• Published 12th Sep 2017
  • 692 Views, 60 Comments


DIO learns the magic of friendship, while inadvertently committing a comical genocide.

  • ...

I Like My Tea Hot

"Mister DIO, I understand you want to defeat the Joestar bloodline, and conquer the world, and find heaven by a very specific process, and that your father abused you as a child, and that your mother was very nice to you, and that Jonathan seems to always get stronger, and that you killed an old man with a knife, and that you gave away your humanity, and that you're the Lord of the world," the yellow pony, who had introduced herself as Fluttershy said, a bit tired out, "but you still haven't told me whether you want your tea hot or cold!"

"Hoh?" DIO raised an eyebrow. "That's Lord DIO to you, and I prefer my tea to be hot."

Fluttershy smiled, having finally reached a conclusion after thirty minutes of ranting about whatever was from his world. She wasn't sure what to make of this fascinating creature, but he was fascinating nonetheless.

"So, do you have any friends?" Fluttershy asked, pouring him some hot tea. He took it, bringing it to his mouth. "Oh wait wait wait! That's hot!"

"Hmph." DIO said, chugging the tea without flinching. Fluttershy lowered her ears with a gentle blush.

"O-oh okay," she said quietly, looking down.

"No." DIO replied. Fluttershy looked up, a bit confused. "I have no 'friends'. I, DIO, do not need friends to rule my world."

"Well, you might need some to get back to it," she proposed, ignoring his world-domination mindset just thinking he was a little crazy. She didn't mind him being a little crazy. She was startled as her cup suddenly shattered.

"You dare correct me, DIO?" He shouted, standing up MENACINGLY. Fluttershy cowered at the sight. 'Does she see it?' He thought.

"I-I just wanted to be your friend!" she said, still hiding her face. DIO thought for a moment.

'I suppose not, but what is this? Some kind of trick? Fine. I shall accept this until she is no longer of use to me. Perhaps I can understand this world better before I attempt to surmount it.'

"Fine. We shall be 'friends'," DIO said. "but I require blood to feed on. Perhaps blood of your caliber will work."

"W-well," Fluttershy said, certainly expecting that as he was a vampire, "I'm sure Twilight could help you and whoever with some healing magic. . ." DIO raised an eyebrow.

"Magic?" He was very interested. 'Could magic increase my Stand power? Could I find another way to reach Over Heaven? I must continue to develop this friendship. This equine's knowledge could prove useful to me. Surely, I shall not succumb to such a mortal level of relationship and care.'

Fluttershy nodded gently. "Mhm. . .Only unicorns are able to practice magic, but you can talk to her about it if you're interested, but I should probably have her come here since you shouldn't be outside in the daytime."

"That would be in my best interest," DIO seconded, sitting down in mid air with his legs crossed. Fluttershy looked up, tilting her head.

"You can fly? I didn't think vampires could fly without wings," she mused. DIO looked at her with a frown.

"Hm? You don't see it, do you?" He smiled, an ominous feeling crossing over Fluttershy as she realized the cup didn't exactly shatter for no reason.

"Wh-what are you talking about. . ?" she asked, not sure what she had gotten himself into.

"This is The World," DIO continued, a knife appearing from nowhere and floating upwards, "you can neither see, nor feel him." As he said this, a loud thud was heard as the same knife had flown past her, suddenly hitting a wall. She turned around to see that the wall was not what was hit, but that the knife was thrown at such force that it created a loud sound when he was able to catch it from the other side of the room. She quickly looked back, not having remembered him walking over there. It was like he teleported, and it definitely wasn't magic.

"What. . ?" Fluttershy said quietly. She wasn't sure what she had just observed, and she was quite terrified.

"Go find your friend. I'd like to understand this 'magic' you speak of," he ordered, sitting down again. Fluttershy nodded quickly, not even taking the time to put up her dishes as she ran outwards, taking flight to find Twilight as soon as possible.

Fluttershy quietly knocked on Twilight's door as she landed, trying not to be rude while she was in a hurry. Fluttershy was greeted by a familiar dragon named Spike.

"Oh, hi Fluttershy, how ar—" Spike said before suddenly being pushed out of the way by an anxious Fluttershy.

"Twilight there's a two-legged thing in my house!" she said, panicking. Twilight suddenly appeared in front of her with a poof of magic as she grabbed Fluttershy.

"You have a what in your house?!" Twilight said with wide eyes. Fluttershy let out a squeak as Twilight pressed her forehead against Fluttershy's staring into her very soul in scientific curiosity. "Tell me more!"

DIO looked around, getting bored of waiting. He figured he could take a look at some of the animals, perhaps they spoke as well. He walked into the next room, revealing several animals. Far too many for comfort. As he took the first step, every single animal stopped and stared at him in a dead silence.

"I suppose none of you speak," he muttered, "you're acting like mindless animals." All of them frowned, the bear crossing it's forelegs and looking away with a huff. Other animals shook their heads and continued doing what they were doing. It was as if they could interpret the language he spoke, but weren't capable of speaking it. In fact, he was speaking in English, and a bit of Japanese he had learned due to speaking to several opponents and allies from several locations across the globe. How did they understand everything so well? He shook his head, turning back and sitting in the air again.

"Might as well just wait. There's absolutely nothing to do here," he said with a frown.

A few minutes later, Twilight and Fluttershy walked into the cottage to a group of animals surrounding a motionless DIO. Twilight was taken aback as Fluttershy ran to see what was wrong.

"Mister—Uh—Lord DIO, are you alright?" she said, worried about what might have happened while they were gone.

"Lord?" Twilight repeated to herself. DIO opened one eye suddenly.

"How dare you interrupt my sleep?" All of the animals were suddenly pushed back by something as he stood beside Fluttershy, looking at Twilight. "This must be that other one you were speaking about. You, purple one, she says that you possess 'magical healing'. I wish for you to demonstrate it."

"Well," Twilight started, "you can show me whatever injury you have and I—Fluttershy!"

DIO had suddenly pricked Fluttershy's neck with two fingers, draining her blood. "On her. Not on me." He corrected as he pulled his hand out. Twilight panicked, lighting her horn and healing Fluttershy immediately, who was dazed and confused at what just happened. Twilight looked up.

"What was that?!" she demanded with anger. DIO looked down with a frown.

"You healed her did you not?" He said, "Then she is fine."

"Fluttershy, come to me!" Twilight said, "I'll blast him with my magic and we can get the rest to ban him, he's evil I can see it!" Fluttershy attempted to run, but suddenly appeared back in place beside DIO. She tried again, failing once more. Twilight snarled.

"Hoh?" DIO looked down with a smirk. "You would like to pick a fight with me, DIO?"

"DIO. . .huh. . ." Twilight said, charging her horn. "Take this, DIO!" With that, a sudden blast of magic energy came precisely towards DIO. It was easily deflected. Twilight stood back.

"Muda Muda Muda!" he shouted with glee. "You remind me of Kakyoin."

"What are you? You're not using magic, you're using something different, something more powerful!" Twilight said. DIO grinned.

"I suppose I can tell you, since you are powerless before The World," he replied, "it is called Stand Power. A physical manifestation of your psychological energy. You cannot see it, because you do not have such power! Hah!"

"I can cast a spell that allows me to see it. . ." Twilight said, "If it's just psychological energy, then I can use a spell to make it visible to anyone."

DIO smiled. "Do as you wish."

Twilight lit up her horn, casting the spell before standing back as she saw The World looming with intimidating size over DIO and Fluttershy. Fluttershy turned, looking up at it and jumping away. DIO stooped down, petting her mane gently.

"I'm sure we can meet on unanimous opinion over who we value," DIO said, continuing to pet Fluttershy, who was visibly soothed. "Fluttershy here is a friend of mine, I wish not to harm her. That is why I required your magic, because I knew her blood would keep me satisfied long enough that I wouldn't have to hurt so many people." He looked at her with a menacing glare. "Just in case you're doubting. . .Had I wanted to kill her, you would have both been dead long ago."

'Who is this guy?' Twilight thought to herself, regaining her posture and standing straight. 'I'll have to tell Celestia about this, but not now. Didn't Fluttershy say he was a vampire?'

"What if I cast a spell of solar energy? You couldn't block that, could you?" Twilight asked, giving a side glare. DIO smiled.

"You're limited by the constraints of time," DIO replied, "I, DIO, am not limited by such things. I control time here as I did in the last world." He gently picked Fluttershy up like a puppy, continuing to pet her as she was now nearly asleep.

Twilight knew DIO was evil, but she wasn't willing to take the chances of trying to fight him. He was able to calm even Fluttershy, who is typically the most timid of them all. There's no way he was just that comforting, but, come to think of it, he was rather charmi—

Twilight suddenly shook her head. It was like some sort of spell he had, this charming appearance, the ability to persuade anyone to join him. He was pure evil.

"What do you plan to do to Fluttershy?" she demanded. DIO smiled.

"I wish to be her friend, nothing more, nothing less," DIO replied, "she gives me what I need, you give her what she needs, and perhaps, I can give you something in return if you allow me a way to exit this world to get back to my own." Twilight thought for a moment. She felt like she was making a deal with the devil.

"Fine," she said, "but if you hurt Fluttershy, you will pay for it."

"Hm hm," DIO replied, "I wouldn't do such a thing. So long as you're there to make sure she is healed, you're being a good friend, are you not?" He grinned. It was as if Twilight had played into his hands. What the hell are hands anyway?

"We must wait until nighttime," DIO said, looking outside, "I'd like to meet the rest of your 'friends'. I'd also like to see who is in charge here."

Twilight glared at him.

"Sure. I'm sure they'll be happy to meet you," she said, smiling dimly. DIO took a breath, closing his eyes gently.


Author's Note:

We're going to pretend that whole alicorn thing didn't happen.
Equestria girls? Let's forget that's a thing too.
This is going to be a fresh mix of comedy and serious DIO stuff. I'll just write what I feel like. It's technicolor horses and JJBA, how much crazier can it get?
Oh, and by the way.
Killer Queen has already touched the FanFiction.
Oh, and give me ideas on what happens next! I have a plan, but, ideas are fun.