells to Cadance ?
Now that's a Chekhov's gun
I take it, that's one of those things that a Space Marine would use ?
Never underestimate the power of a melee weapon...and the fear it can cause
SILLY
, HOW DARE SHE 
9086518
Nah. Tis a Chekhov's deathstar.
Not just them, but 40k's setting is what popularized them. Chainsaw weapons have been around for a good while. I don't know WHY... IRL they would be terrible weapons >< Ever use a chainsaw? Know what happens with a tooth catches on something hard? *shivers*
9086056
Fair point. I tend to limit their power slightly, and I use the explanation that each pony is actually a ridiculously huge quantum computer stuffed into a pocket dimension with a void power source. Then the normal ones get an API and power limiter that makes it hard for them to do the really crazy stuff. Alicorns have figured this out, and wrote their own. They aren't quite running as root even then, however -- there's still a command that prevents them from being obvious about how to actually ascend. This was a decision made partly from politics to keep power in the hands of a few, long before the time of the Sisters or Discord. Too bad they've died by now, and they never removed the policy.
As for the dream realm and the strange alicorn dimension, those would be virtual realms somewhat like the Holodeck. They exist only in their own perceptions, and in the case of the former, the handling of isNightmare() and others is done locally; each pony has some nice automatic governors and networking capability (bonds of friendship are a bit more literal...). I plan to play with that by having their overseer/creator actually having stuffed their entire planet into an ACTUAL alternate plane for safekeeping.
9086056
I rather would.
9086968 Well sure! If you're going pure sci-fi that's an awesome way to do it! :3 But in a fantasy setting like this... And they are limited. Still need to know a spell that does the thing. The spell makes a tool, this is an overcharged version of it. It made a tool, specifically a weapon. Yes, it had to make new materials to do what the user wanted, but that was all related to making a tool. The spell normally conjures iron from nothing, after all. It's just telling it to conjure a different arrangement of atoms. Also did you catch how it took half her magical reserve for the day to do that? What's more, the sword will be vanishing back into the ether from whence it came within a quarter hour :P
9087613
Well, there is that.
...any chance she can bludgeon it with enough mana to make the thing permanent? Maybe persuade it that since the spell would now have to dematerialize the remaining matter, it could just save the work and leave it behind this once...
Or perhaps that much mana would force it to stay longer, too (Of course, that still leaves you the ability to have it go *poof* at some plot-convenient time).
Assuming that Shining is still sane/him after all this happens and they can crowbar the changeling out of his brain (perhaps literally, depending on how badly that dark-magic spell screwed up), he'd marry her just for an authentic weapon from Warhammer!
...Or did you plan to leave him with a hardlink to a slightly buggy (in multiple ways) repository of all known magic, at the expense of making their relationship a bit more kinky? Perhaps it's a good thing this is fiction, because I don't know which one I'd choose.
9087702
No. The duration could be increased, but not made permanent. Overclocking a spell can only make that effect work better. IE jsut like overclocking a CPU. That said, she could work out a way to make it stick around forever, but would in so doing create a new spell as the function of the spell is different. (IE, a spell that throws a ball is different from a spell that throws a cube. Which is why you designa spell that throws "things".)
No dice. THe energy to derez it is taken in the inishel casting. Of course, Twilight has it, and could potentially stabilize it by diverting that energy elsewhere. Of course, it's a 40K Chainsword, so it's gonna be useless after 45 minutes of use because good luck ever getting promethium ever again :P
Nah, he's not his sister... He WOULD have her magic him up sthings though!
No comment.
9087777
In order:
Object-oriented spellcasting. Why am I not surprised? :D
I vote that they get Twi to divert that mana. Aside from the fact that it's still awesome even just as a prop, she can probably actually pull that mana into her own pool, and be a bit safer in the upcoming battle. And I'm sure there's a version of that spell that Twi can work up that allows for limited-time summon of mythical fuels or something similar (reducing the cost in future if the chainsword doesn't need summoning too). (Aside from the fact that even just 45 minutes of whirling death can be a rather useful thing to have at times. How many Eastern novels have some sort of limited-use trump card, anyway?)
No comment, eh? That's suspiciously telling even on its own. :D
9087823 Object oriented systems are the simplest and require the least suspension of disbelief. Which is good :3 They feel like science, which we real humans know well and thus can easily make the link.
Save your strength, Twilight, the little pickaxe that could has this.
Probably the best available plan.
Complex to keep up with, but useful intel.
Nice.
That explains a few things.
Hey, sure.
you need to put twilight and cadence into commissar out fits as a coronation thing just for the memes man
For the chainsword, being semi-based on a real tool (chainsaw) probably helped things along a little bit too, I'd imagine. (Cadence to magic: Well, it's *sort of* like a tool, right...?) (Of course, some games just stick with chainsaws, like how UT99 will let servers set it as the melee weapon instead of the default Impact Hammer weapon - which in the game lore is itself originally a mining tool, IIRC.
And of course, historically there's been a lot of overlap between "weapon" and "tool" anyways. Scythes, sickles, hammers, axes/hatchets, machetes, and in more recent history things like construction equipment or similar repurposed as crude tanks. (Both the relatively recent "Killdozer" incident, and back in WWII the NI Tank which were basically an ag tractor with boilerplate armor and a random turret bolted onto it.)
9091338 Oh yes! Most tools make for effective weapons, but not good weapons. Chainsaws are in the camp of "would be cool but not remotely practical." In order to have the power you would want it would need to be gas powered, and the engine would be large, heavy, and unwieldy. A good melee tool is between 3 and 7 pounds. 7 pounds is for huge two handed swords. Most chainsaws of suitable size and power supply weigh 10-15 pounds, you would tire very quickly if you had to swing that thing in a battle.
Even worse, you can't defend with one because if that blade hits something metal, you're gonna have a bad time. This also means they woudl be bad for cutting through armor. Even WOESE you need two hands to hold something that heavy out to swing, so you couldn't defend with a shield. Even if you altered the grip into a hilt, it's still to heavy for even a strong man to wield as a one handed weapon and have any real control over the blade.
The spinning, whirring, flesh-shreading blade. The way more dangerous than a sword blade...
In short, chainswords are cool, but a bad idea over all.
It is a comedy. Or at least, it was. Games Workshop hasn't exactly done the best job of things.
9092110
Yeah. Real chainsaws are unwieldy, and a chainsword still doesn't sound like the best plan. Plus that whole "needs fuel" issue. Either way, there's definitely reasons why chainsaws-as-weapons is pretty much relegated to video games, yes.
But as far as the historical tools-as-melee weapons part goes, I imagine that some of them could be somewhat lethal, particularly in the hands of someone who frequently uses them as tools in their day job already. Maybe not the absolute best weapons around, but when it's what you've got, you work with what you have. (And maybe even use your experience with the tool to come up with some nasty little tricks with it that most people wouldn't even think of...)
9092157 It's still a comedy, the reason why merely changed.
9092299 You've brought up the ninja's weapons as farm tools, but there's one that lots of people don't know. The bill, sometimes called a bill hook is a rather nasty pollarm from medieval Europe. It's similar to a halbard and may have influenced the design of halberds, and... Is literally an unmodified farming tool. It is rare in that when completely unmodified form its use as a tool its still a very effective weapon. The other one I can think of is the machete.
A lot of people will say that the bill was DERIVED from the farm tool, but that's not true at all. The bill is just a bill hook that's meant for harvesting fruit from trees instead of harvesting fruit from bushes. So they put it on a long stick. Then some guy said "hey, this cleaver with a bit of a hook to it on a long stick would be really good at slicing throats of people on horses and shit." And what do you know, it was!
9092320
Ah, neat. Scale it down to a little stubby thing and it kind of reminds me a little of a linoleum knife, too.
Though to be fair, I'm not sure I actually mentioned ninjas or even Japan. I figure that at least in the past, pretty much anyplace that the farmers (or other sorts of workers/laborers, for that matter) as a group get fed up enough with whoever's in charge, their tools are about to get repurposed for something a bit more violent than their original intended uses. Probably not very effective today against modern governments with even semi-modern technology, but historically speaking, you get the basic idea.
9092371 You mentioned scythes and sickles, which are most closely associated with the ninja. See kamas, a type of sickle.
It would have pulled itself in (positive rake angle, yay)
There surely are simpler and more robust methods of killing someone.
It's kinda hard: she seems already pretty deep in that territory (for invading army leader)
Hehehe, Warhammer references ftw!
Though, I personaly prefer Space Wolves.
9086680
I would think it mostly is based on fear. A blunt object can break bones, a sharp one can cut flesh, a chainsaw will literally rip whatever it comes in contact with apart so long as it’s bellow a certain hardness, and the entire human body is below that threshold.
9097156 Yes. This includes your body too. There are certain weapons which are just a bad idea to use. This includes the mace and chain, which as it turns out isn't a real weapon but something made up in the Victorian age to make the medieval people look more barbaric (the Iron Maiden was also made up for the same reason.) If you tried to actually use a mace and chain, you would be more likely to hurt yourself than your enemy. The same goes for a chainsaw.
9097905
Obviously. I was just saying the reason you see the chainsaw so frequently as a weapon is because people grasp and fear just how badly it would mess you up to be hit by it. Rare is the individual that will assume whoever is running at them with one has an equal chance of disemboweling themselves.
9103447 She's had worse!
9103509
Yeah; shrubberies are much more dangerous. Never know when one of those heks are hiding a dagger. Chrysalis spared her the true terror of the Knights of Ni