8 - Rebel Without a Hive
Princess Cadence - 4/28/2018
Eventide Hall - Canterlot Suburbs, Equestria
“You three! Unhoof my bike!”
Three faces looked up in astonishment upon hearing those words. Each had their own twist on the emotion. The Sergeant's jaw hung lower than his helmet’s cheek guards. The Corporal's eyes dilated to different sizes. The Private raised one eyebrow and lowered the other.
The three shared an uneasy grimace with one another. Decades of service had instilled them with the values, traditions, and morals of Equestria’s Royal Guard. Before them stood an Alicorn, Princess Celestia’s own niece, a nearly divine being whom they knew could atomize them where they stood if she so wished.
They also knew she would suffer little to no consequences for executing soldiers who disobeyed a direct order. While such things had not been done since the Lunar Rebellion a thousand years ago, the laws allowing for it had never been taken off the books. Princess Cadence certainly looked as if she might be that angry.
The Alicorn’s eyes burned with an inner fire. A human fire. Nopony had ever seen an upset mother before, not on the scale of human mothers. Not on the scale of a species whose concern for their families pumped them full of enough adrenaline to flip trucks and tear gunmen apart bare handed.
The changeling had absolutely known exactly how terrifying an angry mother ape can be.
The private looked into Cadence’s eyes and saw his death. He looked down at the changeling struggling beneath his hooves and knee. This unknown person had infiltrated Princess Celestia’s personal estate, possessed some sort of knockoff Transformation Matrix which didn’t quite work right, and had attempted to force themselves upon a member of the cleaning staff.
The private’s mouth twisted into a frown. His eyes narrowed. Courage began to fill him as he summoned the right words.
The sergeant looked at the private, pleading with his eyes to not get them all killed, jailed, or worst of all, doing Cadence and Shining’s laundry.
The private closed the cuffs around the changeling’s legs. “No.”
Cadence narrowed her eyes. The private took a deep breath. “You may live here, Ma’am, but your aunt owns these grounds and her orders regarding intruders are clear. Also your order is nonsensical. This is not a bicycle, it is a living breathing organism, ma’am. You seem to be perceiving its metal bits exclusively.”
The corporal flinched and turned her head to one side to whisper to the private. “Did you just accuse a princess of being under the influence?”
Their sergeant pursed his lips. “I did hear she likes extra hard beer.”
The Changeling squirmed under its captors. “She’s not drunk, you can tell because she’s not flirting with all of you.”
Cadence frowned. The Changeling was right. She did become an extra flirty person when drunk. It’s why she had stopped drinking more than one or two beers at a time. It knew her well, very well, intimately. It would have been trivial for it to know it could pull at her heartstrings with the word mom.
I’m slipping up. I need to refocus myself. This world is weird. I can’t let that distract me from thinking like an Agent. That’s what I was “hired” for.
“I’m not drunk,” Cadence said, closing her eyes to calm herself as much as she could with her adrenaline pumping. “This is part of a classified operation. That individual was supposed to report in tonight. Their codename is ‘My Bike’. If you fetch Princess Celestia she will confirm this for you.”
The Sergeant let out a nervous breath. “That’s plausible enough for me. Corporal, please let her highness know one of her agents has gone berserk and is being held at the entrance.”
The corporal nodded and turned to leave, then looked back over her shoulder. “Should I mention the gem-malfunction?”
Shining Armor cleared his throat. “You should. It looks like he’s using one of the newer prototypes. Let Celestia know there’s a Changeling problem and she’ll handle this immediately, and this poor guy probably won't get in too much trouble. These prototypes can mess with your head.”
The corporal nodded. “Right!” She said before trotting back into the Hall.
Cadence was uncertain how Celestia would want to handle these guards stumbling onto the changeling problem. The best thing to do seemed to be to wait for her, and so the remaining ponies, and changeling, remained huddled near the entrance, waiting for orders.
Shining looked over at Cadence from time to time while they waited. After a few moments he cleared his throat, leaned over to Cadence and quietly whispered. “It really got to you with the whole mom thing, didn’t it?”
Cadence nodded. “Mmmmm… They are empaths. It knows how much I want to be a mom. We’re dealing with some really dangerous enemies, and I’ve been too weirded out by this world to do my job right. That ends tonight.”
Shining nodded and went to say more only to be interrupted by a blinding flash of gold light as Princess Celestia teleported into the doorway. The Alabaster Alicorn spread her wings in alarm upon seeing the bound changeling.
Celestia descended the short staircase and turned her full attention first to the two guards. “You two are to go to my personal chambers and wait inside along with your squadmate. I will be debriefing you personally within the hour.”
The guards immediately snapped salutes. “Yes, ma’am!” The sergeant said as he immediately turned to walk back inside.
The Private gave the changeling one last suspicious look before following his commander indoors. As soon as the two vanished from sight, Celestia closed her eyes, focusing on her magic intently. With a crack and flash of light the Hall’s grounds vanished, replaced by the black and purple interior of Cadence’s bedroom.
Cadence looked around herself with an odd expression. “This doesn't seem like a secure area.”
“It is,” Celestia said as she lifted the changeling off the floor with her magic, holding it at her eye level. “We made certain nopony could spy on you in this room. Luna’s chambers are secure, but occupied this evening, and the guards are waiting in mine. This is what we have to work with.”
The Changeling twisted in Celestia’s grip, clearly very much discontent to be suspended mid air. “Can you put me down, please?”
Celestia looked into the changeling’s multifaceted eye and headlight, her face centimeters inches away from the lightly glowing orb and bulb. “No.”
The Changeling’s ears drooped backwards exactly like a ponies. “Please? I’m afraid of falling.”
Celestia looked at Shining then nodded towards the door. “Guard the door,” she ordered before returning her eyes to the Changeling. “The window is an illusion, you’ll find only stone behind it. If you run, you die. Understood?”
Cadence did her best to bury her emotions, not wanting to changeling to feel she found Celestia’s threat a bit harsh. Especially since the changeling was already bound in such a way as to prevent him from running on all fours or flying.
The changeling nodded and stuck its tongue out in concentration, the small lights embedded in its flanks lit up red. “Yes.”
Cadence narrowed her eyes. “What do those lights mean?”
The changeling blinked in surprise. “They are brake lights… Come on, you know what those are!”
Cadence suddenly found it much more difficult to bury her emotions. Fortunately, the laugh stayed deep within the recesses of her mind.
Celestia set the changeling down, and the bug-motorcycle hybrid immediately twisted and turned until it was sitting comfortably on its hindquarters. The changeling looked between Cadence and Celestia for a few moments before asking. “Are you not going to use a truth spell on me?”
“Why would I? It didn’t work on Copy Four,” Celestia said as she casually turned her back towards the changeling. “Besides, I have Cadence. Cadence, I trust you are experienced enough with interrogation to not need any truth spells.”
Cadence nodded once, firmly. “I am.”
The changeling cleared its throat. “But she doesn't have rope, a board, a cloth, and a bucket of water. Also that wouldn't work on us. We breathe like regular bugs. You’d have to submerge our whole bodies.”
Cadence snorted and trotted towards the bound changeling. “I don’t need Enhanced Interrogation Techniques either, Changeling,” she said as she sat down just out of leg’s reach from the changeling.
Cadence leaned forwards until she knew she was looming over the changeling. “Do you have friends?”
The changeling squirmed, moving its forelegs to pull at the cuffs binding them. “Not many…”
Cadence nodded. “I thought so. You’re a people like any other. You have your own society. Do you miss your home? Hanging out with your friends and doing whatever it is you enjoy doing with them?”
The changeling nodded slowly. “Yeah… But being your bike was better than being in the hive.”
Cadence slowly leaned back, keeping her eyes fixed on the changeling’s. “Is there something I can do for them?”
The changeling blinked. “Huh?”
“Your friends. Is there something I can do for them?” Cadence repeated. “Are you worried about them?”
The changeling frowned. “Well, yeah. I am. There’s going to be a war soon, right?”
Cadence nodded slowly, never breaking eye contact. “Would you like them to get an education? Homes? Jobs? I’ll put them through school if you’d like.”
Shining, Celestia, and the changeling blinked in unison. “What?” the bug asked with a steeper frown.
Cadence leaned forwards again. She removed every ounce of emotion from her face, body language, and mind that she could. The changeling winced, sensing that the mare had shifted into a purely business mindset.
“What do you want?” Cadence asked. “You personally. You have wants, desires, friends, family. You care for them, don’t you?”
The changeling nodded. “Y-yes.”
“Why don’t you tell me how you plan to achieve those goals?” Cadence said as she steepled her hooves. “How does this all go in your mind? How do you remove yourself from this situation you’ve put yourself in? You’re not going back to your hive. Your old life is over. You know that. Make peace with it.”
The changeling shrank back, seemingly reducing the length of its spine to squeeze down into a smaller and smaller ball. “Um, but— I don’t—”
Cadence shifted her weight to one side and and cocked her head only slightly to the left, her eyes still fixed on the center of the changeling’s glowing eyes. “Work with me. Let me help you find a way this ends with you, your friends, and your family alive.”
The changeling’s lip trembled. Cadence felt a small twinge of satisfaction deep in the back of her mind. The subject had been forced to think about the reality of their situation and understood the terrifying truth of their position. The atmosphere was now right for questioning.
We’ll start with what exactly this bug did with Baby, and what it can do to get my bike back for me.
The changeling squeaked in terror. A set of orange lights beneath the break lights on the changeling’s flanks began to blink on and off.
Cadence’s train of thought immediately derailed. “Are— Do— Why do you have hazard lights?”
The changeling squirmed in place on the floor. “C— Cuz you… You installed them.”
Cadence narrowed her eyes to slits. “I installed them on my Baby!”
The changeling nodded. “Y— Yes.”
“So you had to attach real motorcycle parts to yourself to imitate my bike,” Cadence said as she popped her neck. “Do you have any idea how much I love my bike? Why don’t you reach deep into my mind, and see if you can grasp a fraction of how I feel about Baby, and imagine what I might do to you if you don’t tell me where my bike is and how I can get it back.”
The Changeling’s lip trembled again. “You— There’s— I’ve ALWAYS been your bike!”
Cadence frowned. Celestia raised an eyebrow. Shining narrowed his eyes.
“Excuse me?” The three asked in unison.
The changeling sniffled. “I ran away! We’re not one big hivemind. She dosn’t control us. We’re lots of little hive minds and she just leads us. They hate changelings like me because we’re not as useful. Because we do machines instead… and not even like, complicated ones. I’m the best, and I can barely be a motorcycle. We can’t… We can’t like, transport hivemates or anything. We can only spy from one place. As an item… Our Queen thinks we’re almost useless. So they picked on em, so I ran away.
“I couldn't become a person, and humans shot at me like this. So I turned into a motorcycle. I like them. They’re cool. I drove into a store that sold them, I thought, um, well… I thought bikes were people. Because I saw that movie Cars. I didn’t know— I was dumb, okay?”
The changeling took a deep breath. “I thought they hated me too. Then you came in to buy a new bike, and you picked me, and I felt you actually liked me, then we had a test ride, and I made sure that I went extra fast and rode extra smooth, and you loved it, and that was the first full meal I’d ever got to have, and then you bought me, but like, I think of it as an adoption because buying people is not okay, and you took super good care of me, and bought me nice new parts and you’re like my mom!”
Cadence felt a few maternal twinges in her heart, but squashed them down. “That’s a nice story. Why not tell me the truth instead? Or do you want this to end badly for you?”
The Changeling reached up to its headlight-eye with a ear hoof to wipe away a few oil-tears. “I am! I can’ prove it! The first thing you did to me was change my seat. You wrote your name and address on the bottom of the leather. Leather is an animal product. I can’t do it. My original seat was fake-leather instead.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Cadence, is there a chance she’s telling the truth?”
“Yes, Celestia,” Cadence said with a slow sigh. “It’s possible this is true. The first thing I did was replace the fake leather seat. I called the dealer up, informed them the seat wasn’t genuine leather, and got a free replacement. If this changeling has been my bike all along, then presumably we could find my name on the bottom of the leather… wing covers?”
“Elytra,” Shining corrected.
“Elytra,” Cadence nodded. “But they are a bugpony now, not a bike. Removing the leather to check isn’t a few bolts away. We’ll need a knife. I can approximate where the label should be and—”
The Changeling’s eye widened, chitin deforming like clay to allow the expression to take place “EEEP! I— I could just open my wings!”
Cadence nodded once. “Yes, but we would have to take the cuffs off for you to do that.”
The Changeling gulped and rolled back on her plot slightly, reaching up to her headlight-eye with a rear hoof and gripping the edge of the socket. “There's other things! Like the anti-theft device you put in here. Let me unscrew—”
The three ponies tails raised in alarm as they watched the changeling quickly unscrew and remove the lens from her eyesocket, leaving behind a hole leading directly into her head through which a mixture of wires, oil, hemolymph, muscles, and bundles of nerve fibers could be seen. The Changeling set down the headlight, reached into the hole with her other hoof, and pulled a small microchip out from her head until it dangled from her empty eye socket by three wires.
“You can read the number on the chip! It’s the one you put in me three years ago. I promise!” The changeling whimpered.
Cadence cleared her throat to buy herself time to regain the fortitude the grisly display had taken from her. The moment her body was okay with moving again, Cadence reached forward, gently lifted the chip up to read, flicked a few flecks of green changeling goo off the circuit board, and squinted at the tiny print.
Cadence frowned as she read the serial number. It was correct. Even a detailed search of her bike which hadn’t involved entirely disassembling it wouldn’t have revealed the chip in its place within the hollow tube of the handlebars.
Cadence moved the chip back to where it had been dangling, gently let go of the chip so as to not pull on the wires. “Did that hurt?”
The changeling shook her head. “No. But being blind in one eye is scary. Can I put my eye back in now?”
Cadence nodded. The Changeling began to put the chip back into her head. Shining turned away, pretending that nothing happening in the room threatened to make his dinner return to the world from the depths of his stomach.
Celestia hummed. “I take it the numbers checked out?”
Cadence nodded. “They did. But even if this changeling has always been my bike, we only have her word that she can’t also copy organic objects. The seat test is no good now. That chip tells me either you were my bike the whole time, or you completely disassembled my bike and if that’s true someone could have written down my name and address on the underside of your seat for you. You would have found it too.”
The changeling finished pushing the chip back into place and picked up her head-light eye, quickly screwing it back into her head. The Changeling kept screwing until the headlight was tight, which fit it flush against her face. She blinked in surprise as her hoof felt the headlight even with her eye socket instead of protruding.
“Oh! It can be flush. Yay!” She exclaimed with a smile. A smile which instantly evaporated when she remembered where she was and what was happening. “S— Sorry. I don’t not be a bike much… I didn’t need to. You love me and we went for a ride every day so I always had enough to eat.”
Shining’s ears perked as he realized a way he could contribute to the interrogation. “You know, whether she’s been your bike the whole time or not is irrelevant.”
Cadence raised an eyebrow. “It’s not. But do continue.”
“Nonono, I mean for telling whether or not she ran away from her hive,” Shining continued, gesturing towards the changeling with a hoof. “Chrysalis would have had to replace your bike three days before you came here, because we had a few agents watching you, your house, and your bike from then till you came here. Why your bike? Because your car was in the shop and we didn’t know how Chrysalis planned to capture you. I um, I was worried she’d use a vehicle bomb to remove all traces of the real you…
“Anyways, this changeling would have had to have been your bike for four days at least. You ride your bike every day. Meaning you were riding a changeling for at least four days. If this changeling worked for Chrysalis, Chrysalis would have replaced you before we got to you. Because she would have had an agent who not only would have been in your home for days, if not YEARS, but one whom you rode to remote places every day. Places you could have easily been switched out with a Changeling at.”
Cadence hummed, tapping her chin with a hoof. The Changeling’s eye slit up. “Ooo! You’re smart! I didn’t think about that. I really would have been perfect for that if she knew that I was mom’s bike.”
Cadence nodded slowly. “True… Unless her real plan was to let me go, arrive in Equestria, make me trust a changeling who seems to be a defector, and then have someone she could use to spy on Celestia and I with because her real plans don’t involve replacing me at all.”
Celestia hummed, thinking back over several years. “I suppose she could have other motivations than to regain the throne I promised her. Chrysalis may want to assassinate me, but I doubt that she would go about it in this convoluted a way.”
The changeling shook her head. “No. She doesn't want you dead. She wants you captured, disabled, maimed, and used as her slave… I um… It’s one reason I ran away. She’s scarry-mean. And hates almost everything.”
Cadence looked over to Celestia. “Does that reaction to having power taken from her fit?”
“Like a sock,” Celestia said.
Shining’s cheeks burned a bright red as he looked away, doing his best to not imagine his Princess in striped socks, laying invitingly atop a bed, beckoning him to come closer. Shining shivered. No one wants to picture a mother-figure like that…
His cheeks burned brighter as his brain put Cadence into those socks instead.
The changeling moaned and leaned towards Shining, inhaling sharply. Cadence stretched out, grabbing the changeling by her shoulder and pulling her away from the direction she had been leaning. “Hey! What do you think you’re trying to do?”
“Eat,” she whimpered. “It’s been DAYS! I’m starving. He’s thinking about you. It’s not fair! You wouldn’t put a pizza in front of a hungry prisoner, would you?”
Cadence giggled. “Oh, you silly bug. I would and have.”
Shining nodded. “It’s a great way to make someone do what you want. Hungry people want food,” his eyes narrowed to slits. “But you are NOT going to get into my head and eat up all of my love for her!”
The changeling squirmed in Carla’s grip. “I wasn’t gonna! I don’t want to hurt you, mom likes you… I can nibble a little bit and it doesn't hurt anyone,” her headlight-eye suddenly lit up as a memory came to mind. “Oh! Mom! Remember the third week you owned me? We drove to the beach. You had to get a hotel because you got a huge headache and almost crashed me. You weren't able to stand up for two whole days. I almost got stolen because you were in your room the whole time, but a police officer saw them taking me and stopped them. That was my fault, I was extra hungry and tried to eat my fill. I didn’t know it would hurt you. I’m sorry.”
Cadence frowned thoughtfully and let go of the Changeling, but kept her eyes fixed on her. “I can’t think of any way Chrysalis would have known that. Or learned about it. I suppose you have been my bike the entire time.”
Celestia nodded sharply and trotted around behind the changeling. “True, but we can’t be certain she isn’t an enemy agent yet. I believe your name is Primary Mechamorph of Subhive Three. Is that correct?”
The changeling winced and shook her head. “No. That makes no sense for me anymore. I left her hive. It’s also used because we normally have multiple bodies, but all of mine are stuck together in this one now.”
Cadence and Celestia shared a brief suspicious look with one another. “How so?” Celestia asked.
The changeling pointed to Cadence with her horn. “She loved working on me. Why do you think I’ve got body filler and sheet metal filling up my leg holes, and rubber for hooves? Mom would remove pieces of me, and replace them with better parts. Except those parts were not the same as the ones I lost, so they couldn’t replace my bodies’ lost parts when I changed back. After a year of upgrades, I could only be two bodies at once because she cut apart my frame and replaced some of the metal, linking most of me together. After she replaced my fuel tank, I was stuck as one body… Uh, honestly I prefer being like this. Thank you, mom.”
Cadence tilted her head forwards. “Shouldn’t that have killed you?”
The changeling shrugged. “I don’t know? It felt like I was dying the first few times. But the last ten times felt nice instead! I um… Sometimes I think you helped fix me. Like, you know, this me. I don't feel empty or bad or worthless anymore.”
Shining stroked his chin. “Hummm, is there any way we can prove this changeling is single-bodied now? If we can, that would help disprove the working with Chrysalis angle. She wouldn’t put an agent into position who couldn’t extract information.”
Cadence looked over to Celestia. “Got a spell for that?”
Celestia smiled. “One moment,” she said as she cast a quick spell.
The air around Celestia and Cadence shimmered, thickened, and warped, transforming into a miasma resembling a bubble of frosted glass. No sound would exit the barrier, and no one outside could get a clear enough picture to read lips. They could speak privately.
Celestia shook her head very subtly, aware that her general shape and movements could still be seen through the privacy bubble. “I do not have a spell for that, though I am working on one. I do not have high hopes for it… Not until we have a large number of Changelings to test it on.”
Cadence sighed. “Darn… I was hoping we could make this easy. If we can be assured that she’s on our side, then well, we have a very powerful ally. Stick some saddlebags on her, put weapons in them, she can go find me.”
Celestia chuckled. “Speaking of weapons, I have nearly finished yours. I also agree she would be a powerful ally, if only because she could tell us more about her kind, and we would have reliable information.
“Though I feel that even if I did have such a spell, it would be only evidence for you and not proof. At the end of the day, we will need to either trust this changeling or not. I believe the fact she did not capture you or harm you despite being in your home for most of a week is quite telling.”
Cadence nodded twice. “Very true, Princess. Unless as previously mentioned her real purpose is to assassinate you, not replace me. Or to spy on our counter-espionage efforts,” Cadence closed her eyes and took a short breath. “That said… Sending her as a counterspy makes no sense. Convincing as she may be, well, we could always simply put her in a cell. That plan has too many holes, unless Chrysalis is the kind of person to believe the smart approach is to go with plans that seem stupid on the surface to the point where they work due to people expecting the obvious.”
Celestia shook her head, making her mane flow gently behind her. “No. She was more subtle. She prefers to move quietly and push domino's into place. Then revealing she pushed them.”
“Then it’s unlikely she sent a changeling to spy on us, and also unlikely she would believe we would find such an idea so ludicrous we would dismiss it out of hand.”
“Indeed. Which leaves assassination. Are there any weapons with less complexity than a motorcycle which you believe could kill me?”
Cadence nodded solemnly. “Yes.”
“Even though an alicorn natural wards make it difficult for us to be harmed without the use of magic?” Celestia asked with a skeptical raise of her eyebrow.
Cadence hummed in thought. “Would explosives hurt you?”
Celestia frowned for a moment then nodded. “Yes, I’ve seen the charges you use to demolish structures. In close proximity one of those would most likely fatally wound an alicorn. IF medical attention were administered immediately, survival is possible.”
Cadence nodded to herself and turned to look at the changeling on the other side of the privacy wall. “Then one of a few things must be true. Either that changeling can not become explosives, is unwilling to sacrifice a body for her Queen, really is single-bodied and has no body to sacrifice for a suicide bombing, or is telling the truth. There's other possibilities too, but they seem unlikely.”
Celestia tapped her hoof to her chin. “I don’t believe Chrysalis would use a bomb to attack me. She would know such a weapon wouldn’t kill me outright.”
Cadence laughed, throwing back her head. “Tia, democharges are one of many kinds of explosives humans use. They are also a SAFE explosive, one meant to be used in a city with minimal risk of injury. That changeling or changeling body was a motorcycle. That’s a pretty complex machine. More complex than most bombs meant for war, and if I am remembering how they work correctly, it’s also about as complicated as the first atomic bombs. I don’t care how magical alicorns are, a bomb that turns an entire city of seventy thousand to ash and renders the land uninhabitable for decades after the explosion due to flooding the area with deadly radioactive dust would kill us. And again, they are not much more complicated than a motorcycle.”
Celestia grimaced, her eyes narrowing in disgust. “Your species made such a weapon of war?”
“Yeah. We did. Even used two during wartime. They are famous for being the weapons you must never ever use as they genuinely could end all life on the planet in just a few minutes if fired en masse. Chrysalis would know they exist, and it’s not hard to find the schematics for how they work.”
Celestia’s jaw dropped. “You have the plans for a doomsday weapon publicly available?! What the buck is going on between humanity’s ears!” She sputtered, shaking her head back and forth.
Cadence rolled her eyes. “Yeah, see, we’re crazy apes. Besides, Joe the Plumber couldn’t make one even if he wanted to and had the money and tools. You need enriched uranium, and no small time operation will be able to make enough of it to make a bomb. Not without—”
Cadence sighed and turned to look in the changeling’s direction. “Look, this isn’t the point. The point is the weapons are simpler than most think. Besides, she could become a big block of C4 or Semtex and that would work too. Or she could become a bucket of bleach and ammonia. She’s a shapechanger who becomes inanimate things… I have a question for her. Please drop this screen.”
Celestia nodded slowly and canceled her spell with a flash of golden light form her horn. The air shimmered and twisted, the normal world fading back into view.
As soon as the air was clear again, Cadence turned to face the changeling and asked, “Can you shapechange into a bucket full of water?”
The changeling blinked. “What, like, right now?”
Cadence nodded. “Yes. Please do it and then change back.”
The changeling’s ears drooped sadly. “Sorry, mom… I can’t. I’m too hungry. Using the energy to change would kill me. I used my last scraps to change back to normal so I could find food since you haven't ridden me in a long time.”
“Okay, but you could become a bucket of water?”
The changeling nodded. “Uhhuh.”
Cadence crossed her forelegs over her barrel. “Could you become a bucket filled with two different liquids at the same time?”
“Yes. Why?”
Celestia bent down to look the Changeling in her eyes. “We’re trying to understand the extent of your powers. It’s important for our final decision about you.”
The changeling frowned. “Oh, okay… But why is that important?”
Cadence ignored her question. “If you became a liquid, and it reacted to another liquid, turning you into a gas, could you transform back into this form?”
The changeling pursed her lips. “I don’t know if I can, but I did see someling else do that once. He barely survived it. But I’m better than he is. I could probably do it and be okay. I mean, I survived being worked on and stuff… By the way, we need to change my spark plugs.”
Despite the seriousness of her questioning, Cadence couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow and ask “Why?”
The changeling blushed a bright green. “It feels nice… Hug nice! Not sex nice.”
Cadence immediately decided to not ask what routine maintenance might feel “sex nice” to a transformed motorcycle-bug-pony. She cleared her throat, and continued questioning. “Could you transform yourself into a blob of mixed rubbers, nitrates, plastics, and oils?”
The changeling nodded twice. “Yes, if you showed it to me. We need to see something to become it. But once we know that thing we can change and tweak it.”
Cadence’s ears perked up. “I see. So if I brought you a blob of putty, and a small electronic device you could then become a large blob of putty with that electronic device attached?”
“Sure,” the changeling nodded. Then her eye widened. “Ohhhh! You’re wondering if I could be a bomb! Um, yes. I could do that. But… I don’t want to die… I won't go back to the hive and blow it up.”
Cadence nodded to herself. “You also revealed you could become any number of chemical or biological agents. You have the chance to kill everyone who knows about the impending attack right now, but are not.”
Shining cleared his throat. “She did say she’s too low on energy to transform.”
The changeling opened her mouth, winced then shut it quickly.
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “What is it, little one?”
“W— well, if I wanted to hurt you… I could rip the love I needed out of Shining Armor really fast and transform, then explode. It would all take place faster than you could react too. He would fall into a coma when my magic ripped out all of his energy at once, and we don't digest love, it’s available as soon as we get it. So um… If I was loyal to her you’d all be dead.”
Celestia hummed and turned to look at Cadence. “I do believe that’s sufficient evidence for me.”
Shining shook his head. “Not for me! If she really could do that then Chrysalis thinks her greatest weapons are useless. That’s insane!”
Cadence shook her head. “No, it adds up. Both changelings we talked to have said she thinks mechamorphs are useless. Celestia has repeatedly said she’s a subtle schemer. Suicide bombers are not subtle, it’s not her MO. I think we can trust…”
Cadence trailed off and looked down to the small changeling. “What’s your name? You said you abandoned the one Chrysalis gave you.”
“You named me Baby,” the changeling said as her cheeks glowed amidst a blush.
“Do you like being called that?” Cadence asked with a wince.
She shrugged. “Kind of? It’s okay for a nickname, but it would be weird if someone else called me that.”
Cadence nodded once and immediately applied her full creative powers to come up with a good name for the changeling. “Okay, so, uh… That will work. I think we can trust Harley. It would be too easy for her to have hurt us. Especially since becoming a bucket that would quickly fill a room full of gas wouldn’t kill her.”
Harley’s ears drooped back. “But I’m an Indian, not a Harley.”
“Calling you Indian would just make it sound like I was amazingly racist,” Cadence replied with a reflexive wince.
Shining shook his head slowly. “I think this will come back to bite us. We shouldn’t trust her completely.”
Cadence smirked. “Oh, we won’t.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “What’s your plan?”
“We have three guards who know about Changelings. We test them, clear them, and assign them to watch Harley twenty-four-seven. Unless one of us is with her. We don’t discuss our plans around her, and give her a chance to prove she’s on our side. If that happens before the attack, she can help if she likes.”
Shining bit his lip then nodded in approval. “That will do.”
Celestia smiled, an agreeable look twinkled in her eyes. “I will arrange additional security measures, but I like this plan as well.”
Harley looked up at Cadence and smiled. “Thanks mom! Um, can I have something to eat now, please?”
Cadence stood up and stretched her wings. She looked down at Harley, reached for her cuffs with her magic, then stopped. “I don’t know how to open these.”
Shining cleared his throat, and with a quick burst of pink light unlocked the cuffs. Harley immediately stood up and opened her wing covers, turning to the side to show Cadence the undersides. A name and address written down in gold sharpie was immediately visible.
Carla Avril.
“I know you said it wasn’t good evidence, but there’s your name mom. Your real one,” Harley said proudly.
“One question,” Shining said, stroking his chin before turning his attention to Harley. “About you and eating. The guards said you jumped a maid. Why? What would you gain from scaring someone? Don’t you eat love?”
“I do!” Harley exclaimed with a grin. “The mare I tried to feed from was having a really intense emotional fit. She was putting on a big air of being upset, disgusted even, about having to wash something. I heard her muttering about dirty sheets. But deep down, not subconscious, but in that part you don’t let others see, she actually loved it. That love tasted a bit like you and mom, and I like mom, so I uh… I glomped the noms.”
Cadence sighed and rested her face in her hoof. “Harley, you can’t just tackle mares.”
“I can too!” Harley protested.
“She means you shouldn’t,” Celestia corrected.
“Oh…” Harley’s ears drooped, her eye moistened slightly. “Ohhh… So even though she liked it deep down I should say sorry?”
Shining nodded, then froze in place. “Uhhh, we need to debrief her too, don’t we?”
Cadence’s ears stood pert. “Yes we do. Like, right now. Harley, um… Since you’ve fed on me in the past, take what you need to be okay for a day. Okay?”
Harley’s ears drooped even more. “I— I can’t. You don’t believe I’m your bike, so there’s no love there.”
Cadence frowned apologetically. “I’m sorry. I can’t help that.”
Celestia nodded to herself, stooped down, and wrapped the little changeling in a tight hug. Harley gasped, her ragged tail swished back and forth in a way which reminded Cadence far too much of an excited puppy.
Celestia let go of Harley and smiled at her. “Did that hit the spot?”
Harley nodded twice. “Yes, ma’am!”
Cadence looked over towards the door. “One of us needs to wait here with Harley until those guards and the maid are debriefed. I’ll do it.”
Shining winced. “How about no? Chrysalis is trying to replace you. Do you want to be alone with an enemy agent?”
“Trust needs to start somewhere,” Cadence said with a shrug of her wings. “Besides, your earlier point about her having had all the time in the world to take me is very convincing that she’s not here to take me.”
Shining tossed his head side to side for a moment then sighed. “Point… I’m just worried is all. Uh, Princess? With your permission, we should go now. The less time that maid has to talk to others, the better.”
Celestia nodded and opened the door with her magic as she walked towards it. “Yes, we need to go.”
The two quickly left the room, closing the door behind them. Neither Cadence nor Harley noticed the small pink sparkling shimmer as Shining cast an alarm spell on the door, just in case.
Cadence waited several seconds after Shining had left. She was worried as well. It would be easy for Harley to hurt her now that they were alone.
If I can’t fight off one changeling drone as I am now, I’m useless for this operation. If she doesn't attack me, she’s on our side… And also basically my daughter. Contextualizing everything I’ve done and how much care I've shown to what could have been a living person this whole time…
Harley cleared her throat to get Cadence’s attention. “Mom? I’m going to be a bike again. Please don't be startled.”
Cadence raised an eyebrow. “Do you have to do it right now?”
She nodded twice. “Uh huh. You know how you like to be a girl? I like to be a motorcycle.”
Cadence giggled. “My god! Somepony actually DOES sexually identify as an attack helicopter!”
Harley giggled. “I WISH I could be a helicopter! But no, um, it’s more comfortable. Especially with all this metal in me. It doesn't hurt but… I think your tinkering made me more of a bike than a changeling. That’s okay! I’m happy like this. Oh! We can speak telepathically while we shapechanged, so we can still talk now that you know I can talk.”
Cadence tilted her head. “You can?”
Harley nodded and closed her eye. Her body immediately vanished in a flash of green fire. Cadence yelped, jumping back from what she thought was an explosion. But the flames didn’t fill the room. They stretched, contorted, and reformed, flowing into a specific silhouette, and then solidified into a very familiar shape indeed. A vintage 1969 Indian Chief with a wine red tank and fenders, a chrome frame with black accents and a black leather seat.
Cadence felt a stirring of affection in her heart, one which quickly faded. “Well, you do look like my bike,” she said quietly.
<I am!> Harley’s voice exclaimed from within Cadence’s mind. <I can prove it now that I have energy. Sit on my seat.>
Cadence took a step forward then hesitated. The mare raised a suspicious eyebrow. “That’s not a sexual thing for you, is it? I mean, you like your spark plugs changed.”
Harley rolled slightly back from where she was resting. <Nope! Now if you changed my oil...>
Cadence groaned and shook her head slowly. "Realy? Okay... What routine maintenance things are inappropriate contact?"
<Hahaha! Your face! Don't worry. Nothing feels sexual in this form,> Harley said as she rolled over to Cadence's side. <I do have s sense of touch though, so um, please dont scrape me on things?>
Cadence nodded in agreement, then pointed to Harley’s tires. “You can drive on your own?! Cool! How fast could you go?”
<As fast as my engine will let me. I burn magic to do that, so i need love to go. Unless you gas me up. I can also cast spells like this, but I only know one spell…>
Cadence tilted her head. “What spell is that?”
<I want to show you, but it will be best if you have a seat first. Will you get one me? Please?>
Cadence nodded, trotted over to Harley, lifted one leg over her back and climbed on. The second she planted herself on the seat, Cadence squirmed awkwardly. “This… feels… weird…”
<Because you know I’m a person now?>
“Yeah…”
<Don’t worry! In a minute it will be super cool. Remember how sometimes we would go for a ride at midnight when you were just a bit geeky feeling?>
Cadence shrugged. “Sure? What about it?”
The mp3 player Cadence had installed on Harley’s handlebars switched on, seemingly if it’s own accord. A single cymbal began to tap out a mechanical-rhythm. The sound was vaguely familiar to Carla but too far from her recent memory to place.
<Let’s ride!> Harley exclaimed as she cast her only spell. Minor Glamour.
The guitar kicked in. Cadence’s eyes lip up as she recognized the song in a heartbeat. A wave of illusionary fire ripped down the changeling-motorcycle’s body from her front wheel to her back. The fire appeared to change Harley’s colors, leaving behind a blackened chrome paint job, studded with the occasional smouldering or flaming patch, as if she were partially aflame. Unlike her wheels, which appeared to be entirely made of fire.
Cadence sat on the back of a blackened, burning, hellish version of her favorite model of bike while Spiderbait’s cover of Ghostriders in the Sky shook the room around her.
A tear came to Cadence’s eyes. “We can’t go out of the room yet…”
<I know. Sorry… I want to ride too!>
“Don’t worry, Baby. We will as soon as Celestia gets back and we can let her know that a non-optional bike ride is going to happen,” Cadence said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. No one could have known how many times I fantasized about being the Ghost Rider other than my bike itself.
< Are you still weirded out?>
Cadence nodded. “I’ll get over it.”
<Are you sure?>
Cadence smiled. “I’m sure. It’s about time magic did something metal.”
<Would it help to know that this illusion will leave behind a trial of fire like in the movie?>
Suddenly, Cadence felt the awkwardness completely disintegrate. “I love you!”
<I love you too, Mom.>
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A very interesting chapter, hope her 'Baby' is on the up and up.
10 out of 10 would cuddle the bug.
9027298
This is awesome!
I love how this story has progressed so-far.
Words cannot describe how much I love this story and chapter.
I wish I had a changeling that could go ghostrider bike that made it epic, great chapter
Love this. and it pains me to post this, but:
sergeant
ma'am
sergeant
too
steepled (always adorable to see a pony do)
changeling
fall
9027362 Why does it pain you? I dont have an editor for this story. There's bound to be some mistakes. Thank you for the help :3
Howeaver...
You capitalize ma'am if it's the formal form of address for a Queen. So that one's not a mistake.
*Hugs* Meep, this was an excellent chapter. Thank you.
*chuckles after reading the chapter*
Well, kudos to you. You actually pulled that joke off.
9027366
It just seemed harsh and cold. You wrote such a lovely chapter of such a great story, and my response was to list the things that were wrong with it. I'm glad that it didn't bother you.
9027443 You were not rude, and your assistance improves the chapter for others. I am always happy to receive polite critiques.
9027438 Shapechangers would REALLY throw a wrench in human identity of mind theory XD
Now THAT is how you do metal. A shapeshifting, emotion-eating, cybernetic bug that turns into a motercycle that has a fire trail. *throws horns*
Throwing horns is the correct terminology, yes?
9027443
Way back in the day when we had to hand-crank the old 56K modem and FimFiction used to constantly get 502 errors, I would read some of Meep's early works and would talk about how I liked certain parts and how they made me feel.
Then I would put a break in my comments and stick corrections below. (Kinda like that one above).
I'm not sure if that would help you or not, but it helped me out when I wanted to gush about how awesome [amazimg Meep story title here] was but still wanted to be helpful with corrections.
Nowadays, I read more often on my tablet and it's... difficult to work that way.
9027550
Well, now you've got me reminiscing. I remember using a 300 baud modem and dreaming about using 2400 baud...
9027530
Indeed it is, Brother! \m/
9027550
Those helped me out a lot :3 Popmannn just fixes things and dosnt show me what I did wrong so I dont learn much. (Though my god, I need a real editor for most things XD) Mos tof my spelling fixes come from your (and other's) comment corrections. It also helps me a lot emotionally to see people care about my stories via them commenting on them to help or to share opinions.
If you would like I can help you find a case for your tablet that includes a physical keyboard :3
Aw. Harley is cute.
I wonder how she wil sacrifice herself to save Cadence?
Did you get the idea about Harley when you laid your eyes on the cover image? If so, damn, I must applause your creative idea.
9027807 No, I had the idea for a changeling being a motorcycle since I saw Thorax become a rock. I got to use it here because this Cadence rides a motorcycle.
Would you rather be called Quinn, not-Harley? That's the next name that popped into my head when Cadence not-nick-named you.
It's even kind of appropriate. Harley Quinn was the underling of a sadistic, psychotic, crazed, megalomaniacal villain bent on conquest and the destruction of his foe, and she was someone who was sometimes cute, sometimes kind, but still had a quirky "off" vibe that a changeling with random motorcycle bits incorporated into their body would have in spades!
Heck, she even turns on the Joker and works with Batman in more than one version.
Which makes Cadence Batmare! And that is just hilarious.
9025990
No love for Enterprise? It's only the best Star Trek / Quantum Leap crossover in existence.
9027851 I am so happy that someone got the joke ^>^
9027550
I discovered fimfiction on my tablet. And it was getting long in the tooth, so when I decided it was time to replace it, I got a 2-in-1 laptop. the screen can detach and act as a tablet on its own, or reattach backwards and have the keyboard folded behind it for extended battery life (second battery in the keyboard base!)
I've also seen adorable little mini-keyboards that connect via bluetooth that you can slip in a pocket but still work better than screen-typing.
9027861
I'm not even a comic book nerd. I just remember the tidbits of things I come across really well!
And I finally finished the chapter, and it was hilarious.
9027857
I don't remember Captain Archer ever talking to an invisible friend named Ziggy...
9027871
Well, talking to his dog could be a pretty clever misdirection. considering that we know from the last episode that everything that happens on the ship is recorded for posterity.
...and now I want to go back and rewatch the series to see if that theory holds water. I'm not sure if I can survive that much condensed Bakula a second time.
9027918
You should just write a fanfic about the Enterprise crash landing on Equestria (so you can post it here) and make it so. It is an amusing idea.
Alright, I'm going to resist further impulses to chitchat. This is getting off topic from the awesome chapter. READ THE CHAPTER PONEIS!
Um... what if we haven't read the chapters before it?
Then read the whole story! This one is good!
9027923
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... I mean... YES we did get off topic. <Starlight meme face.>
Baby is best Harley. Nailed it.
Because those plans are whole steel pipe, a bit of gunpowder and two lumps of U-235?
It will be pretty hard to explain why wouldn't Chrysalis just end this conflict right there and now.
9027948 It's not that hard to explain. Have you looked into what it takes to get those two lumps of uranium? About 900 million dollars with of specilzied centrifuges, a whole network of uranium mines and power plants... It's just not feesable for people to scratch build a nuke. ANd Changebugs can only be things hey have seen, so it's not like she can make drones become uranium, even if she wasn't under the impression mechanomorphs are effectively useless due to her NOT wanting to just kill literally everyone.
And now we are one step closer to having the cover image happen in the story.
9027951
). Even non-stealing plan is relatively viable: single calutron + changelings copying U-235 from thin film on the glass. Then she proceeds to power demonstration on something not very valuable and ultimatum like "I will be vaporizing one Equestrian city per hour until all my demands are met" --- no need to kill anyone.
Humans have already done all hard job. She just need to use infiltrators to steal a tiny piece of U-235 or Pu-239 from lab for changelings to copy (or just blatantly steal human nuclear weapons
9027995 She'd have to have an entirely different motive to even think about using nukes
You don't nuke places you want to rule. You also don't actually use a nuke as a threat because, well, Gaining power via overt threats using weapons of mass destruction will not work out for you long term. Sure maybe she takes Equestria via nuclear threat, but the Minotaurs remember how she got into power and one night she wakes up with a Minotaur assassin spraying her throat full of Raid. Then Equestria is the newest Provence of Minos.
Well, it's pretty obvious by now that the story's central theme is identity, which is honestly a great theme and it started it out great, but then it just got weird. Don't get me wrong, playing around with the idea of what a trans person would do if they actually were able to get a real sex transformation, but with the ironic twist of also getting species swapped was interesting and I was excited to see where you'd go with it, but I think you got side tracked and just plugged on with identity as a major theme until you ended up in a rabbit hole. How would a changeling/intelligent creature make sense of its identity in multiple bodies, I don't know and I don't think there's going to be an apt explanation that warrants having thrown it in (Instead it's just a jarring break from cannon, because we get it you like Star Trek and the Borg. I do too. However, I do hate crossovers, especially when they're haphazardly tossed into a story that's not advertised as a crossover and not even covered up by the writers own interpretation of whatever it was they felt the need to include.) If magic could allow gender swaps, what would the implication be for people who don't have gender dysphoria be to use it? Answer: there is none, and because of that, again, why should I care except that it makes the protagonist feel normal that other people change bodies like I change jackets (I would have expected at least some sort of emotional response or righteous indignation of a hetero normative person playing dress up around someone that is Trans)? You've gone with so many odd ways to explore identity, but completely passed over the ones that would make sense given the protagonists history that would be interesting to explore. You're protagonist has spent their whole life being Trans, and has probably secretly owned that as an integral part of who they are that I'm honestly surprised you haven't brought up any implications of what happens when that's stripped away. Their male persona was a hated part of them, but it was still a part and without it I wonder if there's something they might miss about it. Does the character still consider themselves trans if they're now officially female? What are the implications if they do? If they don't, how do they deal with dismissing an idea that's been central to their identity for their whole life? I was only in the military for six years and when I realized I was no longer an active member of the military even though I wanted to separate I had an identity crisis because I couldn't remember who I was before I joined or who I was supposed to be out of the military, I could only imagine what would happen with something that could be considered larger to the persons identity. What happens if that idea of being normal like everyone else doesn't meet the protagonists lofty expectations? Honestly, knowing human nature my bet is that there'd be some disappointment if not some depression. Our expectations of what we want tend to not live up to reality, and just dismissing that for new topics on identity from new OC's that we aren't familiar with or invested in feels uninspired and ham-fisted. There's so many ways you could explore identity internally within the main character that it's odd that you're skipping those just to explore identity in side characters. You're theme of identity pops up so often that it was even injected into the bit about MK Ultra and mind magic, and it gave me an oddly intimate and uncomfortable insight into your worldview. You consider identity so important and sacrosanct that the mind can't be interfered with, but at the same time hold no qualms about using body transformation in your story on unborn infants when presumably with magic you could fix whatever anomalies lead to gender dysphoria in the first place, but nope. Which feels erroneous because I'm pretty sure swapping the babies gender wouldn't do anything to fix the symptoms that lead to a feeling of wrongness in a Trans person. And if individuality is so important and the Equestrians so enlightened about identity then I'm sure they'd see the merits of allowing individuals to self determine and not stripping that choice from them, or giving them an option that doesn't exist on this world "Magical Mind Therapy," (You even explained earlier in the story that Necromancy could be used for good, so why is mind magic such a no-no? Honestly, would love to have seen that in the story. A Trans person's interpretation of magic mind therapy to fix gender dysphoria would have been interesting). I was able to at least understand where you were coming from or what message you were trying for, and then out of nowhere you brought this godawful addition: making a changeling female who transforms male to match (it's owner, or 'mom' since you didn't want to go the unintended slavery route) and is basically a cross between a transformer, a bike version of Kitt from Knight Rider, and that also can transform into a pop culture reference to the Ghost rider bike, and gets its jollies off to oil changes is just so odd and immersion breaking that I have to start wondering what kind of eccentric person is sitting behind the screen writing this. Do you actually have anything meaningful or poignant to say about identity, or did you just get hit on the head by the good idea fairy and roll with it?
Maybe that rant was a bit harsh, but I was generally elated at the twist in the first chapter, and now I'm left wondering if this isn't just another bottom of the pile self insert.
Survived.
9028098 I'm sorry you're dissatisfied. Howeaver, it seems you want something else out of this story than what it actually has and intended to have. If you want a story exploring themes of identity in an extremely realistic way, go read literary fiction. This is meant to be a tongue-in-cheek schlocky story. Any deeper meaning than "This is meant to be silly and fun for the sake of silly and fun" is 100% in your head and on you. The point of everything in this story so far is to set up what the person who asked me to write it as requested, "The Canterlot Wedding as a cheezy 80s Action Movie".
You're basically watching the set up to a cheesy action movie expecting to be watching a very cerebral psychological thriller. This is a story tagged "adventure comedy" and the cover is Cadence. On a motorcycle. Jumping sharks. With ninjas, fire, and a dinosaur. I honestly do not understand how anyone could think this story is meant to be a serious story on any topic at all.
You've got a problem with Harley, and that's fine. Not every story is for everyone. Nor should they be. That would lead to boring stories. Sorry this wasn't what you wanted it to be. Your story idea sounds interesting though, why don't you write it? I'd read it. *Edit: I checked, you do write. You're even good at it. You should totally write a story about identity, focusing on how a transformation could change it. I think you would do it justice.
That being said, I do take issue with your argument here:
I don't. Carter does. You make the assumption that I put my own worldviews into my stories, and sure. I do. Every author does. But I dont care much about identity. I think people focus on it way too much, seemingly intending to use it to create new things to come into conflict about. Carter objects to mind control in a paragon way, saying it's always evil. Honestly, it's Celestia that's closer to my own views on that subject.
Let me put on my serious hat for a minute.
/me puts her hat on.
Ponies are not humans. Why would non-humans, with non-human biology, a code of ethics formed by non-human societies, who have a different history from humans, do not utilize a human form of government nor politics, and didn't even evolve under the same conditions as humans, do things the same way humans would?
They wouldn't. Any similarities would be down to coincidence. Ponies are not humans. The way their society works should not make sense to humans in each and every way because that would be massively unrealistic. The only thing that matters is their society makes seance by their own logic, and has no fundamental flaws which would cause it to collapse. There is no "correct" way of doing things like this. Even human cultures will have massively different opinions on these matters, and they share almost everything with us.
Aliens should not be humans in costumes. They should be aliens. But if you make them purly alien, the story is bad because it has to still be interesting to humans. The solution is aliens should feel like people but also be weird in unexpected ways.
/me takes her hat off.
Nah. Carter/Carla/Cadence has their similarities to me, sure. But really, all humans have plenty in common with each other. You would be able to name similarities they have to you.
A self insert of me would immanently find a place far away from every pony, work out a means to survive, and then start telling silly stories for fun because that what I like to do... Honestly, Equestria would be terrifying for me. Ponies are aggressively friendly and I am very introverted and do not have any desire to be extroverted.
If I did the classic self insert wish fulfillment thing the character of that story would be pretty boring to read about. They would be a shy social recluse with 1-2 good friends, one of which would be their sexual partner, and they would spend their time writing stories and doing whatever random hobby they felt like doing when they felt like doing it. The one "Sue" thing about them would be being a 100% prefect shape changer, as that's about the only magical power I'd really want. Anything, anytime, anywhere, no consequences. But I wouldn't do anything of interest to others with it. I'd mostly use it for kinky stuff, which I wouldn't want anyone to see.
I'd be a pretty boring self insert, frankly. Also, I am doing this story on commission. If this were an insert of anyone, it would be the commissioner. Canary in a Coal Mine. (It's not, as far as I know.)
Anywho, sorry this story isn't up your ally. TTYL.
9028098 I can't, I just... This is extremely necessary...
Also, seriously? A self insert? Do you not see the giant bold letters at the top of the page that says "Comissioned by Canary In The Coal Mine."?
9028154
Alright, so I was wayyy off base. I just got so excited by the twist in the first chapter that I kind of invented what I thought the premise was. Doesn't help that I ignored the tags, commission, description, and art because of what I hoped you were writing. And then I just got carried away from there. I actually enjoyed the story up until the Harley bit, and I'll probably keep reading because I know it's there now. I also jumped the shark on theme even though I know interpreting things like writing can be largely subjective, and sure enough, since I was looking for it I found it, or thought I found it. All around my bad, and I'm sorry about that long whiny rant. And you're right, if I really want a story with that sort of theme that bad, I should write it myself.
"I honestly do not understand how anyone could think this story is meant to be a serious story on any topic at all."
Basically, because I just clicked on you're story and put my blinders on. It's embarrassing and I feel like an idiot, but that's what happened.
Edit: disregard the whole self-insert bit. That was just an ad hominem. I got carried away and didn't actually think this was a self-insert.
9028216 Hey, dont' sweat it! Your idea for what this story could be is a very interesting one, and I would absolutely read it. We all make mistakes... Tell you what, I do have some leeway in what I get to write for this thing. I'll go tone down Harley's character a bit. I don't like retcons, but you know what, you're right. That is just a bit too silly and I did write it while sleepy. I'll even throw in some more bits where Cadence ponders her identity (remember, she IS being influenced by false memories right now.). There is some stuff being planned for later which will delve into that theme more BTW.
Edit: Hokay, removed her being trans to immitate her mom. Made oil changes a joke. You know what? I think it's better now. Thank you! (That said, dont' expect me to change anything else. I only did this because I do agree that was a little bit over the top even for me.)
9028224
You honestly didn't have to do that, but I appreciate the thought. I've had to retcon myself, and I always hate it. If you do explore that theme in the future, I look forward to it, and if not, well no worries. Like I said, I enjoyed the story for what it was until I got to Harley, and if I hadn't deluded myself that bit wouldn't have bothered me.
9028247 I did. You made me think. I have only reconnected twice. (that I can remember). This was over the top and out of theme. THis is a silly action story, not silly clop.
BTW, if you like more serious stories, and also my writing, might I recommend my other current project?
- MLP: FiM
- MLP: Comic
- Adventure
- Sci-Fi
When Dash's friends are abducted by aliens, she vows to go to the ends of the universe to get them back. Lucky for her, a new friend got her a ride..."sergeant"
"the"
"in"
This should be a hyphen, not an em dash.
Capitalize "His".
What?
"as"
A whole changeling of 8 bodies could turn into shaped charges and probably utterly liquefy an alicorn in this setting.
I think it is just grabbing the handlebars and turning the throttle.
What stopped the other changeling from doing this? He could turn into a printer which is a pretty complicated device.
"I've"
"from"
I personally like the version by The Outlaws.
Sorry this is mainly little typo I saw, but I am reading this late at night in a position that is uncomfortable for typing. Chapter seemed to push the bike into the picture so I am assuming that it will be used to something important. Like flying over an explosion so Carla can swing off the side to round-house kick Chrysalis in the face.
9028271
Most differently. Once you learn more about Changelings and CHrysaliss's current state things will make more sense. Harley didn't know, so you guys couldn't learn it yet. Copy did know, but he's not going to tell anyone something he's been directly told not to talk about.
You need to think of an idea to do it. Additionally, Chrysalis doesn't want to kill everyone. She wants to take over, and prove she had what it took to do the job she was chosen for. She can't do that if Celestia is dead. As such, her motivation leads to a villein who wouldn't want to go around killing people.
I have a bot to help me with editing. It does some dum things sometimes... But it's better than if I just do it manually... heh heh...
So do I, but Cadence's taste sin music would push her to that one.
I'm really enjoying this story so far.
scary
brake
HA
You mean mindwipe them of this incident
... 
SEE, this is what i'm talking about, there is so much mental manipulation going on that i automatically think that's whats gonna happen, i mean i know that's not what they are gonna do now that i have read the chapter but still 
AWSOME
9028381
TO be fair, maybe she was going to do that before Cadence suggested utilizing them for the operation. Celestia isn't evil, she's in fact quite nice, and differently mostly good. But she does obviously do some shady and even dark things in the name of the greater good. As one would expect of someone who has managed to rule a nation for at least 1000 years.
I'm trying to write the setting as more realistic than the cartoon, without breaking it's themes. Mind Control is something we see Celestia happy to use through the M6. (How else do you explain the elements just un-eviling people?) If she's okay using it... she's okay with using it. SHe's got rules, but well, greater good.
9028423
To be fair they have actually only done that once and that was against Nightmare Moon/Luna, the only other times the elements have been used was against Discord and that just sealed him in stone and then unsealed him
9027584
My experience was kinda close to that. My first online experience was with a 2400 baud modem which I then replaced with allowance money to get 14.4k. That and using GEnie.
9027608
I might look into the tablet keyboard. I know that my previous workflow for comments and corrections doesn't work as well on a tablet as it did when I was using my laptop. However, I think once I get around to replacing my laptop with something made in the current decade I'll probably start doing it that way again.
9027864
That might be a solution that solves my current aging computer issues as well as the whole comment/corrections thing on a tablet. I'll look into that.
9028037
That's kinda exactly how nukes are used if you have them and your opponent doesn't (well, strictly speaking you may also mine, dig channels and do some other stuff).
Barring the question why would other nations exist at this point, that's not causally connected to nukes: they as well may do the same thing without nukes (and they don't need to worry about their county turning into glass in case assassin fails or next bug in line decides that "avenging beloved queen" is good for his/her political image)