Insanity
Pewdiepie slowly turned around to the Bro with its hideous grimace drooling all over him.
“Seriously, Bro, you take it too fast. Dinner and a movie first.”
Luna smiled. “I admire your ability to stay calm in the face of danger.”
Something in Pewdiepie’s mind clicked. “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NOT HELPING ME FIGHT THIS?”
Luna shrugged. “I dunno. I want to see how you react in this situation.” Pewdie facehoofed.
“I hate you- AAGH!” The Bro had slashed the poor unicorn across the face. “AH! FUCKEDY FUCK FUCK! FUUUUCK! OH GOD- mmm, dat ass!” The Bro finished mangling Pewdiepony and left. Luna couldn’t help but laugh a bit at this. “Oh sure, so it’s real funny when get mangled by a hideous monster, but when a spider crawls into your sleeping bag...”
Luna glared. “That was a very harrowing, Pewdie. Don’t take spiders lightly. Let me tell you a story about spiders. One nightmare night, Twilight Sparkle...”
Pewdiepony groaned. After listening to the alicorn ramble for nearly an hour, Pewdie was beginning to consider finding the bro again so it could finish him off. Fortunately, the Princess of the Night finished her monologue.
“And that’s why you should never let a pegasus prepare your coffee.” Luna looked at Pewdie expectantly, hoping for some feedback. Pewdiepie blinked a few times, then realized the cue.
“Wait, weren’t you talking about how spiders scared you?”
Luna laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous, spiders are my friends! They do much of their hunting at night.” Pewdie began to softly cry. As he did so, he became enlightened to the fact that his wounds were gone.
“What the hell?” Pewdiepony looked about to see if something could have healed him. Then, it hit him. The claw, I mean.
“AAAH!” Pewdie and Luna ran screaming from the Bro, who had come back to finish them off. Luna levitated Stephano into her saddle bags as they fled down the corridor.
“Augh, I hate corridors, almost as much as -BARRELS!” Pewdie stopped dead as he came face to face with his nemesis. He grabbed the first barrel with his hoof, and flung it down the hall, where it smashed into the Bro’s face. Grabbing another barrel, he levitated Stephano out of Luna’s bags.
“What are you doing Pewdie- OH GOD NO!” Stephano screamed as Pewdiepie beat him repeatedly into the barrel.
The Bro ran back at them, raising his claws, but Pewdiepony stopped him. “Go away, Bro! You’re fat! Go on a diet or something.”
The Bro, whose feelings were hurt considerably, moped off into a corner.
“That’ll teach him to mess with McPewdie!” Pewdiepie smiled, not noticing the fact that Stephano was extremely damaged from the barrel incident. Luna stared at him like he was an idiot.
“Pewdiepie, are you seriously that deraged?”
Pewdiepie looked at the midnight blue mare and grinned crazily. “I’m not deranged! You’re the crazy one! Mishka! Get my pickles to keep the cats away!” Pewdiepie began to lick the floor vigorously.
Luna looked at Stephano. She was beginning to worry. “Stephano, what’s happening to him?”
“It’s a very rare disease one can get from a Bro. It’s called ‘Bullshititus.’”
Luna gave the smashed statuette a pensive look. “That doesn’t sound like a real disease...”
“Of course it’s real! What would give you the impression it wasn’t?”
“Um... I don’t know, maybe the name?”
The statuette scoffed. “Luna, I thought you were better than that... judging something by its name. Would I ever lie to you?”
Luna shrugged “Well, I don’t really know you-”
“LUNA,” Stephano stared deep into Luna’s eyes. “ Would I lie to you?”
The mare sighed. “ I guess not...”
“Well, you're wrong. I lied.”
“WHAT? After you made me go through all that?”
“Well, you sure are gullible, that’s for sure.” Stephano laughed. Luna grew angry with the golden statue.
“Look, is there anything wrong with Pewdie?” Pewdiepie was now attempting to bake muffins in the wall.
“Nah, I’m sure he’s fine. Come on, let’s get going.”
Luna dragged Pewdiepie away from the wall. “NOOOO! My culinary crafts! You shall pay for this, Luna! YOU SHALL- Oh, a
rock!”
The mare, stallion, and statue all delved deeper into the dungeon. However, there were stil two more left in the level upon which the three had just been.
“Why did you let them escape?” Derpy yelled angrily at the Bro.
“He called me fat...” The Bro sobbed.
“That’s because you are fat! Seriously, go on a diet or something...” Derpy closed her eyes and shook her head. “By the Goddess, the idiot I have to-” A small dinging noise caused her to perk up in mid sentence.
“My muffins are done!” The grey pegasus squealed in delight.
Derpy rushed off the the wall where Pewdie had been baking and removed the fresh pastries for seemingly nowhere. “Ah, fresh from the wall.”
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Was that a Mass Effect reference near the end?
1161136 have no idea, I was up until 12 last night writing it, I wasn't even coherent when I posted it.
Ahhhh, nothing hits the spot better than wall muffins.
1163331 Sooooo, yes?
1163636 Yeeaaahhh... no.
I saw A few Spelling Mistakes in this one. Always Check And Read through your chapter before putting it up for all of us to see.
1165126 Sorry, I was up until 12 trying to get this done, my sanity was fading towards the end.
I want to tear my eyes off.
It looks like Bullshititus means becoming Pinkie Pie.
Who else ships Jennifer with Tom?
If you know what I mean...
I've read six chapters. That's juuuust under 4k words.
Then why does it feel longer than half of the Austraeoh saga?
Laughter all around 8D