The Pony-Filled Life of Alexis Creek

by NightmareMoon

Yup, Definitely Going Crazy.

Chapter Eight - Now with Crazy Commentary from Pinkie and Lyra, your favorite obsessors!

Okay, that wasn't really much of a shocker to me. I mean, I kind of could already figure it out. Context clues and all that. (Oh, come on. Just because I'm not in school now doesn't mean I was a second grade dropout.) And besides, this whole thing is just so cliche! Wow. I can't believe I just admitted that. I mean, what if I was in a fimfiction story? So, then, I'm all made up? Ahhh!

Sorry, straying farther and father from the actual topic. (But then again, if this is my story, can't I talk about whatever I want?) Shut up, brain. I'm going to pass out again if I keep on going like this! (Oh, but come on! This is so much fun! Besides, like I said before, this is my story, so I can do whatever I want, can't I?)

Getting crazier and crazier by the day. Agh. So, anyways, back to whatever useless comment I was saying before. I wasn't really so shocked. I mean, the truth was always there, in the back of my brain, nagging me, showing me the reality and what is actually happening. Keeping my sanity. I didn't want to give in, so I didn't admit it. (Well, you're admitting it now!) That's different, crazy part of my brain. (You know, stop calling me crazy. I mean, at least give me a name! Well, I do have a name, but I don't want to reveal it!) Is that you, Pinkie? (Back to the story!)

I try to find the right words, but they don't come. After a moment of silence, I finally just say, "I know."

Celestia raises her eyebrow. "You know?"

"Well, yes. I mean, I kind of did." What I said. "All those clues you gave? I mean, please! I'm not a little school-filly! Well, considering I still am in school, I guess I am. Or am I? I mean, I'm not a filly, I'm a human. Actually, I'm not a human, that's Alexis. I'm Pinkie. Hi! What's up? I like to throw parties! Ooh, is that a cupcake?" What Pinkie wanted to say but I shut my mouth in time for her to cease from saying it. (Hey, you know, I think that I'm saying more reasonable things than you are! I mean, really! Look, a cupcake!)

I snort. Really, Pinkie? What would you know about reasonable? Wait, a minute! I'm talking to Pinkie! Pinkie, how am I talking to you? Do you have some weird telepathic connection to me? Or is that just me, talking to myself? Or can you just break the fourth wall?

(I stole the TARDIS from that weird pony, that Doctor guy, and traveled to the future, where people are telepathic! Then, while you were sleeping, I did brain surgery on you and implanted a tiny chip in your brain - tiny, no scarring, they said! It was soooooo worth it! - and ka-zam! Here we are, using the Telepathic Brain Chip 200,000 years before it was invented!)

What?!

(Nothing!)

Oh, whatever. I'll just accept that it's Pinkie being Pinkie. Anyways, here I was, with a little voice at the back of my head, screaming for cupcakes and candy and glitter and all that girly junk.

(Hey! It's not junk!)

Oh, yeah, and she's sharing my brain. Why!?

(Hey, it's not so bad! Here, have a cupcake!)

Pinkie, how would you give a cupcake to me? We're not even in the same room!

(By eating it myself, silly! Then the brain waves transfer from my taste buds to that tiny chip that's in my brain, too, and send electromagnetic signals to your brain, too, which go to the part of your brain that control tastes! Or, at least, something like that. I'm not into that science junk that Twilight always is ranting about!)

Wow, Pinkie... mmm! By the way, how do you know all this?

(Ummm... back to the subject!)

"But, how?" Celestia inquired, not knowing about Pinkie being in my head 24/7. "I mean, I'm practically the wisest pony in Equestria, and... I didn't figure it out!"

Wow, these ponies are dense.

(Excuse me!?)

Except for you, Pinkie, except for you.

"Ummm..." I scanned my brain, thinking of an answer that wouldn't offend the Princess. I mean, I don't want to be sent to the moon! "Well, uh... I have a very... imaginative brain, and uh... I... think of lots of possibilities?"

"Oh!" Celestia nodded, taking in the half-lie. "You're still a filly, aren't you? You must have a wild imagination!"

"Well," I thought of it. "In human terms, I wouldn't be considered an adult. In pony terms, I probably would. I mean, I'm fourteen."

"And you still go to school?" Celestia asked, bewildered.

"Well, yeah. We don't really have magic or anything like you do, so we can't just magic-up everything."

"I never thought of it that way," Celestia pondered. "Life must be hard!"

I thought for a moment. "Well, I guess it is. Depends on which point of view you're using. I mean, you guys... can fly, and use magic, and even Earth Ponies can use Earth magic. But us humans, nah. We can't do anything incredibly special like you guys. But we have technology and hands to make life easier."

((That was beautiful! I wish I had hands! And feet! Actually, I wish I was a human! Humans are so humanly awesome! And besides, they're real! EEEE! Everyone thought I was crazy, but now I was proven right!))

Lyra, is that you!? And why didn't you say 'everypony?' you said 'everyone,' you do realize that, right?

((Yeah! I heard about the chip thing, so I implanted one in my head, too! So, now, me, Pinkie, and you have Telepathy Brain Chat or whatever it's called! Oh, yeah, and I was saying everyone because humans are just sooooo awesome! I want hands! And feet! And I wanna be bipedal! Waaaaa! Oooh, maybe I'll get plastic surgery!))

Lyra, get out of my head! And ponies having plastic surgery to have hands and feet? I'm shuddering already... eww. And you too, Pinkie, get out of my head!

(Aww, but we don't want to, silly-billy-filly-willy-nilly-gilly-shilly-milly....)

I get it! Oh my gosh, wow, I am becoming crazy! I apologize to whoever is reading this! Wait a minute, if I acknowledge that I am in a story, does that mean I can break the fourth wall?

That's when I hear glass break...

Comments

[NightmareMoon]

Yup, the random tag definitely fits.

[themanesix]

not the fourth wall

[ultrasolarflare]

.........jeez so much random