While this is hilarious and all, I need to point something out:
When characters address one another in dialogue, writing conventions almost always put a comma before the name to avoid confusion. For example, there's a difference between
I feel making a ball bra (which should probably be called a jockstrap) jiggle would take a lot of work, considering the angling of the body and tail. Still got a butt ton of typos in desperate need of a reread.
"Oh yeah? Well I'll hit you so hard all your male ancestors will feel it, and by the time my fist gets to your momma, all it'll do is write down where she can find me so I can take her out for a nice lobster dinner, and then I'll NEVER call her again."
Epic burn! Because nothing says fun, romantic comedies quite like the mental cesspools born in college gender studies courses.
Well, not one of the mainstream romance novels with shy petite colts and strong experienced a ttttdrrt the 4 or red ymares. Rather ones from your collection. Of an Equesferf Dr Dr Dr rfrfrfrrytyzrtrrftria with the oppositdet4rfrf free r fre gender rfrfoles. Of hunky alien visitors. Of Amazonian islands where stallions are thrice the normal size. Of scarred stallion knights in shining armour...
Your freakishly enormous teats, even larger than Celestias on your much smaller body, wobbling as he holds you. He must think you're an abomination. Pagasi aren't supposed to have such ridiculously enormous... You can barely even fly because of them.
Now I'm imagining Fluttershy with these barely visible mammaries that are only slight swells that hardly even show up in profile, and that really does make her bigger than every other pegasus.
"I'll have forty pancakes drenched in syrup."
Your head slowly turns, then tilts so you can look far up to him. Your lower lip trembles as your eyes start to sparkle.
🎵 "What is this feeling that swells in my heart?"
Pffft-bah-hahahahaha
Awesome story that's great fun to read. Favorited and waiting for more.
While this is hilarious and all, I need to point something out:
When characters address one another in dialogue, writing conventions almost always put a comma before the name to avoid confusion. For example, there's a difference between
and
8388926
Beat me to it! Nice example, though.
8388572
Thanks, hopefully more will come fairly soon as I go over and edit it.
Oooh I'm so sad this isn't a longer story, I'd love to read a longer story of just this. xD
Good show!
This whole role reversal is pretty funny.
This one confused me. I know there's an explanation on the story's page but kinda lost me on how things work around here. Still, great chapter!
I feel making a ball bra (which should probably be called a jockstrap) jiggle would take a lot of work, considering the angling of the body and tail.
Still got a butt ton of typos in desperate need of a reread.
Epic burn!
Because nothing says fun, romantic comedies quite like the mental cesspools born in college gender studies courses.
Not sure what I was expecting.. but I liked it!
Now I'm imagining Fluttershy with these barely visible mammaries that are only slight swells that hardly even show up in profile, and that really does make her bigger than every other pegasus.
Oh god this story is amazing.