Serious comments please. This chapter took a little help from my friend, Bono. Not the pony, the actual friend who let me use his name. I needed help with the word play but he was the one who told me You need to let Luna have him. It's just not fair to let Celestia have him all to herself. So I did. This is technically considered incest, but very light incest. I intend on changing the description to show this. Thank you for positive feedback. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.
Actually pretty good. Going into the humorous side and getting Celestia into the Molestia state of mind if she brought in other mares (Not normal or average mares but more of the ones that would do anything to keep getting a good screw [Trixie would seem to be one of em in my opinion]). Somewhere down the line he could just end up being the benefactor to several families or herdmates based on which stories you use as a factual.
942001 Thanks for the feedback. Unfortunately, this story only has 2-3 chapters left. The only main characters of the story is Bono, PC, PL, and others But no pony from outside of Canterlot.
942049>>941838>>941396>>940322>>938558>>937856>>937445>>936125>>935018>>932811>>932354>>931937>>931880>>931872>>931805 In the honor of including Luna in a few chapters, I posted a new cover art in her glory! Why did I do this? Because the art is, like, 20% more awesome! opinions and feedback please!
947288>>945540>>943217>>942670>>942539>>940322>>937856>>937445>>932354>>931937>>931880>>931872>>931805 i made a new blog titled "ASK ME ANYTHING"! feel free to visit!
Luna, chuckling, said “oh, come now sister. I would never have guest you would have slaves!” guessed He lied down on the bed and fell asleep next to Luna. lay These are the only mistakes i found. Other than those two his his aweome so far.
Serious comments please. This chapter took a little help from my friend, Bono. Not the pony, the actual friend who let me use his name. I needed help with the word play but he was the one who told me You need to let Luna have him. It's just not fair to let Celestia have him all to herself. So I did. This is technically considered incest, but very light incest. I intend on changing the description to show this. Thank you for positive feedback. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.
I like the style that you write in, and you use just the right amount of detail to make it look polished.
941838 thank you very much. i worked rather hard on this one to get it just right. not perfect... but not normal either.
Actually pretty good. Going into the humorous side and getting Celestia into the Molestia state of mind if she brought in other mares (Not normal or average mares but more of the ones that would do anything to keep getting a good screw [Trixie would seem to be one of em in my opinion]). Somewhere down the line he could just end up being the benefactor to several families or herdmates based on which stories you use as a factual.
942001 Thanks for the feedback. Unfortunately, this story only has 2-3 chapters left. The only main characters of the story is Bono, PC, PL, and others But no pony from outside of Canterlot.
942022 Thats okay. I was kinda thinking of a hentai I watched once awhile back that had quite a bit of similarities to this.
942049 what hentai was that> WAIT... no, were getting into the bull crap comments. please keep things serious.
942049>>941838>>941396>>940322>>938558>>937856>>937445>>936125>>935018>>932811>>932354>>931937>>931880>>931872>>931805 In the honor of including Luna in a few chapters, I posted a new cover art in her glory! Why did I do this? Because the art is, like, 20% more awesome! opinions and feedback please!
Wow really nice pic.
HOLY SHIT>>942517
942670 yea... its sexy, i know
Oh yea, Luna gets a turn
Yes aww He didnt cum
943217 proves how durable he is... im tryin to make it clear to ppl just what exactly his talent/s is.
This was a pretty fabulous chapter it may not be my usual type of story but a good story is a good story no matter so again fabulous
945575 im so happy you liked it! hold on! my friend, RD wants a kiss...
OVER 1000 VIEWS!
i672.photobucket.com/albums/vv87/richardawesome/Ponies/100767-artistmegasweetcelestiai_cameMolestia.png
Seems like a really good story,
although I am spotting a few spelling errors, and I feel like this story is moving along at an extremely brisk pace.
Eh, the pace of this story probably is nothing compared to the rate Bono fucked Luna......
947137 lol you have no idea!
947218
let me guess...
as fast as the M61 Vulcan fires (22,000 RPM)?
947247 my image of his speed would put the guenis world record for most humps in one hour to shames! get the picture?
947259 story isnt done yet!
947264
yeah, kinda
also, M61 Vulcan was only 6,600 RPM, not 22 thousand, accidentally put in an extra zero, and mixed it up with the GAU-19
947288 cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/20029618.jpg
947288>>945540>>943217>>942670>>942539>>940322>>937856>>937445>>932354>>931937>>931880>>931872>>931805 i made a new blog titled "ASK ME ANYTHING"! feel free to visit!
NEW ART WORK AGAIN! omgomgomgomgomg! its so AWESOME! i out did myself with the cover art this time! thoughts; comments?
Can't be serious, ain't slept in whole day kk? Luna has been dominated.
952474 lol, makes it more dramatic! wanna see what she looked like after words to give you a nice imagery?
img.ponibooru.org/_images/28b85733ca56d3cfbabd6d8a120607fc/105564%20-%20Alicorn%20artist%3Ajoakaha%20blush%20luna%20portrait%20princess.jpg
952521 Yes, yes, I shalt come back here, when I need a good lookin' picture of Luna.
952543
Stupid boner! STOP IT!
I like it anyways... :P
Luna, chuckling, said “oh, come now sister. I would never have guest you would have slaves!”
guessed
He lied down on the bed and fell asleep next to Luna.
lay
These are the only mistakes i found. Other than those two his his aweome so far.
Okay... good sex, good description, minor errors in spelling and grammar that kinda caught my attention.
lifted maybe? Next,
Forget the capitalization? Third,
several, mayhaps? Overall, it is really good, but the spelling errors just keep popping into my mind... sorry.