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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ha
Is there a prequel story to this ? How daybreaker and nightmare moon are helping their counterparts suggest that there is a backstory in which they have reformed but the how has not been discussed.
This is really getting into a fun story. I wonder if the nobles will try to meddle in their affairs, if anything they would try to influence his mother by showing her with gifts, to become like them and get other their noble teens to get their Aero to get along with him to cement their hold on them.
I really liked Aero's mom's response. Really sets the mood that this is a casual, easy going world that likely won't have all the problems that would realistically come with such a scenario. Everyone's just chill and the focus is on having a good time, both for the characters and readers.
Also, neat bit of lore adding the "evil" alter egos. Looking forward to seeing them explained.
However, my inner grammar nazi compels me to inform you that there's a bit of a problem with punctuation. Simply put, you're missing a lot of commas. Like here
There should be a comma after Sighing. Read the sentence out loud and listen for pauses. Those are good indicators of punctuation. Also, when doing a 'he said' thing, most of the time you'll want to close out the sentence before with a comma, then closing quotes, then lower cased he said. And while it's not a strict rule, it just looks better if you avoid closing a line with a comma before opening a quotation. Better to end said line with a period instead.
in her voice. "I only
8646817
thx, punctuation is something ive been working on. :)
8646406
the how will come later :)
8646777
sounds like a fun idea tbh
8646817
were these the only examples u found? is there any others i can fix?
Huh, interesting take on the AU of the serie.
when is the next chapter
8656373
This week is my prep week so to say. I mentioned in my last chapter that On jan 11 I'm leaving for iowa for training with the army national guard. I'll be working on chapters on my downtime, but I will not have access to internet until I come back. Which means the new chapters won't be up until anywhere between Jan 29th and Feb 2nd.
8656447
Alright
Honestly, I love the idea of a prank war. Keep it going.
8658417
then u will love whats in store for later. :D
that was a really fun chap
I think he died of something
8715733
who?
8718872
i think he was talking about you as you havent made a single new chapter in ages
So... When's the next chapter? It's way past Feb 2nd.
Where are you, OP?
8790957
Sorry family is going through a big divorce and a lot of stuff is happening. I won't be posting for a while. Sorry
8767114
8715733
Just so u guys know, my family is going through a lot of stuff right now. So this story is in hiatus.
8820616
We'll wait. I know I'm putting this in my favourites and bookmarking it
I'm really looking forward to seeing more, but there's no rush.
To most, this would be the most bizarre thing to witness in the throne room.
To Nightmare Moon....it's a Tuesday.
10901572
A rather eventful tuesday, but a tuesday nonetheless.