I realize some of you never thought of this... So I did! I have a thing for royalty characters, which if some of you are old fans of my work, you would know this. Positive comments please and if you have to put your constructive criticism in, that is actually even more appreciated. But really, no bull crap people, please!
I would like to thank Bono for letting me use his name... NO not the musician, he's a good friend of mine who happens to have very practical parents.
931872 Fixed it and as for the stuttering, I wanted to get the right mood for the reader, it doesn't sound like the princess but it was supposed to be awkward. Plus, IDC who you are, if your facing a pony with a dick for a cutie mark, I think your gonna stutter. i mean think about it, be realistic. not trying to sound mean. 931937 Lol, yea I noticed that.
The text seems to be very "he did this, she did that" and very sectioned in the way that it seems to first explain all of the premise, then all of the room, then all of the clop and dialog last, try to mix it up for an easier read and a more skilled look of the fic.
This comes from a person who has read ALOT of clop and I know a good clopfic if I do say so myself
932748 hmm... i like the idea, but my shipping couples is this. applesparkle/ dashpie/ flarity... sorry, and i already made another story about my shipping pairing, soooo... yea.
932811 i know, but im like most ppl. if you look up "rainbow dash shipping" on any immage search, you will see here with pinkie pie alot. if you look up "twilight sparkle shipping" you will see here paired up with applejack more. plus, i liked my pairings when i first got into mlp. i also like rainbowapples, but not as much as applesparke!... if im confusing you, stop me.
I have some kind of respect for Celestia and Luna. So after reading this, they probably gonna hate me... mercy princesses... I don't know why I like this story!
I realize some of you never thought of this... So I did! I have a thing for royalty characters, which if some of you are old fans of my work, you would know this. Positive comments please and if you have to put your constructive criticism in, that is actually even more appreciated. But really, no bull crap people, please!
I would like to thank Bono for letting me use his name... NO not the musician, he's a good friend of mine who happens to have very practical parents.
that last line, *buh dum, pish!* loved it, it was quite... pleasing.
931712 Thanks. Lol.
certanly was a, uh, intresting] read. first clopfic read actually
931794 No comment on that.931805 Glad you liked it.
(Relieve) I think you might have meant this word instead of (Relief) . Good start, obviously
complications ahead. Looking forward to the climax.
May I say something?
Ahem... This needs some serious work. The excessive stuttering, while cute, does not make for a good fic based on a character that never stutters...
And you need to work on your description... the scenes would feel... more... if you added some.
931837
He liked it some much that he, Doubled the comment!
Edit after reading: Great story, can not wait for the "More to Cum" part.
931872 Fixed it and as for the stuttering, I wanted to get the right mood for the reader, it doesn't sound like the princess but it was supposed to be awkward. Plus, IDC who you are, if your facing a pony with a dick for a cutie mark, I think your gonna stutter. i mean think about it, be realistic. not trying to sound mean.
931937 Lol, yea I noticed that.
931872 your right! thank you very much. these things sneak by my eyes sometimes.
931937 lol, yea i noticed that.
The text seems to be very "he did this, she did that" and very sectioned in the way that it seems to first explain all of the premise, then all of the room, then all of the clop and dialog last, try to mix it up for an easier read and a more skilled look of the fic.
This comes from a person who has read ALOT of clop and I know a good clopfic if I do say so myself
932354 Hmm... I'll take that into consideration. Thank you but I'm working on another clopfic that's more of a successor to this one.
am i posting bull crapz? i like your work...
932605 thnx, and your not the only one who was posting bullz crapz. ill delite all bullz crapz comments in 15 minz.
932712, hey, you should make a twidash fanfiction, it would be AWESOME!!!!!!!
932748 hmm... i like the idea, but my shipping couples is this. applesparkle/ dashpie/ flarity... sorry, and i already made another story about my shipping pairing, soooo... yea.
932795 awwwwwww but this pair is my favorite by far FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
932811 i know, but im like most ppl. if you look up "rainbow dash shipping" on any immage search, you will see here with pinkie pie alot. if you look up "twilight sparkle shipping" you will see here paired up with applejack more. plus, i liked my pairings when i first got into mlp. i also like rainbowapples, but not as much as applesparke!... if im confusing you, stop me.
932827
Twilestia is best!
AWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHH
935018 here's your theme song! 935021 yah like that???
Quite amusing
I found the plot quite interesting
Also, didn't know the Princess used so much slang.........
936125 Your the first to notice that. You sometimes see sides of characters you don't see in the show on my stories! did ya get that???
NO... NO GOD DAMN IT! NO BONO PICS PLEASE THIS IS NOT HIS STORY! ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
it was rather sweet .. although How did he know he was good in bed if he only had two mares?
other than that good work
hehe.. sly inside joke too... Sunny (Celestia) and Bono..
I have some kind of respect for Celestia and Luna. So after reading this, they probably gonna hate me... mercy princesses... I don't know why I like this story!
932811 is wrong and sick