• Published 12th Sep 2017
  • 692 Views, 60 Comments


DIO learns the magic of friendship, while inadvertently committing a comical genocide.

  • ...

Why Does Applejack Take Care of Animals???

After what seemed like an eternity, the sky finally faded to glistening starlight (as in light from stars, not the new protagonist with the element of toy-marketing, then again, isn't that all the EQG movies? I digress), the moon overhead as the nighttime atmosphere engulfed the world in it's soothing blackness. Most ponies would have been asleep by now, but six equines were not. Their names: Pinkamena "Pinkie" Diane Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and of course, Twilight and Fluttershy. The two escorted DIO out of the cottage, taking a stone path to a place called "Carousel Boutique". Twilight figured she'd get the worst out of the way, except for the fact that Rainbow Dash lived much further from them.

"Here, Carousel Botique," Twilight said with a sigh. Fluttershy said nothing, smiling as she stood closely beside DIO, who raised an eyebrow.

"A shop?" He muttered, "Why would I be interested in a shop?"

"This is where Rarity lives," Twilight explained with a smile.

"She must be homeless," DIO mused. Twilight shook her head.

"No no no, this is her home!" Twilight said.

"She lives. . ." DIO replied slowly, ". . .in a clothing store. . ."

"Yeah!" Twilight said. "What's weird about that?" DIO shook his head.

"Nothing, just lead me inside," DIO said, diverting his thought process on more important things than wondering why a talking horse would live in an over-sized wardrobe.

As they walked in, a little bell rang. DIO hissed a quiet 'wryyy. . .' from the surprise, before continuing forward. The shop was clean, and quite simply nothing more than a collection of both cheap and expensive hand. . .hoof-made clothing. DIO diverted the thought of how a hoof was able to hold things at all, considering—you know what I'm going to abandon that thought as well.

"I'll be down in a minute!" a very Rarity-sounding voice said, so Rarity-sounding that one could assume it was Rarity.

Because it was.

Don't question my narration.

Rarity walked down the stairs in a very eloquent dress, decorated as if she were attending a royal dinner. She gazed upon DIO, who seemed tall and muscly and handsome and. . .wait what are those things on his arms? It didn't matter, he was quite fashionable, wearing the hearts and the golden bracelets, she was simply astounded by him!

"DIO! I've been waiting to meet you!" Rarity said in a very adoring tone. She did a curtsy, or whatever a horse would do in such a situation on four legs, and smiled, trying to hide her excessive glee.

"Lord DIO," DIO corrected with a frown, unimpressed by the mare's oddity, "It is nighttime, apart from my visitation, shouldn't you be wearing something along the lines of comfortable bedwear? Or. . ." —He looked at Fluttershy and Twilight—"Nothing. . ?"

"Oh, Darling," Rarity replied with a chuckle, "I would never wear such common things around someone so, fashionable as you~."

"So what are you wearing now?" DIO asked with a frown. Rarity was taken aback.

"Well!" she replied with a slightly defensive tone. "This is one of my best works! Hoof-made and decorated to the best of my ability."

"It looks like it was made by an elementary-school child rushing for arts and crafts on the final day of a major project," he said, frowning. Rarity just stood, frozen with an empty smile on her face and wide eyes. "Anyway, we should be on our way, we have more equines to meet." He walked out, Rarity still standing.

"O-oh. . .Alright. . !" she said, an eye twitching as Fluttershy walked out. Twilight hesitantly followed, closing the door behind them.

"So I should be kind rather than be honest? That doesn't sound so friendly to me," DIO said, Twilight fussing at him for being 'mean'.

"No, I'm just saying that there's a nicer way to approach someone who you think can do better with their ability!" Twilight said. DIO chuckled.

"I am sorry, I must have deceived you," DIO replied, before frowning again, "I wasn't sure if she was capable of imagining better."

"DIO, I swear to Celestia, if you—"

"Howdy partner!" Applejack said to DIO, extending a hoof up to him. DIO stared down.

"What. . .who are you?" DIO said.

"Mah name's Applejack!" she said, being typed out in the most stereotypical way, as is common practice among us lifeless pony fanfic writers. Just kidding, you probably have more of a life than I do. DIO frowned.

"I'm here to meet the Element-bearer of Honesty, I believe it was." DIO said. Twilight exhaled loudly, hanging her head, Fluttershy just mindlessly clung to DIO.

"You're talkin' to her! Applejack, Element 'a' Honesty!" she stood proudly.

"Where do you live, in an apple shop?" DIO asked bluntly, Twilight nudged him with an angry look.

"Actually, ah live in a barn!"

"A barn."

"Yep! A barn!"

"You take care of animals in a barn."


"Four-legged animals."


"You are a four-legged animal."


DIO just shook his head. "Whatever, I feel like I'm wasting my time. Purple, who are the last two?"

"It's Twilight, and the last two are Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie," Twilight replied. Applejack just stood, obliviously smiling.

"Muda muda muda muda!" DIO said impatiently. "Where is this Rainbow Dash, point me in a direction!" Twilight did so. The World appeared, grabbing Twilight as DIO personally picked up Fluttershy, suddenly flying in the night sky towards the direction. Applejack stared at the Stand.

"That's pretty heckin' cool," she said. She shrugged, turning around, "Welp, time to feed the horses!" She trotted off.

I'm not going to ask questions.

DIO approached a cloud, landing on it and placing the two down on it, taking a bizarre guess that they could stand on it. Twilight quickly cast a spell, allowing her to stand on the cloud. DIO hit the door.

"Ugh, what the fuck do you want I told you I'm a vir—" Rainbow Dash looked up at the towering DIO, suddenly stopping. "Ho. . .ly. . .shit. . ."

"Rainbow! Watch your language!" Twilight said. Swearing on her Christian server? She didn't think so!

"Oh for fuck's sake Twilight, this isn't TV-Y or something," Rainbow said, looking back at DIO. "So, big dude, heard your name was 'Lord DIO', come in, come in." She opened the door. Already, DIO was actually rather fond of her carefree attitude.

"And your name was. . ." DIO looked at her mane, ". . .Rainbow Dash?"

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash nodded, padding up some furniture as she lowered the volume on her television. A titlecard had appeared, 'Roho's Crazy Quest: Stardust Ponies'.

"That's a bizarre title for a television show," DIO said. Rainbow laughed.

"It features a Rotaro Kuho, on a quest to defeat an evil stallion by the name of Trio," Rainbow explained, "probably the most entertaining show I've ever watched." DIO thought for a moment.

"Explain it futher," DIO said.

"Well," Rainbow Dash continued, "Roho receives this thing called a Pose, a psycho power that allows him to do bizarre things! But Trio has this as well, and so they have to fight to the death!"

"Sounds inconceivable," DIO replied, his frown fading into a straight face, "I doubt such a thing could happen in real life, but I suppose that's the point of fiction."

"Yeah, but it's an entertaining show nonetheless," Rainbow concluded, she reached into her refrigerator, "want a strong apple cider?" She asked. Twilight's jaw dropped.

"Rainbow Dash!" She shouted. DIO lifted a finger.

"Oi, let her serve her guests as she pleases," he said, taking a drink gladly and sipping it. It was actually very nice.

"So, DIO," Rainbow said, taking a seat in a recliner chair, taking a sip of of cider. "Tell me a little more about yourself."

DIO smiled.

M E N A C I N G L Y .

Author's Note:

So because of the excessively good feedback, I was motivated to write another chapter. I'm sure you all know why I'm saving Pinkie her own chapter.

And I'm not proofreading these, just comment if you see a mistake it'll be k.